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So I told my friend that I have feelings for her the other day and she says she doesn't have the same feelings for me. Last year when we met, we used to make out in my car and things were moving really fast for me so I kind of made some bullshit excuse saying I would rather date her in the future. We had a talk on the phone today because I was mad at myself for a lot of things I potentially did that made myself less attractive to her. She told me that after the first rejection and she got to know me that she feels we are better as friends, and she kind of hinted that dating isn't out of the question but I'm not sure if that's what she meant. She said she just really doesn't want to lose me as a friend because she is comfortable with me and can tell me anything she said she still thinks I'm very cute. We used to flirt all the time but I stopped flirting with her a long time ago because i wanted to be her friend. Is it too late for me? Do you think I could possibly over time turn this into something? Should I just move on to somebody new? ATM I'm hanging out with a lot of different people trying to get my mind off of her. I keep convincing myself that if I improve myself and subtly start flirting more that I might just win her back. Is that a bad mindset?
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>>17416100
Its not impossible to win her back, but its very unlikely. I'll tell you right now that if it does work, it'll take a long time. I dated a chick for 3 months, she broke up with me, and she said she just wanted to be friends, wasn't ready for a relationship, etc. I was really upset because she was perfect for me and I was being 'friendzoned', but I stayed friends with her and went after other chicks while improving myself, making sure she was aware of both. We've been dating for a while, now. So yeah, the friendzone doesn't really exist, in the sense that if she's into you in the very least, it can work. Just expect a big time investment, and make sure she's well aware you don't need her. Desperation isn't sexy.
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>>17416107
I kind of dropped the "I haven't had feelings like this for anyone in a long time" bomb on the phone. I feel like I fucked up there and that just dropped her attraction even lower lol. I'm going into the military soon so like that might have something to do with her decision? I would like to hear your story if you have the time. Any more tips would be appreciated.
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How the fuck are you supposed to have a relationship with someone and tell them how you feel if telling them is unsexy and makes you look desperate?
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>>17416453
Because you gotta show confidence and have sexual chemistry first. Otherwise its just weird when your platonic friend comes out with feelings for you.
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So when do you know you have sexual chemistry?
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you're her backup plan
tell her to fuck off
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>>17416453
Ask her on dates. Flirt. Fool around. you can tell her how you feel, but not before you've even tested the waters. You should try things out and see how well you work together, romantically, before dumping all your feelings like that.
In my experience, girls develop feelings over time through actual experience. Guys either develop feelings, or don't, pretty shortly after meeting someone. So you have to take it one step at a time. If you START OUT with "I love you," it feels kinda like a car salesman trying to make you write a check before you've had a test-drive.
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