My ex started talking to me again. Added me back on IM. Txts

What is she talking to you about?

Sounds like she misses you

>>17429611
we haven't talked in a year, it's just been mundane stuff like what song she likes or stuff that reminded her of me.
>>17429621
What should I say? Should I ask why she's talking to me? I still care but just barely, so it's a weird mix and I don't want to burn bridges but.. It's just not something I thought I'd have to deal with.

She was fucking some other guy for a year, got her heart broken, needs someone else to comfort her, she chose the old backup plan B and now she's in your inbox.
I wish I could tell you something else.

>>17429783
this

Stay away from it. Cut you're losses and move on. Stay civil but keep her in the friend zone.

Anything more is deplorable!

>>17429836
>>17429783
Not too out of the realm of reality, it's just that our last 2 years together was long distance (5 year relationship) and I was kind of in a low point. I'm not sure if if the breakup was fairgame or if I should just follow the advice here and cut my losses.

What was the reason you broke up?
If it's because you did something wrong (or think you did), there's no reason not to give it another shot if you think you've changed and she might have seen that.
If she did something wrong, left you and probably went to someone else, have her jump through hoops to prove her affection for her. Even if you catch feelings for her earlier than expected, you can't give in. It's alright to have feelings for her, but it's not alright to put yourself through heartbreak a second time unless she can prove she won't do it again.

In the end, the reality is that she probably chose someone else in that time and now she's feeling that she either A. lost her best bet after being in a shitty relationship all this time, so you're plan b, or B. she realizes you're better than the people she's with now and is coming back to you. Either way, she chose someone else instead of you, and is either using you as a fall-back/rebound or realizes what she's lost. Don't disrespect yourself by settling for second best unless she can actually prove she wants to be with you. If she doesn't want to go through that effort, she obviously doesn't care much about you and you should just keep her in the friendzone or drop her completely. A few months of proving herself is nothing in comparison to her going through another year of shitty partners or whatever drove her to come back.

Respect yourself.

>>17429846
>>17429847
>I was in a low point
This falls into the category of her doing something wrong, because she didn't have the courage to stick around when you were feeling shit, when you would have most likely done it for her. She might have just wanted more dickings due to the LDR, but that's still not enough of a reason to make you into a fallback plan and not an investment.

>>17429846
If you dont follow the advice, the next time she leaves it wont be good on you.

Anything that has you questioning yourself is not worth coming back to.

I was in a relationship for 4 years, it stopped one day randomly and then i spent forever trying to work out what was wrong with me. She came back after a year, stuck somewhere between friends and more than friends then suddenly disappeared again, bringing me back to where i was the day she left the first time.

Dont do it, dont even think about it.

No one here can read minds. Don't bother trying to figure out what she wants. Figure out what YOU want.

>>17429573
Women are fucking crazy dude. My ex wished me a happy birthday today thru text and it's been 3 years since we last fucked and 4 years since we were officially dating. Don't have her on Facebook or anything either. She fucked a bunch of my friends too so idk what this bitch is trying to accomplish, probably just playing mind games.

>>17429889
THIS!!

To be honest, communication with an ex is a no-go for me.

However, this week has been one big exception. We had no contact for 2 months again (therefore the little chitchat how are you etc), but now she is in the hospital in critical condition and I can't get to her because she is on the other side of the world. Big exception for me.

>>17429847
All the advice in this thread has a place and is valuable, but I think this is the most solid for my situation.

We broke up because of distance and stress. She said she was depressed, at the same time I was trying to force her to be someone she kind of wasn't, and I was doing nothing with my life for a solid 2 years while I fought a court case. I was lazy as shit doing nothing living with my mom waiting for court appearances. Basically I was at my worst and she was working a job and living with her parents and doing quite well. A week after I won my case and got my freedom she said she wanted a break, and I was pissed and I said no, we were breaking up. I said it in as hurtful a way I could because I wanted her to feel the sting I felt when I was left. I thought she'd value me if I did. A week later I broke down and contacted her, and she said she wanted to stay apart for some time and consider us seperated. I totally agree she probably wanted to be single and try something out. I tried talking to her within 2 months and she didn't really seem to want to work it out and so we split. That's the short of it.

I'm willing to work it out because we share a history, but I can't and won't unless she can somehow atone and build my trust in her. I hardly think it's possible...

But all of this is just... Not really the point atm. I just have no idea what it all means or what I should say. Just feel kinda vulnerable. I kind of want to use her to maybe help me get moved to her city to start a new life. Not necessarily with her but just, a friend could be helpful right now.