I have a problem. It's a long story, so to shorten it:

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I have a problem.

It's a long story, so to shorten it: A guy and I tried the long distance relationship thing about a year ago and it didn't pan out. He lied and dumped me for another girl, after I poured my heart out for him about how much I cared about him. Humiliating. 5 days before my birthday, too. I tried to make things work, and I did nothing wrong. We got into a huge fight.

Fast forward to May, and he tells me he still loves me and wants to give it another shot. Initially I say no, but slowly I begin to open up. I made it very clear that he would be doing the work in this relationship, but surprise, surprise, I was the only one trying to communicate and work things out. He wouldn't even talk to me verbally, it was just text. Several days after I found out I was ill with hormonal disorders and a tiny brain tumor, he told me that he didn't know if we should be together. He said he would be there for me while I was sick, and the next day he abandoned me. Not another word for a week.

On that day, I told him to forget all of the romantics. All he said was a long version of 'sorry'. This guy is bad for me, he has hurt me before, and I want nothing romantic to do with him ever again.

The problem is that I feel like if I date anyone else, it would seem like I would do him a disservice. The idea of being with anyone else makes me physically and emotionally sick. It almost feels like it would be cheating, and it repulses and nauseates me.

I bonded to this guy, and I'm loyal to the point that it's sincerely hurting me. How do I get past this? I'm tired of being sad and feeling like I owe this motherfucker something. I owe nothing. What do I do?