Hey, /adv/, I have a story. At the end of the story I really

>>17464037
I didn't want to do any of that weird stuff, my sis could get hurt/scared, so my plan was to explain to her how fucked up I was and just hope she would understand.
>around this time, stay up for 3 days at a time, so fucking out of it, don't care about anything
>post more pictures on TSChan, last picture in set, censor, save, post, go to bed
>wake up in the morning, see "are you sure you want to save?" message in the photo editor
It was kind of blurry because it was taken in a car.

Sometime before this, I feared getting V& and uploaded my reaction folder somewhere, I couldn't upload my entire 4chan folder because it was 40gb, 45~kb/s is shit, I was going to do it eventually.

>months pass
>this
"The Sunflower case began in November 2011 when Danish law enforcement officials shared with HSI their discovery of material and posts on a chat board indicating that a 16-year-old boy was planning to rape an 11-year-old girl. The suspect was soliciting advice on a pedophile board and posting images of the girl. One image held a clue that proved to be invaluable to investigators: a yellow road sign visible from the window of a moving vehicle. The road sign depicted a sunflower graphic that was unique to the State of Kansas."

>dream that I got raided by local police
>wake up from sleeping in a panic, I need to clean my computer up, CP that needs to be written over on hard drive
>look at computer
"I'll do it when I wake up"
>sleep again
>BOOOM
>GET ON THE GROUND GET ON THE GROUND GET ON THE GROUND GET ON THE GROUND GET ON THE GROUND GET ON THE GROUND
>Realize I'm already on the ground
>they fucking threw me off the couch onto the ground, have rug burn
>machine guns in my face, I'm not a gunfag, I don't know what kind
>what the fuck i-
>hope it's a drug bust

>>17464038
>everything goes quiet, I see a SWAT team rushing around my house, homeland security patches on them
>they sit me in a chair, after a few seconds my hearing comes back, "Do you understand?"
>blank stare at guy
>realize he is holding a paper that is a search warren and that he just read me my rights
>nod even though I didn't hear any of it

>guy takes me upstairs, sits me down in another chair
>has the laptop I was on, the fucking truecrypt volumes are still mounted
I used to use Jdownloader+Tor to download CP 24/7, there were almost always videos lined up to be downloaded, internet was like 150kb/s 40someting kb/s
>realize I'm fucked
>ask "Is the partyvan outside?"
>he kind of smiles weirdly, think he got the joke
>"Huh, What's that?"
>he doesn't get it at all
>pulls out voice recorder, constantly asking me to speak louder for it
>asks tons of random questions about Tor, cp, the photo editing programs, if I'm good with computer, blah blah, have you ever wanted to pooper your loli
>avoid all questions
>at one point they bring up my computer, it's not even logged out
>ask if I can tell the fags on IRC that I'm getting vanned, almost lets me, computer sleeps because low battery
>guy comes up, says, "search is done" something like that
>at the end, local police officer is there for some reason, "You should have just told him, son, don't waste our time."
>walking down stairs, homeland security guy holds my cuffs
>tell him I have to pee, walk to bathroom, hands are fucking numb from handcuffs
>un-cuffed, pee, cuffed again, start walking out
>stop at door, look at family, see sis, she looks pretty shocked, say "I'm sorry [her name]"
>get out door, they put chains around my waist and feet
>there is a line of van/truck type things out there all the way down my street
>get in local police car, homeland security guy comes along
>ask if they recorded the raid, "Huh? Oh, don't record 'entry'(? some fancy word), only the actual search"

>>17464041
Probably to cover their ass in case they killed someone.
>get to police station, pee
>driven to 'intake', first jail experience
>go to court within however many days, get another date
>lawyer comes and visits me, "I'm the lawyer that they assign when they want people to take a plea bargain"
>shows me stack of papers, it's evidence they have so far, asks if I'm ready to "go to the boy's industrial home for a long while"
>of course not, 'ok', he leaves
>5 months or so of going to court, discussing case with lawyer, mom there
>one time they show me a stack of binders, they actually printed out every CP picture I had, thumbnails in 5,6
>20~ binders, prosecutor pulls out one, flips though, mom in room, prosecutor tries to show discuss
>"The only normal, well kind of normal porn we found on his hard drive was cartoon porn with, you know, it's uh, girls with... male genitals"
kek
>one time they have evidence there, homeland security guy is there, ask if they could burn a copy of my 4chan folder and my music
>later told no because tons of porn/gore, I'm 16 at the time, music is copyrighted
The homeland security guy also told me that when they were going around looking for me, some girl identified anther guy, he got raided before I did. He was completely innocent.
The guy who I talked to then, he was pretty cool, I guess, he had a good sense of humor and knew what he was talking about, he was a forensic examiner or some shit, I think
>pulls out binder, it's on that I wrote down all the memes I knew from memory on, 3 pages, front and back
>shows one that says "CP" and "incest is wincest", flips to two-page that says "GOD HATES FAGS"
>we both laugh, he says it's surprising how nonchalant/relaxed I was about the entire thing
>find out sometime during that time sis wrote a letter to the judge/prosecutor saying she doesn't want me to go to jail

>>17464045
>prosecutor threatens me, I could be charged as an adult, 3 charges each, 25 years to life, hundreds of thousands of CP pictures, charged individually, 5-15 years each depending on some scale
>in intake facility, after a few weeks start having nightmares of sister crying, realize I'm a horrible person, cry a lot
>plea bargain, 4 years
>do 4 years in juvy
>do 'treatment', idea is pounded into my head that my sister is some innocent little girl I hurt, accept it
>some shit
>out now
>get out, do conditional release

This is where my real problem is, I wanted to tell you this story for whatever reason but, I really do care about my sister. Here is where things go to shit for me.

>move back home, get NEETbux
>slowly get to know sister again, parents never talked about her during my time in jail
>turns out she got a 26-year old BF sometime after I went to jail, lost virginity at 13, guy never charged, was her bf for years
there is no god
>she's a cutter, smokes pot all day every day, always hanging around guys who can get her weed
>hear her joke about how she has probably had more BFs than there are cuts on her arm
>realize she is a roastie
>kisses tons of BFs around me
>innocent little girl perception shattered into a million peaces, shocked
I have anxiety attacks thinking about her, seriously. It's horrible, I care about her more than anything.
Anything sexual about her kills me now. I don't have any lewd interests in her and haven't for years.

>>17464047
>her plan is to move back to kansas when she turns 18, move in with some fat, ugly potheat, be with her old 'friends', probably whore for weed and place to stay
kill me
>she's going back on her birthday to get wasted
>she's 18
>legal age to FUCK
>horrified at all the porn I've watched, remember one scene, girl's birthday, orgy with random guys
My nightmare.
suicide.jpg

Ok, What do I do, /b/? We are moving soon and all of her friends will be HOURS away, so, I'll get all of the time I need with her until she finds new friends. This is separate from her plans.
After we move, I have 6 months to do whatever I need to do before she moves out.
I want to become her best friend, and hopefully, she won't move. She is literally all I care about.
She doesn't hate me or anything that I know of and our relationship is slowly getting better.
Help, /adv/, What are some things I can do to be a better brother?
I want her to be OK, and, have stable relationships at least. I want to be there for her. I can't if she moves a fucking thousand miles away.
Any serious suggestions would be appreciated.
I tried to walk with her yesterday so I could talk but it was the one day she had a massive headache. rip

Also, ask me anything.

KYS

How the hell did you just download enough CP that can fit into loads of binders?

Also OP any idea why she turned out that way?

>>17464357
>How the hell did you just download enough CP that can fit into loads of binders?
I'm pretty sure they just printed out and used however many binders they needed.
>>17464357
No idea, maybe she has a hard time coping with what I did, I've read about this kind of thing being the result of pedoshit.

>>17464377
Fix her life, after you secured yours. When you do, be persistent in helping her. Never stop and let her see reason before she gets even more degenerate.