How do you deal with the fact that nobody really wants you or

I pushed my sexual and romantic interests out of the bounds of reality. I also highly dislike being touched, so that coupled with my social incompetence (not anxiety) helps me to evade girls that like me even if I briefly feel attraction to them.

I cannot tell you my full story because I am about to go to sleep, but I am attracted exclusively to white haired pointy-faced girls who dress in peacoats from a country that doesn't exist.

>>17452755
I forgot the conclusion: I don't care about being lonely anymore, I quite enjoy it

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>>17452726
are you a boy or a girl?

>>17452726
I've been down this road and I wouldn't say I'm "fixed" but here's my two cents.

The main thing you or anyone needs, anon, is confidence. There's a lot of people out there who simply don't believe in themselves for whatever reason and that alone will obstruct your ability to do anything about your situation.

Try to figure out what is causing you to think this way about yourself. After you've identified this, you have to put all of your willpower into destroying this image of yourself you've created.

If you have somebody you can trust, tell them about how you feel. Good friends will try to build you up, and help you tackle your insecurities and goals. If you feel that there's something you can do to make yourself more attractive, work on achieving that. For me, I was always insecure about the way I looked, specifically, my weight and vision impairment, so I switched to contacts and started working out. After seeing myself change, my confidence grew immensely, and I got my first girlfriend within a year.

Deciding to swallow that pill is just that, a decision. Work on you, be confident in you, and soon you will be attracting others.

>>17452755
> attracted exclusively to white haired pointy-faced girls who dress in peacoats from a country that doesn't exist.
May I ask why that exact combination?

>>17452777
We'll talk in the morning maybe.

In short, a simultaneous series of daydreams about a fictional microcountry coupled with being madly in love with an engaged girl spiraled out of control until her fashion sense merged with the nation to create the unobtainable perfect woman. Today the nation eats away at my thoughts and grows stronger and stronger, I often forget that it is not real.

>>17452726
Well what I did was start going to the gym and lifting weights, dressing better, getting leaner, and getting socially competent by emulating successful men in media and in real life. When I did start dating for the first time I did so as if I were playing a character in my own movie. This completely negated the anxiety for me and made the chick I lost ky virginity to cry because she thought I was playing her for sex.

So do that. Then you become a kind of hybrid between your old self and the person you wanted to be and then you can finally bee yourself because you changed yourself.

>>17452774
>>17452787
Not OP but pretty much the same situation.

I see this advice all the time and I just don't think it helps my problem, whatever it may be. Not to imply I don't work on myself, I do, but I just don't think it's the right answer in my case.

Before I started to work on myself there was ONE instance where someone had shown interest in me. Of course I fucked up and never seized the opportunity and it's way too late now. Anyways, this was before I started working on myself because that's what everyone kept telling me to do - but even in doing so, five years later, I still have yet to meet somebody that has shown the faintest sign of interest in me like that one person five years ago.

I guess what I'm trying to say, in my case at least, that OP's described situation is very real. Just a case of bad luck I guess and I'm not sure how to deal with it.

>>17452774
>Try to figure out what is causing you to think this way about yourself.

1.) I don't like rejection
2.) I feel like many of the women who reject me are missing out
3.) I get frustrated and probably entitled because they won't give me what I want

Then I get angry with myself for said entitlement and beat myself up over it. I tell myself all the different ways I suck and why she probably could do better. Lather, rinse, repeat.

I don't know why rejection bothers me so much, outside of the fact that it's all I've known. I have basically been single my whole life. i don't put any real stock into women who "show interest" because I know that they will show "interest" to multiple guys at once and it never means anything, especially since I could still end up with her not liking me anymore.

>If you have somebody you can trust, tell them about how you feel. Good friends will try to build you up, and help you tackle your insecurities and goals
One friend says I dwell on it. The other says I'm fine and just need better self esteem. The third is a girl who says she doesn't understand why I am still single, but she has a boyfriend and is screwing another guy on the side (before anyone suggests I try to hook up with her).

Every female friend or acquaintance I've ever had has shut me down or displayed obvious signs of disinterest in me. I don't really remember the last time anyone desired me. The last date I went on was a complete disaster because she just used me for my car and my money so she could feel better about herself before never speaking to me again.

One thing I notice with guys who are 'good with women' is that they say they love women. I'm not sure how they do it, because women don't ever care about me or give me anything I want, so it's hard to try to love people like that.

>>17452797
Play a character. It works.

Remember in Resoviour Dogs when the cop practices for his undercover role? Do that shit. Hype yourself up. I used to listen to aggressive 2pac songs beforehand.

>>17452797

Going to follow up on my comments here >>17452774

The whole confidence thing was preventing me from putting myself out there. It's the next logical step: don't wait for things to happen or attraction to come to you, seek it out. There are strikeouts, but if you don't swing you lose by default.

If you're looking to get a romantic relationship, I'd recommend going for a legit dating site if none of your social circles lead to anything. I'm talking OKCupid or EHarmony, not Tinder/Grindr. The former allows you to connect on a deeper level, the latter will just ruin your confidence even more if you're objectively unattractive.

>>17452800
My bad, I made it sound like I ask out every single girl. I don't. But of the ones I have asked or wanted to ask out, none of them have been mutually interested. It sucks.

>>17452726
I regularly fall into suicidal depression and wallow in self pity. I cheat on my diet and post depression memes on facebook. Plan how I'm going to kill myself. Tinder for a few days to reinforce my feelings of low sexual worth.

Then for a few hours I get over it and am happy.

As for day to day life I just do my thing. Getting ready for school to start, hanging with friends. The only problem right now is that my parents stubbornly refuse to accept that they will never become grandparents by me, but my siblings instead. My friends have already accepted that I'll always be the ugly, quiet one of the group/

>>17452774
>Try to figure out what is causing you to think this way about yourself.
Looking in the mirror. Weight loss is sticking, but it's slow. By the time I'm /fit/ I'll have already missed out on life.

>>17452810
I don't know, that just makes me think of a post I saw here a few days ago where someone asked how other people found their partner, mentioning how crazy it is when you think that both people have to have a crush on each other at the same time. The probability is just too low.

By actively seeking shit out it feels more like I'm just trying to convince people to like me, more than "putting myself out there."

And what's the difference between shit like OKCupid/EHarmony and Tinder? Way I see it they're pretty much the same except the former is more focused on your profile shit and matching people based on interests, surveys etc. But it still boils down to someone looking at a picture of you and thinking yes or no. But on the other hand I don't think I'm that bad looking, I mean the people that friends, acquaintances, and co-workers have tried setting me up with were pretty good looking so obviously they don't I'm too bad looking. It's just those never happened because I never bothered to pursue it much, mostly after dates getting cancelled last minute because of shit in their lives. Just bad luck.

>>17452800
Rejection is ass, I know how that goes. It can be tough to move on, but you can't let it eat at you. Try a more constructive approach to failures: identify what went wrong, figure out how to avoid making the same mistake, then get yourself back out there as quickly as you can.

Insofar as the "missing out" and entitlement bits go, don't focus on other people or what they "owe you". This might sound conceited, but you have to make yourself your frame of reference. Nobody can provide for you but you, and anyone who fails to see your potential isn't worth your time.

A lot of what you're saying about yourself is a lot like what I was. Don't get caught up in your current situation, realize life does get better, single is only a tax status, and rejection is just a catalyst for a better opportunity.

And two things about your attitude towards women that might help:
1. They aren't much different from you. Admit it, you've mulled about two or more different girls in your head at the same time before, even if you haven't pursued any of them. The only difference for them is, they're the ones getting approached.

2. Expecting women to care about you because of your gender is idiocy. Be interested in them and their lives, use your masculinity as needed. If you need a leg up, again I'd recommend getting on a real dating site because that way you're already on the same page for what you're looking for.

I thought this way for a long time dude, you need to stop. There are literally endless ways to make yourself more desirable but most of the time that's not even the problem. You're too down on yourself that's your main problem.

>used to think women were missing out on me
>realized i'm just a shitter who's worse than strung out meth addicts

I usually just get drunk, that usually helps for a few hours >.>

>>17452830
>And what's the difference between shit like OKCupid/EHarmony and Tinder?

Focus. People on Tinder just want to fuck, no matter what they say in their profile. Some are just less upfront about it than others. On the flipside, OKC/EH are people who aren't about just messing around (typically), and are looking for something more substantial. Looks do matter to an extent, but find yourself a good barber and dress like you go outside more than once a month and you can get yourself a decent profile pic no problem.

Also, don't give up on the first rejection. It's pretty basic but women like being chased (as long as you're not creepy). It's like applying for a job, you aren't going to be selected if you don't stand out. Most people will know by the second date if the relationship is worth their time, so give it until then to give up.

>>17452837
>you can't let it eat at you
I shouldn't, but I do. I'm not sure how to fix it. I do that thing you said where I identify how I went wrong but then I can't stop thinking about it and I go crazy.

>Expecting women to care about you because of your gender is idiocy
I don't expect anyone to care about me because of my gender, i just get disappointed because they don't take interest in me or notice me as more than just a friend. They don't look at me and think "wow this guy is really hot and cool and I'd love to be with him". It's never that. It's never like I'm adding value or leaving an impression.

>be interested in them and their lives
I do do that, but not with them as women. I treat them like guys with boobs since it's the easiest way to ignore my desires and not be reminded of how unappealing I am to them. Then at least I can feel like I don't need their validation to feel good about myself.

>rejection is just a catalyst for a better opportunity
I want that to be true, and I hope you're right.

>>17452850
>There are literally endless ways to make yourself more desirable but most of the time that's not even the problem.
I mean I've worked on things like being more sociable and being less of a dick but it feels like no matter what I do I will always regress into being the same sad fucking loser I've been in the past that's terrible with women and that it'll never get better.

>You're too down on yourself that's your main problem.
Maybe. Thanks man.

>>17452726

You just don't think about it.

Even if you had tons of friends or a grill/boy friend who was madly in love with you; they would just abandon you one day.

Such is life.

>>17452878
Last bit from me before I turn in for the night. It might just be worth it for you to stop trying to get into a relationship for a bit. Just stop thinking about it entirely and work on your personal or career development and aspirations. Pick up a new hobby and take it as far as you can go with it, travel, do something good for you.
One of my bigger regrets is letting this common problem weigh on me and prevent me from achieving more. Now I have the girl but I'm stuck in a job I hate, struggling to save money to go back to college.

Going out and achieving your individual goals is another great way to build self-worth, and doing interesting and adventurous things will make you substantially more interesting when you return to the dating scene.

Final word: don't go burning bridges, but if a girl you like isn't reciprocating, the most important thing is to move on. Don't limit yourself to people you know. Half of romantic relationships originate online for a reason, keep putting yourself out there!

Good luck!

Most people bail when they see my face.

>>17452904
I mean that was the plan originally but I have this constant dread that I will be unable to find somebody. I hope it goes away with time. Thank you for replying to the thread.

OP, you think you deserve the pretty girls. I can get you laid in ONE day, if you follow my advice. Seriously I GUARANTEE you WILL get laid in one day completely consensual.

1.Go to OKcupid
2.Find girl with lots of acne, big and fat
3.Talk to her
4.Meet up
5.Have sex.

Bam OP, you greedy shit, you can't say you're undesirable and have a big pitty party when you're also an asshole who won't fuck anything lower than 6/10

>>17452922

Tried that desu
she used me for a free meal

since i'm p much a numale cuck

>qt adds me on fb
>calls me daddy and shit
>ask her to stop because it's weird
>i think i hurt her feelings

>>17452922
I asked out a girl who was overweight and shit and she rejected me. Two of the women I've had crushes on are overweight but unavailable.

Yeah a pretty or hot girl would be nice but I am not that picky about looks. I like to feel physically attracted but I don't have a specific "type".

>>17452726
Masturbate more

>>17452940
Same here senpai

last woman i asked out was not conventionally attractive but she really had a sweet personality

rejected out of hand

i legit feel bad about it because she stopped going to meetups

For me, I started working on swallowing that pill. It's not easy, and I got pretty depressed at times. You go through stages of being okay and going through deep grief, because relationships are normal and craving affection and love and sex is normal, and not getting those things hurts. I got pretty self abusive, because I hate myself and I hate missing out on those things, but I realized I was being cruel to myself and got to a point where I can think about how shit I am without being an asshole to self about it. Anyways, you get to it after a while, and honestly you only have two choices; accept and deal with it or kill yourself. It may be a long road with lots of pain and crying, but eventually you'll get to one or the other.

There is no better feeling than having your undesirability constantly affirmed.

>>17452998
Maybe if you didn't spend your time on the internet bitching you would be desirable

>>17453000
>says the retarded tripfag

trolling only works when you use a light hand

>>17453007
Your parents should have beat you more

>>17452726
You are going to die one day.

>>17452726

You, together with every loner in this thread, should ask themselves what they have to offer in romantic and sexual terms. If you are an insufferable twat with a bad personality and a couch potato body to boot, why on earth would you think that you are desirable in anyway?

Look first to yourself before you look upon others.

Learning about PUA and red pill game is the best option for you, a lot of men like yourself say, its manipulation and games(or its too much work to satisfy stupid women) but honestly the actions they want you to portray are those of a man with high value, man who has options and awakening of your inner cave man that you've been cheated of because of bad social conditioning.

Here's some good sites to start

https://heartiste.wordpress.com/
http://www.returnofkings.com/

And check out rsd on youtube.

>>17453086

Yes OP what do you offer or you're just a little entitled shitty whiner.

>>17452726
well, I'm an introvert and generally find people to be annoying, boring, and stupid.

I don't know what it's like to be unattractive because I won the genetic lottery and lots of people want to fuck me.

However, like I said, I generally dislike people and have gone months without sex. I'm perfectly happy to go home, read, watch TV, write, and masturbate. I really enjoy it. I usually enjoy masturbation more than sex anyway. And every time I'm in a relationship I wish I were single. Being single is awesome.

Enjoy it.

I just distract myself a lot. I have a personality that people don't want to date. I'm fit and not bad looking... But once people get to know me, they don't want to date me. They just want to be friends. I'm queen of the Friendzone. It's definitely my personality. I used to tell myself that I was just waiting for my proper match. I don't know if that's true or if I'm deluding myself. Sometimes I cry myself to sleep. I feel so empty. If I let my mind wander too long, I end up realizing that at this point my clock is ticking. I'm so done. But I try not to think about it a lot. I want to be happy with myself...

>>17453207
you should try that schtick on /r9k/

>>17453216
No way. I'm female. I've had people hit on me for gods sake and take me on dinner dates downtown then eventually hit me with 'I'm sorry if I led you on I just think we're better as friends. I'm here for you as a friend'. Why would you cuddle with your 'friend'. Then they all still hit on me because they think I'm attractive but I have a weird personality. I don't know, I'm just pissed off and had enough

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>>17453240
>im pissed off someone formed an opinion on me after taking me out

have you considered the fact that you're a bitch at all

>>17453240
Somehow that sounds worse than crushing loneliness. I'd offer my kik but most people take one glance at my profile pic and bail.

I hope things get better for you.

>>17452726
I think it was OP who wrote that he would dress up and emulate a movie character... I hope you let that shit down real quick and hope that it has taught you that self-esteem is not acted out, it is earned.
You gain self-esteem by your own accomplishments. The reason why you feel worthless is because you spend more time looking outside of yourself. Looking to women and to material objects to satisfy your empty void and you forget who you truly are, your desires, ambitions and intrinsic worth.

You have to realize that, yes, we do live in a materialistic and impressionable society. So people will judge you when they look at you. But when you play that game, the game of illusion and story-telling of your own mind, you drain yourself. Your ego becomes inflated, you start to believe your own bullshit and how it is true (but how fragile it is when it is popped). Ego is your true enemy. Yourself is your own worse doing. You also have to learn how to deal with negative thoughts too, push it out and try and think positively... But mainly ego is your enemy here.

It was said earlier in this thread and it's true...: start learning hobbies, learn a language, do the job that you want to do, start exercising regularly, look after yourself.

My first love affair was with this girl in high-school. My second and last love affair is with myself, every day it is a battle but I am slowly learning to love myself. Only then will I learn to love another. Truly love them. Not some superficial love that is over with a puff of smoke.

The thread sure got a lot of replies, and I've read through all of them. I really appreciate the input from all sides, even if I don't end up applying all of it.

I've actually been through RoK, Heartiste and RSD stuff at length along with The Rational Male. They showed me a lot of stuff, and I was applying it, but I let the last couple of rejections get to me too much and it's hurting me.

As to what I have to offer - well I'll be up front I'm not "athletic" and I'm not a huge domineering male.

I know women like to feel a lot of strong emotions but I'm not sure how you do that. I am the type to avoid strong emotions because I don't like the vulnerability. Maybe I should look into changing that.

This video helped me alot, easy way to get out your comfort zone. I really didn't give a fuck when i did this, felt like sex lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dH2W-Dz8tw0

Same boat as OP. I don't think I'm desirable because I'm kind of a dick to some people. I think it's because I say a lot of dark jokes and shit. I've tried getting with girls who society might deem "average" and even they don't want anything to do with me. I'm really starting to believe that girls are being brainwashed about being a princess and the opposite sex needs to be really masculine and whatnot just to get "average" looking girls. I always tell myself that maybe if I go to the gym that maybe that will finally have girls approach me but then I start thinking how kind of fucked up that is. The male has to work 10x harder just to get an average looking girl too? Jesus. Also, I've asked girls that I was interested in (but didn't let them know it) about what they like most about guys and almost all of them threw in having a big dick as one key thing. There was also a girl that I thought was interested in me but she's actually just "really nice" and in actuality, she's only interested in black guys with huge dicks. That one really solidified it for me. If even average girls have really high standards then what's the point anymore? It just sucks that women in this world are the ones that could literally sit back and have dick thrown at them, even "average" looking ones while the male had to go all out just so that MAYBE it would go far. Fuck this.

>>17452726
People are different.
I happen to be autistic and unattractive and I've been used to this for a while now. I realize that I could be inventing excuses for myself but I've been so disinterested in romance/sex and my view of myself is so negative that I feel that I'd be negatively impacting others just by being around them. I'm at peace with it.

>>17452783
This is fascinating.

>>17452783
Seek help

Just work on yourself, the rest will follow. That's what 'game' really is, it's not exactly rocket science

>>17454074
Gym is for your health first and foremost, it helps you manage throughout your day. Stop worrying about if a girl likes you or what she thinks, present to her the real you and if she likes it ok, if she doesn't whatever. Got to be comfortable in your own skin first.

Black guys are typically more confident and not too judgmental/uptight, pretty much no fucks given. Big dicks are very dominant, visually and sexually. The woman can barely grasp it in her hand, it stretches her mouth and she can barely suck the tip and when it inside her it stretches and fills her vag.it makes women feel submissive. It all plays in to dominance and women love that. There's still hope for other men though because good sex is mostly a mental thing and the key thing is DOMINANCE, meaning taking the lead and doing things your way.

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All I get out of the OP is self pity. I've been there and it will do nothing to help your situation. What self respecting woman would want to be with someone who just sulks all day about how nobody wants to fuck him?

Seriously, if you want women to be interested in you you have to be somewhat attractive and guess what? INTERESTING!!! You posting your pathetic sob story on 4chan is not interesting; mountain biking, playing the piano, hiking, traveling, that's interesting.

It's really just about you being in the right environment.

You will be desirable to SOMEONE. We work with colors, and our personalities reflect that onto others, and this is where opposites and equals decide if they are attracted; humans can always make the conscious decision to go against their own nature.

Even if your personality is strictly positive, negative, or just really grey and bland, there are bitches out there who dig that shit. You just have to be in the right environment and be confident in the colors (or lack of) you know you are.

You don't "deal" with it, you change it by whatever means necessary. I'm assuming you're a man, so be thin, grow a beard if you're ugly, get a decent job, and have a functioning penis. Develop a personality.

(((Display confidence))), even if you don't have much.

What do you have to offer to a reltionship OP?

>>17454287
Listening, showing interest in her and her needs, empathy, a sense of humor, and my own personal ambition/drive.

>>17452810
>If you're looking to get a romantic relationship, I'd recommend going for a legit dating site if none of your social circles lead to anything. I'm talking OKCupid or EHarmony, not Tinder/Grindr. The former allows you to connect on a deeper level, the latter will just ruin your confidence even more if you're objectively unattractive.
>Implying online dating sites don't care if you're unattractive

>>17452922
What the hell
But I do everything I can to make myself as attractive as possible.
I'm fit, well groomed, no acne, dress well.
Only my face fucks everything up.
Being fat and covered in acne is one's own choice.

>>17454193
>You will be desirable to SOMEONE. We work with colors, and our personalities reflect that onto others, and this is where opposites and equals decide if they are attracted; humans can always make the conscious decision to go against their own nature.

that sounds like a crock of shit, some people don't get happy endings. People don't just casually change their mind about something out of the blue they fight tooth and nail to justify why they're right and shut things they think are wrong out. Flat earth, religion, science, politics, see how it happens there, happens with people too see politics.