TLDR; Cousin emotionally cheated on husband, now getting a divorce.

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TLDR; Cousin emotionally cheated on husband, now getting a divorce. How do I work past my loss of respect for her to save our relationship?

My cousin (Abby) is getting a divorce from her husband (Sam). They have two kids together (the boy is 6, the girl is 5). They've been married for right at 7 years.

This divorce is completely Abby's fault. They moved out of state when they married. Sam is a full-time manager at a company with great benefits, however he has to work weekends/holidays and that puts a strain on the relationship. Sam is a wonderful person and he is head-over-heels in love with Abby.

Abby had her two kids about a year apart and became a stay at home mom (previously she was in school for nursing). She was super depressed and run down from raising two kids. She picks fights with Sam constantly about nothing. Sam is a great dad. When he comes home from work, he plays with the kids. He lets Abby take a break from "being a mom".

Fast forward to last year. The kids are in school and Abby wants to start college to continue her nursing degree. She starts small, takes Paramedic classes and volunteers at the local station. She loves it! She's not home as much, but she's losing weight and feeling better about herself.

(Now the fun begins.)

She meets a guy (also a volunteer EMT) and starts getting emotionally involved with him. But, and these are her words, she hasn't cheated because they haven't kissed. This goes on for several months.

Within the last month, Abby and Sam have sold their house. They are separated, but not yet divorced. Abby now lives in an apartment. She is still seeing the "other guy".


I'm against divorce. I'm completely against cheating, be it emotional or physical.

Abby and I grew up together. We are 2 months apart in age. I know we'll never be super best buddies again, but there is still a strong desire to save mine and Abby's relationship. How can you do that when you have lost sooo much respect for someone?