It's my turn to bring something in for everyone to eat at

>>17470508
You'll need to buy something out, if you can't cook.
What did the others bring? You could go for burgers, or a potato salad, or a meat pie, just follow whatever they did.

just buy a box of doughnuts

Never, ever cook anything for people in the office.

>if it's good they'll be jealous
>if it's bad they'll laugh at you
>if they hate you they'll get "sick"

This is really a no-win situation. Buy something from the store, sealed, and make a big show of it being sealed.

>always volunteered to get dessert

Sure it was more expensive but I never had to deal with any of that shit, and even got props for my generosity.

Pot lucks are a carry-over from the 60s, and just a way for people to assess your life outside of work. Never eat from a kitchen you've never been too either. There are some nasty ass people in this world.

Buffalo chicken dip with vegetables and tortilla chips to dip.

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>>17470509
Last time people have brought in sausage rolls, muffins, bagels and pizza. I said I would do something different. I like the burger idea as I can cook burgers. Everyone likes burgers and it's the only thing I know how to do. Give them a burger each and be done with it for 6 weeks. Potato salad is good too but they did say they wanted unhealthy stuff.

If I cook burgers at home how do I re heat them at work? They have an oven I think.

>>17470516
They would probably crucify me.

>>17470537
Literally everyone in the office does it. I guess they can't fucking fill their days as it is. I have to play along to be accepted im afraid.

>>17470569

So it's not just something to eat, it's full-on lunch. Unhealthy lunch at that. God you work with ham planets.

Need to know if there is an oven, microwave, stove top, fridge, etc. Will they actually sit down and eat or are you expected to bring paper plates as well?

>admit you can't cook
>throw yourself on their mercy
>pick the nicest one and beg for help
>awwww look young anon can't cook and is ashamed
>let's help him!

You get bonus points for being honest and vulnerable, you get people to help you, no one thinks you're a douche even if it turns out terribly, and you (ack) "bond" with them.

Might work. They might be too polite to tell you it sucks even if it does. And when/if it improves the next time, they'll compliment you.

Ask for help. They'll love you.

>>17470508

Bring whatever you like as long as you ejaculate into it.

>>17470569
The burgers will be cold and dry by the time you eat them.
Something like a pasticcio or a pie would be better. And you won't cook it, get it from a store.
That and a dessert, and you're done.
Or do you want to impress them?
You say you can't cook, but what can you actually do? Maybe you're good with a gel but aren't considering it, idk.

If they have an oven just premake something in a casserole dish bring it in throw it in the oven and be done. I can't cook either but mixing some shit up in a dish is super hard to fuck up there's millions of basic recipes

The easiest thing you can do is Chili. Look up a recipe, buy a few different kinds of beans and some ground meat with some spices. Buy a can of tomato sauce, a small can of diced tomatoes, and a small can of tomato paste.

Soak beans for a while.

Fry the ground meat in the pan for a while, add spices and salt. Throw meat in slow-cooker with beans.

After a while when the beans are soft (like a few hours maybe), add all the tomato stuff.

Bam, a shit ton of food.

I don't know but if you bake something then please cum in it before you feed it to them.

But how difficult is it to follow some fucking chocolate brownie baking instructions? Are you so mentally crippled that you can't follow a simple recipe? Fuck me.

>>17470508
sandwiches spiked with bath salts
record and post to interweb for increased profit

>>17470537
I can't believe people actually think like this