How do you get over the feeling of longing? I'm a 21 year

>>17393832
Dead Kennedys kick ass.

Asperger here. Romantic relationships are awful sometimes, and I've learned that the best thing about being in a relationship is sharing myself with another person and helping, not what my partner does for me (though that's rad too).

You must learn to love yourself, and enjoy your own company. I'm sure you're alright. Do you have hobbies?

>>17393849
I garden. I go crabbing. I collect cigars.

I once got close to having a relationship but she had to move, and it was the best feeling i've had in the world and I remember it like it was yesterday. I was 17.

I don't really enjoy myself. I don't think much of myself, and honestly, I don't like myself. I'm trying to make myself into a better person and whatnot. I've never loved myself, even as a child. It's just an alien concept to me.

These thoughts are getting excessive however. I just want someone I can love and blow time away with.

>>17393832
>8 rejections
>8
Only 8?

>>17393882
I don't generally get to know many people. I don't ask out random girls. I like to have chemistry build between me and another person before I ask them out. And no, I'm not getting friend zone, but I just don't feel comfortable knowing nothing about a person and asking them on a date.

>>17393867
I dunno man. Crabbing sounds sweet. Catch some and cook those tasty bastards up. Gardening is great too. You are creating and learning important skills. Do you cook?

As for self-love...that's not an easy fix. Just know you've got a very long time to figure it out. Don't give up hope.

And girlfriends? Make yourself worth dating. Build those skills, and try to handle your personal hygiene.

>>17393891
My hygiene is adequate. I shower, I trim, I brush, I exfoliate, I lotion, I even face mask on occasion. I try to keep a crisp appearance. Of course, it does little when you're a homely man. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

I'm trying make myself more valuable for a woman to invest her time in, but I'm not worth much. I don't drive, I work part time, and everyone I've been friends with say that I initially came off as "kind/empathetic but 'off' or empty", and claimed it was intimidating for them. It's saddening to hear that as I try to be a more simple, kind guy.

I feel your self love thing may be bollocks though. It's something that I've never really experienced and I don't think it's been a large factor in my life.

Bump for serious answers pls

>>17393832
>>17393867
>>17393888
>>17393905

All I can really say is just keep on being you, man. Maybe try and put yourself out there a bit more, but from what I've read- you sound like a genuinely interesting person. Surround yourself with friends that appreciate you for who you are and what you do- that will help a lot with coming to terms with yourself and loving yourself.

It may not be tomorrow or next week or next month, but you're doing everything right so far and eventually you will meet someone who loves you for who you are and will want to be with you as badly as you want to be with them. The tricky part is learning to cope with shit in the meantime. I understand that feeling of longing and the desire to have someone to be good to- it always kind of aches in the back of your mind and soul, but that's just what it is to be human.

Just put yourself out there a bit more, expand your social circle when you feel comfortable. You'll make it, OP. I got faith in you.

>>17393956
I really don't have friends, except for one lady that did reject me. Took me a while to come back to being friends, but we're doing well now. I made a big move and not many people at work are either around my age or speak English.

In giving myself until this gets too annoying to be passive about it. If it gets any worse I'll surely go mad with these feelings and desperation and that will turn out quite badly.

>>17393961
But, again, the question is about emotional suppression. How do?

>>17393961
Have you considered therapy? I'm not saying there's anything wrong with you- but just having someone impartial to talk to about this sort of thing can help a lot, and they can also give you advice and help point you in the directions you want to go.

Try Meetup.com for making friends, as well. There are tons of groups all over the place for everyone's interest, and some even have specific age groups.

OP I'm a fucking scum bag so my advice might not be worth much but I've had decent success with women in my time. The one thing I've come to accept is that love is a fleeting thing. It's a good feeling but in modern times it rarely lasts, an unfortunate truth. Humans are not meant to be in long term relationships anyways so I wouldn't fret too much if I were you. Virginity means very little by today's standards but still I wouldn't admit that to any women you try to date. But it seems like you're putting an unrealistic amount of stress on yourself and that isn't going to help your case.

You said you picked up some hobbies so maybe you could try working out, everyone has different interests but this is always my go to advice for depression. I won't get too in depth but it does release feel good chemicals into your body which is quite nice. I always bring it up because it legitimately helped me when I was in a bad place.

You seem like a rational decent guy, don't sweat the women because in time they will come and go. You need to focus on yourself first then everything will fall into place. Just remember never to make the assumption that women or sex have any bearing on your self worth, that's up for you to decide yeh.

>>17393973
I think that my success with women is tied to my worth, from a more Darwinist look at things. It increases my value, as would working a good job or living on my own would.

I don't care as much about that though as I do about the feeling of actually having someone interested in you. I felt it only once and it was really good. I've come to accept I won't be too successful with women, but I'd at least like an experience soon. My head buzzed softly when I was around her and her voice calmed me down quite easily.

I work out on occasion, it's okay but nothing special. I don't particularly enjoy it. I'm not a fatty either.

You may say love is a fleeting thing, but something that is fleeting is better than nothing.

>>17393972
Therapists are stupid and gay. They're the people that put an autistic kid on an SSRI for years and called it a day.

I know it may sound odd, but I'd like to more organically meet people. Meetup.com doesn't appeal to me the same way internet dating doesn't.