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sorry /adv/, /b/tard here looking for advice
>be me
>21yo manlet 163cm
>no drug/smoke/etc
>live in cucked asia 3rd world country
>being a wageslave since 3 years ago, right after finishing high school
>gain about 200 US$ per month, 30% of them went for my little brother school bill. 30% of them for my their living (my little brother only live with mom. mom is divorced since 2000)
>the rest is for my living, food/transport/paying house rent bill
>barely alive, dead inside. can eat 2 times a day is luxury
>2013
>le innocent me start working on factory that require machine operating
>work 14hour a day on lathe machine
>suddenly a year almost passed
>late 2014 got fired, the company need to cut budget, actually many of us got fired
>ohshit.jpg
>no idea what to do, back to mom house but not say anything about work
>tell lies about taking long vacation so mom wont panic
>desparately seeking for another job asap
>after 2 week got call from same company which fired me to back to work
>niggawhat.jpg
>agree back to work, just different placement area
>somehow they not ask me to sign contract
>still got paid so i dont give a damn about contract
>all workmate in male
>now work on sketching/nesting
>sometimes work for exporting dwg to nc
>barely talk except for work stuff
>on spare time spent for playing gaymes, wandering in local internet forum or lurking in 4chan, start watching animeme
>pretty comfy till fire nation attacking
>>
>2016
>in early year more new employee hired
>unlike me, they're from college. some of them even from germany college
>one of them is a girl
>after a month suddenly she ask me to go out with her
>i reject her with respect, i know my place
>never have thought for kind of relationship like that
>she got angry and start messing around
>telling other coworker if basically i'm a bad and retarted guy
>from time to time they believe this girl and start setting distance from me
>still self bluepilling if everything is okay
>start used to be alone, more intense on internet
>eventually stressed out, start doing unusual stuff
>hacked wifi router, got web access and telnet, at last got cctv access
>start needing high dosage of coffe every morning and need to listen hitler speech several times to feel lively
>laugh alone at stupid joke and dank memes
>sometimes having suicidal feeling
>once tried sucide rate quiz, got highest chance to commit suicide and the web advicing for me to avoid being alone
>>
>>17450914
>today
>manager tell we need to talk
>ohshit.jpg
>turn out my contract wont extended and my work only till this month
so /adv/ i will start my work career from zero again
how come one girl can mess up my life only because i reject her?. i often saw her dating different guy in a week and personally i think she is not wife material, is my way reject her like this is correct?
now i start think all girl is scary as fuck, i have no more interest on them, i have no self esteem anymore because of this
is there anything to make life better? for now at least i have several week to prepare seeking job again
do subhuman like me deserve to live any longer?, as far i can thought only i need to work again during next 2 years till my little brother finish his school and i just gonna helium myself
help me /adv/, i feel like shit right now and has no idea what to do
>>
>is my way reject her like this is correct?
Yes. She is probably just a spoiled, vindictive girl that's not used to get "no" as an answer. Her behaviour was deplorable, but that doesn't mean every girl will be like that. Didn't you try to tell anyone the truth? What did she say about you?
>do subhuman like me deserve to live any longer?
it's not your fault if your life is like it is! You're not a subhuman. And nobody "deserves" to live, they just do.
Sadly i dunno what advice to give because i too am a half-suicidal fucker here. You should just know that you're stronger than you think you are and that you can probably still have nice experiences in your life. Maybe you've got to leave that area and move somewhere else, i dunno.
>>
damn, OP, you've been through a lot more than most faggots complaining on 4chan. Please dont helium yourself. What kind of opportunities do you have in your country with your current education? Have you thought about working in another country and supporting your family from there?
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