>tfw my depression and anxiety has been spiralling out of

>>17423930
I did the same thing, anon. Now I'm friendless and still a sad sack of shit, apprehensive about pulling the trigger.

I have no advice to offer.

>>17423951
Yep.

I've been saying to myself it's gonna get better, someday.

I've been saying that for 10 years.

I don't believe it anymore.

>>17423930
>>17423951
Might be able to help you chaps, mind giving me a little bit of info as to how you got here in the first place?
Been through this shit for the past year, if y'all wanna hear my story just say so.

>>17423960
It's all mental pretty much with me (op)

I have a fine life, but I'm a loser. I'm 25 and work as a waitress and live with my parents. I'm an army reservist and had big dreams when I joined and now here I am with one year left and 50 pounds overweight and never accomplished anything.

But most people I work with are in worse situations in life than me, but they're happy at least. I'm not, and I just feel like those friends I pushed out, I might regret it, cause I do really like them, but I just can't even handle having friendships.

Basically there's nothing major going on, I just am sick of being here.

>>17423930
I'd be one thing if friends just stopped contacting each other because of jobs, distance, family, etc, but I never understood why people intentionally try to push their friends away because they feel shitty.

>>17423970
Honestly it seems like you have really high expectations for yourself, which on the surface is good, but even though I feel exactly the same I know and-this is important-internalized the matter of fact that I'm not willing as of right now to throw aspects of my personality and habits forcefully out of my life in order to live a new and better one with responsibilities that I choose.

Basically adopting new personality traits and sticking to them, maybe even move to an entirely different city, start from absolute ground zero and live life like a different person.

If you don't have the guts to do that I have an alternative.

Focus solely on every minor thing you do, set goals that you can accomplish in a week and don't focus on goals in a year. Chances are that regrets are holding you down like a mother fucker, I dealt with that too, best way to deal with it is to internalize that it's in the fucking past and there is no way in hell you can change the events directly.

This is super fucking hard, mostly because I wanted to take 3-4 steps every leap, I wanted to get out of my stupid goddamn hole. But if you aren't willing to put your fundamentals through the extremes then baby steps are really the only way to do it.