What are some signs you're in an abusive relationship/being

There are a lot of different signs.

Do you think you might be in an abusive relationship?

https://www.google.com/search?q=signs+you're+in+an+abusive+relationship&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&gws_rd=cr&ei=A1eSV_zgIMKYjwTUmqyYDg

>>17382205
I don't think so, I'm just curious what the obvious signs are.

Physical abuse is obvious. If they hit you intentionally guess what you're probably being physically abused.

Emotional/verbal abuse is a bit tricky. For obvious signs probably the following:

>they constantly bring up/make fun of/joke about your shortcomings.
>try to guilt you into doing things you don't want to do, usually sex.
>they tell you that you're overly sensitive or get upset too easily. Over nine times out of ten the person who says this is just a toxic abusive asshole who never got his ass beat for being a disrespectful little prick.
>they try to make your opinions seem invalid or stupid to have.
>gaslighting. Google it.

From the top of my head:

>your partner always blames you for stuff going wrong, including things they did ("you just made me so angry that-")
>when you go to have a serious talk, you usually end up with an entirely different story of events than the way you experienced it when it happened
>your partner seems overly critical of your hobbies, friends and family, especially if they have vague reasons ("I just don't think they're a good influence" without being able to name concrete examples you could argue)
>your partner uses things (like psychological issues, earlier fuck ups) as leverage in fights
>any form of blackmail and powerplay ("I won't fuck you unless-" "if you want me to go to your family then you'll have to-")
>partner is not upen to taking your perception of the relationship seriously: criticism you have is dismissed as you being oversensitive, being biased, having unrealistic expectations
>you find yourself trying to explain to friends and family that your partner is much more pleasant when it's just the two of you
>your partner makes you feel bad about yourself more often than they make you feel good about yourself (negging or other forms of backhanded compliments and/or constant criticism)
>your partner tries to make you more dependent in the relationship by restricting your power over money, how you raise the kids, where you live, who you see
>partner is overly critical about your weight, how you dress, how you look etc, or uses the excuse that you will be tempted to cheat to talk you out of doing normal things (like getting a job)
>invalidating your feelings with a trump card: partner will leave you, change their entire personality, kill themselves, as soon as you bring up an issue, to force you to back down - similarly, whenever you want to express sadness, it ends with you consoling them instead
>physical threats, intimidating behavior (throwing things towards but not at you, breaking things around you, screaming in your face)
>physical abuse

>>17382239
>not respecting boundaries (this can be sexual boundaries, but even something like not knowing when to stop with a mean joke or quit tickling you is a red flag)
>implying or outright telling you that you couldn't do better, you're lucky you have your partner, no one else would want a [whatever] like you

Also it is usually a pattern that is alternated with sweet (and, sometimes, apologetic) behavior. It also starts out subtly (your partner is amazing when you're together, but gets disproportionately moody and guily tripping if you want to visit friends or have some alone time) and escalates over time as you become more vulnerable.

One or two of these bullets don't constitute an abusive relationship, it's not about a specific behavior having occurred ever, it's about the overall pattern of behavior they show towards you and how much they value your feelings and respect the person you are.

>>17382226
Not OP but how do I know if I am actually too sensitive? My partner tells me this a lot, even when commenting on the stuff I get bothered about outside of our relationship.

>>17382253
Not the poster of that comment but your partner should take your feelings seriously. Feelings are always subjective and relationships largely revolve around feelings - saying that other people wouldn't be bothered by it is like telling your partner that other people like a sex act that they don't. Irrelevant and useless.

Having said that, of course it could be that you need to grow thicker skin for your own sake and compared to others. The way to break that news would be from a loving place: "I care about you and realize that this is just the way you experience things, but you are upset so often about things that others shrug off, I think it would benefit you to learn to put things in perspective a bit more and not let it get to you." That would be a normal wake up call for an oversensitive partner.

Alternatively, it is normal to after or during listening and supporting, also tell someone that you think they are overreacting a bit. Eg: "yeah, I understand that it was not a nice joke, but I feel like you're reacting like they meant a lot more with it than they did and that's not worth it". Whatever.
Obviously relationships aren't perfect and it won't always be worded as delicately as this. An insensitive dismissal is normal -occasionally-.

However I take it that you understand the difference between stuff like the above, and even a more irritated everyday variant, and knee jerk reflex telling you that you're being oversensitive as soon as you try to communicate your feelings. Especially when other people agree that your response was normal, or they won't even hear you out and just throw that at you to make you shut up.

>>17382253
Well, what do you feel bothered by?

Regardless, saying you are "too sensitive" is not a good response to you telling him your feelings. It might be 100% true - you might be misinterpreting the situation. But people's feelings are valid, regardless. He should be able to understand why you feel that way, explain why he did what he did, what it means in relation to you and why you shouldn't be bothered by it. In turn, you should be able to understand why he did it, evaluate your feelings of the situation, and possibly make a change to your feelings.

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12KB, 300x157px

>>17382198
I don't know but I really want to fuck that bunny