Is it normal for a LDR to fizzle out once you become comfortable

>>17417394
What do SO and LDR mean?

>>17417394
how long have you known each other/ LDR dated ?

>>17417440
Significant other; long distance relationship.

>>17417441
I met him about 2 years ago, and we've been dating for most of that.

>>17417441
>>17417447
I should add, we've been LDR the entire time and have only met in person once, for a week.

>>17417451
I met my ld gf 2 years ago and I work in order to go to see her as much as I can, she is 5 hours by bus but still is hard for me, sometimes I cant get to see her so much. Maybe you two should talk about it? It's very hard but if there are true feelings then it is totally worth it

>>17417451
well, then i might have some sad news for you.
Infatuation, be it for a person you meet on a daily basis or a LDR partner in this case - I suppose, usually lasts
UP TO 2 years.
And thing is, most LDR that are actually successful in maintaining the R part either meet regularly or transform to a conventional biz by relocating.
It might be hes just occupied atm ,but at the same time, 2 years is quite a while and by then you guys should be .. well.. used to have the other one around.
Im not saying its over, just might need some restructuralizin..

>>17417456
I've brought it up a couple of times, and he reassured me that everything was fine and apologized for the lack of communication, and that he was just very very busy. It's been this way for months now, and I can't help but feel a bit neglected. At the same time, I feel guilty for expecting so much of him.

>>17417467
It's going to be long distance for a few more years, probably. We've never really discussed the possibility of closing the distance, so there's an air of uncertainty hanging over the relationship.

Maybe this was doomed from the start.

>>17417394
if it's a committed relationship they should at least be trying to talk to you once a day, even if its just for a few minutes. it takes less than a minute to send a text. if someone is supposed to be so busy they can't talk to you for a week then either something is up or they're simply too busy for a relationship. i think you're getting played, anon

>>17417488
How far apart are you guys? I met my wife online and she lived about 6 hours away. We were together for a few months before wanting to see each other. I'd think after two years you would have worked out some sort of meet up, even it was for the weekend or something. And I also, don't remember ever going days without talking. At the very least we'd just let each other know if we were gonna be busy that day and what not. But that was just our relationship, can't speak for yours but it doesn't really seem like it's moving forward.

>>17417488
thats the spirit!
give it few more weeks (tho I find it kinda strange you havent established how is the "relationship" -excuse my quotes- supposed to work) and then initiate The Talk.
Theres nothing wrong with wanting intimacy albeit through the power of the net. However close r-ships are demanding and by definition,imho, unsustainable - unless youre against physical contact or some junk.

>>17417451
You're not dating.

>>17417497
I guess you're right anon. I still care about him, and I really like him, so I'm hesitant to end the relationship.

>>17417499
Thousands of miles apart. It's too expensive to visit on a regular basis. Tbh I feel like the relationship has devolved into casual penpals.

>>17417451
LDRs typically only really work when the relationship is established considerably before the distance. There's no reason for people to wait for each other when they don't really know what they're waiting for.

>>17417514
Maybe it's time to end it and move on OP. I know it's easier said that done but don't put your life on hold.

It depends on the person. I'm insane and would go weeks between talking to my best friend if he was out of town. So that alone is normal in an ldr.

I'm currently in an LDR and we talk about once a week. But in all honesty, OP, you need to make a change. The only reason I'm able to hold my relationship together is because she's gonna move here soon. I had a talk with her, told her either we move together or we break up because I lover her but needed more than telephone.

>>17417525
You're probably right anon.

>don't put your life on hold
Unfortunately I don't really have much of a life.

Ending this will be the straw that breaks the camel's back, I'll leave as quietly and discreetly as I can.

>>17417535
I'll try to bring it up again, but I'm not really sure how to do so without making it seem like I'm giving him a manipulative ultimatum.

>>17417545
It was not an ultimatum at all, thankfully. I just had to say "I want you to move here, with me." She starting crying with joy as if she had been waiting for me to say it. Makes me wish I brought it up sooner.

Regardless, there comes a point where you realize that the LDR isnt getting you what you want. The years tick by as you keep waiting and you cant take it anymore. You can either change the situation (best outcome), end it (sad, but a new beginning) or cheat (sadly, the most common outcome in my experience). I lucked out.

>>17417394
You are ugly and or fat. Or you have low self worth. I say this not to be mean but girls can get guy interested in them just being average looking. Why else would you be pining for someone from long distance.
He is just using you and doesn't consider you a girlfriend. When a guy loves a girl he puts in effort. Also, no guy goes too long without sex unless he is a complete loser & has no options.
Learn. Develop yourself as a person first so you aren't a loser waiting all day near phone waiting for scraps if his attention. Fall in live with yourself first. Move on

>>17417394
im in kind of a long distance relationship and my so has days where she barely messages me. im kind of worried about it. not sure if its normal. she lives about 40 mins away on the train.

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>>17417610
Are you really asking a girl to develop herself?

>>17417394
I was in a long distance relationship and didn't speak to him for 2 months purposefully. I was trying to ghost him.

Take the hint and do not try to contact him.

>>17417647
You sound like a cunt. Especially for ghosting someone you were with.

>>17417394
Not really.
You have been dating 2 years and only met once, it isn't a relationship.
I've known people who lived 3000 miles apart and they would see each other more than once every 2 years, if you both aren't making an effort to visit each other for extended periods at one another's home towns at least once a year then you aren't trying nor are you in love.

Yes, you are stupid.

Break up and accept that it was a silly idea to begin with, maybe your next boyfriend will take pity on your poor decision if you are stupid enough to tell him you were in love with someone you spent a week with.

>>17417647
how could you be in a relationship and not speak to someone for 2 months? lol. did he not try to message you or something? this makes no sense. sounds like you both stopped giving a fuck.

>>17417647
>I was trying to ghost him.
if this isnt bait, you're a shitty person and you should kill yourself.

>>17417660
He did contact me; messaged me through e-mail and Skype and every other means we had of communication. He thought I had died or something had happened because I ghosted for so long.

Cool, I thread right up my ally way!
I'm in an LDR too, dating for almost a year and we plan to close the distance by September or so. Was in a previous (shitty) LDR for almost 5 years, I got the bare minimum of contact because they were stuck into video games and when they decided to actually speak to me via Skype, it was me making the most effort of conversations. Later find out they were speaking to other people and sending pictures (complete break of trust) but me being stupid I still stayed with them for another 2 years (I'm dumb i know)

My current relationship is now becoming like my first so my tolerance is very small. He says he plays games to minimize stress, but after breaking down in the street in floods of tears (when we recently spent a month together) begging him to not treat me like my first relationship. But he is.

I have no friends to go to for advise and i dont know what to do. I love him dearly so i guess i would like advise on how to cope with feeling alone? I tried picking up hobbies but im so depressed that everything puts me in a slump.

>>17417678
why didnt you just end it with him? you obviously wouldent like it if someone ghosted you. what you did was cruel.

Sorry OP but I've had a few boyfriends like that and most are really just trying to ghost you. It does suck without that sense of closure. If it's a few weeks since he last contacted you, he could just be busy, but you still have to think about whether such a busy person presents an unsustainable difference from you. If it's two months-- probably ghosting, I'm sorry.

>>17417610
One of the few guys I dated who didn't ghost me, well I still couldn't be with him, because he gave me sufficient emotional attention, but the difference in libido was too vast, by that I mean his was too low. People like you, are the problem, by demanding that guys must always want sex, you see them now desperately clawing for it like it's the only meaning in life and whining about killing themselves if they don't get it and feeling entitled to it. And those who are not sheeple, just get insulted for not always wanting sex or treating it as such a big deal

>>17417671
Yeah the anon you replied to, is
shitty. But I love how she demonstrated that a girl ignoring the guy, gets everyone giving her death threats, but no one does that to the boyfriend of OP's posts. If OP were a guy and a girl was ignoring him, everyone would be slagging the girl hard and saying he's being cheated on. Bizarre.

>>17417711
>ut no one does that to the boyfriend of OP's posts.
yeah because we dont know ops bfs situation. the anon you refer to, done it purposely, and with the intent to ghost.

>>17417711
Not all guys want sex a lot. Most guys do. Just using facts they have more testosterone thus higher sex drive. That's biology. I don't demand or expect men to be horny all the time. These just my observations and experience.