Just went through a break up with the girl that I thought I wanted

Easy for me to say, but you know, just gotta move on and work on improving yourself.

Me personally I probably would not take her back because she's already moved on - girls tend to do this faster than men for some reason.

You on the other hand will go through a crippling depression for months. Don't do that.

Just work on other stuff and if she comes back maybe she'll have realized what she lost (you never know what you've got til it's gone). By then hopefully you'll have moved on.

There's plenty of fish in the sea and I know that's just a saying, but it's true. You may stumble into someone even better.

Good luck anon.

>>17447773
Breakups are tough. But you need to realise the relationship is over. Its in the past. Look to the future, your own future as an individual. Moping isn't going to get you anywhere.

>>17447786
Seeing her or hearing about her with other guys is absolutely a devestating blow.
I mean, I can't even think about being with another girl right now.
My mind is racing back and forth of shit like just move on a get with other girls. It's honestly not going to be that hard. But on the other hand I don't know if I can make myself do this.

And I KNOW without going into paragraphs of explaining on why I know this, but I know she is going to come back.
But I know it will be too late. Even if I still care I know it will be too late.
i have too much pride to go back to someone after a year that did that to me just to be "single"
I did absolutely everything for her, and though we fought sometimes we worked out so well. She's going to realize this and it's going to be too late.

I don't want it to be too late, that's why I tried to convince her to at least talk, not be together again, but to at least see where it takes us.
She said no, because she will still be going to parties and dates and she knows it will hurt me and she doesn't want to know what I do because it will hurt her too.

I tried. At least I won't regret not trying at the end.
It's still just so hard.

>>17447801
I can do that. I have high ambitions. I have confidence in myself with school, work, and even getting other girls.
I'm just not interested in anyone else right now.

I plan so far ahead in life. And she was in them.
Just not having her there to do simple things, like move in to my new apartment, like I was there for her to do it when she moved into hers at her old school.

Or when we would drive up and visit my mom together, doing that without her is so different.
It's like a major left turn in my life.

>>17447820
>i have too much pride to go back to someone after a year that did that to me just to be "single"

Good for you anon. I'm sure you'll get through this. They say time is the best healer.

>>17447820
>>17447824

Plans change all the time. It's good that you're planning ahead, but you know nothing can be perfect.

Moping around isn't gonna do anything. It's just gonna take time, but do your best not to think about it because it's just gonna hurt you in the end.

>>17447826
Some back story to that.
In high school she was with her boyfriend before me, broke up with him for me, got with me for a month and regret it. Went back to her ex.
In a month I was doing fine without her.
This was middle of junior year. By the middle of senior year I was with anothe girl already.

She broke up with her ex again and started trying to talk to me, I ended up breaking up with my girlfriend(she wasn't that great anyways, always acted slutty and after we broke up she went wild. I'm glad I broke it off with her)
But the thing is, I went back to her after a year even though she dropped me.

What made it easier is she was only with that one guy in the process. They had already had sex before me anyways, so it's not like more damage could be done.
And I was over it so quick.

But this time is different. I'm scared she will get around. She's not the slutty type, but 3 dates already! I see where this is heading.

I'm scared I won't be as strong as my words are right now, because in a year I will get over everything... I don't want her back after she gets around and realizes that I was the best she ever had.
Hell, I took care of everything for her financially.
She did so much fun, expensive shit because of me.

I don't know where I was headed with this. But this has happened before, and I took her back.
It wasn't as bad the first time. But it happened.

>>17447840
Things might get easier when I get to university and start having a blast.
But right now I can't help but check up on her social media like 10 times a fucking day.
I don't know if I'm looking for something to make me get over her faster. But all it does is make me mad, then hurt, then I just start feeling for her and thinking again.

>>17447844
How do you know shes been on three dates? Whatever the answer is, cut off that line of communication. Block her on social media, don't ask around about her. Shut her out completely. Its her life now she can do what she wants with it. Similarly you can do what you want. Is moping about her what you want to do? No, I didn't think so.

It's typical for a relationship to split from high school to college. Just focus on yourself and your studies and try not to look back.

As for her, she gave you the typical excuse for wanting to experiment on campus and get her back blown out. She just didn't want to hurt your feelings.

>>17447857
Because she just called me asking me if she can give me my stuff back, including the ring.

I figured, even though she broke up with me. I should at least give one last try to chase something I love.
I would regret it in the future if I feel like if I didn't tell her how I felt and still cared. But she shut it down and through talking she told me she has been on 3 dates.

We don't talk at all, that was only for my stuff back.
If I block her on social media I feel like I still will think about her as she is the one for me. But if I see shitty things she is doing on social media then it will HURT bad, but it might help me get over her.

I also am still logged into her shit too, I don't know if that's shitty or not lol

>>17447860
Kinda of a rough thing to think about this early, but appreciate the response and honesty.

>>17447863
Nah man, you're under the illusion of action. Nothing you do will change the situation. Stop yourself from checking on her, block her from contacting you and move on with your life. It's hard but you'll be all right.

>>17447874
Alright, what's the illusion of action?
I really have no idea what you mean by that, I'm sorry.

>>17447773
First, there isn't a man or woman alive that hasn't had someone end it and then have to deal.

Second, she's not coming back but only just beginning her life without you and for her she's having the time of her life.

File: say it, give your best unasked advice.jpg (51KB, 513x277px) Image search: [Google]

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>>17447773
this happens so fucking many times anon! I was in a veery simular situation 6 years ago. I'm now back together with my highschool love. and one of my friends is now starting to get back together with his'.
I kinda know stuff about this.

the only reason that ex ex-couple won't get back together, is when the guy gets so upset that he starts to do stupid things.


here's what you should do: discover yourself, go out with other grils, even if you say you don't want that (after a while you need sex).
she's doing the exact thing.

she doesn't want to tie herself without knowing the world, she wants to experience, and you should do that too. even if it's hard.


just try to become like realy attractive, so she'll want you back.
it's realy fucking simple, but not easy.

i'd like to explain alot more to you about this, but I need some time to formulate it for you.

>>17448004
>she'll want you back
doesn't happen

>>17447773
she is lost to you, anon
i know it sucks, but if you take her back after this you will be among the least respectable, least desirable tier of men

>>17448043
Ha I bet she will
Give it time, she will come easing her way back into my life.

>>17448057
By the time she comes back, she will have already gotten around. I don't think I'll want her back.

>>17448004
Thanks for the well thought response.
I plan on doing my own things, I have lots of plans for life and I can't live with myself if I don't fufull them.
With or without her.

>>17448004
Also, I would appreciate if you have more to add.

>>17448004
cuck

>>17447820
Been in a somewhat similar spot, though with probably a less stable woman. My only advice if you truly want to end up together, literally stop reaching out. 100%. You must start ASAP or it will not work. If she calls you first or texts first, respond, but make zero attempts to contact her. It sounds too simple and you've probably heard it before, but for whatever fucking reason it works. Ittl piss her off that you're not crazy for her all of a sudden, or at least ittl see that way.

>>17448120

>she will come easing her way back into my life.

Americuck?

She wants to fuck Chad's at her new school, that is why she dumped you. However she probably isn't attractive or maybe ugly and that's why she is trying to fall back on you for additional emotional support.

Don't take her back, but you sound like you came here to just hear what you want.

>>17448004
IGNORE THIS SHIT

Do not do anything with her in back of your mind. Do shit for you. Work on yourself for you. Sure maybe in five years y'all might end getting back together, but that is irrelevant now. You start "becoming attractive" for her, or working hard at school "for her", you're only prolonging the pain, trust me I was in the same boat as you.

Focus on yourself, having fun, doing well in college, just living life. Block her on social media and don't bring her up to your friends, it'll be hard at first, but it'll get easier in the long run. Don't worry about dating for awhile, it took me over a year to get start again, but that's partially bc I was an idiot who pined after her for too long and wallowed in self pity. Don't do that shit it's a waste of time and changes nothing. Sure, every once in awhile you might need a night in and a few beers to forget, but don't let it affect your daily life.

tldr don't chase after her, don't stalk her social media, go out live life and cry behind closed doors every once in awhile if you need to until you get over her

Stop talking to her and move on. You'll grieve over the break up for a few years, but try not to think about her, distract yourself.

>>17448299
I couldn't say it better.
>You are the love of my life babe but I just want to try out like at 30 different cocks while I go to college and start university.
>Now that we're back together you can fully trust me babe

>>17448312
>>17448338
>>17448333
I'm not going to reach out to her, I'm not going to talk to her unless she talks to me.
It's over in my mind now but I still care so much. Seeing her do this shit, it's going to be hard. Really hard.
But I don't really have any options.

>>17448318
Ehhh, she's pretty attractive.
Blonde, blue eyes, softball player.

Definitely not ugly.

just imagine her taking a ride on the cock carousel. your tour is over boyo. sorry mate it is what it is, she already found someone else

>>17447773
You were something like 12 years old when you got together. It would be very odd if you did not drift apart as adults, since it is rare for people to grow up in parallel. Her life has taken this course while your life took that one, so it is perfectly natural that she wants this and you want that

>>17448383
And you're going to care for awhile. It's normal to grieve over a lost relationship, just keep yourself distracted and keep moving along, that's what key. Seriously though delete her off social media. It's going to do nothing but hurt you

>>17447773
>My problem is, I feel a point of no return coming
If she said she wanted to be single, dated other guys and wants to return your things, then that ship has sailed a long, long time ago.

If you do get back together, she will tell you that she is sorry, that she realises you are the only guy for her and how absence made her fonder of you, she might even offer sexual favours on demand or something to sweeten the deal.
In reality she will feel bad that she got fucked and chucked, you will be the backup and she knows she can fall back on you when the can't get instant gratification from guys whose genitals she hasn't seen yet.
What happens next? you repeat the process or you break up for good, you will be jealous of her dating every guy who smiled at her and she will use it against you at some point because she knows it hurts you.

I was with my ex for over 5 years, I get how you feel, but believe me it is better to just let it go.
She has dated way more than 3 guys, she has probably fucked them too, she probably did things she never would with you because she enjoyed being in the moment and knowing she probably wont see the guy again.

She has given you an out, get your stuff, don't try and be romantic or dramatic, don't try and get the last word in about how you will miss her or always love her a bit, don't give her a letter.
Cut all contact, block her on every social media platform you have, change your phone number and pick up a new hobby to keep yourself occupied, save half the money you would have spent on her, spend the other half on your new hobby and yourself.
Oh, and bin your pictures and little token gifts, keep a couple that mean a lot, prom pictures, special occasions, but get rid of the rest, you don't need reminders of the 5 years, you only need proof of the good bits.

Good luck and god speed Anon.

OP here, to everyone saying delete her off social media.

Look, I know how she is. She will come running back. If I don't know the shitty things she has done, even though they hurt, I will still think of her as the same great girlfriend.

But if I don't see these shitty things, I'm scared it will take me longer to get over her. Instead of ripping the bandaid off.

I don't know. I KNOW it is going to hurt when I see it. But somehow I feel like me knowing will show me I never want to be with her again.

If this is a bad idea, please let me know.

>>17447773
Stop being a faggot. Find a new woman. She wasn't as into you as she thought she was.

>>17448823
Bump this question.
Thanks.