I think I lost interest in women I'm 30 years old, software

Gonna give this thread a second shot

It's hard to say without knowing you whether you had some bad apples or (given that a few people had the same response to you) you're not that self aware and don't realize that there's a reason for you being the element these issues have in common.

But either way, you should look after what YOU want in life. If you are happy being single and don't feel the desire to get with someone, why would you care how others live their life? And you can still decide you want to try to get laid every now and then without having a relationship.

>>17417100

Like I said I don't really care for purely sexual relationships, I'm mostly a pretty sentimental guy when I get going that mostly desires mutual intimacy more than anything else

I guess I still have some kind of hope that I'd meet someone decent for me but I don't feel like putting any effort into finding them because there are a lot of other things I'd rather pursue and my energy and time are finite resources

Ultimately I sometimes wonder if I'll come to regret those choices but for now they seem right, but the 30 years mark has been kind of a wake up call for some of my insecurities I guess.

I'm afraid that's what happens when you get an engineering degree

>>17417119
Oh sorry, because you specified one night stands I thought that it was more the entire lack of a non-sexual click than not being in a relationship. Although I should add that even if that would appeal to you, finding a good FWB who is on the same wavelength in terms of expectations and preferences, is harder than finding an actual romantic partner.

I think it's worth to search yourself for the answer there, but the things you describe in your OP are also not things that are necessarily apparent right from the get go. You don't want to have to wade through years of relationships before being able to conclude that it's not going to work out. So if I were you I would take a hard look at my past relationships and try to define as many issues as you can - with the way you behaved in the relationships, and with the way the women behaved and whether you could've seen that coming and missed earlier signs.

You don't have to decide right away just because you're approaching a cultural milestone, but if this is such a topic for you I think it's only beneficial to try to get more insight in how this worked and works for you.

>>17417013
Maybe you are not compatible with girls and you need a man. Maybe the girls arround you are not the kind of girls you want to socialise.

Try something diferent, change your social group, go to other places, you ever try to find a girl that has the same hobbies as you?
Although in a relationship both need to sacrifice a little for the happiness of the other you probably need to be with someone that you feel comfortable before sacrifice anything.

>>17417144

that makes sense, I also admit I wasn't in the best of mental states during those relationships and I'm to blame for some of the things that happened.

I've come to realize I'm an extremely emotionally dependent person, in both friendships and romantic relationships. I tend to desire people to commit themselves to me so I can commit myself to them, it's in those situations where I feel most at ease. I tend to then feel threatened, confused and angry whenever that intimacy starts to waver and people move away from me. I'm not sure if there are deep seated reasons for that and I can't see therapy helping much with that so I just got into the habit of trying to embrace it, but it has not been working very well at least on the romantic side.

I should specify that I always try my hardest to not express my jealousy, and I've been actually accused of exactly the contrary, not being aggressive enough in my fight against the breakups. Something or other about being "too reasonable". I believe what it really meant is that I was percieved as not invesed enough emotionally ? Which is weird, considered how much I actually was.

But in the end, I feel like part of it is my habit of showing a lot of my vulnerabilities to the women I build a relationship with often leads into them losing respect for me and stop seeing me as the confident male I use as a front in every day life. More than once I had relationships turn from them admiring me to suddendly becoming dotting mothers to my "cute side", untill they grew tired of that too and ended up pursuing other males. It stings, but I'm not sure what I can do about that.

>>17417160

I have tried being sexually with other men and it didn't work out very well. While my emotional attachment to other males is often deep (at least important friends), sexual intimacy is just out of the question for me. I dislike their smell, I dislike the feel of their skin, I dislike the hair, I dislike the heat they seem to generate. Being with a man makes me feel nauseous and uncomfortable.

I'm sad to admit my hobbies are lonely things that are hard to share, I like writing and coding and drawing and playing single player videogames. I guess a lot of them might sound juvenile, and it probably is true, but I've stayed very young in my head despite my age.

>>17417164
Okay let me state again that I don't know you, and you shouldn't care too much about my impression if you know yourself to be different, but I just wanted to point out what is striking to me. Pick whatever you feel might ring true for you.

If you look at your OP, a lot of the things you mention have to do with a lack of respecting your independence as an individual, also apart from the relationship. (Disliking hobbies they don't personally like, disrespecting your agency over your own life, glossing over your sexual preferences.) However in this post you mention that you are looking for someone who is exceptionally attached to you, and who is wanting to both give and receive a big amount of emotional support. That is pretty much bound to attract women who have a relationship ideal that is more clingy than the "you live your life, I live mine" outlook. You don't describe in depth what kind of traits you expect from a girl other than bare commitment, but it seems quite likely to me that you are initially attracted to girls who are needy and looking for a rock, and subsequently suffocated by the reality of that in a long term relationship. Could it be that a woman with a more moderate view, high self respect and more independence, like the "I want you but I don't need you" type, make you feel insecure becauses you find it hard to believe that they are committed and you are valuable to them when they clearly also get by without you? If that is the case then you need to delve into that to be able to deal with a woman who is both affectionate and more autonomous.

Something else is that you mention that you have a front in everyday life. Obviously that is not the best way to attract someone who wants you for who you are deep down. To me, true confidence is not a matter of not having vulnerabilities, it's a matter of being at ease with your vulnerabilities and not condemning yourself over them.

>>17417180
Kind of like how how the ultimate cool people get away with everything because they don't need to prove that they're cool anymore. Reading what you wrote my first impression is that you have not made peace with your imperfections, and thus fall into extremes: you are either hiding them or airing them excessively, because you are not confident enough about it to be able to show them naturally in everyday situations.

And for the final two notes - being reasonable, I again see that you are (actively?) projecting an image that does not reflect how you feel. And I just wanted to point out that this passion (whether it shows in jealousy or sexuality), this being able to bask in your emotions for someone and showing that, is a big part of a good sex life and an inclination to "man up" and tone it down might get in the way sexually as well.

>>17417180

Damn, that was actually spot on. Mh.

I'm kind of at a loss of word here, that logic is sound and it does fit my experience and perspective of what happened.

So you think the first issue is my confidence, and I should work on that to create a more healthy environment for a relationship.

How does one work on his confidence tho ? I used to believe things would get better with time but they didn't really. I guess part of the issue is that I don't feel I accomplished much or reached any of the goals I set for myself when I was younger, but they're pretty lofty goals and they're hard/long to match. Certainly reaching them would help, but I don't see most people overly concerned about being admirable individuals and they seem confident enough. Is there something I'm missing ?

>>17417169
Is ok, im in the same things im 27 and I feel like is not rasonable to someone of my age.

Go to conventions of videogames, go to some writing or drawing club, if these dont work try other things idk sports, gym, swiming, traveling. You dont really need someone but looks like you want to share yourself with the world and dont find any that worth to do so.
Just keep searching or just let the world see how are you and the correct girl would find you.

>>17417124
Heehee this

File: 1407607405460.gif (259KB, 800x824px) Image search: [Google]

259KB, 800x824px

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka/kn/snp/snp.1.03.than.html