Hello /adv/, I need to know what to do at this point. I think

>>17417128
Op here, maybe I should note aswell that I get moments of EXTREME claustrophobia. My room is very small, and when I start thinking and introspecting I feel like the walls are too close and that I can't get enough air.

I get this even in wide open spaces to a lesser extent and it's more of a feeling of the world is collapsing on me.

Usually can take deep breaths or do some type of activity and it goes away. Working 2 jobs helps me keep my mind feeling useful because the activity prevents the claustrophobic feelings.

These events are usually accompanied by despair and loneliness. I have friends, family, and a lover but I've never told anyone about it. It's such a despairingly lonely occurrence, and think about things like "people will feel annoyed they had to be at my funeral."

>Growing way too fast?
Nah, I'd just say you're getting your shit together.

The problem is with the girl.
My only solution I can offer is this.
A) Go for a long distance relationship (I don't recommend this)

B) Save some $$$, and move in with her. If you have to, come up with an excuse so she doesn't think you're weird.

B) is a drastic option.

But this is your happiness. Come on. Money shouldn't be a huge deal here.

However, before you take B), I have to ask you:

Are you absolutely, 100% sure that she's also crazy for you? Are you sure this is not a phase.

I"m only asking because I don't know you. I don't know anything about your relationship. So I want you to ask yourself instead.

As for your claustrophobia, I'd recommend only telling a doctor about it.

But for now, move into a larger area.

But it seems that you feel like you can't do anything right. Or that you aren't being useful.
If you're not feeling useful, you feel the world collapsing.

I can tell already that you're better than 95% of college students who do nothing but party, get wasted, or play video games all day without doing anything.

You MIGHT have imposter syndrome.
It means that no matter what you do, you're not good enough.

Anyways if you need something to talk about just reply here.
http://www.fastcompany.com/3036006/hit-the-ground-running/8-practical-steps-to-getting-over-your-impostor-syndrome

>>17417292
After reading that article I definitely think I might have imposter syndrome. I always call myself stupid and say I suck at my hobbies. It's almost beyond being humble. I always compliment my SO on how damn smart she is because she really does impress me with just raw intellect even without as much schooling. I always call myself stupid with enough knowledge forced into my brain that people will pay me for it. I really do think I am stupid, and I can't accept compliments or gifts. I always talk my way out of them.

My SO keeps telling me though that I'm very impressive, mature, old beyond my years, a deep thinker, intelligent, but I always brush it off in a playful way. I want to find it flattering but I find it makes me feel not good enough when I get complimented. Like what people perceive about me is way to high.

I mean just some examples, she asked me to take an pattern is test online to show me I as intelligent. I scores a 145 which is bullshit, the likelihood that I am that smart is so miniscule not to mention it being an online test.

I was practicing a piece on my guitar called "preludio triston" and she wanted to listen. Told me she loves listening to me practice because my playing is beautiful.

I don't think my problem is necessarily with the girl. I think it's just making me realize how fucked I am in the head. I do think she is crazy for me, she's told me thing like I thought no guy could offer me anything but money until you came around. Obviously we still have to grow and find out if this is it.

I'm thinking about going to a campus counselor, this might be deeper running than I thought

File: 1415693764471.gif (867KB, 245x184px) Image search: [Google]

867KB, 245x184px

learn Buddhist meditation :)

http://www.urbandharma.org/udharma4/mpe1-4.html

skip to chapter 1

>>17417351
You have imposter syndrome.

Love is good. It adds happiness. But if you're not happy when not in her presence, then you have to change the way you look at yourself.

So go to your counselor and talk.

But also, do this:

1. Go to a quiet place.
2. Sit down in a comfortable position.
3. Close your eyes.
4. Imagine every single negative thing about yourself. Visualize them as giant words floating in the air. Then, make them go inside a toilet and flush it.
5. Next, just focus on your breathing.

Just do this. Don't say anything about it not working.
Give yourself a chance.

>>17417351
Smoke pot.

>>17417665
>>17417665
I actually used to. It put me in a dark place, didn't feel like I was having fun. I just felt panicked and depressed.my friend told me it was the strain, but never made a difference.

>>17417815
I wouldn't rely on drugs for happiness.

They're a temporary thing. What happens is that when the supply runs out, then you're back to feeling like shit.

I really recommend you do meditation instead.

Silently tell yourself while breathing this:
"I am great."
"I may not be the best at everything, but that's okay because I try."

>>17418017
Yeah I don't really wanna do drugs.

Rethinking about much of this, I'm thinking the imposter stuff is product of a bigger mental issue. I do meditate already but not as much as I used to. I had a really inspirational English teacher who taught me, she was a really big hippie type haha. I feel happy temperamentally, but I feel like it's just an overlay for this overwhelming void.

Deep down I really hurt and I don't know why. I'll be sitting around after a productive day and I just want to curl up and scream.

I feel trapped, and I think that's what causes the claustrophobia feeling. It can be really overwhelming. Like I stopped in my room once and froze up and gaspes for air like I was in a coffin. It felt like being in a coffin.