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Firstly I want to say for the first 3 years of my relationship i have never acted or had reason to feel insecure in my relationship.
However recently I have shown a really insecure side of myself to my girlfriend and it's making me sick and has been bothering me a lot. About a month ago she thought she wanted to break things off after 3 years together because she was unsure of her life but quickly changed her mind on the matter and remains adamant she wants to be with me, she claims it was more to tell me about her feelings and better our communication then to actually break up. I took it pretty badly and felt sadness for about a week despite us staying together, every now and then i get fleeting insecure thoughts since this occurred which i usually brush away, I know she has picked up on this and constantly reassures me without me saying anything, but recently i noticed she felt a bit cold and distant for only a matter of days, i panicked and over analysed everything and sent her a massive message basically saying how i dont think i make her happy any more and other insecure shit, i was hoping either she would comfort me or break up with me so i would at least have an answer, but she just got really annoyed saying how she has felt like she is constantly trying to prove herself to me and show me how much she loves me and shes been constantly worried about my thoughts and insecurity since a month ago when we nearly broke up.
I regret sending that message really badly and don't know what to do from here, we have moved on for now and I apologised about it and told her it was because our almost break up was still fresh in my mind but that i would try to move on from it and feel secure.
I just feel like less of a man for showing this side of myself to her, and dont want her to have lost respect for me, insecurity is such a strange feeling.
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If youre taking a break from the relationship give her some space, more than likely she'll come back, give it one month let her live her life and you live yours, if you can't take it, go get her back, she'll more than likely be feeling the same way. You can't constantly show her that side, it's annoying, same if she were to constantly want to hear it from you. Play the good ol' "away game" quit being up her ass and she'll come crawling back i promise
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>>17442571
We're not taking a break, we're just moving on from here, i've promised myself im never doing anything like this again and any time i feel insecurity building im going to ignore it because i know its me being stupid. I guess all thats really bothering me now is that I showed such a pathetic side of myself to the person i want to spend the rest of my life with, i dont want her to think any less of me.
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>>17442506
I think you are justified in feeling insecure in the relationship because she started this shit by wanting to break up. That would take anyone time to feel secure again and it's bullshit for her to lose patience when it's her fucking fault. Lesson for you OP is you do need to toughen up and stop letting this piece of shit you call a gf play with you like this.
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Aw it'll be all good homie, don't sweat a thing, I was just confused on what you meant by moving on thats all. If somethings honestly bothering you, you've got to tell her, being honest is key, just don't over do it and be pushy, I'd be annoyed as hell if my gf did that to me everyday, it's just another bump in the road, I'm sure it'll be smooth sailing for a bit, people in relationships fight sometimes, EVERY one does and i can't stress that enough, its healthy, have some make up sex and be happy for a while lol
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>>17442606
>>17442611
That was really nice thank you, I agree she is the reason i feel this way and i have told her it hasnt been that long and im still building back the trust so in the mean time i'm trying my best, but because she has felt that i was feeling this way anyway and constantly trying to reassure me because she can sense i'm a bit off sometimes it has caused her to become overwhelmed because nothing she feels shes trying is working, i think its just a time thing and not anything specific she can do.
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>>17442628
again, she caused this and one month is not long. She shook a 3 year relationship to it's core. It doesn't sound like you are punishing her or being a dick just being human.
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