Can normalfags be miserable? I watch/read so many stories about

I think I make the list for normie.

>23
>Live with best friend, introvert so don't see other friends, but they still know I'll hang out occasionally
>Girlfriend for the last few years, but we have our issues
>Got a good paying job that's fairly low stress. I don't worry about bills, and everything I own is paid for.


I think no matter where you're at in life, grass is always going to be greener somewhere else at some point.

I'm constantly depressed, and wanting to kill myself. But, it's an empty threat. I'd never do it. I don't get enough alone time, I'm constantly involved. I get off work, and if she's not attempting to guilt trip me into hanging out with her, she's having some sort of crisis that needs my help.

I know, you're thinking "at least you have a fucking GF" but really it's not all that. I think about breaking up all the time. You end up sacrificing so much of you're own personal NEET time as you might be more familiar with, and after awhile, it truly tears you apart.

All I want to do.. Is go home, order a pizza, drink soda, and play video games.. And, the majority of the time, despite having everything a normal guy could ever want, I don't get to do the one thing I'd like to do, based on the responsibilities being a fucking normie comes with.

I don't know how to go about it. I'm between wanting to break up, wanting to kill myself, and wanting to turn my phone off and say fuck everything so that I can get a fucking chance at being able to relax.

I'm miserable, my frog posting friend. And, I'm currently sitting at work posting on 4chan making over 12 bucks an hour, and I'm still absolutely miserable.

I have dreams, I have aspirations, and they're all completely out of reach, due to reality and obligations.

>>17399635

the world isnt divided between normies and frogposters. the best personality tests have at least sixteen options and they arent anywhere near perfect.

you see happiness because you look at people who are smiling. i step on the bus and all i see are people sitting alone on their phone or in their book or just staring blankly, seemingly miserable.

but once they get where they are going they probably arent bored.

my fitness instructor said that i seem like a way too serious guy who takes everything too seriously. my friends see me as a borderline clown. you see what people are presenting in that moment.

most people have an issue where they dont understand beyond the moment. with friends they may think 'wow i am so loved life is great'. then home alone they are like 'wow im lonely THAT MUST MEAN IM SECRETLY MISERABLE EVEN WHEN IM WITH FRIENDS'.

people think whatevery they feel in that moment is permanent. its interesting.

friends a gf and money dont really make people happy. thats why marriages are so shit. its actually having meaningful relationships iwth those people, and more importantly yourself, that define your happiness.

ive been single for four years an im extremely happy. ive had no friends and no gf and no money and been happy.

on the flip side ive had all those things and been miserable.

happiness starts from wtihin and works its way out.

>can normalfags be miserable
Yes.
My life is awesom, but because of screw brain wiring I am chronically depressed and I have an anxiety disorder.
I have little to be depressed or anxious about, I have very few regrets, and my life is almost exactly what I want.
And yet I am depressed and anxious most of the day.
I pretend to be happy, and I try to find moments of real happiness throughout the day; even if it's admiring a pretty bird or finding a good parking spot. But bad feelings are always in the background.
I hide my emotions, and that is very isolating. Because of that I do often feel lonely, despite being happily married, having a great relationship with my parents and siblings, and having real long lasting friendships.

I have to constantly remind myself that it's my brain chemistry screwing with me. But that does actually bring me a measure of comfort.

>>17399635

I am normie. 31, kids married.

I used to be a neet always looking for the quick answer everyone is looking for when it comes to loneliness. The truth is it takes hard work, socializing and putting yourself out there, getting hurt and trying again no matter what.

I also know bad things come for us all. Even if 9/10 posts are trolls. Posting here make my bad things not seem so bad.

I think on here I could be considered a 'normalfag' and my love life is making me feel a little miserable

Last Saturday I went to this big street music festival and I went through 3 different girls, and the funny thing is every girl sort of simbolizes an aspect/stage of my current love life:

In chronological order of meeting them:

-First Girl: Thought at first I was gay, even told me "You must be a Fashion Stylist!" wich I thought was really lame from her. When she realised I was hetero, we sort of made out but she tried to make me be her "soft crying spot". I bailed out.

-Second Girl: Saw her around the crown and thought she was so gorgeous, she standed from the rest. She looked at me and made me feel like she knew me, so I approached her talk with her. We made some chit chat, turns out she knows me and is a fan of my work. We exchanged Facebook Addresses. When I thought about asking her out for a coffee one day, she tells me she's leaving the country the following Monday to pursue a new life outside. That made me feel a little sad, because for once in 2 years I started to feel really engaged on a girl, it was what they call a Crush. I followed her on Instagram days later and she followed me back. I don't know, she went to Britain to pursue that new life, maybe things work out for her maybe not. I wished her the best. It's been a while since Satuday and I still sort of think about this beautiful girl.

-Third Girl: We met in the crown of another concert. It was sort of a lovestruck, but with more passion than love. We started dancing together and moments later we kissed. We danced all night long, we let it all out and followed our instincs. After the concerts we started to move, thinking of where should we go on next. I had to stop for a while to get a drink at some bar. When I got back she and her friends were gone
After the concert was done we separated for a moment and I lost her in the crownd. I didn't lament that, just found it unlucky.

>>17399635
I'm probably a normie, or close to it. But I'm not exactly sure WTF a normie is.

>Considered, in theory, a nerd in high school, because I got good grades and didn't care about sports, I guess? But I had lots of friends, got girls, played in rock bands, hung out with my small town's small gang of cooler people--some geeks, but even more artsy types and deliberate weirdos, and a few preppy types.
>Mostly fairly happy in HS, at least on the surface
>Apart from a mild anime enthusiasm, which I keep pretty quiet, not noticeably geeky
>Enjoyed and did well in university; again, was fairly popular
>Traveled the world, worked, got married to a swell chick
>House, job, kids. Very normal, pretty successful life.

I've struggled with depression and addiction since I was about sixteen. I'm OK nowadays--my dark days are mostly behind me. But ostensibly positive, normal life events (buying a house, reproducing) threw me into crazy, angry funds. Also spent a lot of time HATING my (respectable, high-paying) job before I finally got laid off (another dark drunken angry crevasse into which I fell) and started my own thing, which began to make me happier.

>>17399863
*Funks, not funds .

>>17399635
Yes.
>22
>In university
>Got a job
>Slightly geeky, into D&D as well as vidya
>Not huge circles of friends, but I socialize
>Moderate drinker, smokes occasionally
>Two months ago my girlfriend of about 5 months broke up with me
>She said it had to happen because we're going very different places in life >and she's too focused on her career to really "treat me like I deserve to be treated"
>I can see the logic in her argument but I still really want to be with her
>She feels the same but we're still broken up
>Cue depression

>>17399678
>I know, you're thinking "at least you have a fucking GF" but really it's not all that. I think about breaking up all the time. You end up sacrificing so much of you're own personal NEET time as you might be more familiar with, and after awhile, it truly tears you apart.
this is so fucking true

Normies are often some of the most miserable people.

I think that those of us who were excluded from society during our formative years have one advantage: the fact that, lacking the means to attend social expectations (that is getting laid and partying) during our youth, we all found tools to compensate it in the format of a particular set of hobbies, different tastes, became part of unorthodox communities (even online ones like this), learned new skills to perfect, developed new goals, found new activities, etc.

And this is a fucking great thing. It's a series of mechanisms we developed so we could satisfy psychological needs without depending on others, since we had no one to depend of.

Now, if someone who was a normie during his or hers formative years suddenly finds him or herself in a post-college scenario without friends, dumped by their loved ones, stuck in some job or career path they don't like, dealing with depressing and social anxiety, not knowing where to go to meet people, not having any hobbies or distraction, having no goals outside of those imposed by society and so on, they will have nothing to fall back to. They weren't prepared for that, and can't prepare now that they're adults and don't have a lot of free time.

It's the old story about the chubby kid who gets fit and never gets out of shape again because he knows what being fat is like, while the naturally fit/good-looking kid lets himself go because he never had to work for his appearance. Except that instead of physical appearance it's about depression or anxiety or loneliness.

>>17399993
Not OP but this actually makes me feel a bit better. I was excluded as a kid and as a result don't have social skills, and have found it impossible to gain them as an adult. My brain just isn't primed for it. It makes me feel better that my suffering gave me an edge in some way. Complete self-reliance can be blissful.

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normies cultivate a mental world devoid of thoughts on the real problems of life like inevitable decay, death, loss of loved ones, etc. they don't even have the thinking capacity to reach the depths of depression that intelligent, sensitive, introverts often find themselves in.

like buddha... just think about buddhism for a minute or two, it's literally founded on the idea that all life, no matter how much apparent happiness, is suffering, due to the impermanence of everything in existence. in the early buddhist texts, there is a constant emphasis on seeing the inherent suffering in life rather than running away from it.

in modern times, all those normies are doped up on antidepressants, they think that depressive thoughts are cured by chemicals rather than cognitive realizations via thinking, so they prevent the possibility of thinking deeply by doping themselves into an artificially induced happiness or indifference.

my advice to op is don't take the bait of assuming you can attain a magical state of happiness in life. everything is impermanent, even the greatest blissful mood fades away.

also research buddhism. it's the truth.

>>17400093

>also research buddhism. it's the truth.
>giving up all passion
>truth

Yea, no. Might as well be dead at that point. It's funny how pseudo-intellectuals are into that shit.

The true summary of Buddism, the eightfold path, etc is basically "Give up all desire." It's basically a shittier version of stoicism.

I'm 25 years old. have a decent paying job (although I very much dislike it) and currently have $75,000 in my Savings account.

I'm not happy at all, infact I'm pretty fucking depressed.

>>17400107
I would argue that it's not really like stoicism, though I am far from educated on that topic.

Giving up desire does not mean giving up your passion, your joy, your happiness. On the contrary, it is the freeing realization that there is no attainment in life. Consequently, that means that living a happy, fulfilling life is not something you attain, but something you actively do and you are truly the only in making your own joy.

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Everyone can be miserable, lonely, sad, anxious and depressed.

What matters is what you do with the things you have, including the things I listed above.

ive been single for four years an im extremely happy. ive had no friends and no gf and no money and been happy.

on the flip side ive had all those things and been miserable.
>>17399702
>happiness starts from wtihin and works its way out.
This is pretty poignant stuff.

Normal, well-adjusted people are able to manage their problems without relying on mental crutches- the Secret King fantasy, where maladjusted people believe they're maladjusted because they're special, or hypochondria, trying to find an organic source for their personality deficiencies or at any rate something outside themselves that they can use to assign blame, when their deficiencies are often either no one's fault or are treasured rather than being overcome.

When you grow up a little more, OP, go through some more life events, you'll learn that happiness is transitory- it's the cookie you eat, the giant morning shit you take, the 6 second orgasm, whatever. You're probably conflating contentment with happiness, and contentment is a result of hard work, more often than not, and happiness is just random or transitory.

>>17400169

>Giving up desire does not mean giving up your passion, your joy, your happiness.

Passion and desire are synonymous. Happiness results from fulfillment of desire and basic physiological needs. So the statement you just made makes no sense. I am not saying this to be a dick (I am more interested in the topic than random shit talking online, at least atm).

>On the contrary, it is the freeing realization that there is no attainment in life.

Except there is attainment in life. Being hungry is painful. Being beaten is painful. Having to do shit you don't want is painful. At best, you can develop a "nothing matters" attitude, but again, at that point you might as well seppuku.

>Consequently, that means that living a happy, fulfilling life is not something you attain, but something you actively do and you are truly the only in making your own joy.

There is no "consequently" because of the above contradictions, at least no readily apparent one.

Try this, define:
>happy life
>fulfilling life

Furthermore, Buddhism is only interesting if you accept the mystic traditions, which it's actually based on, despite the West trying to make it not so because of the aforementioned pseudo-intellectualism.

Dear anon OP,

I'm that one friend that always need to make a joke of it when something happens
I have parties in my place everymonth and i like having people drunk in my home

i'm dead inside, but still horny
i have a well paying job, could do great things
but in the end, i spend all my night tomorowworkfree with my best friend, a crazy lesbian hotty drinking whisky and smoking weed

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>>17399635

I think I count as normie

>Good looking
>No autism at all, great social skills, deep and sexy voice
>Ok financially
>Have good friends to dick around with
>Got a good amount of girlfriends and a pretty nice amount of sex in my time

But yes, normies can be miserable too

>Have clinical depression that is crippling, but I hide it very well
>Crap childhood, parents well meaning but they made bad choices that led to me suffering
>tfwnogf because I can't find new people in my area since I left high school 2 years ago

Blogposting time?

>Be on okc every day for about a year and a half looking for someone
>Found about 8 solid people that fit my standards that I actually got to talk to
>Every single one of them pulled some bullshit on me, or just flat out disappeared.

The latest one is a real kicker

>Find girl on okc
>Kinda weird but cute
>Get to talk to her on skype
>Find out that while she's not there right now, she's gonna move to nyc which is like 5 miles away from me in a month
>Get along great
>Great sexual compatability
>She's a femanon
>She's got some autism but I couldn't care less
>Depression lifts a bit and I'm the happiest I've been for the past 4 years

And then the next day

>She tells me out of nowhere that she thinks it won't work because it's too long distance
>5 miles
>Can't talk her out of it, she goes full autism and says she wont change her mind
>5 fucking miles
>Now dealing with intense emotional slump

1 in a million boys, aaaand it's gone

>>17399635
>One thing that really gets me is people claiming to be "lonely", when they frequently talk to and hang out with others, or even have relationships. I just don't understand it.

I think you're talking about a certain type of person who uses depression as a sort of fashion statement.

Like those "loner"-types who aren't loners.

>>17399715
>I hide my emotions

That's another thing I've never understood, I simply cannot do that. I don't even try anymore.

When I was depressed I physically couldn't stand to be around people. It made me nervous and uncomfortable, so much so that I counldn't even hope to hide it. People naturally picked up on this and interpreted it as me being stuck up (or so I believe, maybe they just thought I was autistic) and that would piss them off. Even when I'd try to interact with someone the words would just come out wrong. My tone would sound mean or unenthusiastic, but how could it sound like anything else when I was forcing it so much?

Basically, I've always thought the whole "hiding my emotions" thing was a meme, I hear people mention different variations of it all the time.

The fact that you're asking this question is an indication of how detached from reality you really are, to be frank.

Answer's yes, though. Everyone has a secret tragedy. Most people are brilliant at hiding it. Some people are brilliant at hiding it, but not so brilliant at keeping it from eating them away inside.

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>>17400357

>Most people are brilliant at hiding it.
>

Who cares about what goes on in a normie brain, it's irrelevant.

>>17400172

>treasured rather than being overcome

that sums up the way i think so well, thank you man. gonna be copy pasting that anytime i see people using the crutch. i used to take paragraphs explaining it and never hit it on the head like you did right there.

disagree to a degree on the happiness bits. while i dont disagree with the things you listed happiness to be, i think its the fact that you can appreciate those moments that make you happy as opposed to content.

>>17400270
I think there are distinctions to be made here.

I have a good number of friends in real life and people to do stuff with. But there is no intimacy or mutual love in my life, only platonic friendships. When I go home at night I remember these desires and I feel lonely. I hug my pillow and pretend sometimes. I don't know what to call this if not loneliness. But it is compartmentalized.

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>>17399635
I'm not a normie by any means, but I have studied them for years.

They hide it, but not without knowing it (most of the time).
It's a constant hidden running from the truth in their subconscious, only sometimes becoming a conscious action.
Then they realize how shit they feel and explode, which causes a lot of bad things and said mentioned stories.

We're all trapped in this system of enslavement and loneliness, while you and I may see it for what it is, most only get a glimpse now and again, as for the rest of their time they do not even notice that they are who they are, that they're conscious and in their skin, in control of their own body.
You must understand that they flow in an unconscious mellow state, while we do not, and therefore when they get a breathe of air, out of the water, they scream and shake like a fish caught in a net, in a hell of their very own. This is why they break easier, complain more, and hide it more. This is why they're normal.

>>17400390

is it possible you ARE loved by the people in your life but like this guy said:
>>17399702

wherein once that attention you get from them is gone you are lonely in that moment, and it makes you think the previous moments were simply you 'pretending'

kind of retconning your own life?

>>17400401
Whatever love I have is the platonic sort. Which is good to have. But these aren't people I can cuddle up with in bed and whisper sweet nothings to. They're the people I hang out with.

>>17400434

interesting, but the fact that you feel supposed deep loneliness from this is rather unsettling. while i understand humans are actually cuddly creatures and like many animals would sleep in piles, you should be able to emotionally reason with yourself through this.

you are essentially falling in love with the idea of a relationship. you crave a non eixstent being, most any being, to simply curl up with and say 'sweet nothings' to. ironically, they are literally nothing.

>>17399635
I have a boyfriend, an okay friend group/amount of friends, enough money to be able to go out and have fun as well as paying for things I need like groceries, and a decent relationship with (most of) my family and I'm still miserable as fuck.
Anxious, depressed, lonely. Lately I've been breaking down and crying in front of my friends and it's awkward as fuck but most of the time I don't talk about it or just brush it off. Everyone's got their problems I guess, I thought having friends would fix mine but I was wrong (used to be a friendless NEET for like 5 years)

>>17400446

Not any being. Another human who I could love and be loved by, beyond platonic "hanging out". I've never had that, and I'm getting no younger. But I agree that I'm probably over-idealizing this concept. This isn't something that eats at me constantly, but it is there.

>>17400474

>not any being
>just ANY BEING i could love and be loved by

again, an imaginary person. you arent having anyone in mind. you want to eat for the sake of eating, not because you are hungry.

i dont think you are over idealizing the concept so much as THINKING OF IT AS A CONCEPT.

you date a girl because that girl makes you want to date her. the idea of dating the first person who says 'yes' is whats wrong iwth the dating field these days.

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>>17400446
Such a loneliness that routes it's self from having those, while not having it, are not due to wanting something that doesn't exist, or liking an idea.
They're due to the reality setting in when you get home, are alone, or whatever else it may be.
When the cracks begin to part and you see the truth of the situation. You only have acquaintances or people who pat you on the back as you do them, but no one who truly cares and considers you as united against all odds.

I've had such a feeling. It was more of for a daughter than a wife, or girlfriend, as I didn't much care for such activities they'd likely enjoy. I wanted someone to cuddle with, someone to do silly things with, someone to hang out with, someone to teach, someone to inspire, someone to just fucking live in the moment for the simplicity of things, to not always have their phone in their face and their reality based off money and often sex/drugs.
This longing lasted for years. Fucking killed me, and it started back when I was only thirteen or so. Tormented me, honestly, especially when I was told over and over it was wrong and pedophilia to want something of the such, despite not caring to do any sexual things with the daughter-figure.

I didn't have many acquaintances or lads in real life during this time, but this feeling still sunk in only when I was alone or inactive, not busy, etc, until years of it bothering me and tormenting me.
But it was fixed. How? Well, I didn't have a daughter, didn't adopt, didn't kidnap some poor lad, and didn't get a wife. My cousin got pregnant a second time, this time near me, and I helped them out a lot. Unlike with her first child I was around when the baby was a baby, and grew into a toddler, and thus we really bonded.
I didn't get what I wanted. Not even what I desired completely.

Cont.

>>17400502
I only see the kid once in awhile, usually all day when I do though, on average once a week probably. She's only three now, but we do toddler-things, and while this may all seem stupid it's been the best fucking thing to happen to me in my entire life.

My point is that there is no escaping this longing, but there is a satisfying it. I don't know the key to this guy's situation, but as long as he gets somewhat of what he wanted it'll blow him out of the water.

No matter the conditoning, escapism, the denial, or whatever it may be, if something bothers you consistently and often there is no running from it or changing it. Find a solution >>17400434, >>17400474, it's the only way out.

Even with a shit life, no money, and a horrible past, lack of lads, etc, I still manage to be content and happy now. Make it happen.

>>17400485

>the idea of dating the first person who says 'yes' is whats wrong iwth the dating field these days

And that's definitely what I don't want to do.

There's nobody around me I even want to date. I don't try to win the affection of anything with a vagina for the sake of doing so and nothing further.

>>17399635
Most normies are miserable, they're just - and I say this without any perceived edginess or snarkyness - too dumb to realize it

they're just the prime market for most of what capitalism trips over itself to pile up and sell to people - and the thing is, the more you know, the easier it is to identify; it can be based on region, I live on an island in the US, the 'boater' archetype is something a lot of older folk consume their time maintaining, meanwhile, there's a decent amount of leather-clad biker bar types, and they have their lifestyle to maintain, the point I'm getting at is whether it's older folks with a hobby or younger club-going kids, they're simple people. You take what they think defines them away and they'll be forced to deal with the things in life that make them uncomfortable, they just don't know it yet.

I know, it is a bit pretentious, but it's true - the stereotype is ignorance is bliss, but ignorance isn't really permanent unless you're actually full retard - ignorance is really about perspective, take a guy who's a blue collar worker, an electrician, the usual argument we see used in media is "I was young, I had dreams!" and even simpler folk talk that way.

Happiness can be derived from a lot of strange places, unexpectedly. But the thing that drives it is a certain level of understanding of the world or at least your local environment and your place in it. That's why normies are, I would argue, the least happy people alive, but who aren't even slightly introspective enough to realize it, or realize it to the extent they are.

>>17400485
You don't need a specific person in mind to know what you're looking for or need in your life.
If he was given a shitty girlfriend who was rude and a druggie (assuming he is not) he'd feel the cuddles to be ungenuine and her to be like the rest.

He wants someone who really loves him and he can count on. I'd take my petty rifle and happily die protecting the one I care for, as for what is tomorrow in death is the unknown, but what is tomorrow in life without her is known to be pain.
I didn't know who would satisfy my longings, nor who she would be, how she would look, or what she would specifically uniquely like. But I knew the type of person I needed, and what they'd likely fulfill in my life, and a bit of an idea of what would fit the role.

I'm sure he has a more specific idea than a cuddle-box for night-time, but what he feels is pain every time there is no cuddle-box, but not when he's escaping online to avoid said feelings, consciously or not.

>>17400522
I know the solution. Choosing to not take myself or my life so seriously and just live. This has eliminated most anxieties I've ever had and thereby allowed me to accomplish a lot.

But I'm occasionally bothered when I let myself get sentimental. Sometimes I can't help it. So much for me.

>>17399635
>Can normalfags be miserable?
One of the things to understand about depression is that when you've got it, you don't need a reason to be miserable. It will just happen, reason or no; indeed, having no reason is what MAKES it depression. And when you don't need a reason, literally anyone could become depressed.

>>17399678
You sound like you have my dilemma except add two kids, a mortgage, and a highly stressful job with a great income that my family has now become dependent on.

When I was younger I had time and energy - only constrained by a lack of funds/resources. As I've grown older more has become possible financially, but I am restricted instead by responsibility, practicality, and societal norms. What a con.

>>17399635
normies suffer the same problems but to higher expectations. like if they see a pimple and theyre like god tier pretty then theyll feel super ugly.

>>17400565
That's not a solution though.
I'd put it under the same area as playing games and browsing the chans. It's primarily to escape because you have nothing else to do and need to be highly engaged to not think about things that are lacking in your life.

That's only a solution in every day life, not when you go to bed at night or the power shuts off.
Not taking things so seriously and just living won't take your problem away or cure it, only hide it in the shadows and let it fester till it really torments you.