If you've been together with a guy for 3 1/2 years, and

So you want to marry him for the medical benefits to help for the surgery? Like I get you love him and everything but that seems to be the main reason why you are pushing him for marriage...

Also no offence but he comes off as an indecisive pansy who can't make up his mind. A man should be decisive in his decision and not be taking his sweet time not sure what to do.

>>17468362

It sounds to me like he's considered marrying you, and you're forcing the issue a bit on him, which is scary. Maybe he's not ready to be solely responsible for your medical decisions? Maybe he's not ready to tell your parents to go fuck themselves when it comes to making plans for your long term wellbeing? Maybe he's not ready to take care of you if you do end up getting damaged?

I mean, this is a matter of expectations for sure... what you're willing to accept, and what he is. I'm just saying, I'm not totally ready to tell a girl's parents that they have no say in their daughter's life as some kind of "gotcha" moment.

A guy who doesn't want to marry you will make all the excuses in the world xD !

He is just with you for the fun and doesn't really care about you.

Better get off that relationship soon before he brakes your heart a year later.

Take care.

>>17468362
if he doesn't want to marry you, is that grounds to break up?

The trolls are getting better.
7/10 op

>>17468362

I think breaking up simply over a hesitant shrug seems kind of silly.

>>17468380
I mean I don't really see much point in marriage other than those benefits. I was kind of just planning on living together without being married if I didn't have to get surgery.
It's only been 2 weeks since I asked him, but you're right he is very indecisive...
>>17468386
I think that's probably most likely what it is. My surgery has a pretty low rate of complications if they do happen though. From what I calculated it'd be about a 1-4% chance of death and about a 3% chance or so of possibly curable paralysis or brain damage. And I bet most of those complications are from people that have other comorbidities or from shitty mexican surgeons. I just asked him "just in case" because it was late and I kept researching benefits of marriage and shit. And also I saw it'd give him lower car insurance because he has been putting off getting his license because of the high cost of car insurance. (he's 24)

>>17468409
>>17468417
I mean I just feel like if he waited until after I'm out of surgery it'd piss me off a lot and I'd resent him for it because that kind of ruins the "through sickness and health" part of marriage vows.
And what's the point of being with someone if they're shrugging about marrying you after being together and living together for awhile?

I mean I really wouldn't want to break up with him because I still do love him and we're perfect for each other but I couldn't see myself marrying him because I'd feel mad about it.

>>17468432
if he waited you'd be pissed off?

you sound like a spoiled cunt.

>>17468473
I mean I feel like there's no point in us getting married at that point as apposed to just living together without marriage. I'd feel mad if he wanted to wait until I we had money to spend on a wedding when I feel like this is more important.
I mean maybe if he asked if still get married but I wouldn't want a wedding at all if he had waited just because he wanted a stupid wedding.

>>17468484
Please stop lmao I can barely read this without cringing from how selfish you sound

>>17468484
maybe he wants to marry for love and not medical reasons.
it literally sounds like you don't want to anyone particular, just want someone you can control to make decisions for you in case you go under.
just give him power of attorney, numbskull

3.5 years is pretty soon to get married. 1 year living together is very very soon. If I was that guy I'd be freaking out too, because I definitely would not want to marry right then but might want to later.

OP you sound like a black chick. In a bad way