What's the most tactful way to tell a guy that you'd

>>17428345

...Just break up, at that point. There's no tactful way to say "I hate this, but for some reason I'm going to 'let' you keep doing it." I don't think I'd be interested in having sex with someone who felt it was an unpleasant chore

"hey fuckboy, you aren't doing it for me so make it quick, the Golden Girls reruns are about to come on"

>>17428354
This isn't with a specific guy, but sex in general.

I can't pre-emptively dump every man on the planet before we met on the grounds that penises will be involved.

>>17428534
See
>>17428378
>Whatever the reason, it's a problem and it needs to be addressed.
and >>17428461
The man you're with, any man you are ever with, is going to feel unappreciated and unloved and unable to express his love for you if you expect this. He will hurt EVERY time you have sex, and every time you do not. You have problems, you need to address those problems instead of trying to get into a half relationship.

>>17428345
So you'll let men sleep with you, but not even try to enjoy it once they start fucking you? You just want to get it over with?

>>17428541
It's not something that can be addressed. I love men, I hate sex, water is wet, the american president is half black.

>>17428545
I want a *relationship*.

>>17428554
Ok, I read some of the other post and your responses and it makes a bit more sense.

I don't know how to help you, sounds awful.

>>17428554
Be upfront with it, and make sure that he knows that it's sex in general and not just with him.

>>17428554
are you doing it right?

>>17428554
Then just make it clear beforehand. "I'm not a big fan of sex, but I love every other aspect of relationships. If we have sex, my aim will just be to make you get off. I don't care about my own enjoyment."
It will turn off a lot of men, some people will be okay with just using you as a masturbation tool at times, but being able to be in a proper relationship otherwise. But honesty and being blunt about it is the key, because a lot of men will desire properly making you enjoy yourself, as it not only makes them feel good to know they can make you feel good, but it means they're not the only ones getting off. A lot of them will feel selfish for it.

Personally, you're the kind of chick I'd date, as up until early this year I had basically no sexual desires at all until I met my now ex-gf. Even now I don't really have any, but I'd still want to do the deed whenever the situation arises. The thing is, that's very rare for a guy. Most crave sex, and they want to feel as though they're accomplishing something with it. If you aren't straightforward about such a major issue to a lot of guys, you're going to break a lot of hearts. Don't be a cunt just because you don't want to risk not snagging someone for a while. Be straightforward.

>>17428563
Men have been caught fucking anything from goats to bicycles. Surely there can't be anything to getting fucked that an animal or inanimate object could do that I couldn't?

>>17428561
And that should do it?

To be honest it never occurred to me to just say it's not personal. Figures a guy would be offended if he thought it's him who's particularly repulsive.

>>17428554
It can be. You can choose to not address it, but disliking sex is going to be caused by either some hangup from some type of trauma/some weird ideas about sex you've garnered or being uncomfortable in your own skin, a physical issue like vaginismus, chronically dry vagina or something else that makes sex painful, a shitty partner that makes sex a chore, or so on. All of those are problems and they all have different solutions. If the issue is physical, see a gynecologist. If the issue is psychological, see a therapist. Sex is a very important part of a relationship for most people, and you will hurt them and yourself by creating this compromise that only ensures both people finish feeling worse than they started out.

>>17428577
>To be honest it never occurred to me to just say it's not personal.
Guys might or might not believe you when you say it, but beating around the bush about it will only make the situation more awkward.

>>17428345
I honestly feel bad for you OP. The kind of guy that you'll end up with when you have the requirement of "I don't want to feel connected or intimate during sex" doesn't sound like someone I'd want to date. Maybe you're a lesbian?

>>17428597
It's thefeeling of being used.

Imagine if you had a roommate who insisted on using your bed instead of the toilet, because it just feels so much nicer. And then he gets insulted at you being dismayed at having to change your sheets and scrubbing the mattress and regardless feeling mildly disgusted for the entire next week, paranoid that the stench is still there. From his point of view, you should be just as thrilled to find piss on your bed as he was pissing on your bed, there's no splashing!

I don't understand how being used for someone's bodily functions should or could ever be nice, even if you're getting paid for it. Using it as a ramson to being shown or expressed love is a very grim fact of life.

>>17428705
The first time I had sex, it was a nice canadian boy - a transfer student, see - and he had never done it either, and we both figured there's no reason not to. I was mostly just pleasantly surprised that it didn't hurt at all.

I've never been fucked without permission.

>>17428705
OP had another thread, is a tranny.

>>17428696
I'm really sorry that you are this cynical. I truly am.

Let's try to /adv/ise you a bit

>being dismayed at having to change your sheets and scrubbing the mattress and regardless feeling mildly disgusted for the entire next week, paranoid that the stench is still there.
It sounds like you have some mild OCD. You might want to check with a therapist if you're not making your life harder than it needs to be.
Independently, getting the sheets/matress dirty is a reasonable concern. If you express it as such, agree with your partner to just put a large towel there. Problem solved.

>I don't understand how being used for someone's bodily functions should or could ever be nice, even if you're getting paid for it.
Did you have a bad hookup experience?
It seriously sounds like you never had sex on a considerate long-term relationship.
Sex is not about "bodily functions". It's about being psychologically fulfilled. Look up Maslow's pyramid. (proper) sex should fulfill all five needs: not just the physiological, but also safety (you trust your partner), belonging, love, self-esteem, and self-actualization (sexual exploration).
Virtually all humans have these needs - excepting those with serious mental illness.


>Imagine if you had a roommate who insisted on using your bed instead of the toilet, because it just feels so much nicer.
I seriously hope you never vocalize this to anyone. If you told me this IRL, I'd probably never speak to you again, whether you were my partner, friend or colleague.

>Using it as a ramson to being shown or expressed love is a very grim fact of life.
No. It's only a grim fact of YOUR life. You should realize almost everyone is perfectly happy expressing love through sex. You might not be able to change the world, but you can change yourself, if you want to

>>17428554
>I want a *relationship*.
Good luck with that. What you want is friends. Noone apart from some special snowflake asexual faggot is going to want to be in a relationship with a girl who hates sex.

>>17428784
It's not about literal hygiene, but emotional. I feel bad - with my feelings - after I get fucked.

My ex used to get me blackout drunk when he had the need. I don't understand how someone can feel safe and loved while getting violated and used.

>>17428733
Are you a tranny?

>I don't understand how being used for someone's bodily functions should or could ever be nice, even if you're getting paid for it.
It's only "getting used" if you get nothing out of it. Most people do. If you don't, that's a problem within yourself, not your partner's fault

>>17428800
It sounds like you got on a awful relationship then. Why didn't you end it?
Most relationships are not like that

>>17428800
>It's not about literal hygiene, but emotional. I feel bad - with my feelings - after I get fucked.
Then you need to understand it. Do some introspection, try to figure out why you feel this way.
From what you said before, it sounds like you have a deeply cynical outlook on life - probably because life gave you shit in the past. You need to understand that your perception of it plays a big role, and that the more negative you are about it, the worse it will actually be.

Honestly, I think you really need to fix your life before you start thinking of having a relationship. Otherwise you'll have bad experiences and it'll be unfair on your partner as well

>>17428840
I was 19, he was my first boyfriend and I knew for a fact that I'll never get another one.

Also, I did not fully understand that I didn't need his permission to break up with him.

>>17428801
It is.

>>17428345
just date asexuals

>>17428993
Where do I find a male gay asexual who's ok with dating a tranny when I haven't even SEEN another gay in this city?

>>17428554
So you're asexual? There are asexual men too. Find one, or find a guy who is okay with not having sex. Be clear in your intentions from the very beginning.

Would you want a relationship if the guy loved you, did all the relationship things, but also had sex with other women?

>>17428981
Well a tranny isn't really going to have a problem with getting dates anyway, noone wants to fuck weirdos.

>>17429038
Why the fuck are you worrying about this and shitting up the board with your crap if there isn't anyone for you to date anyway? Go bother /lgbt/ with your faggotry, they should lap it up as you seem to think you're an asexual transexual gay faggot transnigger special snowflake.

>>17429113
I'm a tranny on atop of anything else, too, I don't think I'd be able to date a straight guy anyway.

And what was that about sex being a sacrament to love and higher feelings and if there isn't love, it's just the same as jacking off?

If he's dating me, why would he love other people instead of going to fuck himself?

If I have to choose, I'd still he rather fucks me than others.

>>17428345
The problem is you suffer from mental illness. If you want to discuss your feelings, there is the possibility I can help to rehabilitate your masculinity.

Trust me you do not want to go down the path you currently are embarked upon.

>>17429136
I mean I'm not the one who said sex was about love.

But anyway, my best advice in your situation is just to be honest and upfront in your dating life. You'll find the right person if you let people know your intentions.

On dating sites you can make a bio, and just say right there what you're looking for. Weeds out all the guys who aren't serious.

Sounds like a pretty shitty situation.

>>17429148
I'm female-to-male.

>>17428345

If you don't want to have sex then don't have sex.

Find someone who will be okay with that relationship, it won't last six months with a "normal" person.

>>17429154
I've seen what dating sites have to offer, I'm afraid.

I'm better off getting fucked drunk by a normal guy.

>>17428345
I find honesty is the best policy. I am not interested in sex either, and I just tell my partner straight up. "I don't want to have sex now, and I probably won't ever want to have sex. If that's an issue then we aren't compatible.". I also make it clear I am strictly monogamous and them fucking other people is not on the table.

I've dated plenty of people, some of them for years, without issue. And none of my breakups have ever had anything to do with sexual issues.

Just be clear about what you want and don't want, and hope they're mature enough to take it or leave it. And not stick around to try and fix you.

>>17429252
How do you make them stay?

I don't think I could make a dog stick around if I didn't feed it.

>>17429178
You still suffer a mental illness.

>>17429397
I know. And guess what?

It's called "gender identity disorder". The only effective way to treat it is - drum roll - a gender reassignment!

It's not perfect but neither is radiation therapy, and people do their darnest to not die of cancer every day.

And I, for one, will find a way to endure getting fucked if that's what love requires.

>>17429470
>It's called "gender identity disorder

Which is a form of body dysphoria. Which, *drum roll* is treated with therapy and finding out what fucked you up, and dealing with it. Anorexia is also a form of body dysphoria, and we don't just let those people starve themselves until they die do we?

Tonnes of trannys that have their bits chopped off end up necking themselves, as chopping off their cock or tits didn't fix the underlying issue of their mental illness.

>>17429642
If you have a better cure, why are you not making millions off it? Why was I not offered this as an option, as opposed to spending masses of taxpayer money on my upcomimg surgery and hormonal treatments? Why have I never heard of these treatments before?

You are being offered these treatments because the medical community will exploit illness to make bank irrespective of how effective these treatments might be. These are the same institutions who used to lobotomise patents, time and attitude and treatments change?

>>17429827
You have no idea how much of a massive uphill battle getting a reassignment is, do you?

They don't just dole them out.

No I assume on some level they select candidates likely to report short or medium term satisfaction as maintaining the assumption that their course of action is the best and only viable way to treat it ensures continued access to funding. You've also got to make it selective to grow a perceived value and allow other fields to benefit from it through assessments and counselling and anti anxiety medication and anti depressants so they'll start to support your treatment because it is now a revenue stream.

The issue is always going to be a girl with her tits cut off with hormone injections is going to be a girl with her tits cut off and not the same thing as a boy. So you are committing to a lifetime of struggling to rationalise the external perception of others vs the desired internal perception of self. This is just a constant human condition thing and you don't sound like you want to be the poster child on the battlefield of gender theory unaware of the financial interests at play when instead you could be developing a theory of mind which accepts gender is a societal construct and the opinions and perspectives of others are simply unknowable on a real level and outside of your control and you'd have no moral authority to correct this if you want them to allow you the same liberties despite the anxiety this creates.

>>17429294
I don't. They choose to stay.

I just think it's pretty lol because you are all I hate sex because I hate my body and have issues and oh wow this is what testosterone is like suddenly I feel the need to smash that brah oh holy shit what is going on huh going to still have to confront these issues after all.

>>17429178
Why do you perceive yourself as male?

In that case, it's valuable to remember that sex is only one part of life and you may not be an "alpha" male but if you're going to be a man, you want to be the alpha.

Do you feel society will respect your accomplishments more if you are viewed as a man?

Do you realize you will never have the same emotions as me deep inside you, to feel your testicles connected to your mind and find solace through that?

Please accept that you are a lady and you are beautiful the way you are.

>>17429649
Everyone makes more money off of you chopping your bits off. Also what country are you in that the taxpayer will pay for this? Also nowadays telling people they have a mental disorder and weren't actually born in the wrong body will just about get you burnt at the stake as an anti-pc, filthy cis you're a fucking white male.

There's no money in helping you out the proper way, and everyone is too scared of being ostracised for not being PC.

>>17429874
Thank you for this enlightening view of just how fucking little you understand about the subject.

On the grounds that you are talking out of your ass, I believe I am done feeding the troll.

>>17429910
I perceive myself as male because I do not perceive myself as female.

Also, all that alpha-shit is mostly autistic bullshit. Even wolves don't do that "most aggressive is alpha" -bullshit. A standard wolf pack is just a dad wolf and mom wolf and a bunch of their adult kids, all this fighting for dominance shit wolves have been observed to do has been captive wolves crammed together with wolves they don't know, struggling for a fragment of control over their lives.

>>17429916
Finland. I have been in the grind of the starving mental health care system for years now as they evaluate whether I am mentally sound enough to be allowed to safely transition, taking valuable time, money and resources from people actually needing psychiatric attention.

>>17429971
Do you know only the alphas breed in wolves?

The hierarchy is realized. Maybe you're not meant to breed. Why are you with men if you don't enjoy them sexual when a man is born to be in union with a woman.

I recognize you do not perceive yourself as female but that's what you are.
You may not be a stepford wife but you're still a lady.

Do you think by being a man you are better equipped to complete some sort of task you feel driven to achieve?

I'm not saying this to attack you, I am genuinely curious into the origins of your association with the male identity.

Being an alpha means power and independence.

Most men don't like being told what to do unless they trust the authority of that person implicitly and enjoy the feeling of being powerful when satisfying the sexual desires of their female mates, they want to spread their seed because inside they feel like they are winners and that feeling is what makes a man feel good - that we can accomplish all our responsibilities and nothing can stop us.

>>17428696
Sounds like you've got some issues from the past hanging you up. Sex isn't (or doesn't have to be) a degrading act in which one person uses another.

Just had great sex with my gf a few hours ago. She came about 7 times (4 with me doing oral, 3 during intercourse) I came twice (had a condom on to desensitize a little). We fell asleep soaked in each others sweat and more in love than when we started.

Sex produces oxytocin in huge quantities and you need that to sustain a relationship, otherwise just get a dog.

>>17430059
You don't understand how wolves work, and you don't understand how people work.

I want people to refer to me as "he" by default, never give me that weird, condescending smile again when I introduce myself with a male name; never ask if I'm a lesbian and instead presuming I'm a man, never questioning my presence in exclusively male spaces, and to be able to touch my chest without feeling breast tissue.

If you were working under the delusion that I am working under the delusion that there are ~*man things*~ that women are not allowed to do and that you could groom me into a cute cool badass manic pixie dream girl who has boy hobbies because that's funny and cute, you are wrong and will never stop being wrong.

>>17430092
You can't kiss a dog. It doesn't appreciate conversation and a breakfast in bed. You can't take it to a museum and hear what it thinks about the art.

>>17430261
>You can't kiss a dog. It doesn't appreciate conversation and a breakfast in bed. You can't take it to a museum and hear what it thinks about the art.

Not the one you responded to, but I'm laughing my ass off thinking about all that shit happening with a dog. Guy goes to kiss a dog, dog just licks every which way all over his face. Tries to have breakfast in bed, dog just clumsily knocks over orange juice, spills bowl of cheerios all over the place. Takes dog to a museum, dog just stares at a painting for 30 seconds, turns to his owner ..."woof".

Female who used to feel just like you OP. I had a shit formative experience so I was convinced I was asexual, but now I'm with someone who treats me well and loves me, being sexual doesn't disgust me at all anymore. I won't tell you it's as simple as finding the right partner as you will have to work past your own issues first, but doing so is alot easier with someone who cares and loves you supporting you through it. I would also recommend therapy if all else fails.

>>17430261
You don't understand how reality works.

You are a woman. You expect your world to conform to your expectations but you will never have a scrotum and penis and that is what makes me a man because I feel it in my brain.

I feel my feet because they are a part of who I am. My genitals are sacred and so are yours. This society doesn't respect the power of the genitals, it exploits them and that is terrifying, deranged and corrupt. You can never be a man.

Some people are going to play games with you but love isn't about lying. Examine your feelings all along.
You'll know you just want to be happy but you can never be something you're not.

What a shame we men are that the women of today believe they can be like us!

Just how we can never be like you.
Even in wolves, there are girls and boys, grandmother's and grandfather's. They go together, they are one unit but two separate entities. Embrace the Truth.

I would never want to "groom" you like an animal. You say you want in exclusive male spaces? Too damn bad. Just because you are accepted by the government doesn't mean men will share the gift of brotherhood with you because you aren't a part of it. We love you and want you to go home to your camp.

>>17430298
The problem is I'm ugly, so finding a partner isn't an option.

My shrink supports me transitioning.

>>17430442
Look: if I am wrong, I don't fucking want to be right.

If you were put in the same room with a trans man, you couldn't tell, not unless you check the genitals. Most people will punch you if you try that.

It doesn't matter if there is some inherent, divine truth or not - the outcome is the same.

So either you will live the rest of your life
in paranoia that any other man you might treat as an equal might be a fraud and a liar, or just mind your own goddamn business.

It's literally that easy for you.

>>17430527
Your point is nonsensical.
I live a great life. I have no paranoia.
My concern is for you lying to yourself.

Why would not want to live correct?


You are a woman, a soul, attempting to cross a boundary which cannot be crossed. Your inability to accept correction will be your doom. Men will always be able to tell your energy is off.
You are not one of us. Accept what you are be done with it.

If you don't turn back, you won't make it.
You are unconditionally loved but you are striving to divide yourself under an imagined pretext. It cannot end well.

You are a beautiful woman.

>>17430555
If your life is so great, why do you bother trying to play god with those of others?

Your boundaries are imaginary, genders are not as separate as you like to pretend. It's something that men like to think is true that women know are false.

Or perhaps I'll agree with you some day, once I'm safely across that border.

Play white knight all you want, no amount of preaching, grovelling or threats of murder will stop me. I will get where I need to be and you have no say in it.

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>>17430569
You have a bizarre sense of attempting to leverage power which is probably due to your penis envy. It's interesting that you affiliated my perspective on gender with that of a man.

I retort your notion of gender being a social construct with the clear evidence that men are men by virtue of their y chromosome and women by virtue of the double x.

Everything else after that regarding social roles and responsibilities may be a construct of a culture independent of other societies (Highland Mayan compared to Papua, Papua to Lombardi, Lombardia to Japan, Japan to Senegal) but the face that a woman is a woman remains. You want to be implemented as a man but every society does such folly fails. I don't play God.

God made the rules and the ordinances of Mother and Father is perfect.

God have mercy on your soul.
That's all I have to say.

I hope one day you can love yourself for who you are and move on from the charade.

>>17430597
If gender was *exclusively* a social construct, I'd have no need to transition physically at all. While what we consider male and female roles are varied and largely arbitrary, the biological root it indeed has is quite small, and a bit of hormone treatments will undo whatever damage nature did to me.

Also, the concept of chromosomes is REALLY nowhere near as simple or even binary as you'd like for it to be. There are - believe it or not - variations to it, and even people who are by all other appearances clearly gender X or gender Y might not be XX or XY. Hell, unless you've been tested, can YOU guarantee that you are undoubtedly XY?

I'd wish you well but to be honest I don't like you enough to feel like I'd owe you the courtesy. Go fuck yourself.

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>>17430626
There's nothing arbitrary about my testicles. I'm a big guy...for you.

I was cordial with you and you have departed completely from polite discourse. This is why you won't make it.
You could never appreciate what it means to be a gentleman although I realize you see it as glamorous just how some absolutely destroyed XY want to wear a dress and fellate other men under the auspices of being a woman when really you're just a comedy.

You're making a fool of yourself, m'lady.
I still want the best for you and your outbursts could never anger me because I know you are in immense anguish.

Wear a dress, defend the environment, embrace the gift of your femininity. (Because I'm the man.)

That's a woman with Sisu. All of my love.

Good night and good luck, you cutie pie.

>>17430653
If there's two things I can't fucking resist it's having a drink and feeding a troll.

You had me all the way until the m'lady, though. Congratulations.

>>17430283
Lol

>>17428345
>What's the most tactful way to tell a guy that you'd prefer he keeps it as brief as possible instead of trying to make having sex with him in any way pleasurable?
"No".

>>17430806
But he'll want it, anyway.

He'll get insulted if you refuse and he'll get insulted if you cry.

tell him.

JUST HURRY UP AND CUM ALREADY !

OP honestly, your hostility isn't particularly impressive because it seems unwarranted and in response to your argument being generally disrespectful. You seem to have these weird notions of what it means to be masculine and you've attempted to understand men using your perspective on sex and relationships without really allowing the other to have the same level of regard as your own ego. You've used appeal to authority in citing your theories, but you've not explained your theories you've just attacked individuals and told them to go fuck themselves unless they can make money or be doctors. On so many levels you don't seem to get it, you sound like someone borderline with a bunch of personality disorders refusing to challenge your world view because to do so would require confronting things.

Your body dysmorphia is unlikely to go away once you visually pass as male in public because based on the way you've portrayed yourself here your perception of what it means to be male is completely unlike the reality of being male. You will never pass fully and as such this will always be an issue. You also seem to assume that other people define gender and roles in the same manner as yourself and as such attach the same importance to it when you can't assume they do. Most people I know don't even care about gender if gender is to not be an issue.

>>17428554
>the american president is half black.
I can't believe you actually acknowledged Obama's mixed background.

Thank you.

Did you ever consider that you might be asexual? I man have you ever been sexually attracted to anyone?

>>17430869
I haven't perceived myself as being hostile in anything other than a counter attack to pre-existing assault.

What do I have wrong? Which perceptions do I have that differ from reality, and how does it differ?

I think women physically transition to men pretty well, certainly if I'm generalising.

Better than the other way around which only seems to work if started young and if they've the body type and then with the constant spectre of ageing around the corner.

Maybe it has to do with the different ways society treats men and women based on age and expectations surrounding them. Maybe not, but I know quite a few gender fluid women who dress, behave and identify as men when it suits and they don't look out of place even without hormones or surgery.

I can't get my head around height, feet, hand and wrist size. While I've seen short men they don't tend to have relatively small feet with small slender hands and wrists. I've also known men carrying fat deposits in typically feminine areas, but these brown fat receptors are hard to lose unless you are prepared to go twink skinny.

OP I'd sign myself up for a difficult life. Most people want sex and won't be satisfied in a sexless relationship unless you manage to find someone who is also relatively sexless.

You are asking a lot from a 'normal' person, but it doesn't mean that you are doomed to never find anyone.

Your reasons for wanting a relationship are all decent, but you'll have to find somebody who is ok with that. I'd also question your concepts of 'male spaces' because basically to a confident man everywhere is a male space. I'd confused as to what you'd want to do with any fringe exclusive male space anyway because even most men don't want anything to do with that shit.

It is easy to think it is men vs women when really it is like everybody vs everybody. We look at others and generalise and try to simplify and justify our behaviours and thoughts and we assume it is simple, but it really isn't.

Like blue collar/white collar work and trades. I find being a man quite terrifying, but you are supposed to suppress it in order to control the anxieties of those who depend upon you.

>>17431177
I find that being trans is like being human in general in that sense: as a woman it's easy to do a terrible job, it requires insane luck to do a great job, but a thousand social constructs exist to make it easier.

Men don't get fake nails or fake eyelashes, if you weren't blessed by nature, you are fucked.

Testosterone is irreversible.

By male spaces I mean MALE SPACES, locker rooms and bathrooms and so on. I'd like to not fear for my life while taking a piss.

I signed up to a hard life when I was born, and renew my contract every time I pussy out on killing myself.

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>>17429910
>Do you realize you will never have the same emotions as me deep inside you, to feel your testicles connected to your mind and find solace through that?

A-anon...

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>>17430442
>you will never have a scrotum and penis and that is what makes me a man because I feel it in my brain.
>I feel my feet because they are a part of who I am. My genitals are sacred and so are yours. This society doesn't respect the power of the genitals
Anoooonnn

I keep browsing /adv/ because I have a free day and this thread crushes me soul everyone I see OP's writing. My gf has no interest at all in sex, even when I'm trying to do anything to her she usually ignores me, or slightly pushes me off. We haven't had sex in months and when we do she's completely indifferent. I'm a very conscientious lover, and she loves to use her vibrator (by herself). But this just kills me, she isn't even sorry about it, how her preference or desires/lack thereof completely shapes both of our lives without my input. I've spoken to her about it multiple times and I just feel so physically rejected by it all

Why?

>>17428345
Anyways

OP, this board is autistic. Just go see a sex therapist (one that specializes in trans guys) with your bf. You're not doomed to always hate sex a lot of people have similar issues.

>>17428945
>Also, I did not fully understand that I didn't need his permission to break up with him.

Are you autistic?

>>17429874
Op didn't even realize this is exact best advice that could be given.

>>17431606
I don't have a boyfriend because I'm autistic. I have no idea how to even get one.

>>17431607
Yes. He'd whine and beg and in the end I always decided I won't be happy anyway, might as well sacrifice my life for his happiness at least.

>>17430660
It wasn't trolling.

It was just playful banter. We prize a sense of humour over here at the gentleman's club.
Not everyone is trying to hurt you.

>>17431790
You kind of get used to that sort of thing, living 18 years as a girl.

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>>17431805
I grew up in the ghetto.

I spent a lot of time expecting someone to attack me but it really never happened. Throughout this time, I always was strong for my age and I know for a certainty I never would have followed the same life strategy or took the risks I did if I was a woman. Perhaps you feel masculinity will allow you to take these risks.

However, there are a lot of men who would have got ate up in situations I found myself in. I simply don't believe that you will be able to project power the way that I, a male born to be biologically dominant, have the luxury of doing. It most certainly is a privilege but it is a privilege that is only given because I have lived up to the unspoken obligations of my masculinity. My dear babushka, they can smell pussy out there just how they can sense a cuck. Someone so afraid to get hurt cannot succeed in a man's role.
If you want to take a piss without fearing for your life, wear a dress and act like a lady. You are attempting to superimpose an innovation of the way you interact with the universe whereas if you accepted the way you are and your ability to contribute from that location, you would find satisfaction. I'm sympathetic there were men who used you and who fail to satisfy you, I'm sure they feel deep-seated resentment towards the conditions of their life and they know they are the pivot of those circumstances - if you embrace your own sex (sexuality) as that of the water keeper, you will remember your own strength.

Women are so beautiful, I can't even put it into words the scope of how I love them and appreciate them. Maybe you should stop with the drinks while you're at it, love. It's a temporary escape and it can only compound upon the crazy conundrum you've found yourself in.

>>17431858
I don't expect masculinity to be some kind of an automatic force field of protection. I fully expect to get my ass beat eventually, whether it's for being a faggot, being drunk, or just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Women get special treatment from men, no matter what. Whether he's the type to go out of his way to be especially nice to her, or particularly hostile, is up to his personality. It feels just as slimy and disgusting to me, regardless.

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>>17431881
The choice is yours.

You're not a faggot though because you have a vagina!

You still get wet for a certain kind of man.

"Tactful"
In other words you can't tell him how you really feel.

The secret to being yourself is this. Be a good person so that when you be yourself even the most impulsive raw things you have to say are still good and nice in a way and don't stir up drama at all. To be a good person you must live and breathe good character values and shun values that make you a bad person. When you indulge in doing things that make you a bad person you start getting more and more used to being bad. Then it feels natural.

You're at a stage where you're halfway transformed into a bad person. You can see you want to say things that are offensive but the good side of you doesn't want them to hear your bad side.

Shun the badside completely. Try hard to come up with a nice way to say things that doesn't feel artificial. Think of a nice way to say things that you feel like the good you would really want to say.


I'm a manipulative psychopath don't believe anything I say by the way

>>17431988
>suppress anything externally unlikeable about yourself
This guy is full of shit.

>I'm a manipulative psychopath
Fucking called it.

>>17428345
if he tells u to go on top tell him to go fuck him self.

>>17432094
I don't care who's on top for as long as it's over soon.