>Girl flirts and goes out of her way for me >Get my hopes

>>17410930
For the same reason that men do it.

>Girl flirts and goes out of her way for me
You mean
>girl acts completely normal
>but you, being the autistic sperglord that you are, misread this as flirting because you've never had any female attention in your life
>and somehow it's her fault for 'leading you on'

Fuck off. If randomly blurting out "You're the bomb anon" for no reason isn't flirting then I don't know what is.

>>17410939
This is a summary of 99.99999999% of the posts here

>>17410934
They don't though, you stupid whore. Men are known to be loyal.

>>17410944
>he actually thinks that's flirting
It's not, I promise you

>>17410944
Read
>>17410939

Also, flirting doesn't mean anything. It's just bantering with the opposite sex

Who gives a fuck

There's always another chick out there for you.

Not OP, but you still haven't answered his question.
I've had similar experiences like this, girl going to a movie with me, giving me a passionate kiss, going out with me etc.
And then I find out through an aquaintance that she'd had a boyfriend for 6 months.
Yeah, I know that I'm a bitter virgin out of /r9k/ who is delusional and should kill myself, but just this once give me a benefit of the doubt and explain it.
And no, the person being an "asshole" isn't an explanation. These cases are too frequent, even if you think most of them are just false flags.

Why do you assume just because they have boyfriends they're not into you?

People cheat way more than you would imagine.

>>17410948
>Men are known to be loyal.

lol

>>17410944
That is not flirting my friend. That is the epitome of friend zone.

>>17411001
Maybe not the men you choose, but just look at statistics.

>>17411001
I'd say on average men are more loyal because a man is capable of saying no to a 9/10 just out of loyalty to his gf.

It's physically impossible for a woman to resist a 9/10 man unless her bf is a 10/10

>>17411012
What statistics?

>>17411021
>I'd say on average men are more loyal because a man is capable of saying no to a 9/10 just out of loyalty to his gf.
>It's physically impossible for a woman to resist a 9/10 man unless her bf is a 10/10

What world are you living in?

Men fuck around all damn the time.

>>17411001
>>17411012
>>17411021
>>17411023
I'd complain that you guys derailed the thread, but it's not like it had any value to begin with

>>17411032
Yeah, the OP composed his post badly. It's not like this doesn't happen often to unexperienced young males though.

Because women are sluts and feel a sense of power the more guys they have chasing after them.

>>17411036
No, he composed his post just fine. He just can't identify where he's made a mistake and/or has a victim complex

>>17411049
Are you actually thinking those things happened to him recently? Be real, threads like these are usually just people wondering about stuff that happened to them long ago and how they could've acted better. Give the guy a break, it's not his fault that he may be bad in social situations.

>>17411021
How's /r9k/ treating you friend?

Are people actually just insulting and belittling each other while ignoring the question?
Don't act like this doesn't happen, not all of us can handle these situations with grace. I'm really bad at reading emotions in conversations, so girls are a fucking mystery to me.
Am I a monster to you because of that?

>>17411076
Yes

>>17411076
Who called you a monster?

Hell.

The girls probably were just being friendly with you.

And even if they were actually flirting, it's all moot because they're in relationships, and you shouldn't get with someone who's already with someone else.

That's the whole answer to your question.

>>17411089
How the fuck am I supposed to know they are in a relationship? Why would you flirt with someone you know won't ever have a chance with you. It's just plain mean. How is this my fault? You still didn't answer why they do it!
I wasn't even the OP by the way, just so you know.

>>17411101
People flirt all the time, it's fun, get over it. If someone says "your the bomb anon", that isn't flirting anyway, that's a girl making 100% sure you understand you are just a friend.

>>17411108
>get over it
It's still not my fault!
I'm not the OP, I made that clear.
Why do you act like people don't do this kind of stuff. Why do you act it's ok to lead someone on? And no, I don't think OP's situation was necessarily that, but that doesn't mean it doesn't happen. I've had it happen to me. I don't want to be with people anymore, I'm tired of social games. I just want to know why.

>Why would you flirt with someone you know won't ever have a chance with you.

Because flirting doesn't always have to mean something. It's just bantering with the opposite sex.

It's just introverts and people with a limited social circle who get confused by this and make more out of it than it is.

>>17411114
I know youre not op, and literally just answered your questions. Flirting is fun. As you seem to be semi autistic like op, you are probably assuming things are flirting that are not. You can give some examples if you like?

>>17411101
>How the fuck am I supposed to know they are in a relationship?
Maybe they'll tell you. Maybe they won't. Maybe it'll be on their facebook page.

>Why would you flirt with someone you know won't ever have a chance with you. It's just plain mean.

Some people enjoy flirting, and some people who you think are flirting aren't actually flirting, they're just being nice and striking up a conversation. It's usually good to assume they're just being nice until you're really sure they're attracted to you.

And that's something a lot of men have difficulty with. So they ask girls who they think are interested to hang out, and her response is a good indicator of whether or not she's been interested or if she's not.

>How is this my fault? You still didn't answer why they do it!

It's not your fault.

.

>>17411118
I posted this:>>17410996
Use that as an example. Other times I've had girls suddenly wanting to date me and dumped me couple weeks later because they got back with their ex. Why would you use someone like that? It's mean and it hurts.

>>17411114
It doesn't matter that it's your fault or not. It's a part of life, and you're better off getting over it than having long-term hang-ups and fits of despair over it. Let rejection make you stronger, not weaker.

>>17411133
>get over it
I'd much rather just hang myself than live a constant life of getting used to being taken advantage of and gorw to be even more of a bitter sad cynic.
But thanks anyway.

File: g7-kruen-obama-bee_3332809b.jpg (72KB, 620x387px) Image search: [Google]

72KB, 620x387px

>>17411140
Ok. When you're done wallowing in self-pity and defeat, come back for advice.

>>17411155
If your grand advice is "get over it", I think I'm going to find someone else to give me some. Also, the fact that you hold yourself in such a high regard that you can just swoop an individual as self-pitying defeatist tells a lot about your character.
Have a nice day regardless.

People are selfish. That's just life.

Either find some way to improve yourself and become Chad or do nothing and continue to be disregarded as Beta Bill. These are your only two options.

>>17411166
You said you'd rather hang yourself than deal with reality like an adult.

That's clearly self-pity.

Sometimes, women want to talk to you without fucking you or being in a relationship with you. That's just life. You can't change that, so the only other option is to deal with it.

I sincerely don't want you to kill yourself, by the way. Getting over it is the best way to deal with it.

>>17411125
That's not flirting mate. Perhaps you come off as to desperate and needy?

>>17411140
If this is you, I can see why they don't want to stay with you. You sound like a spoilt child.

>>17411166
He isnt me. So you have at least 2 people saying the same thing.

i assume that flirty people are probably more promiscuous, but who knows.

I remember reading somewhere that some people do it just to "test" their partner to see how they will respond. kinda shitty imo

>>17411183
>spoiled chil
How exaclty? Because I'm autistic and depressed?
I don't want a girlfriend, I never have started these relationships. I'm just wondering why I'm being used so often. Getting over it is not going to happen, you don't get over of mental illnesses.
I hope you understand that.
If my only choice is to deal with this, then why should I? I don't want to deal with these kind of people, they don't want to deal with me. I don't bring anything to anyone's table.
Why am I spoiled for wanting to get rid of this kind of pain?

>>17411206
Autism isn't a mental illness. People probably like you at first, then you sperg out. I dunno. Maybe just don't get so attached to somone afer one date. You are acting spoilt as you act like he world owes you some perfect girl. Everyone has to de with assholes, girls and guys. It part of life.

>>17411215
You keep ignoring half of my posts and spurting this nonsense of me being too needy. Where did you get that? I already said I've never wanted a girlfriend in the first place.
And yes, autism isn't a mental illness, longterm depression, social anxiety and suicidal tendencies are.
If you have nothing else to offer this conversations should end.

>>17411206
>Why am I spoiled for wanting to get rid of this kind of pain?

Honestly? There's nothing wrong with wanting to get rid of it. Because everyone goes through it. You're not special in this regard. But you really do have to do something to get past that sense of victimhood.

>Getting over it is not going to happen, you don't get over of mental illnesses.

You can get over a lot of them. I'm saying this as a guy who also has to deal with depression and loneliness. And it starts by acknowledging that you do have power in your own life.

I don't know your situation, but I do know that I've had to get through a lot of shit in life by holding on to whatever optimism I had and barreling through the feelings of despair and hopelessness.

I really hope this helps. I was sincere when I said I don't want you to kill yourself. People grow and change all the time.

You've got to re-think mental illness. Yes, it is something that may very well be with you for the rest of your life. But rather than a death sentence, you have to think of it as a hurdle to get over. You have to learn how to emotionally and mentally adapt to the dark days. You have that power.

>>17411236
I have depression, and can function normally. If you don't want a girlfriend why do you go out with these girls? It doesn't make any sense? You get upset with me and sperg out when I don't tell you what you want to hear, rather than just having a discussion and actually listening.

>>17411257
>have depression
>function normally
Nice logical fallacy there friend. If your depression means shit like feeling sad from time to time then yes, good job, you can function normally. And that doesn't medically count as actual depression, you can't get diagnosed for that. However, if you think you have something like a major depressive disorder you are just bullshiting to make your argument better.
>If you don't want a girlfriend why do you go out with these girls?
Because I'm retarded and think that maybe this time it's just someone nice and not an asshole trying to get someone jealous/make herself feel better.

>>17411280
>Because I'm retarded and think that maybe this time it's just someone nice and not an asshole trying to get someone jealous/make herself feel better.

How do these conversations usually go? What do they say to make you think they're interested in you?

>>17411280
Dude, you have a real victim mentality; work on that shit.

>>17411280
Well considering I have actual diagnosed clinical depression and am on meds for it, id say it's not just "feeling sad from time to time". Depression doesn't make you sperg out over a girl being a bitch.

>>17411280
>Because I'm retarded and think that maybe this time it's just someone nice and not an asshole trying to get someone jealous/make herself feel better.

So you do want a girlfriend, you just tell yourself you don't when someone fucks you over? Newsflash, everyone gets fucked over. Find people who haven't left a relationship recently to start with.

>>17410944
>then I don't know what is.
Yeah.

>>17411292
I don't honestly care, I'm just tired of bullshit.
But when I say I want to die I'm suddenly spoiled brat, so why the fuck should I even try? So I could with the people that made me feel like this? What kind of a fucked up goal is that?
>>17411294
You should have mentioned meds when you said you function "normally". Medications only caused issues for me.
And yeah people get fucked over, but everybody has their fucking limit. I don't know your whole life, you don't know mine. It's starting to get pointless to argue about this.
I've personally had enough and that's it. I don't have the mental capacity to get girls, because as you said, I sperg out.

>>17411101
>How the fuck am I supposed to know they are in a relationship?
Why would you presume they're not?

>Why would you flirt with someone you know won't ever have a chance with you.
Saying 'you're the bomb' isn't flirting. But many people are just naturally flirtatious. You can't control this, you can only accept it and begin to manage your expectations.

>>17411280
>If your depression means shit like feeling sad from time to time then yes, good job, you can function normally. And that doesn't medically count as actual depression, you can't get diagnosed for that.

Yeah, I'm gonna have to call bullshit on this. The two main things you need for a diagnostic are: feelings of hopelessness/helplessness and lost of joy/interest in things.

>>17411327
I'm not the OP, I've said that multiple times now.
And if someone starts to suddenly flirt and spend time with me then yes, I presume they are not in a relationship. What kind of a fucked up world is the kind that you assume everyone else but you is in a relationship?

>>17411319
>But when I say I want to die I'm suddenly spoiled brat, so why the fuck should I even try

This is the sort of thing 13 year old girls say when they want attention. Some flirty bitch doesn't make people want to kill themselves, you have other things you need to sort out.

You should try different meds. I get almost no side effects, and can actually enjoy things again.

>>17411319
>I've personally had enough and that's it. I don't have the mental capacity to get girls, because as you said, I sperg out.

You just need to chill out and take a stwp back. Just have fun, if things go further, that's great. Don't make too much of something too early, and don't take things to heart. People aren't trying to hurt you, some people are just stupid and don't know what they want.

>>17411336
>And if someone starts to suddenly flirt and spend time with me then yes, I presume they are not in a relationship.

Give me an example of how they flirt with you.

>>17411125
>girls suddenly wanting to date me and dumped me couple weeks later because they got back with their ex
That's not necessarily using you, people can't see the future.

As for making out with you while having a steady boyfriend, there's not much else to call that but being an asshole. Maybe you just have the misfortune to encounter a lot of those. I don't happen to be one or (knowingly) know any so I can't explain their psyche. I doubt many other 4channers have enough game to be in that position.

This is all bullshit. I thought that point in flirting was to signal interest in someone. So why do that if you are taken? I find that disrespectful to your partner and shitty for the person you are flirting with. Just don't fucking do it

1. Different people have different levels of flirtiness.

2. When I'm in a relationship, I still flirt with other girls, because a) it's fun for both people, b) they always know I'm in a relationship, and c) I have no intention of cheating on my gf.

3. If you are interacting with a girl, and she seriously feels that you two are getting into "more than friends" flirty category, MOST girls will tell you they have a bf if they do. If you're just joking around and being nice to eachother, but it doesn't feel like more than friends territory, they have no reason to bring up their bf. If a girl asked you for the time on the street, you wouldn't immediately scream "I have a gf!"

4. Anyone who's confused about any of this needs to get better at reading people.

>>17411352
> I thought that point in flirting was to signal interest in someone.

Some people just like to do it. It's fun. Kind of a battle of wits.

>>17411359
Pretty much this. Is just bantz in real life.

>>17411206
>I don't want a girlfriend,
Then don't accept one? You know you can say no when people ask you out, right?

>I'm just wondering why I'm being used so often.
Maybe you're an easy mark that attracts shitty people. Maybe you're just autistic and depressed and have a very skewed perspective of what's happening.

>Getting over it is not going to happen, you don't get over of mental illnesses.
That's not the thing you need to get over, you need to get over the fact that sometimes people will do things you don't like and you can't control it.

>>17411352
Flirting is meaningless, bro. You use it to make yourself and the other person feel good and vice versa.

Sexual innuendo is something else, though.

>>17411342
So what, I have to actually kill myself before I'm going to be taken seriously about suicide?
And good job about the meds, but I'm not you. I've tried different meds in different doses, none helped or caused me to feel worse.
I can agree with you on that last part except I'm not the one enabling these fucking situations, I barely talk to anyone.
>>17411352
Yes, this is what I thought too. Apparently I was wrong.
>>17411359
How is saying "you look hot teehee" for example witty? What the fuck is this nonsense you people are blabbering?
>>17411368
>>17411364
>>17411358
WHAT THE FUCK? FLIRTING ISNT BANTER, BANTER ISNT TELLING/TAKING COMPLIMENTS. ITS THE POLAR FUCKING OPPOSITE.

>>17411280
People with depression can absolutely appear to function normally, as well as use coping mechanisms to reason around the way depression alters their perspective.
In fact, high functioning people with depression, who appear to be not just functioning but over-achieving, tend to be the most at-risk for suicide.

>>17411374
What is flirting?

>>17411374
>So what, I have to actually kill myself before I'm going to be taken seriously about suicide?

No, I just suggested you get help for it. Also suggesting that whatever is happening with this flirting is not a reason for suicide. Also wasn't trying to tell you I'm special, just that they can work. Up to you though obviously.

>>17411374
>How is saying "you look hot teehee" for example witty? What the fuck is this nonsense you people are blabbering?

That's not really flirting, that's just a ditz.

>>17411374
>WHAT THE FUCK? FLIRTING ISNT BANTER, BANTER ISNT TELLING/TAKING COMPLIMENTS. ITS THE POLAR FUCKING OPPOSITE.

Banter doesnt have to be put downs. As said, it's sort of like a battle of wits and funny comments.

File: 1355126492562.png (346KB, 439x500px) Image search: [Google]

346KB, 439x500px

>>17411336
>What kind of a fucked up world is the kind that you assume everyone else but you is in a relationship?

...Earth?

>>17411374
ban·ter/ˈban(t)ər/
verb
talk or exchange remarks in a good-humored teasing way.


Maybe spend less time on 4chan?

>>17411394
>remarks
Remarks!=Compliments

>>17411397
>good-humored teasing way.
Maybe read the whole thing next time?

>>17411394
>>17411397
Banter can also be used as means to get away from insulting someone seriously, so I really don't believe the word is alive in this context you are suggesting.

>>17411402
I did read your post throughly, but the problem is humor is subjective.

>>17411374
I really hope this helps you rather than hurts you.

But if you really don't think you're hot, and an attractive girl says you are, she's either just trying to boost your self-esteem, or she's trying to mess with you.

And, really, that's it. It doesn't mean you have to be alone forever. I sincerely believe that you can find someone you're compatible with. But if you don't think you're attractive, you should not try to bat outside of your league, n'est–ce pas? Don't go after girls that are attractive if you're not attractive.

Every man has to learn that. I did, and you do. That's the truth that you do have to get over. It's a lesson to learn. ok?

>>17411352

There are different levels of flirting. Plenty of people flirt casually with everyone and it's basically just the way they talk. It's not like this is some kind of secret, we may as well be discussing how some women have loud voices. Obviously there are scenarios where someone's flirting could be said to be inappropriate, but that anyone would say flirting is fundamentally intended to signal interest either comes from a specific culture where that's true or doesn't have very much social experience.

>I find that disrespectful to your partner
It doesn't matter how you find it, whether it's acceptable up to the girl and her partner.

>>17411392
What the fuck is a ditz?
And no, just the fact I have been used by people is not the sole cause of me wanting to off myself. I already said in an earlier post that we do not know each other well enough to judge ourselves further than this.

>>17411397

Compliments =/= interest

>>17411409
You need to lighten up a bit.

>>17411409
Ditz: ditzy, silly tarty.

>I already said in an earlier post that we do not know each other well enough to judge ourselves further than this.

Calm down mate. Your on /adv/ but won't take any advice. You have to realise that not everyone sees the world the way you do.

>>17410944
LOL