I just dont really know what to do. General advice would be nice.

You feel unappreciated and that's understandable. But being there for your mother has also given you an excuse to stop living your life.

Confront your mother. Tell her that you only moved back home to help her and support her, but that you have needs and goals too and you feel like you're being stifled.

Ask your family and friends to give you leads on a job, where it is doesn't really matter much.

If you and your mother reach an understanding, then continue to live with her, save up some money, and decide what you want to do with your life.

If you have to move out then do it. You're not getting anywhere where you are under these conditions. You feel like you have no options but you do; you simply don't want to make any hard decisions, ask for help, and confront your mother. Anon, it's time to be a grownup.

>>17408089
Youre right. I cant really go denyin that.

But what advice so you have for er constant nagging and critiscm...?

How can i not take it so personally?

>>17408141
As adults we learn, or should, that we can't change other people. We can only change how we deal with them, and we learn to take the bad with the good in others.

If your mother is intolerable then confront her. If you can't work it out then at least she knows how you feel. Maybe she'll change herself. At least she should respect you for your forthrightness.

If she's too negative then remove yourself from that environment, or ignore it if you can. It's obviously getting to you.

>>17408155
Thanks lawfag, i think if i just get the hell out if here itll help.

>>17408201
You're welcome. I'm not saying you have to leave, rather that you have to make a decision about how you intend to live your life ongoing.

Changing places can be a good restart, but it doesn't change you. If you need to move then by all means do in order to get on with your own goals and self development.

If you feel paralyzed where you are then it's definitely time to get out while you have the gumption to do so.

>>17408224
I guess i just freeze up when intelk to her, because she is so snide and condescending and it still gets to me despite being an adult.

Its hard to ignore your own mothers opinion of you.

When i lived on my own before my fathers death, i accomplished goals with no problem. Now under her roof its killing any confidence i built away from her.

I think getting away is indeed a good start.

>>17408281
You're letting your father's death paralyze you, Anon. You could use some counselling for sure.

Do you have any outside supports? Good friends or a doctor perhaps?

>>17408333
I used to go to therapy but i stopped shortly after my father died. Im having trouble doing just about anything honestly.

I have a few friends but nothing worth bragging about, but ive more or less always been that way.

My mother has always been overly critical, and being away from her i am happiest. This was even before my fathers passing.

>>17408598
It's pretty clear that you miss your father, and that's understandable. Maybe you are trying to replace your father by moving home to "take care" of your mother. Or you think that your father's death would fundamentally change your relationship with your mother, which it hasn't.

Anon, I'm going to bed shortly. I hope you sort this out. If you want to talk about this more then give me a throw away email. Depending on where you live, I might be able to help more.