Why don't people care about me? I'm nice, kind, polite,

>>17460088
Have you considered that you are needy?

>>17460088
What makes you say they don't care about you?

>>17460093
:/ no

>>17460094
Do you care about me?

>>17460093
How would I go about knowing if I am?
I'm the one giving them things, being nice to them. They don't consider my needs.

>>17460094
Because they don't display any care. When they're with me, it's about what -they- want, or what they can get out of me. Myself or my needs are never taken into consideration.

>>17460088
Don't give things to people expecting to get anything back. Do it because it makes you happy to give.

Also - You will always perceive what you give as much bigger than what you receive.
When I got rid of my "OMG I do so much for everybody and no one ever gives me shit back" attitude, I understood how much people actually did for me, and how loved I was.
Not everyone shows love and care in the same way you do, you might not even see what others are doing for you.

>>17460088
here's some tips:
1. be more concise
2. don't ever sugar coat anything, see#1
3. don't ever be afraid to upset others, see#2
4. take control of your emotions. do not let others' actions dictate your mood

>>17460110
If only that were the case.

No anon, it's not a case of me being too caught up in myself and thinking highly of myself. They really don't care about me.

>>17460110
If they don’t hit you up just to see how you’re doing, they don’t care about you.

>>17460184
That's not true. I don't text people randomly, "just to see how they're doing", I detest doing it. I don't see the purpose. I am introverted as fuck.

I do care about people, a lot.
I drove 1000 km over the last week because my boyfriend was in hospital 40 km away from my place. I drove there twice a day, before and after work.
I stay up all night to make sure my boyfriend wakes up on time if he has to be up very early in the morning, because we both don't really hear alarms if we're sleepy and I don't want him to rush. I wake up 20 minutes earlier every morning to cook him fancy stuff for breakfast. I make sure he comes home to a clean house and ready dinner every day.
I spent days taking care of my family members and my close friends when they were sick (which included changing diapers for my grandma).
When my friend told me he wanted to lose weight and exercise, I kept tracking his progress, encouraging him and cooking him healthy food.
I don't show affection with words. I don't show my affection with constant contact. I show it through actions.

My best friend shows it through constant contact - she doesn't go a day without texting me since we were 12. My boyfriend through words. He writes me notes and cringey love poems.
Everyone is different, this doesn't mean that they care less or love you less.

>>17460207
>I detest doing it. I don't see the purpose.
Because you're thinking of yourself and how much of an effort that is FOR YOU. You don't care the others might feel better if you send them a random message.

>I do a lot of things for my bf
>bf
Whom you obviously love and whose love you so desperately want for yourself and that's why you do all those things for.

>I only give to those who give me
kk

>>17460088
>I'm nice, kind, polite, I care about others and consider myself to be a true blue friend.
maybe it's not showing through in your behaviour. or maybe your family are just more uncaring than most people. some people just have shit families, dude.

>>17460231
>Because you're thinking of yourself and how much of an effort that is FOR YOU.
I simply don't enjoy doing it. Having a conversation when you don't have anything to talk about is stupid to me. I don't see the purpose in it.
I don't show affection in that way, it doesn't come natural to mean I don't fucking enjoy it.
It's like asking someone "If you truly loved me, you'd let me put a dragon shaped dildo up your butt". To me, texting to talk about meaningless shit is fucking painful.

>I only give to those who give me
Not really. I give to those close to me more than I give to anybody else (like everyone does) and of course they give back to me.
But I am a moderately generous person, I volunteer and I'm pretty kind in general.

>>17460088
Sorry but a person who describes themselves as you do, are normally not as they think.
You are most likely the type who does stuff not to be nice or because you are nice. But because you want people to think you're nice. Which people know so they don't like you.

>>17460088
>I'm nice, kind, polite, I care about others
semi-serious: sounds like you're boring.

how much of the care you give out is explicitly asked for? if it's very little, maybe it's not welcome. *I* know I don't want for example my family caring or inquiring how I do or asking me to do things with them, and so on.
And obviously if you're benevolent despite not receiving something in return, then it's going to be taken for granted and assumed that you're doing these things (whatever it is) out of selflessness. If you aren't, or you're getting tired of being the only do-gooder around, the obvious consequence is to stop, if stopping makes life easier for you.

>>17460270
>boring.
I don't understand this either. So being bad is interesting? Why is good seen as boring?

I don't want to stop being nice. It's who I am. I just wish others would have a different reaction than taking it for granted or using me.

Then is this why they don't care about me? That only people who are in some way bad or cold or mean are cared about?

>>17460285
>I don't understand this either. So being bad is interesting? Why is good seen as boring?
It's not that good or bad somehow have some inherent boringness to them. Always being nice/empathetic/understanding to everyone is boring*, and always being a dick is boring. If we imagine plots/graphs or lines drawn with a pencil, a curve or a spike is more interesting than a horizontal line.
And of course, personalities cannot be meaningfully reduced to a good-bad spectrum. Maybe there are personalities where that is sufficient, and it might just be that those are what is perceived as boring.
You know, if I met you in real-life and only knew you as this do-gooder you portray yourself as, I might think you're boring. But if I knew you regularely visit 4chan, you'd have me intrigued.

* or rather someone like that does not offer much interesting interaction, the same way someone saying "that's stupid" to everything you bring up is just tiring to interact with.

>Then is this why they don't care about me? That only people who are in some way bad or cold or mean are cared about?
Well, why do people care about others? or if these specific people you interact with care about others**, why do they? Maybe the amount of care given out by someone is primarily a property of that individual, and there are just more caring and less caring people. Suppose for a moment that that is true, showing more care and affection yourself would make no sense as an action if you wished to be in a environment where people care more about you. An action that _would_ make sense were to switch into a different environment. Meaning, find other, more caring people.

**which is not a given, mind you. Maybe observe them to see if they care more about others than they care about you. the result might be interesting and revealing. If they care as little about others as they do about you, it should be obvious what's going on.

>>17460334
>Always being nice/empathetic/understanding to everyone is boring.
There you have it then, I'm just boring.

With all the people I've encountered, the ones they care about and do a lot for seem to be those who are mean to them, who put them down, who don't care about them, who'd drop them in a flash, who'd betray them and so on. You know, generally treating them like shit. Seems like the more of an asshole you are, the more love you get. It makes people try to work hard to win your love.

It's alright, anon, I'll just remove myself from people.