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Tonight my girlfriend and I fought over something stupid. We

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Tonight my girlfriend and I fought over something stupid. We were planning on seeing Bad Moms, which I wasn't super excited to go see, but I decided we would go later this week and so we decided to see Nerve today. A coworker asks me why I didn't want to see Bad Moms with my girlfriend (my girlfriend was obviously texting her about it) and was going on about how she'll take my girlfriend to the movies. Mind you, they talk a lot, they're both bi, and this other girl is struggling in her relationship. I told her no, I was going to take her to see it, and then she walks off saying, "I'll take your girlfriend."

Anyway, I get a text from my girlfriend saying that they're going to go see the movie and I completely flip my shit. Firstly, I didn't like how we had agreed to see the movie together (she's sat through enough of my movies that she didn't want to see so I wanted to spend time with her seeing a movie that I didn't necessarily want to see because it's fair, and I figured that it doesn't look half bad and I might enjoy it). I'm also mad because this girl, who I told not to ask my girlfriend, goes and completely disregards the fact that I told her we were going to see it.

Anyway, my girlfriend didn't understand why I was angry over the situation and eventually it got to the point where I exploded and started saying some pretty ruthless shit to her. This is the first time it had happened, but my girlfriend has seen me explode on other people for reasons that actually matter.

Anyway, I'm not sure there's anything I can say to her that would make her feel better. I realize it was a dick thing to do, regardless if I was right or wrong, and saying the shit I said isn't stuff you should say to your significant other. What should I at least try to do to make the situation better? She was breaking down in the movie she's seeing with her sister right now and I feel pretty awful.
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Stop being such a controlling prick. How old are you? Adults don't argue over shit like this because it's pointless to fucking argue about.
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You apologise for being such an asshole. You also need to be aware of the possibility that things might never be the same between you again though. She's seen you lose your shit at her and now she might fear for her safety in the future, and I don't blame her to be honest
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yeah my bf and I have gotten into some pretty bad fights, heres how to fix it; make sure both of you are calmed down, talk about it and make a sincere apology, and then have some nice makeup sex
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>>17449503
See that's the thing, it was fucking petty. I'd normally just let this fly by and I don't even have a problem with her doing things with other people, but I think I went off due to stress. Apartment was broken into two days ago, my entire pay check and more went into car repairs, and some other shit.

I think stress got the better of me and I took my aggravation out on her.
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>>17449497
>the shit I said isn't stuff you should say to your significant other

Oh don't worry, she won't be your significant other for long. I would have already dumped your ass but she is probably thinking about it now and will do it later at some point.
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>>17449511
If that's how you handle stress, you'd no longer be my boyfriend if I were her.
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>>17449511
Not saying it was right by any means. That's why I'm on here asking because I tried talking to her and she ignored me (not like I was expecting anything else but I had to try).

Do I give her space then make it up to her when she calms down or take action ASAP?
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>>17449511
>I think stress got the better of me and I took my aggravation out on her.

This the kinda of excuse people use to beat their wives, kill yourself OP before you hurt some woman.
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>>17449511
You need to buy her ass some flowers, take her to a movie of her choice, and try not to be a dick for a night
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>>17449516
>>17449514
Nah. My usual handling of stress is just getting over it. Like I've been having a lot of home problems and issues with finances not being able to go back to school and in all the time we've been going out we've never had a situation like this. Fought? Sure, but it was like a no big deal thing and we forget about it. This is like the first real shitty thing I've done and I'm wanting like actual advice.

If I didn't care Id be justifying what I did was the right thing and not swallow my pride.
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>>17449532
>If I didn't care Id be justifying what I did was the right thing and not swallow my pride.
>I think stress got the better of me and I took my aggravation out on her.

Okay... right... keep telling yourself that.
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>>17449532
You did get advice: try to be he best goddamn bf, and best-case scenario she'll stay with you out of pity or fear. She knows who you are now.

There's no defense for being a dick. Whether she breaks up with you or not, try focusing on becoming a better person.
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anon, you must control yourself at all times. there are plenty of men who control women via intimidation/anger/physical violence. that's the weak way out.

you must first control yourself.

then, you will be in a position to control your gf, with reason and assertiveness.

did you specifically tell her not to see the movie with this other chick? or was she supposed to figure out that you didn't want her to do that?

if the latter, you fucked up. your gf cannot guess what your expectations are until you've established a pattern of expectations.

if you made it clear to her ahead of time you didn't want her doing this, and then she did it anyway, then you have a valid reason for being angry - and this situation should only partially be about you not managing anger properly. do not let that overshadow your legitimate reason to be upset.

you cannot control this random other chick you work with. why the hell would you think you could?

you can control your gf though. if she doesn't respect your clearly stated wishes, on matters that are important to you, you should end the relationship.
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>>17449535
>saying he fucked up
>saying why he fucked up

I see no issue here.
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>>17449516

Christ, people make mistakes. Have you never said something you've regreted before? Never been angry at someone? Those things don't make you an abuser. He's obviously trying to make amends.

>>17449514

If a single fight, even if he's totally in the wrong, is enough to convince you to break up with your boyfriend then I seriously doubt that the relationship has any substance. A constant issue with him flipping out? Definitely, break up. But one time, or even just infrequently? Get over yourself.
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>>17449497
OP, no real advice from me. Just wanted to say that the other anons saying "you got angry so you're an abuser" is complete horseshit. What you did definitely was not good, but you're obviously trying to fix it if you can. Just don't listen to them.
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>>17449642
>If a single fight, even if he's totally in the wrong, is enough to convince you to break up with your boyfriend then I seriously doubt that the relationship has any substance. A constant issue with him flipping out? Definitely, break up. But one time, or even just infrequently? Get over yourself.
>my girlfriend has seen me explode on other people for reasons that actually matter
It's not the first time OP has displayed the ability to lose his shit at someone. The fact that he'd do this to her, and over something so stupid, rooted in stress that she wasn't the cause of, would cause anyone to be worried. You're absolutely delusional if you think that what OP did was okay just because he'd never done it before.
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>Your gf is going on a first date with someone else, canceling plans with you in the process

You have literally every reason to be angry. Fuck what these people are saying.
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>>17449683
>first date
Where did you get this?
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>>17449672
Never did I say that it was okay. It was a shitty thing to do, for a shitty reason. But it's highly unlikely to be something worthy of a break-up, unless the relationship is bad/very new, like I said.
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>>17449687

>Someone of a sexually compatible gender and orientation asks your girlfriend to the movies
>She says yes, canceling her plans to go with her boyfriend

Imagine if it were a man. It doesn't matter that it's a woman if they're both fucking bi.

Christ.
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>>17449708
By that logic, a bisexual person can never go to the movies with anyone of either gender, because it's a date?
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>>17449714

It has to be compatible both ways, but I love your evasion.

How is it not the same scenario as a guy asking your girlfriend to the movies?
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>>17449720
>How is it not the same scenario as a guy asking your girlfriend to the movies?
Because it's possible to just be friends? I have friends, a guy and a girl, who are 100% platonic friends and do things like go to the movies and hang out at each other's houses just fine. Just because two people are each other's sexually preferred gender, doesn't mean that they will bone, without exception.
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>>17449714

Differwnr anon here.

Well, theoretically, yes. At least it has the potential to be a date.

I'm not agreeing that it is necessarily one. But if a guy invites another guys girlfriend out to a movie with just them two alone for example, it'd undoubtedly be seen as kinda suspicious, depending on the context. This situation really isn't any different, if their orientations line up.

And yes, people should be allowed to have friends of any gender/sexuality. There's still limits, though.
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>>17449733
Sure, there's potential for it to be a date. But there's nothing in OP's post that indicates that it was. That's what I'm saying. Just because OP's gf and this other girl both like to get with girls, doesn't mean they can't hang out platonically either.
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>>17449748

>disregard suspicion
>disregard a violation of stated requests and boundaries
>coworker somehow has his gf's number
>gf ignores the same boundary

This doesn't ring alarm bells?
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>>17449683
this

and its understandable that you'd be angry, you were countermanded by your coworker and it was supported by your girlfriend. Sure, it wasn't a great idea to blow up at her, (because despite all this it's not like your girlfriend was an accomplice to your coworker's fuckery, just ignorant) but they both made you look like an impotent faggot and you deserved to be annoyed. But exploding was exactly the wrong reaction.

I would tell her you're unhappy because the unspoken truth here is that she doesn't value the plans you make very highly. If she did she wouldn't brush you off for an interloping coworker. I have to be careful when I make plans with my GF, for example, because she will literally cancel anything and everything else she is doing and plan around me, without telling me. I would do the same, to some degree. Why isn't it like that for you? Why do you not deserve that?

Also, enter the fact that you'd like her back when a coworker pulls shit like that.
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>>17449683
This.

Bisexual women and especially lesbians are often the worst kind of scheming, partner stealing home breaking cunts. Never trust a lesbian, ever.

t. male gay anon
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>>17449497
>girlfriend wants to take you to see a movie
>boyfriend (You) can't make up his mind if he'd even sit through it for her sake
>friend says she'll take her since seeing it would be such a burden for your indecisive uncommitted ass
>girlfriend decides to spend time hanging with her friend who did express interest, and spare you from sitting through something you didn't really want to watch

You exploded over a movie you didn't even want to see it in the first place. You were mad at her friend, and took it out on her. What could have happened between them.

Did you think they were going to start scissoring in the theater? Apologize. Then give her some time, and think about how you can prevent this from happening in the future (if you still have a relationship).

Yes, her sexually compatible friend was being dismissive of you, and it was rude to change plans without speaking to you, but she (Your girlfriend), only had good intentions. You took those intentions, pissed on them, and made her cry in front of everyone because you were insecure, and couldn't control your emotions.

It is UNDERSTANDABLE, why you are angry, but remember who you are angry with. If you really trusted her, you wouldn't have to worry about her scheming friend.
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>>17449748
>>17449757

It's a weird situation, he expressed that he did not want them to go out together. Plus, his gf cancelled plans with him to go with this other girl.

I think there's plenty of indication that it could be a date. And OP isn't helping by driving his gf away from him, but that's a different argument.
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>>17449497
>hey anon want to go see-
>Idk nah it's not really my thing it looks meh
>oh, okay
>Uhh I mean let me think about it... I'll tell u sometime between 9 and 6 this week if I make up my mind
>my boyfriend doesn't want to see MOVIE with me, want to have a girls night out?
>sure that sounds like fun, it'll give us a chance to catch up and talk about PLATONIC GIRL ISSUES, and he just stared at me blankly when I asked anyway
>OMG you WHORE I was SO planning to go with you WTF Fucking SLUT
>wtf y are u crying you betrayed my feelings you dumb bitch how could you CANCEL these PLANS I WAS DEVOTED TO with YOUR LESBIAN FRIEND u CARPET MUNCHER
Thread posts: 33
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