hey /adv/ I want to talk with someone who knows about psychological

File: toucan-mustard.jpg (2MB, 5616x3744px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 5616x3744px

hey /adv/ I want to talk with someone who knows about psychological blocks because I think I have a chronic block or something that feels like that.

21 yo, studying at school, living with heavy bills (mother has cancer, sister is a schyzo), I'm unemployed but looking for a job, not a lot of friends, overweight but not obese all that mambo jambo, used to be fit and go to the gym but I don't have the money anymore. So

I really need someone who has a similar problem. I wouldn't call this stress but suppose I want to commit to something, be it a hobby be it studying something be it working on side projects etc. the thing is I can't. I just fucking can't

I just stay static, all day on 4chan or applying to jobs or playing pokemon, I am not depressed or anything, I am not dull either, I'm happy whenever I'm with my friends (once a week) but I feel like my dreams are all useless and I can't move to do things for the sake of me, I'm afraid of something, It gives me an insane amount of anxiety and I don't know.

people say it's temporal (because my sis and my mom will get better) but I feel like this state it's never going to end and I just want to cry sometimes

I also believe in strong will and I value will a lot. not having a strong will to do the things I wan't to do is making me hate myself for being so useless. and I compare myself to others so much, they all have such happy life I don't want to be a bitter person.

what can I do to get out of this block? is there a name for this? and I'm sure it's not depression anyway I wouldn't have money for a doctor but I want to get out of this

any similar experiences?