for a long time now i've gotten into this pattern where

Are you me?
Dont have an answer since im in the same boat.

Bump

I was literally like that not to long ago.
My girlfriend basically had to leave me cause of that and some other relationship issues, but noetheless still did the same as you right before she broke upcwith me.

What got me through it was the change of enviroment. If you cant change your environment, start doing abstract stuff that you wouldnt normally do or try. Keep your mind and self busy. Eventually you will find yur nitch and it will get better for you. It will take time and effort on your part.

>>17445205
Also to add to this.

Start doing something that you wouldnt normally do. Keep doing it even if you feel uncomfortable, eventually you will have done it so much that it becomes second nature. It helps transition you into a new routine and make it easier to enjoy picking up new hobbies. Then the socialization will gradually come back. By then you should have a better perspective on your old self. And will try to avoid getting into that state of mind with better success.

Dude, that's exactly like me, but instead of wasting money on amazon shit, I waste it on sushi/pizza.

I don't think I'm a smartass, but I know a lot of stuff and you know that saying "The more you know, the sadder you become"?
That phrase is exactly my problem.

Sometimes I think I would have a happier life if I was a gym rat, going to the beach, drink, party, but then again, maybe I'm thinking that way because I never did those things, so I think it's better than my situation, it might be, or not.

If I think about changing? Every single day.
But then it's 18:00 and it's time to go home, eat and sleep to wake up for the next day.

It's the alcohol. My older brother was in the same boat. He's an alcoholic, and last year he was so depressed that he binged almost everyday. Near to the point where his flesh started getting yellow-ish, and he started smelling of rot.

Drinking needs to stop OP.

>>17445008
Stop drinking, start exercising

Yep, it's the alcohol. Instead of kicking the anti depressant you should have kicked the alcohol.

My life was in absolute turmoil. I was drinking every night. I was tired and angry all day. I would go home and shut myself away in my office drinking. My wife came home to find our daughter crying with toothache. She never came to me. What's the point? He's angry and drunk all the time. I had no social life and no interest in life.

Wife comes and finds me and we have a huge argument. I walk out. Angry. Of course.

Two months later...

Started counselling after first week. Bought some books on mindfulness and CBT. Bought some more books on the subject. Bought even more books. See counsellor every week. Stopped drinking in first week.

I go to the gym five evenings a week to break the time habit of drinking in the evening. I spend my free time visiting public art galleries and stately homes. Lots of both in the UK and cost very little.

I meditate twice daily. I practice relaxation and mindfulness anytime.

My life has turned around completely. Instead of fretting and worrying about shit I just think "fuck it, it's a beautiful day I'm going to do something wonderful" so I drove two hours to walk on a beach and watch the sun set. I've woken early and gone for a walk in the park.

My wife still loves me. She can't believe the change in me. My daughter is still very cautious. I speak to my wife every morning and evening and working towards seeing my daughter and explaining none of this was her fault and she has every right to be cautious.

We will get back together soon. All of us.

Life is amazing if you can just take a moment to see it.