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>Be me 5 weeks ago
>19 year old college student
>family problems
>no friends
>completely isolated from any meaningful human contact
>extremely stressed out
>on the verge of suicide
>actually planned on driving to my hometown on sunday to have a final nostalgia trip before ending it
>Used to play baseball at this park when I was a kid so I thought that would be a good place
>after class one Thursday
>sitting alone on bench
>girl from my class sits down next to me and asks me how my day is going
>Respond to her with a chuckling, "horrible"
>She does that maternal comforting thing women do when they know you're down
>we start talking about school, etc
>conversation goes really good overall
>next day in class she sits next to me
>she seems to take interest in me
>we start talking every class
>get to know her quite a bit
>start to fall in love with her over the next 4-5 weeks, she's smart, kind, funny, ambitious, quirky, and has a great smile
>first person who genuinely makes me smile whenever I see her
>first friend I've had in 4 years
>first person I've known that I actually could loosen up and be myself around
>yesterday I finally mustered up the courage to ask her to grab some food with me
>she accepts
>meets me at a local deli
>It was all the usual chit chat until she tells me she is leaving in 15 days and taking the final early
>heart sinks into stomach
>She continues talking but I don't hear her
>This chick is probably the only reason I'm alive right now
>I will most likely never see her again in 2 weeks
>Just try to finish my food so we can leave
>walk her to her car, hug her and leave
>drive to some empty parking lot and just break down into tears
>I just fell asleep in my car while sobbing like a little bitch
I really don't know what to do, life won't give me a break. She will probably never know what effect she had on me. She was the only reason I got out of bed in the morning.
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>>17424799
Maybe this should tell you something. If all it took is a bit of kindness from a stranger to turn things around for you, maybe your problems aren't bad enough to kill yourself over. She's not the last person you'll ever meet who'll make you feel this way. And maybe next time, the timing/circumstances will work out better.
Hang in there, anon. Everyone wants to kill themselves when they're 19. I sure did. I'm glad I didn't do it.
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>>17424799
Maybe you could find a way to keep seeing her, that you could stay friends or whatever you are (over internet even).
If not, your problems were obviously due to loneliness.
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>>17424828
>If not, your problems were obviously due to loneliness.
No shit
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20 year old here, can confirm 19 is the toughest age other than 15, so far. Make it to 20 and your adult brain will start to develop. The cognitive difference I feel from one year ago is astounding. I almost feel superhuman.
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>>17425045
I don't really see how age is relevant to this situation
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Shit advice
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>>17424799
>I really don't know what to do,
OP, please don't be so down on yourself.
Turn a negative into a positive. You found this woman. Do you think she is the only woman in the world that cam bring out these feelings in you?
Hang in there--now you know you can find a woman that can at least be friends with you.
Life is not so bad!
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