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For around a year and a half, I became really close friends with a girl I got to know over Facebook through some mutual friends. I shared some very personal stuff with her - my anxieties, hopes, you name it, and to be honest, although she had a girlfriend at the time, I was in love with her. I only met her once, at a house party she hosted almost two years ago, and after that night, the replies became less and less regular and eventually I noticed she'd deleted my Facebook. It crushed me, and I oscillated between self-blame and hatred, thinking that I'd embarrassed myself at her party to the point where she viewed me as a social leper, to bitterness aimed in her direction, as I felt I'd been betrayed by someone who I'd invested a lot of trust into. I've kind of made peace with the situation because I acknowledge that she is mentally disturbed (suicidally depressed, posts about dying on social media etc.), and that I basically put her on a pedestal and expected too much from her. I still occasionally glance at her Tumblr blog, and find myself disagreeing with a large portion of her very vocal opinions, whereas before, when I was in a more impressionable state of mind, I kind of just blindly agreed with everything she said because "muh revolutionary politics".
Nevertheless, I still feel tempted to drop her a message on Tumblr sometime, and basically ask if she still remembers me, and whether she'd like to talk sometime. A big part of me suspects that she'd be creeped out big time, considering how long ago it was, but to be honest, I've wanted closure with this person for a long time, as she lead to a lot of painful introspection and insecurity because of how unexpectedly she cut me off. I want to find out if I actually took MDMA that night at her house, or if I was just pranked and she fed me a headache tablet or something. Should I make the leap and message her?
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*bump*
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>>17417747
Let it go.
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Let it go friend, it won't happen. As many times as you hear this on a day to day basis, there are plenty of fish in the sea mate. I get you can't help the way you feel about someone, but the one thing you can control is your spine.
Your closure will only bring you wounded pride and heart-ache, so save yourself the trouble and realise that nothing good will come from it. She betrayed you, she doesn't deserve the time of day; the thoughts you have of her will become less and less frequent until she becomes nothing but a happy reminder of how she changed you as a person for the better.
I speak from experience, the exact same happened to me near enough.
tl;dr not worth it you'll move on in time
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Do it! Parden my language, but fuck all of y'all who say "let it go". If you live in another city then do it. Because you have little to nothing to lose from talking to her. So what if she gets weirded out? It's not like you talk anymore or see each other. How will talking to her right now effect your day-to-day experience? If you have nothing to lose then do it. Nothing is stopping you.
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>>17417836
Not OP, but thank you for this. This was extremely warming.
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>>17417747
That's the trouble with social media interactions, a bunch of messages sent back and forth without actually meeting the other person will set up a false intimacy and faux relationship. She had an unreal vision of what you were like, just as you had an unreal idea of what she was. You two are strangers. You both fooled yourselves.
Also, talking about personal anxieties, sadnesses, fears etc online feels like intimacy; but whining in real life will get tiring, frustrating and, finally, annoying. Be more positive.
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>>17417747
Why don't you just kill yourself?
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>>17417991
Is that the old crippling depression again senpai?
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