Does anyone have any experiences with dealing with relationships

>>17472862
Sounds pretty sweet. Sex, no having to muck around, probably get a dope dowry from the girls family.

>>17472865
They're actually kinda poor so I'm probably gonna be spending the most really. She also has very little education and just wants to be a housewife which is why they're pushing for the marriage so hard. I dunno, this just feels all kinds of wrong to me, I wanna finish my school first and get a job.

Any more ideas?

>>17472868
>this just feels all kinds of wrong to me

then dont do it

>>17472928
I kinda like her though. She's not a bad person, but this wholemarriage thing is setting me off.

My understanding is that arranged marriages actually have a pretty high level of success and satisfaction when the families involved have had time to get to know each other well.

Not my culture, so I can't give relevant experiential advice specific to arranged marriages. I married someone from outside my culture, and we have a very happy marriage. My wife is a housewife and mother, and our kids are now in their teens.

Family is everything. Remember that- if you imagine a circle drawn around your wife and children, and outside of that circle are your parents and hers, brothers, sisters, etc, and there's a larger circle outside of them, with cousins and such- your first focus is your nuclear family- what you put out in effort and energy you will get back. In many cultures, there's less of a difference between how you care for your nuclear family vs. how you care for your parents, siblings, cousins, etc, but regardless, marriage is challenging- it presents the greatest challenge and the greatest rewards to those who work for them.

Talk to your parents about timing- maybe talk to hers, too? Perhaps it would make sense to delay any negotiations for a fixed period of time for you to establish yourself a little better.
On the other hand, it's comforting to have someone looking out for your best interests while you're establishing yourself, too.

>>17472862
I am married for a year now, it's all been going smoothly and i don't regret doing it but you have to keep in mind, your opinion and decisions, including life decisions always have to be done together and it's unlikely that you are on the same boat moast of the time. You will have to expect that you spend the rest of your life with this person, you should be certain you want that, it can be quite annoying to constantly have someone around. And when the need arises you will have to babysit her, ffs that can go wrong.

If you are unsure, then go against it and don't fuck up your life.

The positive aspects are something you have to weight in yourself anon.

>>17472945
>>17472947
First I wanna say thanks for typing these posts, they really opened me up about the whole thing and I feel better now. Second, both parents from both sides already know each other and want the marriage to happen as soon as possible (my dad offered to give me money for everything, so I can't use the 'I need to get a job' excuse). I like this girl she isn't a terribly bad person, but I do not want to give up my entire future ahead of me just for one person. As selfish as this may seem, I just don't wanna be a 'slave' yet who just has to go from work and to my children 24/7, I have stuff I wanna do I still want to live life. I'm still wondering if I'm wrong about this and I'm being too selfish but I don't know.

Sorry for being whiny, but this is something big for me and I have zero experience regarding women (I'm a virgin).

>>17472998
This is your life and you're not being selfish defending it. Not sure how your culture defines what is normal to your and her parents but it's ultimately up to you.

>>17472862
>What do you guys think?
stay away from people that want to arrange a marriage. they most likely are stuck in an anachronistic mindset.

>>17473014
Her parents aren't that bad though. Admittedly, arranged marriage is a backwards concept, but it's not really her or her family that I'm worried about but just the amount of commitment I have to give. I don't feel like sacrificing my entire life just yet, I mean I didn't even finish school yet.

>>17473008
That's what I said to my parents but they kept insisting that they'd pay for everything and I'd continue my school and do whatever I want. I seriously doubt that, but nothing I say really manages to change their mind so I came here for advice.

>>17473026
what nationality are you if you dont mind me asking

>>17473030
Turkish.

>>17473039
my best friend is turkish. i didn't know turks did arranged marriages too.
you should finish school. if you're under 25 dont get married now

>>17472862
How old are you, OP?

>>17473039
Gonna try alt advice. Why not use this as an opportunity to grow with your wife? Neither of you know each other that well but I am assuming your fiance is feminine and modest.

Rather than see yourself locked down, why not grow together? As a 26 year old man I would have loved to have grown and experienced life with a woman who was to be my wife.

Independent freedom and expression sounds nice but, assuming you mean western views of being free and experience life: its lonely. You get drunk, may do drugs, go to parties but a lot of the yime many are just using that to firget their daily lives cause they hate it. You have a good woman who is also young and eager to please.

There may not be love yet and if your parents are generous as they say, go and travel with her. Enjoy the highs and lows of getting to know one anothet and as bad as it may seem, at least you can experience life with a committef companion.

As for career, well, if Turks are remotely like east asians im sure that will work out post marriage. My only note is maybe negotiatw grand kids timing. Have the marriage but postpone kids.

Good luck anon.

>>17472862
Don't do it. You'll regret it.