I'm so fucking sad, I'm in so much pain and am so angry

>>17419116
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wQTbkEeCTeM

Look anon, you probably don't want to hear this, but this is life. Horrible shit happens, and it can feel like you are trapped in this spiral of pain with no way out. And honestly, you just have to deal with it. Take it one day at a time. Im sorry this happened to you, but you can't control other people. You can't make her come back to you. You can't turn back the clock to be with her again. You could, try to persuade or influence her to come back to you, but ultimately it is her decision. And if she doesn't, then she doesn't. I know its shitty but you will eventually have to accept it, one eay or another. My advice is to not be too hard on yourself. Don't dwell on what you did wrong or if you could've done things differently, its in the past now and you can't change it. If you want to reach out to her, then reach out to her. Tell her how you feel, if that is what you want to do, lay everything out, tell her youre sorry for whatever you may be sorry for, tell you'll do whatever you need to do if she is willing to work things out with you. But this is if you want to tell her these things. You have nothing to lose, and it could help you feel the least bit better for your feelings to be known. And if you work things out, great. If you don't, then honestly youre no worse off.

Day at a time, anon. Life is shit, and I won't tell you things will get better, because that seems like empty sympathy imo. But if you are willing to persevere, and stay in this world, you will leave yourself open to opportunities and possibilities and someday you may be happy again. If youre dead youre dead.

Are you me? The same thing happened to me last year and i still didn't get over it.

It's so painful, nothing else hurt me nearly as much as when she said to me over the phone "i don't feel anything for you"

I devoted myself so much, i tried to be the best boyfriend i could, i was loyal, i was compassionate, i tried my best and she dumped me over the phone, crushed my feelings and instantly moved on, it's as if all the beautiful moments we shared, all the beautiful words we said and all the promises we made meant absolutely fucking nothing.

I tell people i'm fine, that i got over it but i didn't, it still hurts so much, i love her, i'd kill and die for her, but i'm nothing to her.
I don't even know what i want to do with my life anymore.

You sound just like me several months back. I thought I would never get over this girl. It just takes time, like me it may take a while but when you finally feel happy again you will realize how much you have learned. This knowledge can be put into your next relationship. Good luck!

I know the feel, anon. My advice is to work. Throw yourself into whatever you do for a living if you're of age. Channel that emptiness into your drive, art, or whatever, and make your life better because of it. Life is a fuckin' struggle, but take your dissonance, and make something of it. Hope this helps, friend.

So how did you fuck up? It sounds like you did something bad and she left you over it.

>>17419150
She knows I'd do anything to fix it, I apologized the most genuine apology I've ever done, when she sat me down to "talk about our relationship", I realized my mistakes, said how I'd work on them, how I'd do anything to fix them, she said she wanted to talk that night to see how I felt before she made any decisions, by the end of that night it seemed we had worked everything out, I thought we were gonna be okay. I was gonna take her to work in the morning, by the time I had gotten by after, I received a text from her telling me not to take her to work, I pretty much knew what that meant, I went over again the next night and we broke up. I don't know what happened in between the 15 minute drive home from her house, but she changed her mind.
>>17419158
Sorry anon, hopefully you can figure it out as well.
>>17419193
Yeah I think I'm gonna get a gym membership actually

>>17419208

>Yeah I think I'm gonna get a gym membership actually

Good plan, anon. Stay positive. You'll get through this.

>>17419204
July was shitty for me, really shitty, pretty much July 1st started and I automatically got hit with bad news and then more and more and more.
Turned down from multiple jobs, one of which I felt really good about and got far into the interview process, I guess it started to mess with my self esteem. Car issues, family issues, school issues, etc.
I got low, didn't feel like doing anything, wasn't myself, I felt so blind and my mind was cloudy, I obviously didn't realize the thing that could fix all of it was her, in retrospect it seems simple but it wasn't at the time.
She said I wasn't spending enough time with her, and it seemed like I didn't care about her, which couldn't be farther from the truth, I never once questioned my love her during this time.
When we talked about our relationship the first night, I sorta had a wake up call, realizing how shitty I've been, realizing I didn't wanna be like that anymore, she kept saying stuff like "you can't change for someone else, it has to be for yourself", even though I didn't like what I was just as much as she didn't
I promised her a good summer and I failed to deliver.
She said she just wants me to be happy, to focus on myself because I seemed confused, but I don't buy it.
Her and her family are watching my family dog as he couldn't come with us when we moved, I brought him over for a play day the other day, and when I took him back me and her started talking outside, it was nice, she was being so friendly and it felt like old times, but then out walked a guy from her house, he stood there and said "everything okay here?". I was shocked, I just starred at him, he started walking back in and I turned to her and waved and said bye. I drove home screaming and crying and driving way too fast.
I want to take my dog away from her, I hate him being there

>>17419208
OP, if it weren't for this post, I would have totally mistaken you for my ex. So I feel I should tell some things from the other side of the situation.
It probably wasn't easy for her to leave your side. She may regret it or not, but I can assure you she thinks and cares about you. Yes, that may sound contradicting but it's how it is. Best thing you can do, for yourself and for her is to get well, enjoy everyday stuff, have good times with friends and family. Somewhere along the line you may even move on.
I hope you get well soon, you deserve to be well. Forget her if you must. Always put yourself first.

I swear to god I've seen this exact same story posted here before...

Am I going mad? Did I enter an alternate timeline or something?

>>17419245
I don't think I'll ever forget her, I don't think I want to, some of the best days and moments in my life were spent with her. It seems like I cared more about us than she did, whether it's true or not. Thanks for the kind words.
>>17419246
I've noticed a lot of similar stories to mine actually. But I have posted about this before recently, I spend a lot of time on this board because I don't really have anyone to talk to about, it gets built up in my head easily and I come here to let it out

>>17419232
What the fuck, a guy? Take your dog and never talk to this whore again my friend. We men are far too expecting that women can be loyal. A woman will never love you as much as you love her.

It's a shitty thing, it has happened to me too, albeit a bit differently. Do things that make you feel good, workout, study, improve yourself.

You seem like a good guy and good things will come to you.

>>17419257
I so badly want to, I am looking for somewhere for him to stay, I want him with me but we're renting and no dogs, and he's pretty old and has gotten anxiety recently and I feel like moving him around so much is bad for him. I feel like there's nowhere for him to go, but I really am trying to find something good for him and soon.

She really loves this dog, and maybe he should just stay for the time being, but goddamn I don't want him to be there. The next day I texted her and told her that she doesn't deserve an ounce of love from him because he doesn't know any better and to never let him touch my fucking dog ever again, I was angry and maybe shouldn't have said it, but I'm not wrong

>>17419273

I hope you find a place for the dogger, someone like her doesn't deserve unconditional love from a dog when she can't be trusted to understand unconditional love from a human being.

What do you plan to do regarding moving on? Time will be the main factor for healing hurt feelings, but you must also do things to get your mind off it, once you can start functioning without thinking about it you are almost over it.

>>17419280
Me too, he's been apart of my life for so long, hate that he's there, it's just embarrassing. Hopefully I'll find something soon

I don't really know, I'm still having trouble eating as much as I should, but I guess that's progress from puking up all my food.
I've called my two sisters crying and explaining to them what happened, I've cried in front of my mom and over the phone with my dad, I haven't cried in front of family members in over 5 years probably. I guess I just feel lost, trying to go hang out and do things sort of helps, but in the back of my mind it's just her, always. In my dreams she's there too, although I don't sleep as much anymore, feel like I fall asleep really late and wake up really early, I try and just occupy my mind by listening to podcasts all day. But I wanna start going to the gym when I get my eating in order, pick back up my sport, hopefully that will help

>>17419290
It will help, a tired mind has no energy to worry about shit like that. When I was in a similar situation I took up jogging, me being a IT worker I had 0 physical conditioning for running even though I worked out (outdoors, pullups and the stuff). I was so tired after the running all I could do was take a shower, eat something and fall asleep watching animal documentaries with my cat - it really helped me forget.

>>17419297
Yeah, hopefully the physical tiredness will overpower the emotional, I feel so tired all the time yet also can't get any rest. I miss having someone to talk to all the time. And I know I'll be seeing her around college, hopefully I have no classes with her, I may look into therapy, I feel like this is possibly doing damage to me in a more serous way, I feel like my trust people is shaken, not to mention the problems I had already

Hey OP, long range perspective on things. I had a break up like that years ago and for the better part of a year I was way fucked up from it. for probably 3 years I just avoided thinking about it it's 6 years out and I'm fucking over it.

Here's the truth, those sorts of attachments are unhealthy, really you shouldn't get in any relationship you couldn't walk away from without being at least alright or your crossing into the realm of unhealthy codependency.

I know you don't want to hear this now, but don't look back, get rid of all the shit that reminds you of her, you should absolutely not get back together with this person, it will not go well I promise. The flip side of things is you don't owe anyone shit anymore, you don't owe her a phone call or sympathy, or an explanation.

Be free, be selfish, take care of yourself OP.

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>>17419116
been there done that, 3 times.

Literally the only cure for this is replacing her with a new and better girl, and boom everything you felt for the previous girl is washed away.

Right now youre just thinking "hurrrr she was the only one for me hurrrr", but after a bit you will realize thats stupid.

find a new female asap, you will forget about her.

>>17419309
not OP, but what do when you dont want her back, you dont have many friends and you care about her a lot still?

>>17419343
I don't really want a new girl, probably just wanna work on myself for now

I know I should be going no contact but it sucks because I can't really because she still has my dog. the last text I sent her was "Never let him touch my fucking dog ever again. And the dog obviously isn't happy considering his problems. I'll be looking for a new home for him"
She never responded

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>>17420538
>I don't really want a new girl

it's literally the only way though to forget about her though, worked 2 times for me.

Not right away of course, give it a little bit of time.

Do N O T look her up on social media, it will crush you.

fuck that cunt, get your dog back

>>17420568
Yeah maybe.

Trust me I want to, I'm trying to find anywhere for him to be, I'm hoping my dad can take him when he moves but that's not till september, I want him out of there sooner

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Fuck, I forgot the power of Shaudenfruede, thank you OP, and good luck with the pivot from being a faggot like me.

>>17419116
Read Corey Wayne book, this guy has changed my life...I've been on your situation too. Good Luck bro, seriously read the book (it's free)

>>17419116
30 year old anon here... lemme share a personal story with you...

>Be me 23 years old
>Have Girlfriend since I was 16
>Grew up together high school sweet hearts
>7 years together
>One night get stood up by her randomly
>Try to go to sleep but worried about gf
>Phone rings randomly at about 1am
>Answerphone.jpg
>Hello? Where are you? Everything ok?
>Can't hear anything at first, just faint rustling in background
>Continue to listen
>Finally hear and realize she is getting porked by some dude when I hear, "Fuck me harder anon"

Yeah.. shit sucks and feels like your chest is going to implode.

You know what I did?

I hit the gym super hard. Focused on increasing all my self worth. Studied all kinds of things. Joined clubs like toastmasters international to help me with social skills.

I focused on my career and now-Director of Marketing for an energy company. I have a wife that stays at home and takes care of all the chores because I make enough for her to do so and she literally spends all day making sure she is the best companion for me.

Yes, it hurts something awful.. indescribable pain but you can learn from it. Learn that no bitch defines who you are as a person. Better yourself and then let someone else have the new improved you while your ex gets to wish she could have you back.

Its the best feeling in the world.

>>17420790
Glad everything worked out for you anon, thanks for your story.

One thing I just don't understand, that hurts me, the night we broke up we kissed, a lot, she held me and told me everything was gonna be okay, she kissed me on the neck, I told her I loved her and she said she did too, she said she's gonna miss me
Why would she do that?

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>>17420790
>"Fuck me harder"
That's just fucking disgusting

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>>17419116
Holy fuck, man. I'm going through the exact same shittiness as you. She ended it after 6 years and is now ignoring me through every possible channel. I'm feeling sadness, anger, regret all at once; it's been a month and there are some moments during the day in which I remember that we aren't together anymore and I feel like i'm going to implode. But it has gotten a little better, such episodes happen less frequently. Lifting and other hobbies help. Try to stay positive because as I see it there's two choices a) get over it and find happiness again, yet at the same time preserve the good memories b) spend the rest of your life throwing a self-pity party, wallowing in regret.

Choose A, buddy

>>17419245
What happen with you? If you dont mind me asking.

>>17420857
Yeah, it's so hard, I just don't get it, after so long together and she doesn't even wanna work on the problems we had. I knew my mistakes and wanted to fix them, she didn't care because she had already moved on like a snap of the fingers
Betrayal is the worst feeling ever

>>17420790
I'm not OP, but I recently got rejected by a girl that I was in love with and I just wanted to tell you that your post made me feel a lot better and kinda made me snap out of my depression for now at least. I'm sure it'll be back tomorrow like always.

>>17419116
>it didn't even take her a week to start hanging out with some other guy, probably telling him all the things she used to tell me
You'll eventually learn she's not worth thinking about if she placed this little value on your relationship. No woman is really, just pump and dump my friend.

>>17420947
I just have no interest in pump and dump, I never have, I don't like sex as much with someone I'm not really connected with

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Shit man

Ive been in a five year relationship

DO NOT BLAME YOUR SELF

Very important,I know the thought of trying to flirt makes you sick,but heal yourself. Make friends,new friends especially.

My girlfriend,who tells me were soul mates and is always by me,randomly told me she had feelings for someone else. Thus was after her grandma died, who raised her. This broke my heart so bad, and it wasn't her conscious mind. She drinks to cope,but I kept blaming me. I thought it was how I got to emotional or how I scream, but the truth is, it takes two people to work this. Start doing things you enjoy. Only you enjoy, listen to highschool music, watch weird anime. Just don't blame yourself.

>>17420981
I don't know if I really blame myself, there's things I regret about the situation, things I should have done better and feel like I could have. But she made her choice, and I feel like she'll come to realize it was a mistake

>>17421049
That's what mine said
If you feel like it's worth saving, than try to. Don't push it though or make her forced. It took every part of me to not blow her phone up and the second that I did stop, she sent me a text saying she wanted to talk and that she hated the pain she caused me. If you love something, let it go, if it's ment, she'll come back. Listen to Alan Watts, if it feels right, message her something meaningful and positive. Never let her know how much of a wreck you are. Show your strength and if it doesn't work you have to let her walk away,I know its painful, but it's your life. You can't love someone who doesn't want to love you back.

>>17421085
Yeah you're right, thanks

>>17421121
Good luck bro
Carl Sagen and Alan Watts really helped me in my depression.
Keep that head up, things can be better.