Hi guys, So here's the deal. I had a kid in a 6 years ago,

>>17420941
If she really is "the one" for you, she will stay with the real you after learning the whole truth.

>>17420956
I just came out of a four year relationship where it was used as constant ammunition, so I'm just really trepidatious.

bump, I want more opinions

>>17420941
Do you ever see the kid? Pay child support? Don't need to tell her right away but when it gets more serious you eventually should

>>17420980
Then if she really is the one, she won't use it as constant ammunition either.

No matter what, trying to build a relationship on falsehood is going to end in disaster. Would you like it if a girl didn't tell you about her child? Or what if your ex suddenly is short on money and decides to take you to court for child support? Or what about when the kid grows up and wants to find his real father?

>>17421262
No, so like we agreed to give it up for adoption because she wouldn't get an abortion, but she changed her mind and kicked me out of her life. So I never met the kid nor has she ever asked for child support. She lives on the other side of the country for with her family now.

>>17420941

do you want a serious long term relationship with her or just some fun? she'll find out eventually and be like wtf if you want to keep seeing her

>>17421267
Yeah, this is what I was afraid of.

>>17421288
If you aren't in this kids life at all I wouldn't tell someone who you've only been seeing two weeks, tell her when the relationship has advanced.

>>17420941
I wouldn't want to risk you as a potential life partner and father of my children.

>>17421300
When should I tell her?

>>17421310
I offered to help from the get go, but she didn't want it. But I understand the stigma.

>>17421314
It's hard to say that week x would work, for me there's always a transition in a relationship when it becomes more emotionally intimate that's when I would tell her. Have you given up your parental rights yet? Has the other dude adopted the kid? I just ask that because that helps you legally down the line

>>17421329
No, it's supposed to happen at some point though.

But obviously this is a really controversial subject that I'm really uncomfortable with. You can understand my trepidation.

>>17421310
Am I really that shitty?