I rarely orgasm when i sleep with the bf. Maybe once out of 20

I meant i cum once out of 20 times he tries to get me off. Not that he only tries once out of 20 times we fuck.

Convince him to give oral more often. Do you give oral to him? Blowing him often would make him feel more at ease about doing it more for you.

>>17440681
That's entirely not the point. He gives me oral almost every time and he's pretty good at it. It's NOT a problem of technique. It's like winning the lottery if i cum from oral. I do, and the times i do he hasn't done anything different than the times i don't.

>>17440673
The way you like to touch your self can help the relationship... I guess...

>>17440709
Really a mental problem. I can't cum with him even if i do it myself. Not even a vibrator helps

Welp. You realize it's a mental block so what's the block?

>bf
What is this, a girl problems forum?! REEEEEEEEEEE!

>>17440728
That's what i don't know. I'm trying to find out but i feel like i'm fishing in the dark. What are common mental blocks that prevent orgasms and more importantly, how do i deal with them?

>>17440730
>tfw no qt robot to be in an unhealthy relationship with

>>17440730
fuck off neet dont scare them away

>>17440721
Just to be clear: can you cum when you masturbate alone?

>>17440733
Worrying about not orgasming is a big one.
Really worrying about too much about anything can impact sex. Are you having fun at all? If so, just enjoy the moment.

>>17440766
Yes

>>17440783
I'm aware and try not to, but it's not easy. Is there someting i can do besides "try to relax"? We all know that never works

It's not really a thing you can resolve on your own.Talk to a sex therapist, they help people with a variety of sexual problems.

>>17440816
They seem like a huge scam. I tried to find one i think is competent, but they all talk about sex in such a weird, stuck up way that i feel like they can help you when you have problems with sex that are easily resolved because you have never tried anything. Seems like they are geared towards an entirely diffetent generation. Also, most rely on "alternative" therapy which seems ultra fishy to me. Every one lists shit like balancing your meridians and such. They cost a fuck ton. I'm not going to shill out 250 bucks for an email in which they tell me that i need my aura cleansed.
If i find a no bullshit therapist, i'll gladly pay for them to help me, but not like that

>>17440834
There are definitely quacks out there. I'm talking about an actual licensed doctorate having therapist who will try to resolve your problem through actual therapy and not aligning your chakras or something. It seems like there may not be a lot in your area though.

>>17440847
I tried to find some of those, but even the official ones have some new age sheit going on. I feel pretty alone because i don't trust them to be able to help me when they buy into crap like that

>>17440852
Yeah I've heard that sex therapy can be a mixed bag. You can try to work out your issue through a regular therapist though, although I'm sure that would be just as expensive as well. I'm sorry there doesn't seem to be a "go to" option for this sort of thing, I share a lot of the same problems and know what it feels like for whatever that's worth.

Honestly, le reddit has some pretty good subs for things like this. Try r/deadbedrooms or maybe the girl specific sub two chromosomes or whatever.

>>17440865
I do go to therapy but although she's a good one, she really sucks at anything sex. Oh well... I was just hoping for some pointers or even reading suggestions to unfuck my mind

>>17440869
Guess i'll have a look. Thanks for the rec. Bit worried it's all feminists ranting about male opression and muh gender identity

>>17440673
I could never cum and I knew I had a mental block too. I was sexually abused as a child and I knew that was the reason why.

I did go to therapy. But even after feeling better and at peace with what happened to me, I still couldn't experience heightened sexual pleasure. When I got to a certain point, I just started feeling complete shame, I'd have fashbacks of what happened, and usually end up crying. So I didn't even bother trying to cum for like years after I started having sex.

So I hadn't been dating for a few years, then I met someone and I didn't want to blow it with my terrible abuse story. I still went to therapy but it wasn't helping me have a physical orgasm.

I eventually just tried masturbating a bunch of ways until I found out what gets me off. When I started feeling like I was going to panic, I just tried to chill out and push away the bad intrusive thoughts until it worked. It was a long process. Took like 2 years into relationship with bf for him to give me a clitoral orgasm and it took a while for us to regularly achieve this. Just recently (been together years now) we barely discovered I squirt.

Now it's just, we know what buttons to press. I've gotten really comfortable and trustworthy.

Maybe sex just isn't for you.

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>>17440673
Maybe that your so bad a sex that you can't even make your self cum. It really makes you think

>>17440982
i don´t think so

>>17440992
i can make myself cum. just not with others around

>>17441004
how is that related to my issue? you mean that if i worry about it it won´t work anyways? well, it´s kind of hard to just stop worrying over something...

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Not op but
I can only cum from oral or a vibrator. Not at all if I'm getting fucked and i have had all different sizes of cock!/dildos. I think I dissapoint my new boyfriend sadly.

>>17441102
same boat. i wouldn´t even care but it´s taking a toll on my bf.

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>>17441185
>>17441102

The Blood God rewards me for my ceaseless carnage

Fucking sluts lmao

>>17441205
why would that make me a slut?

what is happening mentally that is preventing an orgasm?

>>17441208
Cause your pussy is so blown out you cant cum like a normal human bieng

>>17441212
can you?

>>17441213
I can cum from anal and hypnotic suggestion also during dreams

I am the cum master

>>17441211
i´ve tried to pinpoint it but i can´t capture it. i just know that my clit suddenly doesn´t feel shit anymore or it doesn´t feel good to begin with. probably a mixture of insecurity and anxiety

>>17441217
post wemb or didn´t happen

>>17441224
My ass is kinda sore from rushing putting in/taking out my new tailplug so that'll have to wait ;)

>>17441226
noob

>>17441228
Its my first plug fuck off

>>17441233
MEGA NOOB

>>17440733
Learn to let go and relax more often

You're probably tense outside the bedroom as well as in.

I have that problem too, and it's little ticks that made me realize I'm stiffer than I'd like to be.

Consider doing yoga and meditating. It sounds weird, but doing stretches and calm breathing exercises helps you to learn to let go.

Not having orgasms in bed isn't necessarily a problem so much as its the symptom of a bigger problem.

Learn to live in the moment and clear your head. It's a wonderful thing only thinking about what's happening to you in the moment, and it generally just helps you out in life.

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>>17441237
PLS NO BULLY MY BUTT IS STILL VIRGIN MOSTLY

>>17441219
maybe you should try therapy, or some positive imagery/ self talk

>>17440673
ex bf now but I was the same and never could orgasm by penetration. Oral, most of the time but usually I would have to use my hand white he penetrated me to cum. I thought it must be me but we were partying at a friend of his house, the friend crashed and ex and I started messing around on the couch, l slid to my knees and started giving him drunk head, I catch my ex waving then feel a hand cup my pussy from behind and I froze but ex grabbed my head and got going again and he told me it's ok and his friend penetrated me from behind suddenly and I almost passed out from the intense orgasm. Not sure if it was the surprise, the shameful excitement of another guy or the friend did something different. We had never spoke of a threesome nor had I ever fantasized about one it just happened. Ruined sex between me and my ex though.

>>17441243
you mitght be right. there were times i orgasmed easier and it was when i wasn´t so tense and stressed. i´ll try to relay a bit more in general. can´t hurt

>>17441253
why did it ruin sex?

>>17441245
YOU ARE STILL VIRGIN

>>17441256
because now she has an insatiable desire to cuck

>>17441262
My butt is

Not my penis

>>17441266
stop telling youreslf that. you know you are a virgin

>>17441268
What? I'm really not

>>17441274
that one time you sucked off a hobo doesn´t count as "losing your virginity"

>>17441256
One, my ex acted really weird from then on but I know I did too. I was ashamed I went along with it but no denying I liked it. I definitely didn't want to see his friend again and didn't. Really didn't like the guy much. Two, I realized I could cum by penetration just not with this ex and Three, after the sensory overload of two guys touching me and me them, something seemed missing

>>17441263
Not true my ex broke up with me abruptly and was very angry. I didn't know what was happening when he was waving his friend over.

>>17441280
is it possible that you being drunk made a differnce too? maybe you were more relaxed than usual

>>17440673

Maybe you're gay?

>>17441299
no. i tried. definitely not

>>17441287
possible but we had sex before when I was that drunk and while I would be more into it, the results always the same

I thought of everything. The setting, the drunkenness, the taboo, me not even protesting but allowing a guy to take me, the whole being desired thing so maybe it was a combination. Anyway at least I know I can have a penetrative orgasm and don't even have to care for the guy

>>17441301
You should try my dick babygurl

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>>17441308
You need Jesus

>>17441308
>I can have a penetrative orgasm
that´s pretty demotivating... i mean, i know i probably can have one too. it´s like it´s right in front of my nose but i can´t get to it.

>>17441309
thank you for your generouse offer but i´ll pass

>>17441316
I wouldn't want to fuck anyone who cant spell generous anyway

>>17441320
as if you could afford to be picky

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>>17441322
As a man of refined tastes no unskilled tavern whore like yourself could please me

>>17441314
what does jesus have to do with anything unless jesus is into threesomes

>>17441331
as a woman of refined tastes no neckbearded tripfag like yourself could ever get near my pussy

is your bf insecure, jealous kind of type? Some men can't take their gfs amping up the sluttiness without taking it the wrong way.

Best sex is when you both don't judge each others sexual preferences or afraid to ask for what they REALLY want in bed. Some women have fetishes like: incest, threesome and all that and so does the man.

Another thing is your man worries too much about his performance, rather than enjoying the sex and you sense that coming from him

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>>17441336
Good thing arrows travel far

*nocks an arrow*

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UNakJDWws5Q

>>17441347
>is your bf insecure
yes

i don´t think acting out my fantasies will solve this. i actually think it would just be a deep dark bottom less pit. i should and want to be able to orgasm because that´s how my body is designed to function. not having to need sensory overload.

>worries too much about his performance, rather than enjoying the sex and you sense that coming from him
yes, that´s the case too. but it was with everyone i have ever slept with, not just him

>>17441255
Maybe try having a few drinks first to relax you

>>17441559
i tried. didn´t work

>>17441572
Are you able to get off when you're alone and have you ever had this problem with anyone else?

>>17440922
Is your boyfriend uncut? My boyfriend is cut and I feel like it takes away from my pleasure.

>>17442570
you idiot

>>17442609
>>17440681
>>17440673
>>17440673
>>17440673
>>17440679
>>17440679

how does adv work?

>>17441396

Very difficult situation

yeah performance anxiety is common, but yeah who knows how your bf is capable of saying when he has a "i don't give a fuck attitude". I'm going to fuck your cunt slut, im going to ram your wet pussy, this is my pussy and don't you forget it peasant. Also he may be scared to be emotionally vulnerable in the bed too. Those things set most women off.

Partners just give too many fucks, that's why sex isn't so great. Its good to talk about sexual pasts with each other but most men can't take it.

Let another experienced woman finger you and release the blocks, article very related.

http://www.elephantjournal.com/2016/08/how-my-yoni-massage-brought-unexpected-healing-orgasm-adult/


http://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/06/how-to-boost-our-orgasmic-potential/