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I was dumb. Got in a relationship with a girl I met online, but very quickly realized that she was insane. Being a horny 20y/0 tho, I stuck with it, and ended up losing my virginity to her.
As time went on, her constant screaming and crying drove me into anxiety and I developed panic disorder. As I got worse, and I became more irritable to be around, all my friends slowly began ignoring me. Except for one.
Last November, my friend dragged me out to a hockey game along with his other friend (who dragged his gf along). I didn't want her to come along at first because I thought she was going to ruin fun like my then-gf did. She didn't, and actually ended up being pretty cool to be around.
Ended up setting me down the path into realizing that I was in an abusive relationship, and that I was the one being abused. I broke up with her about a week before Christmas of last year, and haven't dated anyone since.
My panic attacks have stopped, and my anxiety is almost back to normal, but I do have one thing that I can't get over: I think I hate women now, and I'm realizing that I have some pretty violent fetishes.
Not in any rush to get back into a relationship, I just don't know what to do from here, and frankly, I don't feel comfortable confessing my misogyny in the current political environment.
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>>17431675
>I think I hate women now
not your fault; it will take some concerted effort to unassociate women in general from your ex.
>and I'm realizing that I have some pretty violent fetishes.
this is your fault. stop looking at so much porn
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>>17431686
that's the problem
>I rarely look at porn, and when I do, it's vanilla jap shit.
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>>17431675
What the fuck kind of livejournal bullshit is this what do you need advice on seriously
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Its funny you hate women, when it was a good woman who made you realize yours was insane in the first place.
A lot of women are insane. But there are so many chill ladies out there too. You are doing yourself a disservice by being judgmental toward all of them based on one person.
Trust me I've been in multiple crazy relationships as well, and believed for the longest time that I would never find someone who wasn't abusive or insane. But after exposing myself to enough good people I was able to get over that and find a good partner who I can trust to be respectful. Believe me though it wasn't easy, as people can be awful to each other. You just have to keep trying and eventually you'll get lucky.
One thing to be thankful for is that now that you've had a taste of crazy you should be much better at spotting and avoiding girls like her in the future.
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>>17431698
I know, that's the problem. A normal well-adjusted woman helped me realize I was in a fucked up place, but now I can't help but hate all of them.
The cognitive dissonance is what's getting to me, and I just wanna know how to resolve it.
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>>17431704
You are still hurting and warry after a pretty brutal experience. A reaction like yours in its severity is normal. 2 cents but the phrase run away from your problems comes to mind. Nothing clears the mind than an extremely intense running session. Take up running, it will speed up the healing process.
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>>17431704
You obviously need to learn to give them a chance once again. As long as you don't do that things'll never change.
How that happens, OP, depends largely on you. Maybe just go for sex, or try to make friends with women you don't feel full-on hatred towards?
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>>17431715
I do need to work on my cardio...
>>17431717
the rational part of me totally agrees. I basically have found a decent enough heuristic: avoid any girl who has a bad relationship with 1 or both of her parents. Bonus avoid if parents are divorced.
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>>17431717
I agree OP, try to make form a relationship with a woman other than romantic. Like I think you need to be able to observe women from a distance and get used to the idea of them being normal, before you can have a romance again. Maybe some platonic female friends would help. I don't suggest a FWB because on the off-chance you still haven't learned to stay away from crazy you don't wanna stick your dick in it again until you've learned. (No offense but I know from personal experience that if you had one crazy, theres probably something about you that attracts crazy in general, so work it slowly OP until you figure out how to get normal chicks in your life)
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>>17431735
> avoid any girl who has a bad relationship with 1 or both of her parents. Bonus avoid if parents are divorced.
Thats a little too judgemental if you ask me. Some people have terrible fathers or mothers and can't help it. Don't narrow your pool so much or you might be tossing out the girl you're looking for.
Environment doesn't always make people who they are, its the way they choose to deal with the hand they're dealt that indicates whether they are crazy or not.
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>>17431738
True... I did get friend zone'd back in HS by a girl with divorced parents... but she was also into piercings too...
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>>17431675
One shitty woman is not all women. Learn this.
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>>17431675
In the words of the great Nelson Algren,
Never eat at a place called Mom's, never play poker with a guy called Pop, and never fuck anyone crazier than you."
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