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I don't know where else to ask this.
I've been in a "relationship" with someone I met online for like 7 months now, although we have known each other well for like 2 years or so.
Things are fine and I feel a lot towards him (i'm cautious to say "love" because we have never met irl). We call/skype regularly and it's a pretty standard relationship but that completely changes when we argue.
Whenever we have an argument he freaks the fuck out. He cries, has breakdowns and in the past has threatened to kill himself, told me he's taken pills and most recently (10 fucking minutes ago) self harmed and sent me the photos. I'm really freaked out by this right now, I don't know how to take this or what to do. I can't tell if he's done it because it's how he feels or if he did it to make me feel guilty or something...
I understand that this is extremely toxic behavior, but the relationship is not like this usually and he really doesn't seem the type to do this sort of thing (he's 23, graduated uni, smart af and has his life together in general). He just completely changes when we argue.
Help me pls.
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You never met him IRL, you don't have a real relationship. On the internet, people only show you what they want you to see, so you don't really know this guy no matter how much you think you do, and your feelings for him are most likely out of fantasy and expectations of what he might be.
I know someone probably told you all of this before and you may not even care about what i'm trying to tell you, but i've been in a LDR with someone i met on the internet before, i met her irl many times, we dated for a while, i thought i knew her like the palm of my hand after 6 fucking years but the truth is that i didn't, and i ended up broken hearted and depressed.
From what you're saying, this guy is full of issues he needs to work on before he is ready to have a mature, fulfilling relationship with someone else.
I'm telling you from the bottom of my heart, one, you don't really know him, two, he has a lot of issues and three, he clearly is a very selfish person who will try to guilt trip you into staying with him by threatening suicide.
Stay as far as you can from this guy, or you WILL regret it later.
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>>17456931
Really you just confirmed what I already knew but didn't want to admit.. It's sad and I guess it'll take me a while to get over this (as he's a very big part of my life) but as you said it's better in the long-run. Thank you.
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>>17456959
I feel sorry, i know it sucks.
She (my ex) was a big part of my life too, hell, she was the only person i had for years since i was a shut-in, and i was the only person she had too outside of her family.
We talked to each other on the phone or chatting on the internet everyday, for YEARS, i couldn't imagine my life without her, i was so in love.
While my reason was telling me to go slow because i didn't really know what she expected and what were her feelings, my heart was saying "screw that, everything's going to work out fine, love conquers all".
That's not how it works and in the end i got hurt very badly.
It's just not worth it, you'll most likely get hurt badly too. A guy who freaks out like that and threatens suicide just because you had an argument has some serious issues and could potentially become a huge trouble in your life, cut contact asap and if it helps you to deal with it, remind yourself that you do not really know this person and everything you like about him is what he allows you to know about him or was created by yourself out of expectations and fantasy.
Peace and stay well.
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