This situation took place some time ago but I'm still thinking

>>17432136
Relax. He was insensitive in not realizing that he was sending mixed messages, but in fact he had you friendzoned and it simply didn't occur to him that he might be hurting you.

We guys are very, VERY dumb about sending or receiving messages. Unless things are sid to us (or we say them) in simple declarative sentences of preferably one-syllable words, we have no idea a message is being sent, much less understand it.

That guy just sounds like a dickhead.

>>17432136

It's kind of a paradox really, but he is the one who is egotistical. He most likely enjoys seeking validation/ emotional ruse ing from you. In reality he needed you, generally, to care about/inquire/ be interested in. It is generally surprising in this society, but this is usually how it happens to men by women. This leads me to believe that he is hurt that you ditched him and emotionally cut you out of his psyche.

This is a classic example of the term coined "Beta orbiters" they do not like you romantically, but they do enjoy your company, emotional support and general plastic behavior towards them. (Bending to their needs wants desires etc.)

From what you're saying:

It sounds like he's playing with you.

However, there are two sides to this:

Maybe he likes you, but he's got a case of having no balls, so he puts out the flirts, but can't back it up when it gets real because he's a chick-shit who prefers fantasy

Maybe he's fucking clueless as all hell and dense as fuck, likes you, and is trying to use to pick up artist bullshit to make you want him, but doesn't actually know HOW to execute.

Maybe he lies the chase, but gets bored when it dones. So he gets off on teasing you, but doesn't want to commit

Maybe he didn't actually think you were in to him and thought it was all just harmless flirting, but then you finally explicitly told him you were in to him and now he's just like... uhhh shit... no way? because he never felt the same about you and thought it was all for play.

It could be anything.


My 2 cents:

Whatever the case, the one thing we know is this shit is ALREADY getting over-complicated from the get go, which means this guy is going to be a headache to deal with from the get go and that probably won't ever lessen. The start should always be among the easiest of parts. You should move on if you can.

>>17432136

Either he didn't realize it or he's an asshole so talk to him about it and if he doesn't realize he's at fault just get him out of your life

>>17432136
There are two possibilities:
He intentionally sent it to you to stroke his own ego by toying with someone who wants him

Or

He sent it to you without intentions but is so far up his ass that he didn't realize he might hurt you

Either way, he's a douche and you're right to cut contact with him. Especially the part about the concert, it clear that he was only trying to keep up obligations by suggesting a vague possibility of hanging out without commitment. He didn't care for you as a friend and only hung out with you because he'd feel bad neglecting someone who had expectations of friendship

You're better off not talking to him

>>17432209
>insensitive
>not realizing he was sending mixed messages
Absolute bullshit anon.

>>17432220
>enjoys seeking validation
This nigga knows what's up. He knows you're getting mad and emotional when you see those pictures and he's loving it. It makes him feel desirable. That's all that it is.

>>17432249

Funny enough, I am a "nigga" and I always know what's up. By definition really, it is you anon, that truly knows what's up xd

>>17432230
Talking to him is pointless because he'll never be honest anyway. And I cut the ties anyway so it's all good, but the distaste and sad feels remain

>>17432220
Yeah, I think you are right, and he uses me as his validation machine or something like that, which sucks because he's an adult man and it's such a shitty way to treat a person

>>17432209
>He was insensitive in not realizing that he was sending mixed messages, but in fact he had you friendzoned and it simply didn't occur to him that he might be hurting you.
I'm sorry, but that's bullshit. He knew exactly what he was doing.

>>17432136
This is that typical girls go for assholes meme.

Like seriously at what point does this cunt walk all over you and you finally go. "Why the fuck do i have feelings for someone like this"

Anon keeopcontact cut. And find someone whos not a fucking prick.
There are people out there that will treat
You the way you want to be treated.

But then again some women like being a doormat for guys to walk all over.

>>17432352
I understand where you're coming from. I stayed friends with him because he has many positive qualities, and I know he has some issues which might have shaped him and make him egoistic and insensitive, but I hoped he would mature and change. Now I see it's not the case, tho. I fell for him because he's incredibly intelligent and has a wicked sense of humour, not because he's a bad boy. But yeah, it was a mistake

>>17432136
he doesnt like you, he just thought of you as a good friend or enjoys playing you

>>17432615
>he doesn't like you
>he thought of you as a good friend

Choose one, if you don't like someone, you don't consider them a friend. If you consider someone a friend, you don't play with them.

The guy from OP is clearly retarded

That happened to me with a girl. We almost slept together and she ghosted because she said she was not prepared. A year went and she texted me and wanted to hang out, I make it clear that I still had feelings towards her. She friendzoned me for another year till she got a bf.
I regret every second I spent with her, but I understand you OP. At least for me it's just so hard to love someone, to really love someone. I loved just two girls in my life, this one and my first gf. What can I say, I was a fool. Don't be a fool too, stop seeing him.
I'm starting to know another girl and I feel really comfortable with her, you will find another one to love. There's hope.

>>17432572
Protip. You cant change others.

Only if that person wants to change will it happen.

Like i said there are plenty of people who will treat you right. With those good qualities you supposedly see in this guy and much more.
Never settle for anything that makes you feel like shit. In any aspect of your life.

>>17432136
Christ it sounds like it's a miracle that he doesn't like you. Seems like a complete dumbass to me. And a Chad.

typically, men and women aren't friends

this man wants to have sex with you. Why? Because he's a man.

It's just that he has other things going on for him right now. he has a higher-status girl (in his mind) that he is enjoying, so he isn't actively seeking you right now. He may be one of the especially rare men that commits to being behaviorally faithful - but he's not being "heart faithful", if that makes sense..

however, he needs to keep you on the "back burner" - if something happens to his current situation, he wants you on his booty call list.

so, he contacts you now and then, but he does so in ways that let you know that he doesn't NEED you currently... because he's currently getting female attention elsewhere.

also, he may have read that many women are competitive, and are attracted to men who are already "taken". so, he may think that sending you pics of him with his gf is making you MORE attracted to him

therefore, he may be trying to provoke you into trying to seduce him. Then he can enjoy you, he can enjoy his feeling of superiority over you, and he can also still feel like you came onto him and not the way other way around, so it's like he wasn't really cheating.

I think the next time he sends you something obnoxious about him and his gf, you should text/message him back saying something like this:

"i used to like you because of your good qualities. However, I see that two of your bad qualities are your lack of faithfulness to your current girlfriend, and your desire to toy with the feelings of other women. You don't strike me as the kind of man that would ever be faithful to me if we got together, and that's the least attractive quality in the world. Good luck with your life. I hope you grow up."

>>17432136

He was keeping you at arms length as a backup plan should every other woman knock him back.

Or he just didn't have the balls to be upfront and tell you that he wasn't interested.

Be grateful he's gone. If you're in love with someone and they are not returning the feels, you can't be friends.
You'll just hurt yourself by seeing or talking to him because it will bring back the one-way love feels.

>>17432798
I know I can't, but I always thought that my friendship will help him change himself - I was naive to think that way, I see it now

>>17433009
I don't believe he wants to have sex with me or that men and women can't be friends. Even in our case, despite me catching the feels, and him getting a gf, being platonical friends was possible till he started teasing in a way he knew would hurt. He could just tell me honestly he has a gf and I would be fine with it and happy for him. Him playing games with me is what hurts me.

>>17433027
He told me he's not interested years ago and I was fine with it and ready to cut the contact because I assumed it would be awkward for him to stay friends with a girl who's crushing on him, but he begged to stay friends so we did. I didn't try to win him over after that, we were just good buddies. It really sucks that the only guy I enjoyed talking with turned out to be a cunt ready to play with his friend's feelings for his own satisfaction. I used to think that only women do shallow and shitty things like that, lmao