Is free will a meme? I don't like who I am, but I feel

>be mentally ill (depression)
>be surprised you can't get over it on your on

Look up the symptoms of depression. If it sounds like you, go to a doctor.

To answer your question: yes, you can change yourself. It's hard, but possible. It's REALLY hard if you're depressed.

>>17464306
I started getting treated for depression when I was 13, I'm currently 20.

I'm on Citalopram, which helps me not be an anxious wreck, but I still feel like shit. Therapy e.g. CBT never did anything for me.

>the antidepressants meme

Holy shit, when did people become so lazy and gullible that they believe simply taking a pill will fix their lives?

OP, you need to fix your life. Get a hobby. I'd say start lifting, and also put your feelings into writing or literature. Also, go out and try meeting people. Talk to girls at work or get Tindr. And if your job is really bringing you pain, quit.

Try to do this daily: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zD-3j2g9w9U

>>17464323
No claims that pills cure you. They simply take the edge off, which lets you find the motivation to work on an effective cure. Kinda like how cold medicine doesn't really cure you, but lets you still be functional

>>17464309

You feel like shit becAuse your life is shit

Improve your life = improve your mood and motivation

Sounds stupid, but simple things like taking out the trash and tidying up so your home isn't a mess, not staying up late so you get your sleep, brushing your teeth when you should and keeping good hygeine and making sure you eat healthily and not junk and not too much soda. All these small things add up and will improve your mood.

Also, consider getting a new job or switching fields, get a GED and bcome a plumber, maybe your present way of life is simply not for you.

Also, antidepressives since 13? Damn. You tried to commit suicide right?

>>17464370
The two major areas I lack in are my job and my social life. I'm a programmer and not a particularly good one, I don't really like my job. I have no friends and I've never had a girlfriend. Physically I'm good (tall, I lift, broad shoulders, meh face, grills have crushed on me in the past), I live on my own in a nice enough place (for someone my age - 20), I have a good amount of disposable income. My hygiene is good and my room is clean most of the time.

>you tried to kill yourself, right?
Not yet senpai, I can thank the meds for that.

>>17464367
Pretty much this. I'd rather be unhappy on meds than a fucking wreck without them.

>>17464323
I was taking your comment seriously until you dropped the elliott hulse video.

I have been accepted to the an institute in London for my Master's without real effort. I have done jack shit in high school or uni, spend a lot of time playing music and actually performed professionally in solo concerts and orchestras for a while.
I do a bit of sports, I socialise, I can and like to cook, I like camping and hiking, I crafted a knife out of a branch with a simple folding knife, I have had girlfriends, have dated a little, went on long holidays with friends.

And yet I feel like shit. Having no motivation didn't stop me from doing the bare minimum required. I am literally bored to death. I take no satisfaction out of anything. I recently hiked 700 miles in under a month and I couldn't care less, even though everybody is really impressed.

I don't know what a psychiatrist could change in me that will suddenly make me enjoy things. Even laying in bed atm hurts my body physically; I can not find a comfortable position and I'll probably get that spasm in my leg again that I have since the long hike.

>>17464399

Get a trade then, you have the body for physicsl work, programming is soulless grinding, only fit for sperglords and even they hate it.

Good physique is good for smith and pipefitter, plumbing and electricity is wasted on broad shoulders.

> industry worker here, physicsl labour makes me sleep like a baby and keeps my head free of negative thoughts.

If you are good at it, then trades can earn you more money than programming, especially if you are not particularily good at it

>>17464404
I will never be able to understand where you're coming from anon, but I think you might need therapy more than I do. My depression is contextual - my life objectively sucks and is making me miserable. With you it seems like it's more of a problem in your head than in reality.

>>17464422
I've got some bulging discs so I'd rather not go into physical work. A couple months ago I spent a whole day shoveling sand and I was feeling it in my back for an entire week. I feel fine when I'm just standing/sitting, but if I have to do something as simple as stay bent over to wash the dishes, it acts up.

Thanks for the (You) anyway anon.

>>17464441

Weren't you lifting?

Most back issues are solved by having good posture and doing the excersises I KNOW you have been recommended that you probably don't do because you are lazy about it

Sitting in front of a screen is just as damaging for your back as physical labour.

And of course your back fucks up if you shovel sand all day, I do sometimes heavy amounts of shovelling at my job, and it has taken me YEARS to build up back strength and proper posture so I'm not busted up when I come home.

Did you know you can shovel stuff in four ways?
You can.
Normal grip left hand down the shaft, throw stuff leftwatrs
Normal grip right hand down the shaft, shovel stuff rightwards
Reverse grip, left hand downwards, shovel stuff rightwards
Reverse grip, right hand downwwards, shovel stuff leftwards

It's all about technique

>>17464469
Most of the people I know who are decently strong also have nagging injuries. Mine is my back.

Exercises help when you have muscle imabalances or are too tight. I have an actual spinal issue, which can only be marginally helped by stretching and exercise.

>shoveling technique
Yeah, my technique was definitely shit, but I was doing it for just one day and didn't think about it too much.

>>17464502

Exactly, and then you think that you cannot ever do physical labour because of that

Half my collegues have nagging injuries, I have nagging injuries, but regular excersize (working) with good posture and being thoughtful about what you do goes a long long ways.

Shit son, my grandma has slipped disks and arthrisis in her whole body, and she basically never did physical work in her life

Like I said, it's all about technique, and modern physicsl labour is often done with the aid of machines, compared to fifty or 100 years ago when it was all muscles.

Again, if you feel incompetent at your job, and you feel depressed and down about it, then switch field, and trades is not a bad place for someone with some intelligence and some brawn, and it most definately pays the bills let me tell you

>>17464502

Addendum, strengthening your back muscles will also help you take off the load of your spine, which is why you should do all those minor core training excersizes that I KNOW you should have been recommended, or else you should find a physiotherapist to show.

I had a collegue with slipped disks who got symptom free because he actually folowed the excersize plan and made all these small, yoga-like excersizes, that strengthned all the minor balance muscles in the core and back area.

>>17464513
It's kind of a crazy decision to make, honestly. I've been planning on getting into programming since I was around 13, I went to school for it. I feel like I can't turn back anymore.

I do have one year of school left, might experiment with a more physical job, just cause why not.

>>17464532
I'll look into it. No exercises have helped me so far, but to be honest I've never been very diligent in following any routine.

>>17464564

So you had a dream and now it turned out reality is a bitch

Welcome to the real world

Programming sounds very cool, i will give you that, but a LOT of it is bullshit trial and error and you are limited by the programming language in what you can do, and when it comes to it there is simply a lot of gruelling work for something to turn out great.

Then again, many fields are the same, just with different factors.

But there is no reason to be stubborn, even if you have thought about his line of work for so long, because things change, the world changes, YOU change, what was interesting a half decade ago might be boring now. That is how it is.

>>17464564

Seriously, dilligence is what makes those excersizes work. It takes months or years until you really notice. And hey, Inknow everything is sore the first 10 times, it feels all wrong and why is it getting worse when it should be getting better? But that is just those muscles that are woefully undeveloped that tells you they haven't been used properly for a long long time.

And you should very seriously go to a physiotherapist to get him/her to show you again, because excersizing wrong can be crippling, just like lifting wrong will cripple you in the long run