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Huge tl;dr ahead, but essentially:
>girlfriend unsure of how to proceed
I'm in a 2+ year relationship with my boyfriend. He's 25, I'm 20. He's out of college with a job, I'm in college. We started off dating in the same state, but now he lives six hours away with limited time to visit.
My mom is struggling with cancer, my dad is bipolar and unmedicated, I'm dealing with depression and anxiety, mention oversleeping, weight gain, and imbalanced hormones.
I've lost almost all of my friends, including a toxic friend that I had throughout most of my childhood. The two friends I have left have their close friend causing drama and isolating me further from them.
In other words, shit is really hard for me right now. That's not the problem that's eating at me tonight, though.
I lived up at my boyfriend's for a good chunk of the summer, and it definitely hurt my relationship with him. He felt like a caretaker, and I felt trapped, even there. My sex drive was at zero, and his was at one hundred.
We've had two breakup scares since I've come back from his place. We've settled on staying together, but he's going to try and see other people to stay sexually satisfied.
I pretty much feel worthless as a partner now, but the thought of losing him for emotional support is very hard on me. He says he'd still want to talk to me the same as friends, but to me, that just kind of makes me feel... used... ? As if the only thing he sees that differentiates a relationship from a friendship is sex. Which further makes me feel devalued.
I can feel myself emotionally closing off from him now, and that terrifies me. I don't know what to do. I deeply miss my old friend, as toxic as she was, but I know I shouldn't go back. (Not only that, she probably wouldn't take me back, anyway.) I'm sure some of the drama is in my head, but all of it? I don't know.
What do I do? What would you do? Any advice or experience?
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>>17471979
>I pretty much feel worthless as a partner now, but the thought of losing him for emotional support is very hard on me
You need a new boyfriend. Maybe stay in this relationship while you look for a new one, if that seems easier.
>I've lost almost all of my friends
It's easy to make new friends in college. Join some clubs.
>I'm dealing with depression and anxiety, mention oversleeping, weight gain, and imbalanced hormones.
See a doctor if you aren't already.
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You need to get yourself together and not have to depend on anyone if you want to be in a relationship. Being brutally honest, you're what any guy wish they didn't have.
Also do what >>17472031 this anon said.
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>>17472031
I've been in doctor limbo since I hit 18, though I have a psychiatrist that keeps me from going completely off my rocker.
The plan was to get a doctor in my college town instead of my home town, as it pretty much is impossible to get work done to figure out issues when you're not there most of the time.
>>17472054
And... shit. You're both right, I really am dragging him down. I guess my issue is that, for eight years, I was in a crazy codependent relationship with the toxic friend I mentioned, so I don't really remember a time before that kind of dynamic.
I guess the real issue is my desire for codependency that's keeping me from being able to let him go, even though that should be the right and responsible thing.
Fuck.
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