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I have two best friends; a guy and a girl. They are both dating. I've known the guy for 4 years, and the girl for about 1. We are all very similar to each other in many ways, and that's why we're all so close. Her screensaver on her phone is a picture of him and I, that's how close we all are.
She's one of the hottest girls I've ever seen, and she is one of the only females I know that likes to talk about the same things I do. We always have fun together and we always help each other out. She truly listens when I speak, and I influence her a lot.
She's told me many times she loves me, and I know she means it. I love her too. But it's hard to love another girl and have it be a "friendship" type deal when there's no other girl in your life that you have an emotional connection with. The issue comes with other girls. I'm having a hard time finding a girl of my own now, because I always compare them her. I've exposed myself to so many women ever since I met her, because I let the relationship between them happen (she wanted me first but I sacrificed for my friend), and I don't want to ruin that, so I'm trying to get my own girl. However, it's just not working.
I can't be honest with them about this truth for obvious reasons. I just want someone like her, but not her, you know? How should I go about fixing this? I know many people probably think I should just cut her out of my life, but then I cut my other friend out too. I care about both of them, and without them, my life won't be the same.
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>>17426624
start hanging out with other people more. stop wanting a girl "like her". every girl is different. you're still infatuated with her and the only way to get over it is see other people more (preferably girls but also guys ofc) and them less. you don't need to cut contact but prioritize others in your life more
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>>17426624
you can never move on from the object of your obsession without removing yourself from them. You are the third wheel. At some point they will move on and leave you behind. You must also understand if she had really wanted you the two of you would be together but she chose him.
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>>17426624
When she said she loved you, was it romantic love or loving friends and family love?
But to answer your question, hang out with other people, don't blank your friends, but you need to broaden your horizons.
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>>17426628
That's what I've started doing. In the past three months I've gotten myself into 2 new social circles, but I still enjoy time with them the most because we are all more similar by nature.
You are correct though. Less time around them is the idea.
>>17426634
The situation was initially complicated. She was in a relationship and obviously wanted out. She showed me all of the signs to make a move, but I didn't because of the fact she wasn't single. After that, my friend told me he liked her, and asked if I could help him. Despite liking her myself, I just decided to help him.
I don't think he will move on from me. We have known each other too long. If they stay together, they will both always be a part of my life.
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>>17426656
By signs I mean things like holding my hand, cuddling together, holding eachother, things like that. It was obvious. I just thought that if a relationship starts on those terms, she would have the capacity to do it to me too because I would be taking part in it. They were obviously going to break up, but the idea still stands.
It was loving friends. It's like the same love I have for her; I legitimately care about her, and it makes me happy to see her happy. It's appreciation for eachother and the ways we have influenced eachother.
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