>have to wake early to be punctual on my job >can't

>>17453391
So this is modern parenting? If you are willing to leave him over this, you are a disgrace.

Just breastfeed. I dont know why so many US women find it spooky. Its natural.

Also if bait good job.

>>17453391
If you cant even hack it at the most basic of parental instincts that you'd put your job in front of your own child, maybe you aren't prepared to have a child.

Just do it and work it out with your husband. It is your biological advantage; your body as a woman. It is hard coded in your DNA. Besides. Breast milk has more nutrients for your child that it needs than the chemically treated artificial milk substance formulae.

Can't be lazy with your own blood and family. Find a way to balance sleep and work or find a different work load entirely. This is what entails building a family.

>>17453399
Fuck no, "just breastfeed" means I have to wake up randomly in the night and lose precious hours of sleep I need, risk showing up late on the job, risk poor performance on the job, risk getting fucking fired and end up on the street because we no longer have enough fucking money for the rent. I'm not suicidal/stupid enough to do that.

Don't breastfeed if you think it's not good for you.

Don't leave him. Bitchin father > no father

But why in hell did you have a child that you don't want to take care of ? just put it in adoption or idk

>>17453408
Putting my job in front of my child is what keeps said child off the street. If you want me to throw my child out in the street, just say so.

>>17453428
Yes but if you're complaining about divorcing your husband a lot of good that'll do wouldn't it?

Work it out and create balances of responsibility with your husband. Your child needs it. Explain your workload and requirement of rest. But also don't ignore his suggestions and take it so negatively. Work is important but family should matter also if not more.

>>17453427
No worries about the baby having no father. I'd just leave the baby to him.

>>17453435
lol so you think leaving the baby to lazy father is good idea

Just give the baby to an orphanage

>>17453428
They have pumps so you can put the milk in a bottle if time is the real issue here. If your husband doesn't work then find someone who does.

>>17453434
If he doesn't want me to consider divorce he shouldn't bring up idiotic bullshit "suggestions" that bring nothing but harm. It's not the first time we've fought over this and over much more stuff. He doesn't get it, he wants to be useless, he doesn't want to do his part and help, and I don't want a useless unhelpful lazy burden for a husband. He can keep his child. I'd rather have one with a man who actually wants to act like a good helpful husband and father.

>>17453442
He can be. Have faith in your husband and stick with him through thick and thin.

If I am reading it right you two are early in the marriage and it should be normal to have arguments. But it shouldn't be so bad you are thinking of breaking up.

Tell this to him and say those lazy suggestions arent helping. Provide other ways to distribute responsibility and remind him of his job as a husband to you and as a father to a child. It is a partnership not a fight and if you want it to be successful you both have to pull through. It is a team effort and it isnt easy. But if you give up now it all falls apart. Dont ruin something that can be good simply through improvement of communication.

>>17453435
Please give this child to capable people.

>>17453447
This marriage has already fallen apart, fuck no it is not right I have to put in all the effort while he does nothing. Fuck you, I do not want to salvage this useless shit I want to get rid of it and get better.

>>17453399
Why can't OP breastfeed during the day and use the formula during the night?

>>17453452
Have you told him you have been feeling this way and given him a chance to repent and do better?

Divorce shouldnt even be on your radar especially if you are raising a baby. Its life will be exponentially more difficult without you as its mother. I urge you to try and work things out despite how difficult it may seem. You have vowed to your husband as he to you and it is his job to pull his weight too. It seems like hes putting the nurturing all to you when in 2016 its both parents job.

>>17453428
I brought up the option of pumps. I spent 800$ for two double electric pumps, one for home and one I could use at work during my breaks. I don't produce much so it still needs supplement with formula, but hey, it was something. "No" he says. "It should be directly from you" he says. And he refuses to fucking pick up a stored bottle and feed the baby. Fucking hell.

>>17453478
Ah, so it's not about the breastfeeding, it's about him not wanting to help take care of the kid... Got it.

Divorce that fucking loser ASAP.

>>17453490
Well least now we can see one if the major contributing factors to marriage breakdown in the US. Complete lack of communication and self centred attitudes like OP.

>>17453495
Yeah because his self-centered attitude and complete lack of care for her requests are A-OK, only the woman needs to be understanding and put in effort in a relationship. Go kill yourself.

Don't marry someone if you're not willing to commit to them for life. Your kid is not going to having a loving family growing up, and that has a larger impact on them than you realize.

>>17453621
>>17453467
>ITT: statements that are offensive to adopted kids

This is what you can thank modern feminism for.

Your precious equal worker rights and smashing of the glass ceiling leaves you with no time to nurture your own child. Men are no longer men now that women no longer want to be women.

>>17453657
My precious equal worker rights grant me a decent enough income to live comfortably me and my whole family, thank you, and that is vital. I wouldn't be nurturing my own child either if I weren't earning my own money. In fact I wouldn't even be having children if I weren't earning my own money and thus were financially secure.

>Men are no longer men
Considering "men" here means "useless lazy assholes who don't want to do the most basic tasks of caring after their own children" that is a good thing.

>>17453657
Uh, in a "traditional" marriage the wife shouldn't be working at all, but OP has to or they can't pay their bills. If OP being able to take care of the child full time was a priority for her husband, he would have gotten a job that can actually support a family.

>>17453675
It's not that the bothers me. I want to be financially independent, I take pride in being financially independent, I like my job and having your own money is always better for obvious reasons. I would have never started a family if I weren't earning my own, I don't feel safe being dependent on someone else's money. I don't mind it if my husband earns less than me as long as we manage to pay the bills. It's his lack of interest in caring for the kid that fucking infuriates me.

lmao your husband is so ignorant. no matter how much milk youre producing it still wouldnt be enough for an infant. they always need formula with the breast milk in order to get full. get the formula and put it in his hands and tell his lazy ass to start feeding and stop arguing or else youre gone.
you might want to take his fat ass to the baby's doctor visit and get the doctor to explain the importance of formula when a mother isnt producing enough milk.

i know exactly what youre going through OP. it's like youre taking care of two babies except ones a grown ass man. at first i was angry all the time. yelling at him to help because that's the only way he listens. now im depressed as hell. crying often, feeling like a failure, over stressed, exhausted and wanting to kill myself.

>>17453589
I dodnt out the full blame on her but the fact she doesnt care for the child nor does he speaks volumes. They are both as bad as the other. You should get over your bias and see the situation for what it is. They are both dreadful and my statememt still stands, they are both irresponible.

>>17453776
This
Neither are qualified to have a child.

>>17453726
This OP. Don't listen to the /pol/ tier comments we are literally in 2016 and that means both the mother and the parent have an equal responsibility for the child. You need to talk with him but if you see no way of repairing go back with your parents if you can. Your child needs love time and nurture and the baby it's not at fault nor are you.

But you need to do something about it or nothing will happen you will just get more stressed and probably get post partum depression and hate your child.
If your husband can't hear you on this then you should leave with the child since you are the only one who takes care of him/her.

I don't know why men think mothers should do all the work. But mothers are as equally responsible as fathers and both need time with and without the baby

>>17453812
How can you misread the dialogue this much? Yes both parents are equally responsible but OP clearly shows she doesn't give a damn about either and is very open to the divorce
Her career comes first and she clearly is having trouble with work life balance but nothing she has written indicates she cares, more that she is incapable of coping with high stress, self centred and wants off what was meant to be a life time commitment.

The irony is, the very behaviour she is calling out for her husband is exactly what she is doing. The child should be put up for adoption if anything.

>>17453825
youre retarded.

how many parents do you know irl or on here do you know that would give their child for adoption?

OP isnt gonna do that. she's just venting and most likely wont leave her husband.

OP, if anything, should talk to him.

>>17453825
Being open for divorce is what intelligent people do when they see the marriage is not working and anyattempts to rectify the situation are not working either. Your idea that "hurr commitment for life" with the fucking wrong person is idiotic and leads to spouses and children getting killed in a fit of rage once the stress becomes too much. I shit on the idea that marriage is commitment for life in all cases, it should be only with the right person for you and not with a fucking disgusting failure of a man.

>>17453825
She can also leave the baby for adoption but since she had the baby I suppose she cared about it at one point.
She can recover that feeling or say fuck it all and throw the baby away but give her a break. Babies are not the ultimate responsibility a person has in their life. Kids are important. They should be. But there is also people like OP who care until one point. Some people have limits and don't know how to handle responsibilities. Welcome to the world.


Op can be a bitch and leave the kid for adoption
Op can be a worse bitch and leave the kid with her husband
Op can leave husband or try to solve things with the child

Just saying. The world isn't fair buddy

>>17453812
ITS 2016!

>>17453854
>4chan hates single mothers
>4chan hates women who don't want to be single mothers and leave the kid for adoption
>4chan doesn't blame the useless piece of shit fathers that don't do their job
4chan is retarded, news at 11.

>>17453842
I am going entirely by what OP said so far and its not retarded to assume she is not in the mood or mindset to properly communicate her frustration in a proper way or he.

It has already been suggested but has been snubbed. There is a complete breakdown of communication.

>>17453844
Your mindset is a textbook example why marriages dont work. Maybe thats how it works in your country but the point of any marriage is to see it through cause it shows integrity and strength. If they truly knew each other they should never have married to begin with. Your example is absurd, bar maybe in backward countries.

Your mindset is

>im stressed and things arent working , time to cut and run

Its gross because it shows how little you and many others have no idea how to properly cope and work with situations. Before you even go there, the guy sounds like an absolute manchild idiot but OP is exactly the same.

Two children in adult bodies who have no idea what true responsibility is.

>>17453857
Yes. You need to accept women are going to become equal you like it or not. You will probably die in a matriarchy full of support for LGBTQ and with people from the left doing the same mistakes people from the right tought them to do.

This triggers you and I know it but you will have to learn to deal with it.
The world isn't fair

>>17453842
OP indicates they have talked before already and it had lead to absolutely nothing. Why should OP waste her breath again with someone who has shown not to listen? Talking with someone who doesn't care to listen is a waste of time.

>>17453863
4chan hates irresponsible husbands
4chan hates irresponsible husbands

Oh wait. The third is the same thing. You are welcome

>>17453854
Thanks for that post but i cant believe that. The worst thing or one of, outside of criminal activity is to bring a child, intentionally, into this world without the means to care for them emotionally or the willingness to.

I know the world isnt peachy, but it speaks volumes for both they brought a kid into the world they only see as an asset at best and burden worst.

Its horrifying and that you justify her to be able to cut and run frkm her duty as a parent is frightening. Sad even.

>>17453872
>4chan hates irresponsible husbands
Except not, 4chan blames women even when the fault is on men.

OP divorce that useless piece of shit and DO NOT take custody of the baby. Being a single mother is the worst. It is the worst for you and it is the worst for the child. Leave it to the father, leave it to another couple, leave it to anyone but you alone. You will be better off for it.

>>17453875
>cut and run from her duty as a parent
You WANT more single mothers even though children of single mothers live the absolute worst?

>>17453884
My mother raissed me and I'm pretty succesful. You two are both disney tier.

>>17453879
You fucking idiot I'm saying the same thing. What the fuck are you a feminist troll? Can you fucking read first before trying to cut penises left and right?

>>17453884
No I want OP to grow up and take responsibility WITH her husband. This concept seems to be alien to many in this thread. Its disturbing. If it was just her and him, sure ok, leave. But its their child, his and hers.

Why cant people here understand that once you bring a child here into the world, the heakth of the child takes priority? Has your countries culture bevome THAT self centred and selfish that even familial ties is worth nothing?

Read more carefully and dont jump on the first thing you see which sets you off. Actually put thought into your perspectuve instead of blindingly defending her just cause she is a woman. Ive criticised both but it seems its only the critic of the woman which matters.

>>17453890
>I'm pretty successful
No you're not considering you're un undesirable virgin shitposting retarded opinions.

>>17453900
Stop projecting on me anon. That's really disturbing

>>17453898
Why the fuck should she take responsibility with someone who doesn't want to take responsibility? Are you dense? Are you retarded? It's like tying a giant fucking stone to someone's neck and telling them to swim. Hurr it's their fucking responsibility the stone is pulling them down! It's not like swimming with a 100kg stone drowning you is fucking impossible. You're a retard who can't get through his fucking stupid rotten mind that when people don't want to collaborate with you you can't collaborate with them and will only hurt yourself if you try to. The only good move here is to cut off the dead weight and get away.

>the health of the child
Nice implication faggot, children who get adopted are pretty fucking healthy too. How fucking dare you offend them like this. Kill yourself.

>>17453911
Truth hurts.

>>17453898
Not that anon but sometimes relationships can't get fixed ok? Op said she tried to speak to her husband and that it didn't result so she's thinking of leaving all because of what might happen to her and her job.
You live in a fantasy world. I bet you watch anime

>>17453915
:^)

>>17453912
I cant tell if this has become bait ir not. I and others already suggested adoption.

Suit yourself, no amount of reason will get through your thick skull. I know many of us come to this site for our own reasons but its quite clear why you are. Good chatting regardless and I wish you well.

>>17453916
And im sure you watch sensational drama tv shows.I know its not fantasy and some relations cant be repaired. Its less that the relationship cant be fixed and more the cold disregard the OP has to her child. Ive said my part anyway.

>>17453916
I dont live in a fantasy world though. I just live around functional people and families. Something some people in this thread are sorely lacking in exposure.

>>17453918
>he doesn't even realize people are talking about him
kek you're dumb

>>17453925
Yah you are extremely conservative because a nice healthy family isn't made with a mom and a dad.
Open your mind please
Good families have many forms

>>17453428
>putting my child on the streets is out of the question
>but i'll divorce his father and permanently overcomplicated/hurt my child's life because i won't bottle my breast milk for the father to feed to the kid later
Imagine being this kind of person.

>>17453434
What does your husband do?

>>17453412
You can pump your own breast milk to give to the baby for later, you know? Then you or your husband can take it out of the fridge in three middle of the night and feed the baby.

>>17453863
Go back to Tumblr or Reddit then if you can't handle differences in opinion.

Divorce is just bad for everyone OP when you know good communication and understanding can mend problems in marriages. He just needs to know that you dont want to be a traditional mother in the house and need him to work to take care of the child too.

>>17454392
>>17454323
>retards who can't read

>>17454394
What makes you think OP hasn't told him all that shit already and he just doesn't care?

>>17454392
Are you retarded? She said she already bottles the milk. It's the husband who doesn't want to get off his ass and feed the baby.
>>17454323

>>17453391
bottle fed babies get fat

just saying your kids on his way to obesity, also your husband a shit

Does your husband have a job to wake up to? If he does, I don't see why you two shouldn't share the burden of waking up in the middle of night.

I love it when people repeat "you just need good communication" like a bunch of zombies.

>I told him to get off his ass for the 999th time now and he won't fucking listen and I'm fucking fed up with it, what should I do?
>huuuuuuurrrrr you just need gooooooood communicaaaaaaatiooooooon

It's the woman's version of "just b urself bro"

>>17454574
If it puts her job in jeopardy and not his, I don't see why she have to should risk her job stupidly
Thinking that everything that has to be divided exactly in half even if that's bad for the actual circumstances is retarded

>>17454677
>have to should
*Should have to

>>17453399
It's the husband's. He should provide for his family so his wife doesn't have to work and can focus on the baby. It's manchildren like him that contribute the most to western society's downfall.

>>17454696
Or is it cunt worthy women who cant just shut their mouths and breastfeed a god damn evolved jizz load.

Man should be able to support the family without the mother's need to work.

I don't see why people would ever raise a child when both parents are working and money is an issue, because this happens.

>>17454737
>>17454696
>>17454731
No. This happens because some men are no-good, spoiled, useless sacks of shit who think they can get away with being a dead weight because 'muh gender roles'.

Women want to work and have their own money to support themselves and the family with. And that is good.

This would never be a issue if some men just got off their asses and did their fatherly duties rather then whine and expect the woman do everything. My father was a decent man who not once bitched or slacked over feeding and changing and doing his fatherly duties to me because that's what good fathers do. Some men are too stupid to get that and those men deserve to be shunned.

>>17454731
Don't you start school soon?

>>17454783
I get what you're saying, but I'm >>17454696 and fail to see what your point. Not all men have to change diapers if they don't want to. This fine as long as they're providing for their wives and children. If the man makes enough money his wife won't have to work and she can focus on the kids while he keeps things together. This is the way nature intended.

>>17454790
That's presuming the woman wants to stay home and depend on his money. Many women don't want that because having your own income grants you freedom and security in all cases, whereas if you depend on someone else's money and something goes wrong you're screwed. If the woman wants to work her husband should accept that, or divorce. If they don't divorce, and therefore accept her working, they damn have to accept changing diapers even if they don't want to.

>>17454811
they=men

>>17454811
You find me list of women who want to work while raising a child

>>17454930
There are plenty of women who want to do that.
I personally don't feel fulfilled if I don't work too.
I take care of everything in the house, my fiancé comes home to dinner and just needs to sit his fat ass on the couch, eat and get his dick sucked, but I work 8 hours a day and I would never give up on that.
I would work less if we had a child, but I wouldn't stay at home. I don't even NEED to work. I just like it.

>>17453670
You don't even want your child. Ditch them both you lazy fuck