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ITT: Ask the opposite gender anything

This is a blue board which means that it's for everybody (Safe For Work content only). If you see any adult content, please report it.

Thread replies: 333
Thread images: 41

GUIDELINES:
Before you post a question, check here to see if it's already been answered.
Keep questions short for more answers.
If you're not going to like honest answers, don't ask your question.
And please no derailing arguments.

FAQ:
>Do girls/guys like <insert specific look>?
>Is my body part big/small enough?
>Am I short/tall enough?
>Would you date a virgin?
><random insecurity>
Some do, some don't. Preferences differ, but complexes are always a turn-off.

>I'm shy and afraid of people/rejection. What do I do?
Get over it by practicing and exposing yourself to it, little by little, step by step. There is no single magical moment that will instantly change you forever. It takes hard work, time, and effort.

>I like someone. What do I do?
>How can I tell if someone likes me?
Ask them out.

>Where do I meet girls/guys?
Anywhere outside. Or online.

>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
Nothing significant.

>XYZ happened. Interpret this for me please
We're not in their head, we don't fucking know.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

>Someone has made it super clear they're no longer interested in me. Do I still have a chance?
No.

>Where do I go on a first (or subsequent) date?
Pick one or more of the following: coffee, lunch, dinner, drinks, ice cream, movies, zoo, aquarium, museum, art gallery, <activity in your city>.

>Brandon, that guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships and fart guy
Fuck off.
>>
Girls:
When you say you want the aggressive guy that goes for what they want does it also mean he has to be at least an 8/10?

There's a girl that I'm interested in and she says that she's tired of white guys, she said "I've never met a white guy that is aggressive and goes for what he wants" and that she's only interested in the "darker shades" guys because apparently to her they have this trait or whatever. I think I've been pretty "aggressive" and throwing a lot of hints at tber but it seems like she isn't interested. Obviously people want more than one trait in a person but if you're going to say "aggressive" just say, "ih and you have to be at least 6'2''.

I don't know, to me, it seems like she doesn't know what she wants and I'm starting to think that I'm wasting my time. So girls, is this trait common for women? Also what do you think about the girl I'm interested in?
>>
I've got a question that hardly merits it's own thread, so I'll ask here. 20M btw

I'm in a new relationship of 3 months, my first one ever and I'm unsure if I'm doing things right.
We're both 20, and recently she told me she's got a problem with closeness, more accurately physical closeness. Like, no French kissing and we mostly just hold hands and hug at best, and kiss rarely.
I wonder if I'm fucking up something and this is and excuse, or if that's not the case, how to overcome this fear of hers, or whatever it is.
Also, is there any general guide for dos and donts in a relationship, or do I just have to continue with this trial and error method?

Bonus question for girls
How do I into kissing?
I figure you'd tell me the best what you generally like and dislike.
>>
Girls what is it liking having guys/bf buy you stuff? I sort of get a power trip over having the finances to actually do things.
>>
>>17428641
I don't usually think about guys on a scale out of 10, though admittedly I have kinda nonstandard taste. But I have to find you attractive for any of your traits to matter. The girl you're talking about doesn't sound into you, you're probably wasting your time.

>>17428652
I hate it when people buy me things, even family, so it feels pretty awful when men try to woo me by paying for things. I happen to be a big gift-giver, as contradictory as it is.
>>
>>17428641
She sounds like a mudshark
>>
Idiot here. I was hanging out with this girl yesterday and it seemed like randomly she would start getting all smiley/laughy at the things I were saying that weren't really funny. Good/bad sign?
>>
Guys-

What are typical signs a guy is trying to escalate a fwb situation into a relationship?

Inb4 he's not
>>
>>17428652
It makes me feel very loved and taken care of when my boyfriend does it
>>
>>17428706
He wants to spend a holiday with you/family
Shit, If I'm bringing a side girl in front of my parents, there is at least SOME chance I want it to be something more.
>>
>>17428641
Best to cut your losses. She Will never be into you
>>17428651
Take it slow, sounds like you're doing fine So far. Likely there's a reason she's that way. Kissing, just go for it.if she pulls away, don't go for it
>>17428652
I don't particularly care for it nor do i allow it, sorry i can't help you.
>>17428699
Good sign.
>>
These threads move too fast nowadays.

I want gift anon to see my post:
>>17428714
>>>17428592
>>>17428544
>>
>>17428652
I don't like when guys buy me things unless we are intimate enough and they're not overly expensive (so I can buy something equally expensive for them).
It's like
Okay < 1/25 of my wage < tolerable on occasions < 1/10 of my wage < the fuck are you doing.
>>
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>>17428641
Disgusting coal burning degenerate.
The sooner her ilk are put to death, the better.
>>
Girls,

How the fuck can you go from loveydovey one day to suddenly going full retard and leaving for an ex-boyfriend who hurt you?

I'm not taking her back after what I've done for her, unless she's prepared to work, but literally how the fuck does that logic even work? I've heard of multiple cases of it. Maybe I was a rebound, but 6 months of being a rebound sounds really fucking weird. I've heard rebounds don't last for that long and they usually jump back quick.
>>
>>17428731
They never cared about you and were just using you as an emotional tampon to fix themselves.
You were basically the upgraded version of a beta orbiter.
>>
>>17428741
This.

Women have use men for their emotional needs and discard them when they no longer need them, all the time, with no shame.
>>
>>17428741
Fair enough. Welp, shit happens.
>>
>>17428641
It sounds like you need to fire up the ovens and make her skin as dark as that of her fuckbuddies
>>
>>17428718
>Take it slow, sounds like you're doing fine So far. Likely there's a reason she's that way
I see, thanks.
>>
>>17428747
>>17428741

Yeah, but what part of your brain makes you actually think it's an even remotely acceptable thing to do? Is it just built into your brain to break a heart when you have yours broken?
>>
>>17428747
The jump from what I wrote to your post is pretty big.
It's like I say "all men beat their girlfriends and give them STDs" because it happened to my best friend.
Some people do shit like that, some others don't. Don't make assumptions.
>>
>>17428760
It's more about what isn't build into women's brains that what is.
>>
>>17428652
FUCK ALL THESE GIRLS WHO TURN DOWN GIFTS! I WILL BE YOUR TROPHY WIFE. LET ME BE A GOLD DIGGER!
Real talk, I usually get embarrassed if someone gives me a gift. I'll talk about how they shouldn't have and that they're too kind. I'd be worried about being a financial burden. I'd feel kind of guilty.
I'm not used to having money nor gifts given to me. I'll be a little uncomfortable with a big diamond necklace, but if you knew me well enough you'd know that I don't like those flashy things anyway.
I'd like it if it wasn't expensive just for the sake of being expensive. I'd prefer a cute $3 picture frame from the thrift store to a solid gold one. But if he got something that I want, but couldn't normally afford? Something that really does make a difference when you buy the real thing? Like buy brand lolita, or take me on a weekend vacation, or buy real leather custom chelsea boots, or get me a real fine quality vibrator, or raw cat food, or new computer parts, or a new game, or badges to a convention, or that figma I've always wanted?

As long as he was really rolling in cash and wouldn't be affected by the purchase, I would be thrilled. I might cry a little bit. I'm too used to just drooling over things I can never have.
>>
>>17428760
They probably don't even notice they are doing it.
I know a few immature girls who date people just because they feel lonely and sad, and being in a relationship with someone you don't feel much for is better than being alone.
I also have been told by a guy I was seeing that he dated me because he didn't have better option.
I mean, shitty people are shitty, not gendered thing.
>>
>>17428706
Guy here, idk that escalate thing but, if he is more interested in do some emotional things or spend time with you is a good sign.

Dont watch for clues, he probably don't even know if he want to enhance his relationship but you may ask him. Even if he dont know when you ask that, he would meditate about the issue and will give you an answer (or not). If he dont give you an answer is a good sign because he is thinking very deep in that issue.
>>
>>17428641
She seems a bit of a cunt. I don't know what it's like where you're from, but in my town, making generalizations about race in that way would make anyone in listening radius raise an eyebrow.
I like guys who are fairly confident, but more in the idea that I'm sick of having to play therapist for kids with no selfesteem and social anxiety.

>>17428651
That happens. I know girls like this. Protip: it's best to assume your girlfriend isn't just lying to you. I suggest talking more about it with her about when kissing would be alright.

>>17428699
Bad sign. It means she thinks you're a joke, a laughing stock.
I'm joking, if you couldn't tell.

>>17428760
Hormones? Grief? Horniness?
I couldn't really tell you, since I've never done nor wanted to do something like that.
>>
>>17428764
It isn't a big leap at all.
Modern culture actively encourages women to simply use and manipulate men for their own ends.
>>
Do girls actually care about guy's hairstyle?
>>
>>17428787
Modern culture and "the society" names kill me.
Modern culture encourages men to fuck as many girls as they can. Modern culture encourages girls to starve themselves to look like models. Modern culture justifies fat people. Modern culture encourages rape.

You really can say all the bullshit you want, "modern culture" isn't 6 feminists on twitter. most girls don't manipulate people consciously. Some immature people do it because they don't know any better.
>>
>>17428793
Not too much - if it looks neat and it fits him, I'm sold.
>>
>>17428812
>Modern culture encourages rape.
That's just a straight-up lie. How can you expect anyone to believe your post when you type this shit?
>>
>>17428822
I was joking.
"Modern culture", "society", "the patriarchy" are all characters created by activists to empower the "us against them" rhetoric. It doesn't mean anything.
What is the "modern culture" exactly? Who makes "society" or "the patriarchy"?
They are meaningless expressions.
>>
>>17428793
I don't, as long as it suits them/looks good on them I don't really care for a specific look.
>>17428652
I feel uncomfortable with it for the most part. If my bf is spending money on "me" I'd rather it be on things we can do together rather than material gifts for only me to use. Like I'd rather my bf offer to buy us both movie tickets than just buy me a necklace or something.
But if it's a gift for a certain occasion, IE birthday, anniversary, christmas, etc, then I'd be ok with receiving a larger/more expensive gift. However I'd still feel uncomfortable if I knew he spent too much on me, like saving back 5 paychecks to get it. Just puts too much pressure on me imo, I'll feel like I have to repay it somehow.
>>
>>17428641
She sounds kinda racist to me t b h. Idk, I get the vibe that she thinks of you as a sexual novelty and nothing more.
But to answer your question from my perspective, I like an aggressive, dominant guy. I also have standards in looks, but I find my ratio to be skewed more towards personality than anything. You don't have to be a 10/10 if I like your personality. It actually boosts your physical attractiveness, oddly enough. A dude I would regularly consider a 6 can be bumped as high as 8 with the right attitude.
However on the flip side, even a 10/10 dude can't be saved if he's a chicken shit lil pussy. I'd say its harder to coast on looks for me than it is to coast on personality.
>>
>>17428793
Only if it's bad
>>
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ladies

i'm with this girl, she's the sub and i'm the dom for the most part (we switch it up sometimes, and i don't particularly mind)

we've done the usual s&m stuff, biting, scratching, bondage, handcuffs, blindfolds etc and she really, really likes it and that's good

but i have a massive fetish for pseudo-rape, not in the literal "fuck her without her consent" rape, just pretend resistance when we bang and when the girl says "stop"/lets me fully dominate her

i don't think she'd be against it at all, but she's had prior experiences with sexual abuse before, i'm hesitant to bring it up because i feel like it might upset her or something

any advice?
>>
>>17428822
>>Modern culture encourages rape.

Actually you can argue that it does, AND blames Jews and SJW types for it.
Really make their head spin.

Let's say you have some jewish SJW type single mother or some shit tweeting on about how ALL MEN ARE RAPISTS AND ENCOURAGE RAPE.

Just ask her this;
>Did you have your son circumcised?

She's a jewish SJW so she'll be all like "yeah, muh religion, muh dick chopping stups rayp".
At which point you can go to them and say "So the first act, as this childs mother, was to show him that his consent doesn't matter, only the bigger, older, more authoritarian, gets a choice in the matter. Lady, you're encouraging rape, you've set an example to your child that it's okay to pull that kinda shit".

Seriously. Fucks with the jews and their SJW puppets.
>>
>>17428987
I would def be verrry careful about it if she has a history.
It's a common fetish to have among survivors ironically, however you can never know what will trigger her and freak her out. I'm a survivor myself, and I also share this "obviously fake" rape kink in theory, however I have yet to try it because I am concerned I would fuck myself over and break all the progress I've made towards my psyche, you know? I do know for me personally what my major triggers are, namely any sexual contact with a woman since I was raped by a woman, perhaps she may have some she knows about too. But like I said there can be some hidden things even she doesn't know about that could set her off.

You can try talking to her about it, but be very mindful of her experience. and if you try it, make sure the first time is very bland so you can just dip your toes, so to speak.
>>
>>17429003
>At which point you can go to them and say "So the first act, as this childs mother, was to show him that his consent doesn't matter, only the bigger, older, more authoritarian, gets a choice in the matter. Lady, you're encouraging rape, you've set an example to your child that it's okay to pull that kinda shit".
She'll just pull up some bullshit excuse or go silent like all women do when they talk about their right to mutilate their son's cock.
>>
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>>17429023
I'll try talking to her about it, maybe word what I want to "just resist a little bit when I do it" instead of "pretend i'm raping you"


thanks anon
>>
>>17429042
Yeah, ease into it. Honestly nothing gets me going more than the "over the top shyness"/borderline rape scenario lol. Like "Oh please don't look there! Nooo don't touch me there" etc. You can try that angle too.
And also if it fails and she has a break down or something, ride it out with her. Discuss what upset her after she's more calm, let her know it's not her fault. I mean, you seem pretty in with the bdsm crowd so you probably already know this drill.
>>
Has social media ruined relationships?
What I mean by this. It seems like expectations are ridiculously high for men now. How can men be expected to be as good as some boyfriends on Facebook.
Kinda have a personal example.
Girlfriend and I go to St. Louis for the weekend(Been dating 2. 5 years). Do some fun stuff, have what I thought was a good time and she said she had a good time too. Month later, friends of hers on facebook are going to the beach. "I wish we could go on nice vacations Anon." and "My sister is going on a week trip to St. Louis." I just started teaching and haven't even got my first check.

Point, does social media cause jealousy or am I just missing it.
>>
>>17429077
That doesn't sound like an issue with social media desu, sounds like your gf being unrealistic with you and your funds.
Like, think of it this way, your gf is going to talk to her sister one way or another. She's her sister, without facebook you're only delaying the inevitable. She'll hear about her sisters cool vacation and then have the exact same conversation.
Though I don't think that comment was really anything significant. I think maybe she was just saying "I wish we had the money for this kind of stuff, but oh well."
Sounds like a passive thing to say, if not she's a bitch for expecting you to be able to do everything someone else can. I think you're the one setting your own standards for yourself too high.
>>
>>17429077
>>17429110
However I will admit that social media does cause jealousy, but not in the way you're seeing.
The biggest way I see couples using social media is to brag about having a bf/gf. They use it to show off their SO, so the jealousy I see actually comes from us poor single saps who will never know the loving embrace of a committed partner.
I know I block every single relationship post I see. I've been known to unfollow friends purely for changing their relationship status because I don't give a shit about their happiness in love.
I'm a bitter bitch, I know and will fully claim that title. But hey, block button's there for a reason.
>>
>>17429110
>>17429122
As an update for you two. For some reason I'm in trouble today. We live in two different parts of the state during the summer. I'm thinking she's lonely and is just taking it out on me.
>>
>>17429160
Those were both me, but that sounds like it.
>>
girls, you wake up and discover that your new identity is 'femanon trump' what do you do?
>>
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22 - 29 year old ladies, where am I most likely to find you?

Match
EHarmony
OkCupid
Tinder
Coffee Meets Bagel
>>
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>>17429253
idk probably kill myself?
>>
girls, how common is turning down on a guy based on his features that you believe are the signs of having small penis ?
>>
>>17429271
Depends, you want sane rational women or damaged goods with major daddy issues?
Because you won't find the former in any online dating site.
>>
>>17429278

single women past 23 usually are single for a reason though, no matter where you find them
>>
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>>17429275
I've said it once and I'll say it again, guys are far more preoccupied with dick size than any woman is ever. Unless you're a freak on either end of the spectrum, micropenis or hose schlong, you're fine.
Also keep in mind not every woman even wants a big dick. They turn me off a little, t b h. Just looks painful. I'll keep my average dickos any day. Big dick ain't enough for me to turn anyone down, but it ain't my favorite either.

I'll tell ya, I'd be more likely to turn you down for your concern in dick size than the actual size of your dick anyday lol.
>>
>>17429273
you wouldnt try to divorce and get trumpbux?
>>
>>17429282
23's cuttin it kinda soon don't you think though? lol, I mean most people are finishing college at that point and starting to foot their own lives. Past 25 maybe, but 23's when you're just beginning to look for real long term relationships.
>>
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>>17429289
Nah, an hero. No amount of money is worth that suffering.
>>
>>17429295
seriously youre only married for two days until you file, youre saying you rather just die then suffer a couple month and get millions of trump bux
>>
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>>17429304
yup. trump hell is worse than real hell.
Mostly because trump hell is actually real.
>>
>>17429288
you don't speak for me. all things equal with a guy but one have a large penis I'll take the large one. Just don't see enough of them so I take cease any opportunity
>>
>>17429315
are girls like you like the majority of girls ?
>>
>>17429315
Ok but what would you call a "small" penis too small for you? Because goddamn all these insecure cucks on 4chan seem to think if they don't have a 12 inch cock they're small.
>>
>>17429325
>tfw i was like this once except it was not about penis size
Get over yourself, bro.
>>
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Is this true?
>>
>>17429325
Only women who have huge gaping holes for vaginas need big fat cocks to feel anything because they're so used and worn out.
>>
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>>17429374
no. Feminists just want a scapegoat for their own fuckups because they refuse to take responsibility for their own shitty lives.
>>
>super liked a girl on Tinder
>after half an hour or an hour I sent her a couple messages that (I think) were fairly funny
>(the messages were related to each other and a few seconds apart; I didn't do anything dumb like send a message then another 2 hours later saying "pls respond")
>she hasn't responded and it's been about 6 hrs

I feel like this a bad sign, but then again she hasn't unmatched me. It seems like she may just be playing hard to get or whatever.
>>
>>17428706
>What are typical signs a guy is trying to escalate a fwb situation into a relationship?

He's falling in love with you.

I.E. lovey dovey shit that lets you know you're becoming someone he's becoming truly devoted/reliant/caring


>>17429077
>Has social media ruined relationships?
>Point, does social media cause jealousy or am I just missing it.

Human nature causes jealousy. Commercialism causes jealousy. That's the entire point and objective of marketing and sales.

Magazines are built to create jealousy that drives you to buy.
Advertisements are built to create a sense of wanting so you feel you need to have it.
Fashion Models are there to create a sense of want so they can sell.
Make-up in general is about convincing people they need it to be desirable.

I think you're just harping about something that already exists EVERYWHERE ELSE and is a part of the nature of our culture.

Social media is not ruining your relationship any more than the internet, television, telephones, magazines, airplanes, etc.

But either way, you're kind of missing the entire point, if she's talking about going to St Louis, it probably means you guys don't go out often, and there's some sense of excitement, adventurism, exploration, or something else that's currently kind of lacking in your relationship in some way.

Or maybe you guys have different values or maybe she's a child. Either way, this isn't about social media. This is about your relationship dynamic.
>>
>>17429412
>she may just be playing hard to get
She most certainly is not. move on.
>>
>>17429412

Don't send her a single other message. Wait at least a week.

"Super liking" is very beta. It has the opposite effect of its intended effect. Its cringy. Like girls.

It's all about casualness.

Guy here but I'm sure a femanon can back me up on it.
>>
>>17429412
>>17429422
Also
>6 hours.
Holy shit man, you ever stop to wonder she may be at work? People have lives.
>>17429432
Backing, to a certain degree.
Super liking can work, but rarely.

Not backing that all girls are super cringy though, if that's what you were implying.
>>
>>17429412
>I feel like this a bad sign, but then again she hasn't unmatched me. It seems like she may just be playing hard to get or whatever.

It's online dating. Moreover, it's tinder.

Only ever expect 1/2-1/10+ girls you message to respond to you.

Stop getting so damn invested in someone you know basically nothing about.

Here:

I'm Male. 27. I live near the beach. I have a dog. I Have practiced half a dozen martial arts and consider myself a psuedo-intellectual with a dry sense of humor.

Now you know basically as much about me as you do her. Which is to say, nothing. Hell, the fact that I've actually responded to you almost puts me a rung above her.

As someone who's done the online thing and is in a year plus relationship from it, you're taking this shit too seriously.
>>
>>17429312
would you stay married to trump long enough to keep him enthralled with you long enough to keep him distracted from the election and cause him to lose? taking one for the team if you will?
>>
>>17429449
I suppose I could sacrifice myself for the greater good of the world.
But then again I also think its high time the human race darwinism'd itself off the planet.
Give trump the nukes, end our suffering.
>>
>>17429448
Not him but what I don't get though is why a chick would even swipe right if she wasn't interested. Like I know all dudes just swipe right on everything and then weed out the matches, but chicks don't have to play that strategy so why bother?
>>
>>17429456
how to does it feel knowing that despite what bitter neckbeard think, women out there ARE not always trying to get your money and stuff
>>
>>17429434

Aw no I wasn't Implying that. I was instructing him to "Like girls" rather than "Super-liking" them from a Tinder perspective Kek. Just messed my linguistics up.
>>
>>17429478
Ah gotcha. I thought it was that, but just thought I'd be clear if your were implying girls were cringy that I disagreed lol.
We good f a m.
>>
>>17429475
wat?
If you're saying what I think you are, feels great because it's tru. Not every woman would suck trumps cock for a billion dollars lol. And a lot don't actually care about money, sans what they need to survive.
>>
>>17429467

Not a femanon but have you ever watched girls do it?

It's not really that different really.

*Looks at phone*
No.
No.
He's cute *swipe*
No
No
Cute *swipe*
ok *swipe*
no
hell no
no
Hot! *swipe*

I've seen female friends do it, hell I've seen my girlfriend do it (we hopped back on for shits and giggles). In fact she's always refereed to it not as looking for dates, but straight up just people browsing (and to be honest, I saw it in a similar way).
>>
>>17429374
Half correct. Yes, the masculine standards were set by culture, aka "the patriarchy". The issue with feminists is they will say they want to reform those standards, but then turn around and shame men with them.

In practice it's all just feel good rhetoric, it was feminists that worked to prevent domestic abuse shelters in canada for instance.
>>
>"hey im going with x friend for coffee, be right back"
>it's been three hours

Why do I feel a little bit anxious?
>>
>>17429493
i meant like how does it feel to shatter their beliefs but you already answered
>>
Girls,

I read somewhere once that for women, sex feels like the nice-but-almost-painful sensation of taking a crap, except in and out, over and over again. Slightly graphic, but descriptive. But different than anal sex itself, it's like an ache being soothed. Or something.

How true is this? Is the pleasure/pain very similar, or different in some way? Basically, how does the pleasure of a thrust from a dick compare to taking a shit?
>>
My fwb of 1 year (who is also the only person I've had sex with) is talking to someone now and I honestly cant "handle it with him" because we already made this agreement (after i told him i caught feelings) that he only wants to be friends so I shouldn't expect anything more. I pretended to be on the same page as him but the feelings were always there. I settled for fwb because I knew its the most I could get. I've felt this way since last year, he used to talk about going on vacations with me and dating me, all sorts of things but none of it ever happened. He only texts me when he wants me to come to his house and have sex, and I go every time because its the closest I could ever get. I feel like hes honestly a soul sucker and ruined my life and the only way I can see this being fixed, is obviously never going to happen.
He said he did once when he was drunk but thats it. I feel so trapped and theres nothing I can do about it. I was with him last night, then in the daytime I saw him on periscope with the girl hes talking to. She didn't know the camera was on when she talked about him and how she met him ect. I heard all of it and I felt like a creeper, then he walked up and kissed her in the video.
I don't know what to do. Its making me depressed and theres nothing I can do about it because its not his fault. I feel like a terrible person.
>>
>>17429577
This is very accurate. Just think about it..
>>
Guys--

Why do you get so butthurt when I tell you that I only like black guys? You think just because I'm white I need to date a white person? lol, please.

Black men just do it better, every woman knows this but is afraid to admit it. Women want a strong, confident man with soul. No one wants a little wimpy depressed white kid. Go play your video games you pale losers, I want a man who will treat me like a queen, and that's only something a black gentleman can provide.

Black people are funnier, have more muscle, goal oriented, and are MUCH better in bed. The last white guy I slept with I almost laughed when he put it in because it was barely bigger than my lil vibrator. A black man strokes it right, they get me to orgasm several times while pussy little white kids are all anxious about their feelings and their performance while a black man just gets the job done.

Just bow your head and accept 2nd place. Stop being so mad just because you're not at the top of the chain, at least you're better than asians. I'm sure a nice lady will settle for some of you if she can't find a good, dominant black guy. (which most of them are)
>>
>>17429712

This was the ask anything thread, not the get it off your chest thread, but you've trapped yourself, get out.

The more time you spend around him, the harder you make it for yourself, and more you'll hurt and fuck your future chances up with anyone else after.

Get out now, make a clean break, be sad, get over it, live your life.

Right now you're just prolonging and picking at the wound, not letting it heal.
>>
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>>17429739

Who do we have here? Aha I knew it!
>>
>>17429577
Taking a shit and getting fucked in the pussy is not comparable. Getting fucked in the ass is more comparable, except it it can be much more painful. But if I am completely relaxed and have ample warm up time, it only hurts the first couple pumps then just pleasure. Getting fucked in the pussy is just pleasure, unless Im not really turned on or into it, which would make me less wet, less open. It can hurt after a while of successively powerful thrusting and certain angles are painful for me personally, because it makes dick hit too deep. Think the pain of a really sore muscle from working out too much or if you rubbed your skin really raw, that kind of pain. So probably like if you jerked it too much and made it raw/sore to the touch.
>>
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>>17429739

Enjoy the AIDS.
>>
>>17429577
you dont have nerve endings in your asshole like that you fucking tardo
>>
>>17428578
My friend is going through a separation right now. Would it be a dick move to go after them? My friend and their partner live in separate houses and are "dating to get to know each other " before a divorce happens. My friend says worse comes to worse in 2 years they will be officially divorced but if they work things out then that's okay too.
Am I setting myself up for ruining my friendship?
>>
>>17429577
also, you didnt have to ask that in such a fucktarded convoluted manner. you could have literally asked

>hey sluts that take it in the ass, how does anal feel compared to vaginal sex?

but m-muh thoughts and analysis and shit. actually, get fucked in the ass and see for yourself
>>
>>17429804
>>17429798
Not him, but you're a fucking moron. That wasn't what he was asking at all. Reread what he said, the thing about anal sex was clearly an add-on.
>>
>>17429739
I know this is bait but in case its not black guys on average are pretty much the same in terms of size and not all of them are "muscular". Plenty of fat black guys as well. I dont care about interracial relationships but youre coming off as a cunt.
>>
>>17428987
>but she's had prior experiences with sexual abuse before
There is a STRONG chance you might (I hate to say it) trigger her. If you wish to do this safe words and after care are major things that will help
>>17429023
Is right it is a common thing with survivors. Talk to her.
>>
Has anyone here done jury duty? Im wondering if Ill miss work. Im called in to jury every day at 10 in the morning. I work at 4. This shit is so inconvenient I cant wait till its over.
>>
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>I'm just afraid it might be weird.
>If it is, that's ok.
>Like we can just go back?
>I don't see why not. Just one date. Try it on.
>I'll think about it.

4/5 I fucked it up.

Ladies, is your answer generally made up long before a guy asks you out? If it's not there, it's not there and I understand that. I just feel like that's a nice way of shooting me down.
>>
Ladies,

Do you prefer to be considered sexy or cute?
>>
>>17429374
Hell to the fucking no. Feminists are pathological liars, manipulators and hypocrites. They'll say absolutely anything to get what they want and make their public image seem good but do the opposite in reality.
>>
>>17429850
Unrelated but the girl who this guy is seeing >>17429712
Is supposed to be super feminist. Hes quite the opposite, when I first met him he was actually against feminism. What kind of feminist goes out with someone like that on purpose? He doesn't even respect women.. at all. Its just all very ironic to me.
>>
Ladies

>Is it weird for a guy to have a cat
>>
>>17429273
>>17429295
>>17429312
>>17429456
Wow, there are people who don't like Trump this much on this site
>>
>>17429867
No! I find it more strange thata single guy living alone doesn't have a pet at all. Like not even a fish. Or worse they hate cats and dogs.
>>
>>17429840
Both is best, but if I have to choose just one, I'll choose cute.

Though I'd choose beautiful over either.
>>
>>17428578
>girl likes me
>I kinda like her
BUT
>I'm a khv
>She's had at least seven partners that I know of, so probably fucked many more people I don't know about

I'm realistic, I don't want some "pure innocent qtpi virgin", but it still makes me uncomfortable.
>>
I've been super close friends with this girl for a couple years now. We were casual acquaintances for longer than that, seeing each other at parties every now and then kind of shit. I invited her to a party i was throwing at a convention and i got super drunk, made a move and got shut down. She and I became close friends after i sobered up the next day and apologized. She was fine with it, but was in a pretty serious relationship so nothing happened. Fast forward to april and she and her boyfriend break up. We start hanging out in person more (she moved about an hour north after college) and we flirt sometimes, and she stays over whenever she's in town and we go out drinking. last night we were texting and i keep drinking after she goes to bed, and I asked her out. She responded with "Did you seriously just drunken ask me on a date in the middle of the night? Maybe." Nothing seems awkward today, if anything flirting is heavier than usual. Do you guys think I have a chance? Recovering NEET, I'm still getting out of the mindset
>>
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>>17429839
I want to go back to 2008.
>>
do girls stop texting you when they think you are mad at them? a close friend of hers told me that she thinks im mad at her.

we rarely spoke on the phone or texted each other in the first place, and for what its worth, we've been intimate 3-4 times
>>
>>17429867
It's not weird in itself, but I've found that cat people are generally weird
>>
>>17429839
Yeah it is. Just cancel the date, from the looks of your green text she might do the one date out of pitty. If you want to be friends fine, but to be honest you might be better just going separate ways for a bit so you can heal.
>>
Kind of a specific question here.

>girl and I have been crushing on each other for a while now
>almost fucked a couple of times
>both really enjoy each others personalities
>both just came out of relationships
>both cheated on some past partners before
>both know a relationship won't work between us

The situation is that she's invited me to spend a night alone with her in a cabin in the middle of nowhere. I'm pretty sure we'll fuck but would it be wise? I'm not sure if either of us have the willpower to keep it just fwb.
>>
>>17429961
Only chance you have at being a proper couple is if both of you go to extensive therapy to fix the reasons why you cheated in the past, then be clear about those reasons with each other.
Otherwise, you'll just be fwb who both have feelings but will both hurt each other because you're both complete asshats who can't control themselves.
A cheater once can cheat again, unless they've truly changed. And you can't just magically change who you are without professional help or some absolutely insane motivation. It also sounds like at least one of you will be making the other a rebound because you need to fill the void.
If you really want to be more than fwb, go for close to 6 months or so without actually becoming a couple. That way you have time for the honeymoon period to die off and you can see if you could stomach being with each other without hurting one another.
>>
>>17428641
It means the aggressive guy that goes for what he wants is an 8/10. Aggressive means ambitious, tenacious, and sure of himself and of his capabilities.
>tired of white guys, she said "I've never met a white guy that is aggressive and goes for what he wants" and that she's only interested in the "darker shades" guys because apparently to her they have this trait or whatever.
Can thank pop culture for that one. This is like feminists convincing everyone that numales are what every girl really wants.
>I think I've been pretty "aggressive" and throwing a lot of hints
Ehh you've not quite got the hang of this yet. For girls like her you wanna adopt an attitude of I'd like to bang you but I won't really give that much of a fuck if it doesn't happen. I kinda want you I def don't need you, basically.
>seems like she doesn't know what she wants
>is this trait common for women?
Hallmark of youth. For sure more common among chicks. Girls tend to be more social and more likely to consult the group when forming their opinions. Fashion, cultural, market, etc trends capitalize on this.
>Also what do you think about the girl I'm interested in?
>>"I put my kid first and any guy who doesn't understand that isn't worth my time. I deserve a Real Man."
I think when you see her in 5 years reposting that on fb you'll have a good laugh to yourself and wonder what the fuck you were thinking.
Pursue her if you want, wear a condom if she lets you hit it.

>>17428652
>guys
Nope
>bf
It's a nice gesture, it's appreciated and reciprocated, and it's not a substitute for affection attention or getting to spend time together.

>>17428731
Redemption. Being hurt sometimes fucks people up in very lasting ways. Speaking of, just in case: Don't carry this with you. Realize the problem was with her and not with you.

>>17429077
It's done more harm than good.

>>17429253
MAGA obviously.

>>17429275
Not very. Size queens are a thing but I'm not even sure they do this.

>>17429374
Overall? lolno.
>>
How would you recognise "real" anger issues?

My bf is afraid that he has anger issues because sometimes, usually when he's already in a physical fight (but with no real reason - like during a sports game), he really wants to hurt the other guy (even if they're best friends) and can barely stop himself

He was really upset the last time it happen, mostly because of the feeling of not controlling himself, so I suggested that he could seek psychological help. But then I googled a bit and the anger issues treated by psychologists seem to be more related to the entire personality: people with anger issues easily get irritated, call their partners offensive names, lash out often etc. My bf isn't like that at all - I don't remember him ever getting angry at me even if I'm in an irritating mood myself, he's only upset about things or people for valid reasons and never violent, aggressive or offensive, he doesn't even like rough sex.

So the only problem are the rare moments when he feels like he really wants to hurt the other person (always a male) and can't control himself. I thought it might be a sign of a deep buried feeling of helplessness (one of his parents died when he was really young, but old enough to remember them well, and he never really got over it), but maybe it's normal... I don't know what to think anymore
>>
Females:

Your boyfriend makes you cum before he puts it in. But, he cums almost the moment he penetrates you. This happens fairly often. How do you feel?
>>
>>17430077
It's okay for me. I usually just suck my boyfriend off and go for another round.
>>
>>17430054
I'm a guy who knows he has anger issues, genetically passed down from father, and imprinted from seeing my father and his father's issues at a young age. He sounds a lot like me. The only time I've ever gotten mad at my ex-gfs has been when we've broken up, but otherwise I never lashed out at them unless there was a serious reason, and even then, I never attacked them directly, perhaps just a weird mentality they had towards something. I'd also recognize it, and I'd even set up some kind of 'agree to disagree' system in one case, where if either side recognized we were getting heated, we'd stop.
I'm a highly competitive person, perhaps it's insecurities, perhaps I just don't want to let myself feel inferior to someone in something (other than the person I'm with - I have no issue with them being better than me at something), so my anger gets the best of me. I still avoid physical conflict, but I don't mind arguing with people.

He sounds like me, he probably has anger issues, but it's not something you can fix overnight. It takes recognizing the problems and recognizing what upsets you. Then, it takes self-awareness and control to start telling yourself to stop when you recognize you'll get heated. Usually by telling the other person and walking away. If they continue, it's their fault for continuing despite knowing how he feels about it.
Therapy overall is a good idea for more problems, but I can assure you that it rarely does anything for anger issues. It might teach someone that they have anger issues, but anger issues are something only you can deal with via proper conditioning, and you need proper motivation. Therapy can't really give you that.
>>
>>17428641
>never met a white guy that us aggressive and goes for what he wants

ditch her immediately, because clearly she's never opened a history book
>>
>>17429986
Redemption for what? She needed to be redeemed for getting hurt so she went for a rebound? He redeemed himself for whatever hurt her, so she went back?
But don't worry, I don't plan on taking it personally. She literally told me I was the perfect boyfriend and this was just because she was an awful person. I don't really agree with her, but so be it. Can't force her to stay.
Thanks, though.
>>
Why don't gay men play sports?
>>
>>17430105
I'm sure there's a bunch of gay dudes who play football. The entire basis is a bunch of burly, sweaty men tackling each other to the floor to grab balls. Usually en masse.
>>
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>tfw I get most of my interaction with women in these threads.
>>
>>17430119
Same desu famalam. I just play vidya and sometimes chicks like to talk to me, have an LDR, then get my heart broken.
Fuck going outside, though.
>>
>>17430089
Thanks, that's actually really helpful

Now I just need to find a way to bring it up before his next problematic situation
>>
>>17430119
Same here to be honest. I like to think I help roasties gain a new perspective on life.
>>
>>17430136
>calling women who post in these threads rosties
No wonder most of your female interactions come from these threads. Fucking robots
>>
>>17429374
Not really. First because culture is also perpetuated by women (you know, the other 50% of humanity) and secondly because feminism and patriarchy are defined so broadly you can't pretend there's no overlap.
>>
>>17429412
>>17429432
>Guy here but I'm sure a femanon can back me up on it.
Yup. Nailed it. Super liking only works if it's mutual. In that case it's great. No better feeling. In all other cases it's coming on way too strong and the whole thing will get borked before it's even begun.

>>17429496
Words and actions being inconsistent has that effect. You think you now have reasons to be worried. What are they?

>>17429712
Oh honey. Clean break is the best thing you can do for yourself. It'll hurt like a motherfucker. Then it'll stop hurting (unlike now where it just hurts and hurts and there's no end in sight. Emotional pain starts fading as soon as you start letting it.) He should've had the decency to cut things off between you when you told him you'd caught feelings instead of continuing on as if nothing had changed. You're gonna have to be strong enough to let go yourself and move on. Meet someone who wants to be with you just as much as you want to be with him, and you'll wonder why you ever fell for a guy who didn't.

>>17429739
yawn

>>17429800
Absolutely, yes.
More than likely, yes.

>>17429834
>not notifying your employer like it tells you to do on the summons
Pretty sure your employer isn't allowed to object or penalize you for it.

>>17429840
No preference really. Compliment's a compliment and both of those are nice ones to get. If I'm very obviously going for one, getting called the *other* one instead purely to fuck with me is fun too.

>>17429867
Nope.

>>17429925
Yep.

>>17429928
Yep.

>>17429961
You already know where this road ends. Up to you whether you want to try going down it.

>>17430054
Sounds more like an impulse control thing than an anger thing. If he's genuinely concerned about losing his grip on that self-control, speaking to a therapist wouldn't be a bad idea. The odd impulse is normal enough. Acting on them is where problems arise.
>>
>>17430103
Redemption of her own self worth.

You pour yourself into someone who throws it all away like it's nothing, it leaves you feeling like shit, right? Sometimes this thing comes in where you subconsciously recognize that anybody who would do that must be an asshole. Then from there you subconsciously recognize that you being thrown away must mean you weren't even good enough for some asshole. And boom, self-worth gone down the shitter + you remain seriously hung up on the person who threw you away like nothing.

He broke something in her. Wanting to be taken back by him feels like an undo button will get pressed and fix the broken. It of course won't fix shit and doesn't work that way but try telling that to a wounded psyche. (Hence the "I'm an awful person" remark.)
>>
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Women

I'll try to keep this as neutral as possible

How the fuck is your brain wired? Do you have any sense of loyalty? Or hurting other people's feelings? How is it even fucking possible you from 0 to 180 and completely fuck over a person for one thing they did to you and you basically do it tenfold to them without remorse?

Like not even the worst guy I know would fucking do that to someone they loved like that but it seems like something rather casual on women. Am I wrong, or how is it
>>
>>17430169
From the sounds of it, you've been through this or know, at least to some extent, what's going on. What's the chances she realizes it was an awful mistake and comes back when she realizes he's still just as bad?
Obviously, I don't plan to take her back unless she does something miraculous, but I just want to make sure to prepare for whether or not I'll have to play the cunt down the line and tell her how it is. Or just ignore her.
>>
>>17430192
I can see you had a bad experience, but stop it.
Some women are loyal, some aren't. Some men are loyal, some aren't.
Some people worry genuinely about other people's feelings, some don't.
I have been hurt by girls and by guys. Being an asshole is not a gendered thing.
>>
>>17430194
Fug. Ok yeah, there's just too many unknown variables here for me to feel like any prediction I might try to make could be solid. There's a chance. That much is all I can tell you. How much of a chance, what's likely to happen, etc...I just have no clue which way it ought to end up going.

Any idea what happened between them? Also what's she like? How does she handle stuff, react to stuff, personality traits of hers, whatever you can tell me.
>>
>>17430223
Eh, don't worry too much about it if you're feeling pressured to learn about the situation. The way you spoke made it feel like the trope was common, and I thought you might have just known if there was just some magical flowchart chicks follow for this stuff.
Like I said, I don't actually want anything to do with her. 'There's a chance' is enough of a reason for me to at least keep in mind that one day I might have to deal with this demon again.
But to actually answer your questions, she's normally nice as fuck, but was cold as hell when I asked about him. I know absolutely nothing about him, specifically, as I think she likes to keep boyfriends separate (due to past issues with ex boyfriends stalking her and her new relationships). Her past is full of really, really shit boyfriends, though, so it could just be a bad case of stockholm and he was someone who messed with her. She's also someone who doesn't like to talk about her problems at all. To anyone. To the point where here parents don't even know about the numerous times she's been raped even when they were on the verge of disowning her for it.
What she does isn't my concern anymore, though. Don't worry too much about it. As I said, I was kinda just hoping there was some magical hotwired flowchart in female brains, if there's not, don't wrack your brain over it. The stuff you've given me is already more than enough.
>>
>>17429739
You really need to work on the bait. That BR that spammed cuck porn on int was much more effective because he didnt try to make up shitty stories.

>>17430054
It sounds less like an anger issue and more like he's struggling to deal with the fight or flight reaction. In which case I'm thinking something like martial arts might be useful.
>>
>>17430271
Other anger issue guy who responded to him here. Trained in martial arts for more of my life, it'll help with self discipline, but if he's likely to get involved in fights, it'll just means he's now better at solving those fights with better violence. It works in reverse for a lot of people, and they'll become confident and cocky.
>>
>>17430276
He was upset that he lost control during a fight, that sounds more like a flood of adrenaline than underlying emotional issues to me. The whole reason I suggested martial arts would be to get better control over it.

Sure the fights would probably end more quickly and more towards his favor, but at the same time he would have enough discipline to stay in control and prevent himself from doing anything stupid.
>>
Every time this girl at work goes on her break or leaves for home, she finds me on the floor and starts telling me the most random things about her day.
I always catch her looking down my aisle from her register and then yesterday my friend who works with her said she was asking him about me.
So I did my shopping and went to her register.
Asked her if she had plans for the weekend and if she'd like to hangout.
Got a yes, but another time because she has sport.

The thing is shes 17 and im 24. She has fb pics of her out drinking with guys so I figured her parents must be chill...

So whats it like dating someone much younger than you?
I plan to enjoy my 20s for a long time to come, have a lot of plans which involve just studying and part time work until I can get into med school.
I think im empathetic and intelligent enough to date someone much younger than I and not screw them up (seen this so many times, especially at work with older guys/younger girls...)
>>
Why is it bad to refuse to experiment with the opposite gender?

Why is it bad to be 100% heterosexual?

Also, am I a perverted sexist asshole if I have a penis?
>>
>>17430302
Whatever you do with your penis is fine, as long as you don't hurt others with it.
No reasonable person will ever question for not fucking a dude.
>>
>>17430077
As long as he's made me orgasm, I'm game.

>>17429928
I wouldn't initiate a conversation with a guy I thought was ghosting me or angry with me, no. And probably would ignore texts that were coming off as passive aggressive.
What did you do to make her mad?
>>
>>17430316
>I wouldn't date a guy who I thought ... was angry with me
So you never resolve issues, ever, if someone is waiting for an apology? If you think they're mad at you, then you have reasons to suspect you did something, yet you wouldn't even try to figure it out?
>>
>>17430320
I said I wouldn't text him back. Things get lost in translation over text, especially if the recipient is emotional, and so would best try to resolve it in person.
>>
Girls, does the smell of cigarettes bother you a lot?

I'm going to ask out a girl I like on a date and I'm wondering if that'll lower my chances of success since I smoke about ten cigarettes a day and I'm bothered that a possible residual smell could be on my clothes and body from the cigarettes when I ask her out.
>>
What can I do for my boyfriend to show how much I appreciate him?(can't be physical since we're temporarily long distance, otherwise I'd blow him) we tell each other I love you alot but it just doesn't feel like enough to me.
>>
>>17430348
It doesn't bother me, but I am an ex smoker.
It bothers my friends who don't smoke.
>>
>>17430348
Guy here
I can't stand the smell, and it would be an instant red flag for a girl
I guess it's the same for girls: some bother, some don't.
>>
>>17430348
Yuck, gross. I think smokers are selfish, and hate it when I have to inhale their second hand smoke, so would definitely be a turn off.
>>
Thanks for the perspectives.

>>17430351
>>17430353
>>17430359

I've been gradually giving up smoking for a year reducing my consumption of cigarettes but even if I give up, I still have a few friends I aquaint myself with that smoke often.

Should I just stop going to parties with them to rid myself of the habit and smell to improve my chances since they're the only people I smoke with?
>>
>>17429757
Out of curiosity what is the AIDS rating on east asians in the US?
>>
>>17430366
Yes. My dad was also a smoker, and would always try to quit but would give in whenever he socialised with his smoker friends. It's a lot easier without the temptation.
>>
>>17430316
Actually, she thinks he is mad at her and he wants to know if she isn't talking to him because of it.
>>
>>17430366
No. Ex smoker here. All my friends smoke and I don't. If you decide to quit, just quit. It wasn't a huge deal for me. I smoke a cigarette once every couple of years at best, and most of my friends smoke 20-30 cigarettes every day. If you have some sort of self control, it shouldn't be an issue.
>>
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LADIES:

At what age do you plan to have kids? And how many do you want?

I'm a 25 year old male. The only thing I want from life is kids. Preferably 3 at least. I want to know whether womens' expectations these days are the same.
>>
>>17430415
Before I turn 30 - around 27 would be ideal. I have to finish med school and have some other things to sort out before having kids.
>>
>>17430417
Okay, but fertility drops off a cliff after 30. So if you want multiple kids then surely you'll have to start sooner than that?

I'm really shitting myself about this at the moment. I really want multiple kids. But with the trend of women wanting to delay kids, it's inevitable that many aren't going to have as many kids as they want.
>>
>>17430415
Your mileage is going to vary. Some women are going to prioritize their career, and it's probably not best to pursue them if the family life is what you really want.

Meanwhile there are lots of women who do want kids, sooner than later too.
>>
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>>17430420
Fertility doesn't drop off a cliff after 30. You can easily have 3+ kids if you have one every couple of years starting at 27 (27, 29, 31, 33, 35). After 35, chances seriously start reducing (pic related).

I'd like to have one or two kids (preferably one), so it wouldn't be a huge issue for me.
>>
>>17430415
No kids. Ever. If it wasn't against my religion, I would have had been sterilised by now.
>>
>>17430438
Are you a woman? You are right and I will try and find a woman who wants lots of kids.

>>17430453
>You can easily have 3+ kids if you have one every couple of years starting at 27 (27, 29, 31, 33, 35)
No, you can't. You're assuming that EVERYTHING is going to go according to plan. That you're going to have NO problems in conceiving. The vast majority of women who leave it that late are not going to have 5 children. The toll that will take on your body is big.

The ideal time to start having children, of course, is your early 20s (or even late teens). That's how you give yourself the best chance of having as many children as possible.

>I'd like to have one or two kids (preferably one), so it wouldn't be a huge issue for me.
Damn, this generation is seriously fucked isn't it...
>>
>>17430465
>Are you a woman?
Nope. I am friends with some women that are in so many words embarrassed that they want to be a housewife though.

>>17430453
>You can easily have 3+ kids if you have one every couple of years starting at 27 (27, 29, 31, 33, 35).
I think you're discounting just how hard that'll be on your body. It's fine if you want just one or two children as you stated, but 5? That shit can take a toll on your body even if you start it young, hell take a look at the bunners that start that shit at 18.
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>>17430470
>Nope. I am friends with some women that are in so many words embarrassed that they want to be a housewife though.
I think it's absolutely terrible that being a housewife is now considered "shameful". And it explains why our fertility rates are dropping. It's a sorry state of affairs really.
>>
>>17430465
The vast majority of women who start trying to have kids at 27 manage to get pregnant before a year.
Of course the ideal time to have kids biologically is the late teens/early 20s, but it is not unlikely to have a lot of kids even if you start late.
I don't want to have many kids if I can't provide well for them. I think it's useless to have 10 kids if I can't send them all to top universities, make them travel, give them the best chances. I'd rather have one or two successful kids. That's what I can afford without getting in debt.

>>17430470
Having 5 kids destroys your body whenever you start. Of course it is going to be worse the older you are, but it is not impossible and not even that unlikely.
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>>17430486
>The vast majority of women who start trying to have kids at 27 manage to get pregnant before a year.
But they're not going to have FIVE children like you suggest.
>I think it's useless to have 10 kids if I can't send them all to top universities, make them travel, give them the best chances.
I think this is the problem with today's generation. Everybody has a Disney view of life. Guess what - those materialistic things are incredibly unimportant.
>successful
At the end of the day the only "success" that will matter is how many kids they have, and whether they can provide for them.

>it is not impossible and not even that unlikely.
It's incredibly unlikely if you start at 27.
>>
>>17430500
I posted a graph a couple of posts ago about fertility rate each month. It doesn't really drop before 35.It doesn't even really lower that much before 32 (a 20 year old has 1/4 chance to get pregnant each month, a 32 year old has a 1/5 chance).
Of course it's easier and more intelligent to start early if you want to have a lot of kids - young body recover quickly, and there's no point on working on your career if you want to be a housewife (and if you want to have 5 kids, I doubt you can do much else).
But from a fertility point of view, it's not like having kids after 25 is impossible.

>Those materialistic things are incredibly unimportant.
I don't believe that education and experiences are materialistic. Learning and getting in touch with different cultures is the best way to grow as an individual. I think humans have sensibility, intelligence and the capabilities to be more than procreation machines.
I want kids to be happy human beings and to have the chances to do whatever they want in life, without economic limitations. I would be happy if my daughter wanted to stay at home and have 10 kids if it makes her happy, I would be happy if my daughter wanted to become the first woman who walked on Mars if that made her happy.
I want to be able to provide them the means to make the choices they prefer.
Money is a mean to get things that make you happy. I wouldn't pay a Ferrari for them, but if my son got into Oxford I would like to have the money to pay for it. If my daughter asked me to travel around to study a new language, or to study abroad for a year, I want to be able to provide for it.

>It's incredibly unlikely if you start at 27.
I know at least 2 women who had 5 kids after 25.
One is a nurse that works with me and has 10 kids, she had the first when she was 23 and the last when she was 38.
One is the mother of one of my best friends, she is a doctor so she graduated at 25 and she had 6 kids.
>>
my gf randomly said to me today 'why don't you smile in photos :)?'. I went through a period where I didn't really smile in photos (no idea why just guess I didn't) but all the more recent ones from the past few years on fb I smile. I have her parents and best friend on fb so I'm wondering if they've said something to her/planted a seed?
>>
I hate you cunts so fucking much. On some level I rejoice in the fact that Europe will fall to Islam, so you whores will get what's coming for you. You treasonous leftist degenerates. In your wonderful multicultural utopia, you'll be nothing but cumdumpsters for mudslimes.
>>
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Question to girls:

Does being in a relationship with someone who have few experiences bother you ?
I'm 22 and was never really interested in being with someone, but i'm thinking about changing my mind.
Would it be annoying for you to teach relationships to a beginner ?

I'm asking this because i had both answers from females friends.
>>
>>17430415
I don't plan to have kid but I'm not dead set against it. I look at this decision really seriously and pragmatically and there are just too many factors for me to be able to say definitively yes or no.
>>
Girls:

Have you ever been in a relationship with a bisexual guy? Can you tell me your experiences? Like how it was different or harder/easier than other relationships because of that factor?
>>
>>17430600
Women hate virgins and inexperienced dudes m8. They won't say it to your face, but to them, you being a virgin just signals that you are a weird unwanted creep. Women need the validation of other women for their decisions and to them your virgin status is a clear indication of other women rejecting you making you into a poor candidate for a relationship.
>>
>>17430600
>Does being in a relationship with someone who have few experiences bother you ?
Not really, no.

>Would it be annoying for you to teach relationships to a beginner ?
Yes, in a way. I wouldn't mind some little fuck ups, and I am very upfront about things I don't like - I think that every relationship is different and you learn what your partner like/doesn't like as you go.
But on the other hand, I'd prefer if my partner had a rough idea about what he wants out of a relationship, about efficient communication, and all this kind of things. I know what I want and I don't want to be with someone passive, indecisive or socially incompetent.
>>
>>17430600
this >>17430616
however it's still just one of many factors. if you're a cool guy then it's really not a big deal at all and nobody will think you're a creep
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>>17430616
We don't. For most women virginity isn't a dealbreaker.
Being virgin after a certain age is odd. If I met a 25 year old who never had sex, I would be weirded out.
Also - there is a reason if you're still virgin after a certain age and that reason might be a dealbreaker. If you're virgin because you were busy doing other things or because you were a mormon, I would date you. If you're virgin because you're absolutely socially incompetent and utterly autistic, I wouldn't.
>>
>>17430550
bumping
>>
>>17430616
This. Any guy who is past 20 and has zero experience might as well give up hope. Women won't want you.
>>
>>17429739
>goal oriented
obvious bait
>>
Ladies:

The woman I've started dating is 22 years old. I'm 26. We've had sex already but one night I offered to eat her out and she said no but that she's never had it done to her before. My question is: is oral going to be a good experience for her on her first time if she's not 100% sold on it being a good experience?
>>
>>17430415
I never want kids, but if I did it'd be less about age and more about when the relationship is stable enough to handle them, and when I can afford them. This unfortunately means waiting at least a few years out of college while I build up a stable job. 25-27 maybe.

Maybe this is stereotypically why men tend to be the breadwinners and the older one in the relationship. Women can feel more financially secure for children when their husband is older and makes plenty of money. However, since in these days marriages have a shelf life of 10 years maximum, I would never settle down with someone if I didn't feel like I could support myself when they inevitably leave me.

Also everyone saying you can't have kids past 30 or whatever, my grandma had my dad at 45. And he's not retarded with multiple birth defects, he's actually a lawyer with a family (and only one wife which is an absolute fucking rarity these days) and 2 normal function kids.
Yeah there's more risk at that age, but it's not like "Instant downsbaby" by having a kid later in life.
>>
>>17430631
>If you're virgin because you're absolutely socially incompetent and utterly autistic, I wouldn't.
So the majority of virgin guys past the age of 20 are off your list then. Gotcha.
>>
>>17430655
It's subjective. I hate receiving oral. It could be mindblowing for her, or she might end up hating it.
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>>17430348
Yes. Smoke Instant dealbreaker. It smells disgusting, and all I can look at when I see a smoker is how they're opting to slowly kill themselves, all while yellowing their teeth, making them wheeze and cough up phlegm, and age themselves at a rapid pace.
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>>17430302
>Why is it bad to refuse to experiment with the opposite gender?
>Opposite
>Why is it bad to be 100% heterosexual?
>hetero
I'm going to assume you meant "experiment with the same gender"
It aint. Idk what kind of tumblr bullshit you're reading but I'd suggest stopping. I refuse to do anything with another woman. I was raped by a woman, even the thought of being sexual with a woman sets me off and makes me feel disgusting and violated.
Ain't nothing wrong with only wanting peen or poon exclusively man.
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>>17430661
Well, it's not because they're virgin, it's because they're socially incompetent and awkward.
I'd also reject most overweight guys because they are generally lazy, not motivated, not into my same lifestyle (I eat healthy, work out, hike, etc). My boyfriend is overweight, but still absolutely able to keep up with me (we hike, go running, spend a lot of time outside) and not lazy at all, and he doesn't complain about eating healthy when we're together (even if he eats junk food when he's alone).
Again, it's not being overweight itself, it's because of the implications.
>>
>>17430661
Why wouldn't it be?
If you can't function socially there is little chance to engage in a social activity. My virginity is an obvious consequence of my autism, same thing for the other guys.
>>
>>17430655
Yeah, I think if she's not on board with it 100% she'll likely have a negative experience. Let it be, if she ever decides she wants to try then give it a go.
She may just not even like the idea of it, or she may be self conscious about her look/smell/taste. Took me a long time to let my bf eat me, because I was convinced I smelled disgusting and that the gross roast beef I got going on would disgust him if he actually put his face in it.
>>
>>17430348
Not at all. But I am a smoker and I don't think I could date someone who isn't tolerant of it.

Even before I started smoking I was tolerant of it because my parents are smokers and my grandparents were used to it because half of their lives, smoking was everywhere.

I started smoking at the tender age of fifteen, and my bf started around then too. I am pretty immune to the smell and I don't smell it all over bf unless we literally just had a cigarette.
>>
>>17430676
Thanks. I haven't really pushed for it or brought it up other than 1-2 times. She does have some self image issues that's she's talked to me about so I guess that is a factor too.
>>
>>17428578
Asked in thread yesterday.
Both genders.
When would it be accepable to give a gift to a girl you dated/like.
is is socialy acceptable to give a gift, without any occasion?
>>
>>17430631
Being a Virgin means being bad at sex, and there are definitely a lot of women who will reject a man solely because he's not experienced enough in bed. Maybe not a majority but definitely a lot of women.

It's also a status thing. Studs are men with high social status, virgins are low status. And most women are obsessed with status.
>>
>>17430740
Something either free or incredibly inexpensive I'd say is fine once you've been on a couple dates. However I'd save any even medium sized gift giving until you're in the "official" relationship phase.
When you've been with them as your bf/gf for a little while, I think it's fine to give gifts for no occasion, however they should not be frequent and should still be rather inexpensive. Save expensive gifts for special occasions.
Also I find that gifts that you two can use together, or are memorbilia from an event, are far better than just giving a material gift just for them to use.
For example, had a bf surprise me with concert tickets for a band I loved. While it was a little more expensive than I felt comfortable with, I appreciated it and in return bought us both matching tshirts from the concert. He essentially bought me a very cool date, and I bought him a tshirt he could remember that date by.
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>>17430762
>>/r9k/
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>>17430766
>He said things I don't like but I can't find anything to refute
>I'll just call him a robot that'll show him!!!
>>
>>17430762
>Being a Virgin means being bad at sex
Completely untrue. The girl who took my virginity didn't believe I had been a virgin when I told her afterwards.
>>
>>17430769
Obviously It's not true in literally every single case but as a general rule yes men with less existence are worse in bed, and many women will view that as a dealbreaker.
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>>17430768
See >>17430769

The only thing making you bad at sex is the mentality that Virgin=bad sex. Go figure, going into something thinking you'll be bad at it will fulfill your own prophecy.
Where as going into something with confidence thinking you're a stud, you'll actually be good at it. THATS the truth of the situation. Experience means literally nothing. Confidence does.
Fake it till you make it really does work robots. And heres the constant reminder that if you hate women, women clearly have no reason to like you. I'm still so baffled why people who go on about how women are materialistic, status obsessed whores, still desperately want attention from the very people they hate.
>>
>>17430764
good idea.
>>
>>17430780
I think the general rule of thumb in gift giving in general is to keep in mind that, provided the person you're giving a gift to isn't a golddigger, this person will probably feel obligated to return the favor in some way. Don't give a gift you think they can't return, don't give a gift outside their capabilities. If you're swimmin in cash and want to spend some on your sweetie, that's cool and very nice and generous of you, but consider if your sweetie's working paycheck to paycheck they may feel uncomfortable with the fact they can't give you a nice gift sometime too.
On the flip side, if you're only just seeing someone, consider that they may still be in the phase of "This could work out, but it could also not" and getting a big gift from you puts pressure on them to make it work even if it isn't, less they seem like a gold digger. You know?
>>
>>17430762
>Being a Virgin means being bad at sex
That's not necessarily true - having a lot of partners doesn't mean you're awesome, and having none doesn't mean you're awful. Some people are pretty intuitive in bed, and I actually came with my boyfriend when we lost our virginity to each other. And there's nothing bad with teaching someone how to please you, too.
In general, no one is awesome in bed because people are different.

> status thing
This is completely made up. My last 4 dates before I got my boyfriend where a model, a kissless virgin, a NEET and a army guy. I ended up dating a overweight christian preacher who is 12 years older than me.
>>
>>17430773
Some women like the thought of a less experienced man, because she can have the comfort of knowing there aren't a fuck ton of other women for him to compare her to, bring up old sex stories with his mates, etc. I have dated inexperienced men and liked that I could be the one to give him some of his "firsts" in the bedroom.
>>
>>17430776
Gosh you're right. For example I've never been golfing before but I'm sure if I act confident I'll be a pro it. Thanks anon!
Some guys are good their first time. Many are not. That's a fact that only a retard would dispute
>>
>>17430795
>Status
Obviously there are exceptions, and obviously people on /adv/ are not representative normies.
Maybe you would date a dungeon master instead of the captain of the football team but most women would not.
>>
Girls

My girlfriend was kind of a cunt yesturday. She had a shit day at work and wasn't really cuddly or anything when I slept over.

She was kind of in a bitchy mood as well.

She did however hold my hand a few times throughout the night and we fooled around thismorning.

Is it due to her having a shit day most likely? Are any of you femanons the same way? It was probably nothing but just want some opinions.
>>
>>17430807
The "captain of the football team" is most likely physically fit, attractive, confident and socially competent.
Again, it's the same as virginity. It's not the status itself, but what it implies. It's not the virginity itself, but what it implies.
>>
>>17430821
Yes when you're preoccupied by something upsetting like having a shitty day or being worried about something it can be hard to be affectionate. Sometimes you're just in a bad mood and you need a bit of time to get over it.
>>
Ok so you can laugh at me and call me aspie as long as you help.

I don't understand girls being friendly and girls wanting to sex.

I use to be really unfriendly and not talk. Then I decided to be friendly
To people. Is talk to girls as friends and I never touched them never said anything sexual. Basically every time I tried to be friendly they got upset I didn't want to sex. Now I went back to being unfriendly and girls smile at me and guys are always friendly. I asked advice before why are girls smiling at me and acting This way. Told me I had Autism and people are being nice. so how do I be nice without them liking me? I have a good time making guy friends and I assumed if I was friendly to girls in the same way they would be cool and be friends. I'm taking about at school and social outings you know where you should be nice to people.
>>
>>17430316
>>17430378
thanks for your replies.

anyone else care to chime in?
>>
>>17430127
>and sometimes chicks like to talk to me, have an LDR, then get my heart broken

yikes senpai
i know how you feel
>>
for both guys and girls i guess. does your hair look thinner if your scalp is all oily, like if havent showered in over a day?
>>
Women: what are you good for besides cleaning, cooking and sex?
>>
>>17430860
Mine does and is kind of hallmark to me if I see someones hair with that same greasy stringy look; that they havent washed it recently. Theres also a specific smell Ive noticed to unwashed hair. Ive smelled it in my hair and others like my sister's and my boyfriend's.
>>
>>17430890
We listen to you talk. Even about the things youre afraid to tell your best friends about, like feelings. We validate your existence as men and stroke your ego, among other things you mentioned.
>>
Okay ladies.

Let's say you're in a long term relationship. Going on 3+ years, you've already talked about marriage and know where eachother stand and know that's the expected outcome of the relationship at a future undisclosed point.

But, in the past you cheated on him, he found out, and despite it all. You still end up together, but of course with a bit of baggage now in the relationship to hang over your heads.

How would you feel as the one who ruined everything from the start if you later found out he started to cheat on you a ways into the relationship?
>>
>>17430890
I want to point out first that you're question is deeply stupid.

But, also - I do believe that there's some truth behind the "Behind every great men there is a great woman".
I think that relationships can really bring the best out of you. A good woman is able to understand your weaknesses, and help you handle them. She's able to support you and encourage you. She's able to take care of you when you're at your worst and believe in you.
>>
>>17430955
>you're
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>>17430800
>Golf is totally the same thing as social skills.
Ok friend. Enjoy your self fulfilling mediocrity.
>>
>>17430949
I would dump him immediately. Two wrongs don't make one right.
If he wasn't over it, he should have left me. If someone decides to stay with me, he has no justification for cheating or for treating me badly.
>>
>>17430956
Duh. I just started using iPhone keyboard and can't type for shit.

*your
>>
Girls, post a picture of what you think is the absolute perfect male body.
>>
>>17430949

Pissed off that I wasted my time staying instead of starting over like the logical thing to do.
>>
>>17430949
The only future I see for either of you is a nasty divorce. Ffs if you don't even like one another enough to not stab each other in the back why the fuck are you together?
You clearly don't forgive her, so why are you staying? Just as a placeholder until you find something else?
>>
>>17430959
>>17430966
>>17430970

>if I cheat it's okay, if he cheats we're breaking up.
>>
>>17430964
I can't find a good picture since they're all far too muscular,
but the stage right before ottermode. Super skinny, tall, lengthy, very little muscle, hardly any in arms at all. Like maybe slight abs, but not really defined and hardly noticeable.
>>
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So uh women

How thin is the line between between being a creep and just trying to hit on you?

Is the line just existant if you're bad looking? I don't think I'll even bother approaching women IRL at this point if what happens is soul crushing humillation. Should I just go for tinder?
>>
>>17430981
Not what I said in any way shape or form f a m. Stop projecting your insecurity.
I'm saying if he had an issue with her cheating he should have just broken it off instead of stooping to her level. If you openly admit being cheated on was shitty, why would you do the same? Petty revenge? Well good luck then, in the long run petty revenge will not make you feel any better, but hey, she's a cunt so whatever.
Like if that mythical person that can genuinely get around a partner cheating on them exists (protip they dont), then there would be no reason to cheat.
>>
Girls. I need insight and stories.

M'y GF is waiting for her period, which should have happened yesterday.
Now, it happened before. She even was late for two months once before she started having sex.

She has the usual symptôms she gets before every period, (which are also present during a pregnancy so not helping. But she doesnt have any symptôms specific to pregnancy).

Anyone been through what appears to be a false alarm, and might remain one?
I just need someone else to talk to.
>>
>>17431000
She had no reason to cheat in the first place. The guy cheating is over her cheating in the past.

Cheating usually falls into ones lap, and it's an act on that moment. Not some pre meditated act. It has nothing to do with the past of the relationship, just something that happened all on it's own merits in the heat of the moment.

The guy was able to get over it, but the woman isn't?
>>
>>17430992
The type of women who think guys are creeps just for not being conventionally attractive are cunts who are insecure themselves and need the powertrip to get through their miserable fat ugly lives.
I had a dude who I considered a -1/10 come hit on me. I was flattered, because nobody ever has the balls to talk to me. I wasn't interested in him, but I was glad for the attempt.
If you actually have the courage to approach women, that already says a lot for you mate. Most guys don't have that these days. Go for it, and remember even if you get the rare cunt to laugh in your face (this will likely never happen thanks to social rules), remember she's just a cunt with a childish and disgusting personality you dont need in your life anyways.
>>
>>17430981
Except no one said that you illiterate cunt
>>
>>17430992
Being a creep is following her, staring for a long time, hitting on her when she's trapped in the situation somehow (ie when she's working), or not giving up when she's not interested. Otherwise, you're just hitting on her, carry on.
>>
>>17430981
It's clearly NOT fine that I cheated. But if you decide to forgive me, you can't use my cheating as a justification for yours. You didn't forgive me, lied to me about it, and behaved like a bitch about it. Which is why we should break up.
>>
>>17431010
Again, I revert back to
If you admit being cheated on felt shitty, why would you cheat back? Why would you want your partner you supposedly forgave and love to feel that kind of pain?
And they're asking how we would feel in his/her shoes. I'd never cheat in the first place, because i don't buy that "oh it just happened" bullshit in the first place. If you really liked your SO it would never happen. Period. End of story. You would reject all advances immediately. You'd only accept them if you were looking for the door in the first place.
So if my dude then cheated on me, even if I cheated on him, I would assume he was looking for the door and doesn't love me. That's what this is, neither one of these fucks love each other so why are they together? they should just fucking end it already.
>>
>>17431006
She can take a pregnancy test.
>>
>>17431016
>ie when she's working.
Oh man, that's exactly what happened to me. I made the mistake of telling a dude who came to chat with me I was waiting for my shift at X retail store to start, and he fucking came back to my work to ask me out on the floor in front of my supervisors and everything. I even worked stock so they had to come find me in the back, stop my very time constrictive job, to pull me out to the sales floor. As far as the higher ups are concerned, you're a customer, and I as the employee are obligated to make the customer happy. Just puts you in a weird spot.
Plus I was mad because my performance was based on how many boxes of stock I unpackaged and processed, and him pulling me out to the floor made me lose time and I didn't meet my box quota that night.
>>
>>17431006
Use a fucking condom or get her on the fucking pill goddamn.
And get a goddamn pregnancy test, there's literally no way any of us can know your gf's specific cycle and symptoms. We literally all experience periods differently m8.
>>
>>17431020
He's not using the fact she cheated before as justification for him cheating now. It's just a moment of opportunity.
>>
>>17431040
Dude even admitted though the relationship has been strained ever since. Are you really that retarded as to not think its possible even if only subconsciously that his anger for her cheating wasn't playing a role in his desire to cheat?
>>
>>17431041
All I'm saying is, the guy was forgiving. Why isn't the woman? Surely it's a hard situation, but the guy was willing to work through it. Why can't she?
>>
>>17431050
Because it's clearly a futile relationship
>>
>>17431050
Again, this is how /I/ would feel in her shoes. It's hard for me to think about because I would never cheat, but again if he had an issue with it he should have dumped me on the spot.
Maybe she never asked him to work through it but he decided to (and failed).
Maybe she's just hypocritical. We all are about somethings. That's just life.
He isn't even saying she ISNT forgiving, he likely doesn't KNOW how she'll react and that's why he's asking US how WE would feel PERSONALLY in this situation.

I'm just saying, if you cheat or get cheated on, just fucking break up your relationship is obviously dead and you're obviously miserable with one another.
>>
Gf and I split after a fight when I walked out. She was just screaming too much to be rational. I texted "hey", she replied "what do you want me to say [my name]?" I texted to get one of my shirts back and she said "I don't think we should talk for a while". I was just going to wait for her to text me again, is that the right move?
>>
>>17431050
Because he didn't work through it.

If you refer to your SO as
>the one who ruined everything from the start
you're not over it.
>>
>>17431072
Try and time it when Chad shows up so you can get your shirt back at least.
>>
>>17430821

>cunt
>bitchy

Nice word usage fag.
>>
Fuck. I want to ask girls about texting habits but it varies so much between people and I don't want to spend the time writing out a story of context. It's just eating me up inside that she hasn't responded in a bit, but she's done it before and responded later on... Though I'm thinking this time could be different, it could be the end. I'm just dying here.
>>
>>17431072
Sounds like she's still irrational. Give more time, but you fucking get your shit back one way or another. I'm still pissed my ex stole my GBA and refused to give it back, and then moved cross country with it. Bastard.
>>
>>17431079
Huh?
>>
>>17431035
Yeah, I was a receptionist for a long time, and I absolutely hated it when people tried to pick me up while I was working. Most of my job was making customers happy, so I felt like I was walking on eggshells whenever I had to reject a customer. It just put me in a really uncomfortable position where I couldn't be 100% honest, but also had to be careful not to lead guys on so that they wouldn't continue bothering me at work.
>>
>>17431078
This.
>>17431082
Do you know her enough to know he weekly schedule? She might work. She might have class. She could be out at dinner with her family. She could just be taking a nap.
Unless she goes a whole week without contacting you, just chill out man. People have lives and other friends/family.
>>
>>17431088
A coworker I used to work with once got asked out when she was ringing them out. Politely rejected him, because she already had a boyfriend. The dude then walks over to another employee, asks to see a manager, and then makes up some bullshit about how she cursed him out and threw his merchandise in the bag haphazardly/didn't do her job well.
Coworker tries to explain to manager none of that is true, manager just scolds her and says "customer's always right" and gave the dude a fucking $10 gift card.
Granted that was the shittiest job I ever had and the managers gave zero fucks about any of their employees and just threatened to fire them if they complained about anything. Still though, that scene haunts me lol.
>>
>>17430992
The line is how attractive you.
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>>17431095
>Do you know her enough to know he weekly schedule?
I don't know her that well, but I saw her on Wednesday and she said Thursday she was going somewhere and Friday was one of the days we were considering hanging because she said she had it off. The last thing she sent included that she wanted to have a "full conversation to get to know me" and my last thing at the very end said that "maybe we should just go somewhere to chat", so it kind of is a bummer to get left hanging here right now.

I just hate the unknown if she's gone or not, if she's into me or not, and don't know when to send a double text (or not). Should I just wait until she responds and if she doesn't cut my losses? Should I wait a while and then send a double? But then what should I say...

This is what my anxious mind goes through.
>>
>>17431113
I go by rules of 3.
First text -> if no response after a day, follow up text -> If no response to that after another day, Last ditch effort text.
If nothing after that, then you've more than likely been ghosted. It sucks, but it happens. Cut your losses and move on.
>>
>>17431103
Yeah, that was pretty much my fear. I was worried that the guys would make some shit up to get me in trouble at work. When people can talk to your boss, you're vulnerable.
>>
Girls,

Does more ! and ?'s mean something for example:
I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!!!
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Not sure if it's too late to post in this thread, and I haven't really scanned it yet. I'm male. I'm really passive and I like girly stuff as well as some manly stuff, but I've never been a fan of acting dominant or macho. It seems disingenuous to me.

Not for lack of testosterone. I'm covered in body hair and I'm reasonably fit, I just don't like displaying manliness because it feels wrong for some reason.

Do you know of many women who go for passive, non-masculine men? There's this whole school of thought that keeps telling me that women are only attracted to masculine, dominant, or aggressive men.

I feel at a loss or like I'm brain damaged because I just wasn't born with that drive, even though I'm highly sexual and very attracted to women....

Not sure if that's all relevant, but I really have to know if there are many women who prefer passive guys or if I need to specifically look for another weirdo?
>>
>>17431132
Yes, it means they're using exaggerated punctuation to prove that they're VERY excited/angry/confused/etc (use context to figure out which).
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>>17431142

Man, I must be dead inside then. I'm seeing a younger girl hence my confusion.
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>>17431148
>tfw normalfags are helpless retards

I am truly blessed
>>
>>17431124
The thing is she did it before so I'm kind of expecting a similar time-frame? I mean if she doesn't respond by tonight or early morning it's probably clear she's gone... I've already passed no response after a day and three seems too much. I might just shoot a super honest text on the weekend asking if she's still interested in chilling and to be honest and tell me if she's not if I get nothing before then.
>>
>>17430835
Bump
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>>17431168

To be fair, I deserved that one.
>>
>>17431183

I think you shouldn't worry. If they are upset at you for wanting sex and you don't want to give them sex, it's not really your problem.
>>
>>17431136
You're fine. My boyfriend isn't dominant or macho, and I least don't THINK I'm a weirdo in that way. I find that the stereotype of women fawning over aggressive men applies mainly in the area of one night stands and very young/insecure women.
>>
>>17431223
Drill deep enough into this retard's past and you'll see she fucked a dominant/macho in the past
>>
>>17431232

So what? I mean that doesn't have any bearing on the credibility of her advice.
>>
girls is it normal for you to suddenly get very clingy when dating someone and you hit a certain milestone of understanding each other?

My girlfriend just got clingy in a very weird way because we connected emotionally on a new level and it seems weird.
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>>17431240
> I find that the stereotype of women fawning over aggressive men applies mainly in the area of one night stands and very young/insecure women.

She would be classified as a insecure woman (lol aka all of them) or very young

Real Protip: Never follow another woman's advice about women
>>
>>17431232
The only other person I've fucked was my ex, and he also wasn't dominant or macho. Maybe it's just my type.
>>
>>17431245

I'm male, but I can counteract this by saying everyone I've ever dated has always been emotionally distant. Not in a negative way, that's just my type I guess. In fact, if anyone gets too clingy sometimes it's me. Clinginess is not a gendered quality and it usually happens because of insecurity.
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>>17431249

Yeah, you seem like a red pill troll. I'm not trying to FUCK or pick up CHICKS MAN. I'm just trying to express myself to complimentary peoples.
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>>17431259
>express myself to complimentary peoples

What the fuck does that even mean dude

Go back to red tit or tumblr you obviously don't belong here you stupid fuck
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>>17431252

Yo, for real thanks for the back up.
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>>17431262

>not addressing the point of my statement and instead criticizing my word choice.

Dude you are the most insecure person at this party rn.
>>
>>17431262
That's exactly what dating is. If you aren't looking for a person whose personality is complimentary to yours when entering relationships, your relationships aren't going to last.
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>>17431268
I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.
>>
>>17431255
both me and my gf are emotionally the complete opposite of distant, I was just able to solve a personal issue that made me more relaxed and understanding of her and then she got super clingy once she saw it.
>>
>>17431275
Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.
>>
This is to both guys and girls, I recently met someone on tinder, we had a coffee date together and had a good time, but I recently found another nice match on tinder who also seems cool, and has some more interests that I like as well. Since I'm not in a relationship yet, is it ok to date other people and decide on which one to go with later?
>>
>>17431275
>>17431291
>blonde eye
>make my words
You guys are asking for the pasta...
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>>17431321
How about you add some battery acid to your next shitty Starbucks abomination
>>
>>17431325
>>17431291
Fuck i posted before reading it all
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How do I ask a girl out? I'm pretty thin and shorter at 5'5" and really self conscious about it. Do women really only into muscular/fit guys? How do I find someone into my body type?
>>
>>17431326

Actually we went to a local bookstore where they sold coffee and cakes. I don't think its wrong to see multiple people, Some people go on a few dates with other before deciding they like one person best.
>>
>>17429374
Partly. Men taught men not to show emotion. This isn't a bad thing though.

Men did not tell men that all men are rapists. That was feminists.

Men did not tell men that men couldn't be raped. That was feminisists again.
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>>17431389
Some people fuck dogs

Please leave you're stupid
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>>17431382
How much effort you put to look as feminine as possible on that photo?
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>>17431427
None? That's just me in front of a mirror dude. I have 0 interest in men.
>>
>>17431382
just ask them out like anybody else would. and as you go through life and dating, make sure you make a conscious effort to keep a positive attitude (not some rose-glasses pollyanna bullshit, but just the most positive realistic attitude you can manage) and find as much joy in life as you possibly can. and if you don't have very good self-esteem, work on ways to bolster that. this will help you have genuine confidence so you don't have to fake it (though faking it works in a pinch), and it'll help you take rejection in stride so you are still able to keep your heart open when someone special comes along. I would say this for anybody, but it goes double for short guys and fat chicks.

not gonna lie, even a confident short guy who likes himself will not get as many dates as a confident tall guy who likes himself. but he will get a lot more dates than a bitter short guy who hates himself.
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The girl Im seeing has borderline personality disorder, its very hard to figure her out/interact with her.

She is paranoid, has OCD, frequent mood shifts, low self esteem, impulsive, and doesnt like being touched. Sometimes I dont even know whether shes not into me or not and she has these mental blocks that stop her since fear of intimacy is one of the traits. She's told me she doesnt hug people anymore because she's scared of touching people for example.

I dont really know what I'm asking to be honest, anyone have experience with this? When she's not having one of her moods/is normal and this is very often(shes never gone apeshit on me) shes incredibly caring, kind, funny and I love her. I dont know though..she'll constantly need reassurance of things, like "are you ok? "do you hate me? "are you mad at me?", and my answer will always be Im good babe, I dont hate you, Im not mad. I can deal with that stuff, it doesnt bother me and it doesnt drain/annoy me in the slightest.

Sometimes though she'll withdraw and pull away from stuff and its hard to not take it personally. I asked her a couple days ago after she basically said "we're not going on a date", "oh, then should I give up...?"(on the relationship and her) And she was like..."I would say dont give up...Not yet". Which is an incredibly interesting answer since she's very indecisive and has never really said she likes me or anything but its literally all Im working with. I dont know man, is there any wins in this? Is it hopeless?
>>
>>17430655
Personally I love being eaten out. My most favourite thing ever, but I've always had an interest in it. If she's not already aroused by the thought, she's probably not going to enjoy it. I know a few female friends who are self conscious about receiving it.

>>17430740
Personally don't want to receive gifts, unless it's food. I don't know, I guess if he doesn't make a big deal about it. "Hey I picked you up a _____ because it was on sale and thought you might like it". Only if were official, though, not having a few dates/ getting to know each other.
>>
>>17431442
Then you suck at it.
You are enhancing your curves and hip and your bush looks like a girl's from that height. Take a frontal shot, either higher or lower, next time and you won't look like a girl.
>>
>>17431477
Personally, you seem like a narcissist because you start every sentence with you being the subject

Personally, you might just be shit at writing and fell into the habit

Personally, I think its a bit exhausting to read sentences with the same exact structure

Personally, I think you should stop typing like this

Personally, If you are reading this and don't reply your mom is going to die in 7 days
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>>17430964
Colby fucking Keller. He's a beaut.
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>>17430964
He's my everlasting crush.
I think he's been my ideal since I was 13.
>>
>>17431507
same here!
>tfw no Seth Cohen bf
>>
why do girls layer on perfume like its water ?
>>
>>17431006
It's just a day late? Relax, especially if she is having pre-menstrual symptoms. My boyfriend gets all nervous about my period being 2-3 days late too, but it's perfectly normal for it to occasionally vary a bit.
>>
>>17431544
Bitches don't know you should drink it.
>>
For women: A friend set me up with a friend of his, meeting her in a month or so when I'm back in town. He tells me she's really nice, and that she thinks I'm cute and would be attracted to my personality/interests.

I believe him, but have a problem. I know everyone has their faults, but mine are high-maintenance. I have a complicated personal life, chronic skin and mental disorders, and I'm actually pretty bad at sex.

Working to improve and all, what I want to know how to pace revealing those parts about myself to someone who wants to be with me. Like if she's attracted to me initially for my immediately apparent positive qualities, how do I show her that I have a lot going on, without scaring her off?
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>>17431486
genderfluidgendepoplicklimekillsselfperson insulted my by femenism
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>>17431541
He's my love.
Here, some more Seth Cohen anon
>>
>>17429422
>>17429434
Yeah her profile says she works two jobs so she's probably just busy. Should have waited until the weekend to message her when she'd be more likely to have time but oh well.

PS. I don't take Tinder seriously at all. Every once in a while there's a girl that I like a lot though (at least based on her profile).
>>
Why do people tell me to smile more? I have a permeant poker face, but i smile at funny shit. I get told a lot that i never smile, a lot of girls say this.
>>
>>17431593
People who smile genuinely make me stop and appreciate their smiles.
I assume those people like you and feel that it would improve your likeability.
>>
>>17429278
damaged goods
>>
>>17431593
Because they are used to one thing, and you are doing something different.

>>17431570
You bring them up as they become relevant. Try not to oversell them. Act like it's no big deal and she will probably think it's no big deal. For example, if she points out your skin, just say, "Oh, yeah. I have eczema/dermatillomania/whatever you have." Smile and shrug.
You don't have to lay them all out the first date. In fact, you shouldn't.
What is complicated about your personal life?

>>17431321
I'd say it's fine. Third or fourth date is when you should really consider cutting ties with others.

>>17431245
You should step back and recognize that normal =/= what will make you happy in a relationship. Just because this is not uncommon behavior doesn't mean that you should be happy about it. Reevaluate what you want.

>>17431136
You're fine.

>>17431173
>a super honest text on the weekend asking if she's still interested in chilling and to be honest and tell me if she's not
>tell me if she's not
:|

>>17431072
If need be, use a friend to get your things. She might think that you're using this an excuse to come over.

>>17430821
When I'm in a bad mood, I need to distance myself from people. I just feel prickly and on edge. I try to avoid getting myself in a position where I'll react in a cranky way. I would feel deeply saddened if I knew my boyfriend was calling me a bitchy cunt for needing to do this.
I guess you two have different values and coping mechanisms.

>>17430613
The only difference was to be able to check out boys with them along with girls. I'm biased because I'm bi.

>>17430550
Why would you assume it's her parents? She could have come to the conclusion on her own. Is it a weird question? Particularly girls are taught to smile for the camera no matter what.

>>17430415
No kids.

>>17430348
I'm not a smoker but I don't mind the smell of smoke. I like the smell of a couple brands.

>>17430302
Who is telling you this?
>>
Girls, what are your thoughts on having a partner who earns less than you?
>>
Guys and girls,

do you think it's appropriate for a girl to stream vidya if she's in a relationship?

guys, how would you feel?
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>>17431869

>being an adult
>playing vidya

Those two things can't co exist.
>>
>>17431470
IF YOU VALUE YOUR SANITY, ABANDON SHIP.
My borderline ex ripped four years from my life.

She is not going to change. It's not your fault. The only way that people with borderline should be considered as a romantic option is if they have gone through and continue to go through years of therapy. You cannot be her therapist. You cannot be her therapist. I'm gonna say it one more time because you fuckers never listen to me. You can NOT be her therapist.

Her therapist needs to be someone separate from herself who doesn't need anything back from her. You have needs in a relationship. You can't act like that you are fine being a punching bag who will never get anything. You will wear yourself dry and want to kill yourself. When she gets into her depressive ramblings, you will start thinking, "I think she has a point"

Occasionally we get threads about borderline. People come out of the woodwork and tell their horror stories about relationships with BPD sufferers. The only ones who had anything good to say were when the BPD sufferer had been in therapy for a long time. Or they were the ones who were already dating someone with BPD and they say, "Well it's kind of awful and I don't understand what's happening, but I LOVE THEM SO I WILL ENDURE THE PAIN FOR THEIR SAKE"

That is fucking STUPID AND YOU SHOULD NOT BE STUPID. Do NOT endure the turmoil that SHE CREATES.

Borderline sufferers are inadvertent abusers. But they don't MEAN it. So you want to forgive them. YOU CANNOT EXCUSE THIS.

I got through so many years because I compartmentalized my ex's behavior. When it got to the point that the conversation seemed to be going down an irrational tail end, I'd think to myself "Oh. This is the disorder talking. Everything here is irrelevant and can be forgiven because it's just the disorder." I would basically wait until my ex came back to me, as the sober and lucid person I knew.
But the disorder is THERE. You CANNOT pretend that it's not.
>>
>>17431869
My ex-gf was going to stream games before we broke up. She asked me on my opinion. I basically told her that I don't mind it so long as it doesn't negatively impact the relationship. I'd treat it as though she was just going to work, I wouldn't interrupt her if she didn't want me involved with the stream. However, she planned on ever doing things like 24 hour streams, I'd have to know in advance, and it wouldn't be allowed to get in the way of us doing things we'd otherwise planned. Also, no wearing promiscuous shit. Normal clothing, not hypercleavage attention-grabbing stuff, given that streamers tend to get involved in more drama/stalking/weirdos trying to get with them.
If she has a full-time job + streams then I dunno, it'd probably annoy me if I was getting to spend less time with her as a result
tl;dr if it doesn't hurt the relationship it'd just be treated as another job
>>
I fucked a hooker in Mexico but went soft and ended talking to her for 2 hours instead of just having the 30 minutes of shameful sex I paid for. When we finally left she kissed me on the cheek and gave me her number. She sort of flaked though and I won't see her again.

So does this make me sweet and caring because I wanted to get to know her, or am I the ultimate beta because I didn't hook up with a girl I literally paid to fuck?
>>
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>>17431890
Thanks for the reply..I'll remember what you said..seriously. I dont know what to do, we havent been going out for years or anything, and I havent really experienced her episodes. She is in therapy and has been for a couple months and it seems to be helping. The stories she tells me dont seem to severe, the worst thing shes done is say something like "youre not my friend, i hate you" or something like that. But yeah its funny how Im almost already thinking like you are by separating the disorder and her...I dont know, I dont know
>>
>>17431926
You having to ask excludes the first option.
>>
>>17431926
Why did she give you her number, did you even call it, hookers are people too, and people need relationships, its not impossible, try calling her up idk man, at the least you could get a booty call for free and get your moneys worth lol
>>
>>17431570
Shit I just typed a super long response to you but 4chan wouldn't post it cause it was too long and then I tried to edit it (I'm on my phone) and it got deleted

But basically, what the other anon said, mention the flaws when an occasion occurs but try not to overwhelm her. But don't worry too much, she probably has issues herself, and literally everyone has friends/family/exes with some pretty serious physical or mental health issues. If you show your willingness to work on them, such "flaws" shouldn't matter at all. Even if your skin condition is pretty bad looking or contagious, if you'll say you're actively trying to treat it she probably won't mind if she thinks you're cute and interesting - my bf also has a physical health condition, essentially a handicap, but it almost doesn't affect me and while I would prefer him to be healthy (for his own sake mostly), it certainly wasn't a dealbreaker... health is something people don't have a conscious influence on in most cases

As for being bad at sex, I think it's really more about attitude and willingness to learn. Just be open minded and try to pleasure her, while articulating clearly what you like yourself. There are tons of good online resources when it comes to technique, but if you're respecting the other person and care about their pleasure, don't stress too much and after some time you'll get better and better. If she's inexperienced you can learn together, if she's experienced she'll be able to help you improve. It's really a win-win situation if you start thinking "I'm going to get better at sex" instead of "I'm just bad at it". Honestly I think even saying you can be "bad" at it implies it's a performance to be judged, when it really isn't, or at least not with very strict criteria (no one should mind if you come too soon during the first time together, for example)
>>
>>17431942
I'm not him, but I've posted my story on /adv/ enough times that I don't feel like doing it again, but I'll give you a quick rundown.
Had a gf that was bipolar, schizo (she told me, but never had it diagnosed - she didn't ever want to go to therapists/doctors/psychologists because she had to take everything on alone for some reason). After the relationship ended, I researched her flakiness and personality switches and realized she almost definitely had BPD.
She went from one guy, gave him up for me as I saved her from suicide with a lot of effort when she was going through something with him, dunno what, then after a long ass time of being with me, she went back to him, and everything she felt for me a few days before had suddenly disappeared and said some horrible shit.
Their personalities will switch, without reason, so fast it ain't even funny, you'll wonder where the fuck your partner went at times, and they'll act completely different to what you felt for at others with seemingly no end in sight.
Don't date BPD unless they agree to go to therapy. You will die horribly inside when they eventually go off the deep-end and do something incredibly fucking stupid. Save yourself the trouble if they don't want to make efforts to fix themselves.
And remember that you cannot fix her no matter what. It's up to a therapist. If she won't go, you're both fucked.
>>
>>17431961
I dont think her case is as serious, we've read this book about it and she goes down the list of traits and says i dont feel like these ones apply to me, which is a good sign. Plus her personality type is ENFJ, she is super caring and selfless - almost too kind. Its a strange contrast, on one hand she gives her everything to people(yesterday while shopping her friend called her and we had to go to the hospital cause he broke a rib she was so worried and anxious and was so willing to help), on the other when her moods shift she becomes childish and rude(apparently). Ive never seen her go batshit by the way, she just tells me about it. Shes in therapy multiple times a week so I guess thats good
>>
>>17431863
I don't mind. I would like him to earn something, but at a certain stage of our lives I wouldn't even mind if my partner stayed at home to take care of the household chores / kids (also work, although unpaid). But this attitude follows from my feminist beliefs, which I know are an unacceptable flaw to some people on this board
>>
>>17431863
Apparently this is a thing guys are annoyed at, as a guy I couldnt care less. Assuming the partner(the woman) who does make more doesnt make a big deal out of it/uses it to attack/as leverage/to guilt, or its some hugeee disparity like ones an actor trying to make it and the others the doctor funding their life...I dont think it's an issue.

I think most guys dont give a shit if their wife/gf makes more than them, but you do always hear the odd story about it, so *some* guys probably care.

Just dont bring attention to that and shame them for it
>>
>>17431949
I figured it depends on how I tell the story. Since I was gone for two hours, my friends thought I was a stud. I went soft because I wasn't feeling it, genuinely because it was so artificial, but I'd also been drinking whiskey.

>>17431953
She told me to text her and put her number in my phone without me asking for it. I definitely saw her as a person, texted her, we arranged to meet up, two days after, but the day of she said she couldn't go because she didn't make enough money from work (details here: The night I was with her she said was her last night of work. She was moving back home to her family in a few days. The day after she told me she had to go to work again, needed money. Then that she needed to go the day after that and asked if I wanted to join her. I presumed she was shopping for practical things she'd need to pick up before moving, not that I asked. But the day of, 30 minutes before, I texted to confirm and she said "Oh sorry, I can't come because i didn't make enough from work yesterday". I figured she's either telling the truth, and meeting up with me is a luxury she can't afford, or she's prompting me to pay for her and that's what this is. Maybe she does actually like me but the position she's in means she's got to convince me to pay for things, like 'you gotta do what you gotta do'. Maybe she just changed her mind about me. Regardless, I didn't pursue it. Wished her well, didn't want to get caught up in that.
>>
>>17432122
she needed to go shopping*
>>
>>17432122
Yeah it does sound like shes roping a poor sucker in with the emotional side then giving you the story of not making enough so you pay up for even more. I recommend either dropping her, or seeing her and never ever giving her money again or even implying that youd help out. Or perhaps just dropping the notion of helping out and see how she responds, if shes like omg really? THen yea its prob that...
>>
>>17431859
>>a super honest text on the weekend asking if she's still interested in chilling and to be honest and tell me if she's not
>>tell me if she's not
>:|

What does that face mean? What should I ask?!
>>
>>17432140
This was last week, I've seen gone home and deleted her number. (This was in the middle of a 600 mile roadtrip).

I was wary the entire time and made sure I didn't spend money on her I wouldn't spend on any girl I went on a date (paying for her meal is fine, buying her things on the first date isn't).

I was uncomfortable in the brothel the entire time, on principle. I didn't like my sexuality being a market, people, actual human beings, being leased to me by some middle-aged fucko in an office somewhere. My friend tipped the waiter to bring me girls and the first two walked away immediately knowing I wasn't going to be a lucrative customer since I didn't want them.

This girl sat on my lap and touched my dick straight away so I fell for it pretty fast.

I think ultimately the evidence I have isn't enough to pinpoint the truth: Was I being conned? Did she actually like me because of how I interacted with her? Somewhere in between?

But it doesn't matter. Ultimately, I did get what I wanted in that for those two hours I felt companionship, and learned that even in that kind of environment and situation I valued intimacy and emotional connections over busting a nut. I can't speak for her intentions, but I can know mine and learn from them.

Or maybe I did have whiskey dick, she was playing me for money, and I'm subconsciously cherry-picking details that I can use to construct a narrative that shields my masculinity and ego. idk man.
>>
>>17430415
Dunno, it's not ever been part of the plan.
None. I want none.
Bf has said he could go either way on it. Were he to decide he does want kids, I'd consider it. Was actually trying to sort of talk myself into wanting to want kids for a while here recently. It did fuckall. I still just flat out do not want to have kids.

>>17430550
>not getting in good with the parents and best friend
Most folks would see it as an innocent question, shrug, be like "iunno", and forget about it. That's probably all this was. Why the paranoia?
Also, get in good with the parents and best friend.

>>17430564
>you'll be nothing but cumdumpsters for mudslimes.
Not a fucking chance. I would sooner die. Anyway protocol during an invasion demands you direct your rage and hate at the other guys, not your own side. Chin up faggot. The tides are turning.

>>17430655
How good are you at oral and how insecure is she about her cunt/body?

>>17430740
It's completely fine, just keep it small.

>>17430821
Yes, that's probably all it was. If she's still acting the same next time you see her, ask her what's up in a way that won't start a fight. i.e. ask gently and be prepared to possibly get snapped at.
Not really, no. If I'm in a bad enough mood that seeing him won't snap me right out of it, I keep to myself until I'm done being buttmad about whatever set me off.
>>
>>17430835
Ok so flirting and prioritizing. Those are the two most easily recognized social cues for expressing an interest to sex. My best guess is that you might be doing those inadvertently. Being friendly gets mistaken for being interested all the damn time, but it 's usually the guys misreading the situation not the girls. You might not be the autist in this situation lol, just saying. In any case playful teasing, complimenting, and either creating sexual tension or responding to it being created in a receptive way is flirting, and always being available and willing to drop whatever else has your focus and give your full and undivided attention to a certain person is prioritizing. The commonplace it is for people to be dicks to each other and insecure af, the more being enthusiastic and engaged in your interactions with others will get misconstrued as a desire to sex. "Sign of the times" thing.

>>17430860
Yep. If your scalp gets oily easily, you might be overwashing your hair. Work your way down to washing it every 2 or 3 days, use sulfate free shampoo, and brush your hair everyday. If you have curly hair, welcome to hell. Try a wide toothed comb or, if that munks up the curls too much, just finger comb it to distribute the oils.

>>17430890
Being a right pain in the arse at every turn, duh.

>>17430949
Like we were both wasting our time and needed to get our shit together and figure out what we really want and start being honest with ourselves and each other about it. Doesn't make the relationship automatically ded but trying to go on pretending the foundation isn't fucked would indeed spell an inevitable death sentence for it down the road.
>>
>>17430964
>posting muh bf on the 4chins
Feck off homo, he's mine!

>>17430992
The line is continuing to pursue after getting shut down. If you express that you're not interested and he keeps trying, it gets creepy. If he comes on way waaaay strong right outta the gate, that also leans toward the creepy side.

Note: If you get called a creep without having crossed that line, she's probably one of those uppity little faggots who doesn't think getting catcalled is a compliment and gets buttblasted over fucking manspreading (this will never not be funny) because she doesn't realize how pathetically full of shit feminist SJWs are, and any humiliation you may feel ought to be vicariously for her since she's unaware what a tool she is. Pray for those people if you're into that. Or mock them. But don't think dodging a bullet is a hit to your pride.

>>17431072
Give her a few days then ask if she's ready to talk yet.

>>17431245
Sounds like par for the course m8. Is it bothering you or are you just wondering if it's normal?
>>
>>17431987
There is NO SUCH THING as "not serious" BPD. The fundamental definitions of BPD make it hell. It's the little things. They stack up. It starts quiet. You brush things off as just a little weird, but it'll happen again and again and get worse.
Her black and white thinking where she villianized you? Said "You're not my friend, i hate you"? That will happen again. And again. In that moment, she believed it completely.

Please. Please Please. Please listen to us. You are not special. You are not different. She is not special. She is not different.

My ex never hit me. Never screamed at me. But those things said in those moments where the disorder said, "This person is not your friend. This person is not to be trusted. This person is a bad person."? Those things that came out in those conversations, the situations that were created from that belief, the things I was banned from doing - it all wears at you.

You'll find yourself trying to convince her that you really love her. She will NEVER BELIEVE YOU PERMANENTLY.

Please trust us, Anon. A couple months of therapy is not enough.
>>
>>17431987
Another note:
BPD doesn't make people evil. THAT'S why it's so awful. My ex was just as giving. Stayed up until 6am to give a friend an hour long ride to where car was trapped in a parking garage. Spent money liberally on others. Had a long history of talking suicidal friends down from the edge.
My ex didn't cover all the criteria either. People rarely do. There's a reason why you only need X number of them to qualify.

The moments of unrest can seem very out of character. THAT'S why it's so easy to forgive. Because if everything is so dandy when things are okay, then this is just temporary, right? You'll tell yourself that you can help her see how irrational she's being. But when the disorder clicks it's light on, it doesn't matter how many conversations you've had about how she should handle that situation. She'll revert right back to what she knows.

She'll make little improvements, that make you think you've made progress. Hell, in four years, we made INCREDIBLE progress. I have a lot of hope for what the future holds. But I would still find myself exasperated, with wishing for the basic things that you could expect from a neurotypical person.

And even then, in our break up conversation, my ex had the gall to imply that I never did enough. That my EX had done more for ME. That all the work that my ex had put into to become a decent human being was incomparable to the work that I had done to give the tools for that to happen in the first place. That all the opportunities I had to turn down, everything that I turned away from. Friends that I abandoned. Hours and hours of sleep gone. It felt wonderful to be needed. But that is not what a relationship should be. I was more a caretaker than anything else.
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