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What does adv think about polyamory? Would you consider it for

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What does adv think about polyamory? Would you consider it for the one you love?
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Degenerate and a terrible idea on a practical level as well.
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Nothing inherently "wrong" with it, arguably. But it invites soooooooooo much trouble and usually is indicative of some incompatibility or flaw in a monogamous relationship that is patched with another person. so much denial in that community too, just stay away
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full of aids and ugly people
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I would talk to my love about why she would want more than just me in her life. I would be incredibly sad and depressed. I'd still love her, because I love her more than anything, but it would really destroy me. That's just the truth.
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>>17381227
I would consider him/her fucked in the head and move on
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>>17381247
I knew a polyarmorus guy once. His gf was ugly, but he himself was pretty hot
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learned the hard way I am not wired to handle it. I know some people are into it and there's nothing wrong with that, it's just not for me. A little annoying how poly people can act like they're superior rational beings or whatever but in any case, emotional irrational me can't deal with a poly situation.
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>>17381227

Full of insecure, desperate people that lie and think their geniuses for "beating the norms of society". Most people that do it have one of the following mentalities:

>xD I love sex, fuk emotions
>I am a playr l0l, i am so cool n sik
>I can love everyone xD
>I am a boss lel, i stik my dik in more than 1 pussy hehe
>I love diks xD, i am an emporwerd w0men heha
>>
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Logical? Absolutely.
Realistic? Not really.
You need to factor in a lot of things. One being: The possibility of having many offspring with multiple people (saying you're a man).
Or if you're a woman, you might get pregnant by someone who's not your partner. Just think of all the implications that may cause for all parties.
That really only applies if you're hetero. However, regardless of your sexuality STD's might be an issue.
But overall, humans are jealous by nature, so regardless of each of your views on monogamy, problems will arise eventually.
The construct of a two party relationship doesn't need more than two parties. Two parties and two parties only is ridiculous enough, but far more manageable and acceptable in today's culture than polyamory.
I'm not even sure if you can call dub a poly-amorous couple as being in a "relationship" in the traditional sense, as it doesn't follow the code of faithfulness. But not that matters.

But no I wouldn't consider it for myself or the one I would love, mostly because the chances of finding someone who would agree to that type of relationship and stick to it is slim to none. Plus I think I prefer monogamy, probably because the construct of it is comforting to me and it's been drilled into me my whole life. Lol i said drilled into me.
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>>17381227
One of the biggest meme words of the current year
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>>17381227
>What does adv think about polyamory?
Mostly a bunch of people lying to themselves about what they feel.

>Would you consider it for the one you love?
Had to once. Didn't last three days.
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>>17381227
Lol


Okay OP, let me break it down to you.

Not one single person on this small Earth has the capacity to "love" one person while getting fucked by other people, not unless they are void of all emotion, in which case they don't actually "love" you.

Sex is literally not what is the most important thing here. Polyamory is straight up selfishness and cuckholdry. If you "love" someone then you want to be with that person, and that person only.

"Love" is a ridiculous concept people mistake for lust, or infatuation, or simple attraction. The truth is that "love" doesn't exist. It is a tonic full of chemicals that confuses your brain into thinking that this person is "the one." Love doesn't exist, it is a satire and it is the only reason why people say they can "love" someone and be in a poly relationship.
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Relationships are troublesome as they are with two people in them, let alone if more get involved.
Do you want to deal with two women being bitchy or on their PMS? Or simply hating each other for w/e reason?
Same goes for girls. Do you want to deal with two guys being moody or whatever men do to bother women? Or them simply hating each other?

What happens if one person invariably gets upset at the other? Will the third person take a side? Whose? Why? What happens to the relationship then?

Unless you mean open relationship, but that's just an excuse to "I want this person but I also want to fuck other people.". Which in itself is fine, I guess, if both people are happy with it.
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>>17381227
i just broke up with my girlfriend of four years (partially) on the basis of her polyamory. it wasn't an easy decision but i stand by it.
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>think about polyamory
It's fine, but it's not for me.

>consider it
Never.
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It can be done. But, recognize that 1) most people are pretty stupid, intellectually and emotionally, polyamorous or not and 2) a successful, healthy relationship requires a lot of thoughtfulness and (most importantly) empathy, and a polyamorous relationship even more so.

Consequently, yes, most poly people/relationships are totally fucked. I don't blame this on the structure itself, but rather people who can't handle the structure. It's up to you to determine if you and your s/o can handle it. Also be prepared to deal with a lot of this bullshit: >>17381899
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I lost a large part of my social circle due to polyamory.
It brings so much drama with it that even the people near it will be affected by it.

If my partner would ever suggest this to my, I'd break it off immediately.
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>>17381227
Total degeneracy.
People fooling themselves, thinking they're 'unique' and 'open minded' and that they have 'too much love for a single person'.
Polyamorous people are nothing but selfish, greedy and non-commital people who try to water down the meaning of love and relationships with their lax carelesness.
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>Would you consider it for the one you love?
I have no choice. My number one gal is 5000 miles away.

Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, but it's tough as fuck to grow beyond the stage most anons are at, which is the whole confusion about love in the starvation model and scarcity princleple.
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>>17381382
>xD
makes it so much better
hehe xd
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It's generally a bad idea and most -- I won't say all, but most -- people who are into it are immature.

As are 100% of the people who identify AS "poly", as though it were a sexual orientation like being gay or straight. It is not.
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>>17381227
No problems, it is a choice but i never consider it for someone i love, it's 2 clashing choices that can never be together.
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That's an interesting question.

To start off with; Would I consider it for the one I love?

The answer to that is: No.

I am stupid. I am really, really stupid. It takes me a long time to really connect with people on a personal level because of this. Have I liked multiple people at the same time? Sure. The thing is, despite liking these people, I feel no inclination to engage in a physical relationship with them. When I'm with somebody, I dedicate a lot of my time towards that person. To get to know them, to understand them, to listen to them, to be empathetic of them, and thinking of things to do for them. This alone takes up a ton of time, and for one person at that! So I can't even imagine having to think, learn, listen, and be empathetic for 2 people, or even 3. It would take my entire day just to adequately listen, empathize, and provide adequate feedback and satisfy the desires of 2-3 partners. That's not even factoring in my own needs or desires.

I don't know, to me, it seems like a lot of needless micro-management.

So for me, it's monogamous relationships.

In my observations though, most people in polyamorous relationships don't manage them as I do. It's almost more of a casual thing. I'm not saying that to belittle those that partake in those types of relationships, but it seems that most action and thought spurred is spontaneous rather than crafted.

As I'd stated earlier though, I am really stupid. I'm not going to say I fully grasp the concept of polyamory. All I can say is that for me, and I'd assume a lot of others, it's difficult to manage multiple close intimate relationships.

For that reason, I don't think I could do it.

That, and my blaring trust issues, or rather complete lack of faith.

Even if it was like the one, my absolute soul mate, I don't think I'd do it. Too lazy for that.
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>>17382426
Oh, and I wouldn't want to pretend to like my partner's partners. It would probably create a bunch of tension.
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Intelligent couples can and manage it. Intelligent as in higher IQ and emotional intelligence.
So it's not for everyone. The average person cannot handle a polyamorous relationship or even fathom what polyamory entails because the average person cannot rise above their own egocentricity. As you get smarter or more rational, it is possible, but then smarter people are more apt to being predisposed with other goals. A relationship with 2 or more people might take too much time or focus.
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Sex oriented polygamy is degenerate and obviously not a smart way to live your life.
But polamory should be fine right? It seems ideal to live in a society where everyone loves as many people as they can.
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>>17382707
Oh, come off it, a preference for monogamy is not "egocentricity," and higher intelligence (of any sort) doesn't correlate with a lack of sexual jealousy at all. And unless English is your second language, the way you write really undercuts your grandstanding about intelligence.
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>>17382730
If emotional intelligence comes with regular intelligence (why wouldn't it?), then a more intelligent person would be more likely to have enough emotional intelligence to fight off jealousy.
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>>17381227
lol
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>>17382742
Your mistake -- and let's be clear, it is a mistake -- is in assuming that jealousy is something that you always need to "fight off" or overcome, rather than a nearly-universal emotion that does no harm in moderation. It's not immature at all to accept your nature and pursue relationships accordingly, rather than constantly trying to subordinate your instincts to a relationship structure that doesn't come naturally to you.

Really, people who do well in poly relationships tend to be those who, for whatever reason, just aren't very jealous, by their natures. People like that do exist, but they're rare. It's not a case of people being oh so smart and mature that they "overcome" their baser instincts the way you're claiming.
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I'm of the opinion that it's not a special feat or orientation to be "polyamorous" and I understand why people think it is degenerate.
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>>17382707

To be honest, all the poly couples I've seen are bottom of the barrel when it comes to education and succes(jobs, mile stones, ect)

Also most intelligent people I've met have a hard time maintaining their relationship due to the fact that they spend more of their time on matters they deem more worthy of persuit.(careers, achiefments, studys, ect)
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>>17381247
>>17381243
>>17381235
I love seeing logic on the Internet, it's refreshing
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Nothing wrong with it, you just have to fully prepare for it, you have to have a healthy, complete monogamous relationship first with nothing to hold you back when adding another.
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>>17381382
kek
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>>17382707
>IQ
>indicative of intelligence

hey there smartypants

confirmed 131 IQ guy here, I'll have you know that I'm a fucking idiot
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>What does adv think about polyamory?
Dumb, but one of the founding principles of this country is the right to do dumb things.

>Would you consider it for the one you love?
lolno

>>17382742
>If emotional intelligence comes with regular intelligence (why wouldn't it?)
Tesla was an emotional cripple and a lunatic, where the fuck do you people get these ideas?
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>>17381227
>What does adv think about polyamory?
I don't, in theory, have anything against it. Seems like a theoretically viable lifestyle, although I don't think I've ever met a poly person who wasn't in some interpersonal, emotional, or other distress. Seems like a really, really, high-drama way to live. Also, all the poly people I've ever met have been seriously nerdy, which is not a personal turn-on.
>Would you consider it for the one you love?
I couldn't. My now-wife and I went through a long-distance phase for a while, during which we officially saw other people, and I couldn't handle it.
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>>17383335
Was your wife ok with it?

Im glad you were both able to work through it tho, and congrats on your marriage.
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This reminds me of a story my dad told me about some german neighbours he had when he was young, who had fled the war.

The wife in the house had thought her husband was dead, so she married a new guy.

Then one day, it turned out her husband, who had been a soldier, was still alive. So he came back, and moved im with them, and they lived there all three with the kids for the rest of their lives.

This woman was legaly married to both guys. She had never divorced the first guy, but asumed he was dead.

It's one of these stories that give you some kind of hope in humanity.
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>>17381227
You'll essentially never find intelligent, educated and genuine decent human beings who would entertain it.
Most of the people who think such things are a good idea, or who will put up with it, are the bottom dregs of society.
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>>17381227
>would you consider it for her
not even once
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>>17383354
>Was your wife ok with it?
Not really. She was lonely. So she slept with a dude for a while. She told me. I lost my shit, we nearly broke up. She was very unhappy. I slept with someone else, not quite out of revenge but nearly; she was disgusted and lost HER shit. I was very unhappy.

We decided that we wanted one another more than other people. So we quit screwing around, moved in together, and got married a few years later. We've been monogamous for more than a decade now.
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>>17383695
This gives me hope. Thank you for sharing. I hope everything works for you guys
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I don't have a problem with people practicing polyamory, but I don't think it works out in practice. Some people (Mormons) might be able to pull it off, though.
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>>17383758
I can see it workinh for mormons for different reasons tho.

Like for most people, it is for sex. Its just to fuck other people and not feel guilty. (Which is degenerate by the way)

For fundamentalist mormons there is a cultural/spiritual reason for it, besides sex.
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>>17381975
Retard
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>>17381227
>What does adv think about polyamory? Would you consider it for the one you love?
I did. Lost my virginity in a three way with the woman I loved and some girl I didn't actually know. It's like I'm the king of Chads but it's the last thing I ever wanted. Coming home to see her going to town on someone else when you just want to sit with her and talk and watch TV and laugh together is absolutely heart wrenching. I thought I could handle it but I was stupid.

If all you want is sex then it's probably perfect. If you want love it's not, at least for someone like me.
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>>17383970
Im sorry anon. That is my worst nightmare. I will never consider an open relationship or a poly relationship or any other bs.

If im not good enough for you, so be it. Leave me. Dont leech off me emotionally.
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>>17381975
hurrr
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>>17381899
Woman and or robot detected. Love and sex are separate with normal males. VERY separate. The marriage monogamy stuff happened because of the 20 80 ratio. So it reks shit for obvious reasons, but it's possible course , especially because of our current laws.

>Cuck
That's part of the competitive instinct to get a woman that led to marriage, for the numbers being uneven. The law no longer caters to your kind, wait your turn 80-male/20-female.
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If we are talking actual, open relationships, then fuck no.

I'd be open to simple swinging though. I firmly believe there's a degree of separation between the emotional and sexual level of a relationship. You don't want to replace the bond you have with your partner or devalue it by entering an actual relationship with someone else, but you DO want to get your rocks off with a different body and maybe a different fetish, which is purely instinctual and doesn't make you love your partner any less.
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>>17384305
>Swinging
>Two whores/sluts that are playing house (and are friends)
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>>17382055
are u letting other guys fuck ur cyber Gf ROFL
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>>17383367
>It's one of these stories that give you some kind of hope in humanity.
You are fucked in the head.
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>>17384233
you don't know how to formulate a coherent argument and im fairly sure you have 0 clue about what the fuck you're saying
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>>17384333
>Didn't understand what was said
>Psychotically projecting this hard
Tho I should add that not everyone in a poly relationship needs to know who likes sex more to avoid jealousy. Not that it matters, seeing as how most wouldn't starve nor spend all of their money on first class food just because they had it once, to get a point across.

Just imagine:
>Grill:
I have a bf understands my philosophy and taste, another that's rich with big dick and looks that can throw down, and a kinky loyal bf.
>Boi:
I have a chick that is kinky and yandere, a psychologist gf, and a gamer girl .


The point is pros and cons. People love to assume that one person would easier to complete you. Is that foolish?
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>>17384363
*Psychologically obviously
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Disgusting idea, I'd never do it for anybody, I'd consider leaving a girl for suggesting it.

Sex isn't just baseline stimulation and shouldn't be treated as such. It's the ultimate expression of love and fucking other people shows a disrespect of the person you love, your relationship and the concept of love itself. Sure, everyone wishes they coulf fuck a different kind of girl every now and then, but you'll get over it, and making your pee pee feel good isn't worth forgoing the sanctity of your relationship in the long run. Being in a relationship is more than just being fuckbuddies, but it's also more than just being friends, when you have a polyamorous relationship, that's what you reduce it to.
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>>17384439
>daddy cheated on mommy and now I have a complex.
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Would dump my girlfriend if she asked me if we could be polyamorous. No questions asked.
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>>17381227
I would absolutely not. I would rather be single than in a polyamorous relationship. Thankfully that poly stuff is not really a thing in my country yet.
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>>17384471
No, actually. If you were smarter you wouldn't make these wrong assumptions that make you look like an idiot, but I suppose I shouldn't expect anything less from a tripfag.
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>>17384439
>Sex isn't just baseline stimulation and shouldn't be treated as such. It's the ultimate expression of love and fucking other people shows a disrespect of the person you love, your relationship and the concept of love itself.

amen bro.
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>>17384439
This.
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>>17381227
if your gf/bf asks about polyamory, it means that they're not satisfied with you
it's a terrible idea.
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