tl;dr Didn't tell girlfriend I have lots of money, had an

ditch her

>>leads to massive argument where she says it proves i don't love the person

massive red flag

You did the right thing. If she was in it for love she wouldn't care.

tell her most women are like whores and once they get your money they could give a fuck about you.

Dry your tears with Benjamins

>>17376899
>>17376893
>>17376888
She didn't know he had money, edgelords, it's just something that seems rude. OP was probably spilling spaghetti all over the floor when he was telling her.

>>17376888
This

Holy shit, OP, this

Do not marry this girl. A prenup is a totally reasonable demand. I'm a girl before someone accuses me of being MGTOW

>>17376881
Honestly, I get why she is feeling frustrated.
I understand your concerns and I get how unfair the treatment for men in divorce is, but when you're about to marry someone you don't want to think that he is preparing for divorce and he is assuming you're a whore who will steal his money.
I would personally never marry someone who wanted a prenup.

>>17376907
we were having a civil discussion, i offhandly said that if i were to get married i'd want a pre-nup as i can't predict the future. She got angry and said that i was planning for the marriage to fail and that i didn't love the person

there was no spaghetti or childishness on either side

>>17376909
You can still be a MGTOW if you're a female, you sexist.

>>17376911
>I'm too insecure to consider that my marriage could fail and anyone who is smart enough to think that far ahead is out of my league
I agree

>>17376911
>>17376907


>man prepares his anus in case of devastation
>bad

one of my buddies killed himself cause the bitch not only got his money, his house but was going to get the kids too

dry those crocodile tears, for my buddy got NONE from the court system despite her being a former coke addict

>>17376924
Entering a marriage and already planning how to get out of it safely is not something that makes me feel like he has a high opinion of the institution of marriage, of women, and of me.
I'd like to marry someone who thinks I am a good person, not someone who would steal everything he has and all he worked for.
I'd rather stay together with him without marrying, if he was so concerned about this.

>>17376881
OP, bear in mind if you marry somebody you are going to have to commit to -the rest of your life with that person- unless it fails.

If she's gonna freak the fuck out and leave just because you don't have a rose tinted perfect view of life and marriage she's not mature enough to get married to anyway.

It's probably good this happened OP, because this is a fucking huge as fuck red flag right before a fucking major life decision which could have left you with nothing.

>>17376881

Imagine you were dating a girl who you presumably were in love with. 6 years into the relationship you are under the firm assumption that you know and love everything about this person. You are partners in life and have no secrets. You propose to said girl.

Then she proceeds to tell you that not only does she have this whole aspect to her life that she's hidden from you for 6 years but that she also doesn't trust you with it.

I'm not saying preserving your money isn't a legitimate concern. All I'm saying is you hid something from the woman you're supposed to marry for 6 years and then told her you want to make sure that if your marriage ends she gets nothing.

This may make sense from a financial standpoint but if you can't understand even a little why this might piss her off you're a fucking dullard.

Talk to her about this but honestly, man, if you're as rich as you say you are and in love as you think you are I think gambling a summer house and a few cars on love isn't a ridiculous idea. People with a lot less risk a lot more for the one they love.

Think about it.

>>17376888
>>17376907
>>17376909
I can see the value of prenups, but let me just play devil's advocate.

Isn't getting a prenup betting on the marriage to fail?

>>17376934
>a summer house and a few cars

That's not how the justice system works motard. Between the divorce costs, lawyers and alimony a guy can and WILL lose everything

it isn't 50/50

>>17376935
Is buying home insurance betting on your house burning down?

Shit happens. Cover your ass.

>>17376881
>be well groomed homosex
>middle class
>moderate wealth
>midlife crisis gold digging roastie's everywhere
>homosex so no boner
>offended fugly is offended
>get called homosex
>tfw im just a well groomed middle class homosex who could easily pass off as above "wealthy"
>ralph lauren, tommy hilfiger never again

>>17376935
when the odds are HEAVILY stacked in favour of one side of a relationship getting EVERYTHING, the kids, the money, the house, the dog id say its reasonable to protect yourself if you are the side that would get hit the hardest in the shit deal

>>17376932

lets look at this in a series of "what ifs"

>what if the marriage lasts and op and his wife grow old and die together

prenup is ignored, trashed and discarded

>what if ops girl decides one day she needs a WILD PHASE and discards the marriage like its nothing to her

man keeps his money, women keeps hers, prenup guarantees this

>women and man both decide amicallably to end the marriage, it isnt working out for either of them but they dont hate each other.

Prenup is ignored, both sides take what they want/agree upon and go their seperate ways

>>17376947

Oh, I'm sorry. Where did you get your law degree? How long have you been a practicing divorce attorney?

>>17376948

Yes, comparing your wife, the presumed love of your life and mother of your children to an inanimate asset. You must do great with the ladies.

>>17376962
>ima dig this hole im in deeper, that oughta get me out of it sooner

http://www.divorcecorp.com/

>>17376968

>imma send you this link to a documentary with an obvious bias and ideological agenda to cover the fact that i indeed have absolutely no knowledge whatsoever about divorce law

>>17376967
Well, I'm not a lesbian, so yeah. I guess I am

I would have no problem with signing a prenup with my bf. Shit happens. 50-60 years is a long time.

>>17376971
REEEEEEEE! I DONT LIKE STATISTICS! THEY ARE MISOGYNISTIC!

>>17376967
>denying a possibility because you don't like it is a good thing

>>17376971
Not the other anon, but divorce is more about contracts. If you don't have a marriage contract, you have to adhere to state laws in regards to property distribution. Women, as home makers, generally get the house if they have kids, and she would also get transportation, as well as alimony and child support.

The reason prenups are important is because you are able to clearly handle matters upfront in the event there is a dissolution of the marriage, and removes lengthy disputes from the equation. Not to mention treats both parties more fairly.

Source: other anon may not be a lawyer, but I am.

>>17376881
Ditch her, she was planning on you to make money from the get go, that's why she got even more upset when she heard you already had money

>>17376956
When I get married, I'm promising to stay next to someone till death. That's the premise of marriage. Having a prenup is admitting that the promise doesn't mean shit to you - you're literally planning an easy way out for a thing that is supposed to have no way out.
You're literally saying "Yes, I promise to stay with you till death do us part, but just in case I break my promise, I don't want to get fucked over too bad, so sign here, here and there too".

So why should we even promise, if you don't believe in that? Let's just stay together, and not make promises we don't believe in.

>>17376962
Where did you get yours?

>>17376881
You're doing the right thing by protecting your interests. It does not matter what anyone tells you, a prenup in your case is a sound decision.

Even after marriage, people tend to grow apart and find themselves in a situation that they did not predict, and prenups can't predict everything either, but they can protect both your interests.

Anyone who will marry because of a prenup lives in a place some of us like to call Stupidsville. The citizens of Stupidsville, the Stupids, are generally naive people with some Walt-Disney view of marriage. However, the Stupids, are most likely the ones to not get a single fucking thing in their divorce. Because, being Stupids, they didn't put it in writing in a prenuptial agreement.

>>17377031
>just in case you break your promise

FTFY

>>17377031
People change their minds, there is nothing wrong with preparing for changes.
You may love him now, but you cannot know of you'll love him forever.

>>17377031

Same can be said about marriage from a womans side:''I love you so much, so please sign this here, here and here. So I can fuck you over should I ever not love you anymore.''

Why get married in the first place?(besides taxes perks)

>>17377031
50-60 years is a long time. What if he changes? Develops a mental illness that makes him turn violent towards you and your kids? What if, 20 years from now, you feel like the love is gone? Because people change, and not always for the best.

A prenup protects everyone (yes, even you).

Life isn't like a Disney money: sometimes things go horribly wrong and there's no happily ever after.

>>17377031
oh well a promise is a promise, unbreakable even if one side wants to do it


are you 12?

>>17376881
A prenup has nothing to do with trust, it has everything to do with protecting yourself. Saying that you don't trust her because you want a prenup is the same as her saying you don't trust her because you want to wear a condom - it's bullshit mind games to make you feel bad for caring about yourself.

I know it hurts but you NEED to let her go. This type of woman will play your emotions like a fiddle to get what she wants. Maybe she DOESN'T care about the money, but this move she made makes it very clear that her emotional stability is based entirely off of how much she feels she controls you. A prenup takes some of that control away and it made her angry....

that should say everything you need to know

>>17377079
spot on


women dont understand that signing a prenup doesnt matter if you stay with a man for life

if you both live to 80 and keel over guess what the prenup did? nothing, it was never invoked. Its kindling then.

>>17377091
people, not just women, take is as an effrontery to their character. Jus tlike OP's girl said - the prenup "proves that he doesn't trust her. This argument says more about what she thinks of her own character than it does of OPs

>>17377044
It's not a matter of who breaks it, really.

>>17377056
>Same can be said about marriage from a woman's side
I'm not arguing against men asking women to sign prenup, I'm arguing against the idea of prenup itself.

>Why get married in the first place?
Because traditions, mostly.

>>17377047
>>17377067
Of course people change and you can't KNOW what you'll feel for your partner in 20 years. But if you don't believe you'll love them forever, then in that case you shouldn't marry them.

>Because people change, and not always for the best.
I do know that. But I've also been with my boyfriend long enough to know that we can handle together most things, and in case that something we can't handle shows up, finances wouldn't be my main concern.

>>17377070
It is not "unbreakable", but if one side wants to do it, or both sides want to do it, they get the consequences - splitting their finances.
If you can't handle the consequences of eventually breaking your promise, why doing it in the first place?

>>17377117
>they take it as an affront to them

i never understood this

If i get a lock on my door, is it an affront to my neighbours/strangers that i think they ARE GOING to ROB me blind? no, its to stop it from POTENTIALLY happening

divorce courts are fucked, if people knew how fucked and skewed it was then they would see why prenups are needed.

>>17377127
There is no correlation between wanting a prenup and not believing you will love someone forever. Stop being so dense and use logic.

>>17377127
>It is not "unbreakable", but if one side wants to do it, or both sides want to do it, they get the consequences - splitting their finances.


heres the thing about the "splitting the finances"

most times the guy gets FUCKED.

Alimony
Child support
House? well the mother needs somewhere to sleep especially if she has
Kids? well they go to the mother even if the father was taking care of them and the mother is a known drug addict

im not joking about the drug addict, theres been many publicized cases where the kids are awarded to the heroin addict mother cause the court has this perception that they need a motherly figure even if shes passed out 6/7 days


raw deal is a raw deal

>>17377143
Why would you want a prenup if you truly believed you were going to stay with them?

>>17377127
new reply to this btw...

>and in case that something we can't handle shows up, finances wouldn't be my main concern.

As it should be, but it will be a KEY concern. One of the most commonly mentioned issues causing divorces is finances, usually a disagreement about spending but there is also issues about how it should be made and in what amounts. When she hits the fan in a relationship finances ALWAYS comes up.

"We share a house..."
"We have a joint account..."
"He/She's on the car loan..."

And so forth and so on. In today's world, where wealth is connected directly to stress and happiness, finance NEEDS to be a primary consideration in deciding to continue a relationship as well as ending one.

>>17377149
Because believe doesn't make real.

You may think you'll be together forever, but that doesn't mean you will.

Love doesn't actually conquer all

>>17377127
>It is not "unbreakable", but if one side wants to do it, or both sides want to do it, they get the consequences - splitting their finances.
Are you semi-retarded or full-on?

In what fucking what do people "split their finances" without a lengthy process?

You think some magical fucking elf is going to come to your house with wand and split your house/land into two? Do you think he will convert your 4-door BMW into 2 separate vehicles?

Wake the fuck up. *shakes you*

>>17377127

>I'm arguing against the idea of prenup itself.

Prenup is probably the only way you can go about marriage without shooting yourself in the foot.
Truth is most men don't want to get married(some do but most I know don't)
But since every girl has been brainwashed to set it as a major life goal men tend to go along with it.
Since if they don't they'll lose their partner.

Doesn't mean we don't love our partners, just means that we don't see the world trough pink glasses.
Especially since the huge amount of people that get a divorce these days.

>>17377149
My god you are stupid.
Just because you believe something it doesn't mean it will happen.

>>17377147
The guy does get an unfair treatment, but a lot of things are reasonable.
I don't know how laws are where you live, but here wife gets alimony only if she's a stay at home mom or if she works much less than her partner and anyways for a limited amount of time, which is something I find relatively reasonable.
Mothers (even those who work) often work less and take care of the children more. It happens in most marriages. It's obvious that, in case of divorce, they will still be the ones with custody of the kids. And it's obvious that, in case that you have kids, they have the right to stay in the house and you have to pay for them.

I do agree that in the case of the drug addict, or people who leech off their ex husbands for 25 years, of the things that happen in a divorce is understandable.

>>17377149
Because a prenup has NOTHING to do with trust. It has everything to do with protecting yourself. Todays divorce systems pretty much penalize people for falling out of love with each other. Like somehow we have a financial obligations tied to each others emotions - which is utter hogwash.

>>17377149

Do people truly belive though?
I think many marriages are not like that.
Plenty of people get forced to marry or marry because they're with child and have a strict religion.
Some get married due to peer pressure or out of fear of losing their partner.

My brother got married for the benfits of housing and taxes.

>>17377189
Marriage isn't exactly about love tho.
Marriage is more about forming a family, which includes sharing the financial means to provide for it. So you do have financial obligations. It has always been like that.
You're not penalised for falling out of love, you're "penalised" for breaking a supposedly unbreakable familiar bond.

>>17377186
>The guy does get an unfair treatment, but a lot of things are reasonable.

none are


>Mothers (even those who work) often work less and take care of the children more. It happens in most marriages. It's obvious that, in case of divorce, they will still be the ones with custody of the kids. And it's obvious that, in case that you have kids, they have the right to stay in the house and you have to pay for them.

the women can get a job like anyone else, if they get to stay in the house so should you if you payed for it. Its yours.


>I don't know how laws are where you live, but here wife gets alimony only if she's a stay at home mom or if she works much less than her partner and anyways for a limited amount of time, which is something I find relatively reasonable.

I if they have a joint account and theres a million in there, its often times split 50/50 even if the woman didnt earn a single dime

Theres been many cases where celebrities have to give the woman they were with hundreds of millions cause

>SHES ACCUSTOMED TO THAT LIFESTYLE

This is in no way "reasonable"

A small stipend? sure, but 50/50? no no no


This is no longer the 1920's where the woman couldnt get a job to save her life unless she wanted to suck cock under a desk as a secretary

>>17376956
>>what if ops girl decides one day she needs a WILD PHASE and discards the marriage like its nothing to her
>man keeps his money, women keeps hers, prenup guarantees this
Naivety at finest
Prenup always get thrashed away by crocodile tears

>>17377216
its an added layer of protection to prevent shit hitting the fan

like a condom, but as some men know condoms sometimes arent 100% protection but if you are taking the dive its better to have 99% protection than none

>>17377031
Or
>Just in case she breaks the promise, I want my money back

>>17376881
Good riddance. If she can't respect the fact that divorce is at an all time high than she gave a shit about it. If she was worth her salt she would sign the prenup and not give a fuck because she can make her own money even after you two divorce.

Unfortunately prenups are always thrown out anyway.

>>17377214
>the women can get a job like anyone else
The women has to provide for the kids. They won't magically provide for themselves. If they needed support during marriage, they'll need it now. I do believe women should work if they can, but be paid alimony if they have young kids, for example.

>if they get to stay in the house so should you if you payed for it. Its yours.
They get to stay in the house because of the kids. It's not theirs. Here propriety is split 50/50 between wife and husband, and kids get to live in there till they move out, after that ex wife or ex husband sell the whole propriety and split the money or one of them can buy the other 50%.

>If they have a joint account and theres a million in there, its often times split 50/50 even if the woman didnt earn a single dime
If the woman stayed at home with the kids and took care of the house, and they agreed that was her part of the deal, then she earned 50% of that account.

>This is in no way "reasonable"
> This is no longer the 1920's where the woman couldnt get a job to save her life
Fully agree on this.

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170KB, 640x960px

>>17376888
Let things simmer down, then decide, tensions are high, see what her reasons are beyond "proves" you don't love the person.

Her ideas are not groundless, but wanting a pre-nup "proves" nothing.

If she's adamant on not getting it done, i'd say she isn't worth the time and effort anymore if she isn't willing to put in the trust and effort when you say this is important to you

Went through pretty much the same thing minus being rich, she got really angry when I brought up a prenup, turns out she was a fucking wacko and I dodged a bullet there man, later on she went on to threaten me with false rape among other things.

Anyway a prenup can be thrown out, so if you have to stick with this girl do NOT get married.

>>17376881
I would approach her about it in a way not as a lack of trust, but a sign of good faith between both parties. Tell her you love her and that you will always care about her, and the only time you will both see this prenup is when you both sign it. After it is signed, it will get locked away to where no one will ever see it again.

This idea of making a prenup a "evil necessary" will make it look like you have no intention of ever looking at it again. If you both care about eachother is you say you do, then you are telling the truth.

>>17376881
marriage is not about making it formal. that is for gf status, that is for living together status.

marriage means you will compromise until death. that´s how tradition goes. now it´s up to you to decide if you want this or not. marriage is a contract.


she clearly didn´t know until you told her but I don´t know her. this way you will never trust anyone ever and that may be fine. it´s up to what you want but why the fuck would you guys start talking about marriage. why did you speak? you should have told her you just wanted to remain living together.

you are the idiot here. it is almost as if you wanted to break up with her.

but you should do whatever feels best
it´s just that she will forever think you already thought it wouldn´t last. and that is called making people lose time.

>>17376881

Dump her.

More because you need a girl who will agree to a prenup. It's a deal breaker for you.

Just like if I were to talk about marrying a woman and she told me, "Before we get married, I want you to sign an agreement giving me XYZ in case we divorce," I would be suspicious too.

Intertwining your life financially with someone is a bitch. There's just nothing you can do about it.

>>17377169
>>17377174
I obviously do understand that believing doesn't make things happen.
All I am saying is that if, when entering a supposedly life long partnership, your first thought is how to have your ass covered in case it doesn't go life long, you're clearly not ready for a life long partnership and you don't believe in it.

>>17377170
It shouldn't be an instant process. Marriages aren't meant to be breakable and it shouldn't be easy to get out of them. If you want an easy way out of it, you don't fucking want to get married.

>>17377172
>>17377200

I agree with that.
Marriage institution has a certain purpose and implies certain responsibilities, and I think that while prenup can be a smart move, it pretty much ruins all the premises of marriage and it makes it even less valuable.

Also - Don't you think that a lot of people divorce because they get married for all the wrong reasons?

>>17377262
Why would it be the first thought?
Who are you to say me or the other people in this thread don't believe in it? Just because you don't doesn't mean others won't.

>>17377278

Plenty of people get married for the wrong reasons.

But what are the right reasons?

They only reason I would ever get married is to satisfy my partner and gain benefits for taxes, ect.

But only under prenub, as I'm not gonna risk spending the rest of my life paying for someone that I don't care about anymore.

>>17377309
>But what are the right reasons?

Mostly because you're going to hitch your lives up together anyway. Stuff like cosigning loans, getting houses and vehicles together, having kids, etc.

>>But only under prenub, as I'm not gonna risk spending the rest of my life paying for someone that I don't care about anymore.

By that same token, I can't imagine many women would be happy to sign up for a commitment to a man where she's expected to try and maintain her carreer and/or home and raise the kids because he has all the money, but can get kicked out of the home and lose all her money because the marriage went south.

If I were a chick, I'd sign a prenup. But the guy has to take the kids.

>>17376881
Ditch those friends, man. Shitty people. Good friends would want you to to work it out regardless of their involvement

>>17377326
>but can get kicked out of the home and lose all her money because the marriage went south.

or get kicked out of the home and lose all her money because the husband decided to cheat on her

>>17376881
OP, I have similar situation however, she didn't react that way. Honestly, her reaction was very mellow compared to your girlfriend. Just take a breather, remember if she truly loved you she would understand. DO NOT MARRY HER WITHOUT THAT PRENUP!!!!!

>>17377326

>By that same token, I can't imagine many women would be happy to sign up for a commitment to a man where she's expected to try and maintain her carreer and/or home and raise the kids because he has all the money, but can get kicked out of the home and lose all her money because the marriage went south.

Why would the man have all the money?

Both me and my partner work and make about that same amount of money.

It's not been like that for a long time anymore.

>>17377353
Because kids require attentions and you can't give them an appropriate amount of attention if one of the partners doesn't give up (partially, for a limited amount of time, whatever) on their career. The woman is traditionally and practically the most suited one.

>>17377375

Besides the fact that I disagree with that, what about people that don't have kids?

>>17376888

A combination of some of the posts that responded to the one I'm responding to right now.

People don't realize or perhaps don't like to admit that love fades for some (I mean a lot) of people, and it messes with their fantasy of a perfect marriage or perfect couple or whatever.

I am on your side with the prenup move. She should be more considerate and understand that you don't want to risk anything in the case of a divorce. It's as reasonable as reasonable gets, especially with the amount of money you have to back you up.

>>17377393
why the fuck would you want to marry then? if you want "marriage benefits" then you won't need them because not having kids literally makes you rich

>>17377416

They make a lot of things much easier, especially with getting a house since you get way more options.

And why would I pay more when I can pay less?

And as I stated before many girls have been dreaming of getting married from a very early age.
Not getting married is a huge deal breaker for many woman.

So I'd marry her for her, not because I want to, but because I don't want her to leave me over something this insignificant.

>>17377353
>Why would the man have all the money?

Because the guy is generally the one who insists on a prenup because he makes the most money and wants to protect his investment.

If both partners are working contributing equally or semi-equally to the financial situation and child care and share custody, then a prenup isn't really needed, as they already have generally equal investment anyway.

>>17377435

It is needed since court favours woman over man in these matters.

>>17377416
>why the fuck would you want to marry then? if you want "marriage benefits" then you won't need them because not having kids literally makes you rich

You can still get more money money and benefits from being married even if you don't have kids.

And really, there's no difference between being married and having a place with both your names on the lease, a shared bank account, cosigned car loans, etc.

Might as well get some tax incentives out of it.

>>17377439
>It is needed since court favours woman over man in these matters.

Because the guy is usually the one with the money. Not often you see a case where the woman was out working all day to save money while the guy was a stay at home dad who raised their 3 kids.

I mean, I wish it were the case, because that'd be a pretty sweet gig IMO, but a lot of people don't think so.

>>17377434
>So I'd marry her for her, not because I want to

oh buddy. I have bad news for you

>>17377348
>or get kicked out of the home and lose all her money because the husband decided to cheat on her

Yeah, the husband deciding to cheat on her would constitute the marriage going south.

>>17376901

THIS

>>17376907

Heheh.

>>17376911
>I would personally never marry someone who isn't a cuck

>>17376935
No, it's hedging your bets. If she loved him she wouldn't care because she would know she would never leave him.

>>17376934
Lol, found the used up skank that nobody will marry

>>17376934

Fuck this anon, honestly. I bet this poster is your actual girlfriend.

Business and love are completely separate entities, and should be treated as such.

Let people do whatever mental gymnastics they want, and join the cold-motherfucker party because fuck these hoes and you're better off this way.

Money changes a person... My parents abandoned me and moved to another state with money they collected off my insurance while I was in the hospital from a nearly-deadly accident (and they had rights over me while I was comatose). If someones own parents would fuck their own child like that, then why would you trust a stranger who found it so easy to disappear after a six year run?

>>17377005

I chuckled... This is now a women hate thread for good reason.

>>17377079

This.

>>17377578

Dude. How long were you out?

>>17377604

Not very. Close to a week in the ICU, and another in a regular hospital room. Two more weeks after that to learn how to eat and walk again in a rehab because my knee and face got fucked up. I remember doctors and such coming to me and pressing the painkiller-button to get me high off delottas before putting lein forms in my face for me to sign that give them rights to any monies received. Unfortunately for them, my parents already had their lawyer friends handle everything in their favor while I was out cold. And luckily for me I was on my parents insurance prior to the accident, and that's been getting me through the reconstructive surgeries I need to lead a normal life again. They use this fact to justify their actions, and call me a little prick for wanting my money so I can fix my body and return to school.

They bought a new house in another state, my coverage runs out in two months, I still need more work done, and I'm on my bike at 5 AM to get to work so I can pay my copays/rent/cost of living despite the worsening damage to my extremities. Thanks mom and dad.

tl;dr - Don't trust anyone, especially anyone.

How the fuck do you hide the fact that you have money from someone close to you for SIX FUCKING YEARS???
You must be one stingy motherfucker, goddamn.
With that said, get that prenup.

>>17376932
it's amazing how a few years in a bad marriage changes a sweet, loving person into a greedy succubus.

>>17376997
and the man, traditionally the breadwinner, has to keep paying child support (and sometimes spousal support) so that the family can continue to live according to the standard of living they were used to, while the man lives in destitution.

and yet, for some reason, the ex-wife doesn't have to provide sexual support for the ex-husband. this just shows you how biased the system is. she's got all his money, how's he supposed to get a chick to bang him? so now he's deprived of all the health benefits that come with getting laid on the regular.

>>17377031
yeah but making that vow is just sartrean bad faith. the you in the present makes that vow. the you 10 years from now might decide it's time to bang your personal trainer and not tell your spouse.

Sounds like that whore did you a favor by bailing. Fuck her, find someone else.

>>17377309
I think the only reason to get married is if you intend to start a family and raise children. Otherwise the cons outweigh the pros.

>>17376881
You done fucked up.

I see why you wouldn't tell her about the money and given how you didn't actively use it from the sound of it, there is nothing wrong with not mentioning it ... although keeping such a huge secret for 6 years is bit much, but the timing was even worse ... the moment you fucked up was prenup and your explanation for it.

You basically told her: "Sorry bitch, I am rich as fuck, don't want to risk it."
A prenup is a very delicate thing and needs a better introduction.

>>17376927
He clearly messed up somehow, why did the courts decide that she'll get more than half of his stuff?

>>17377309
>nigga confusing marriage with renting a prostitute that does the dishes

>>17376881
my family have a similar background OP
I would have told her that my grandparents made a pre-nup conditional to my inheritance
make them the bad guys, talk to them about it

pre-nups are alien to many people, and seen negatively by women in particular

does she have the right to be angry?
probably
revealing your wealth six years into a relationship after an argument isn't a great play on your part man

she's probably thinking
"why did he make me me work so hard if he is actually rich"
"he lied to me the whole time"
"money is making us unequal even after 6 years together"

you CHOSE to work for a living, but you kept her in the dark; she didn't have that choice.

outcome A:
she just never talks to you again, probably the result of much more than just your fight
if she never calls you back it's honestly a dodged bullet, if she's just going to up and leave after six fucking years man it's better she does it now
literally why pre-nups exist btw

outcome B:
she contacts you and you get a chance to work it out
try to limit your apology to how you approached it, not the pre-nup itself
it's not wrong to want a pre-nup in your possition

she may simply say that if you won't budge on the pre-nup issue then she is out
let me just put it out there that anyone who doesn't like pre-nups is probably the reason they exist
your call

outcome C:
she just comes back and everything goes on like normal
I'd be concerned about this personally, if a girl leaves for a week like that and nothing is resolved you really have to presume

a good way of explaining it might be that your family's money isn't yours, you're just the custodian of it
the pre-nup just codifies what you already agree between you, and that in moments of weakness it safeguards your relationship
that it is for HER benefit more than yours, pre-nups stop gold diggers for sure but that's not relevant; but they ALSO can stop a wealthy man dumping his wife for a younger woman who's easily bought

>>17377698
>I would have told her that my grandparents made a pre-nup conditional to my inheritance
make them the bad guys, talk to them about it

>rich
Check.

>manipulative
Check.

>liar
Check.

>blaming others instead of owning up
Check.

Another example why pre-nups exist, eh?

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>>17376881
>he thinks prenup do anything


http://www.businessinsider.com/elizabeth-cioffi-wins-prenup-battle-2013-4


http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/5542093.html

>>17377708
>She would receive $25,000 for each year they were married.
She still got scammed.

>>17377706
I wasn't talking to you peasant

managing a wealth disparity in a relationship is a real chalenge, and something you couldn't comprehend unless you've experinced it

many women consciously or not will persue wealthy men for the lifestyle they offer, and it's always mutually destructive

the poorer partner will often lack money management skills, never having that kind of wealth and will regard an inheritance as an endless fountain, or as if they "won" something
for one person it's the culmination of the lifetimes work of their family
for the other it's like a lotto win

wealthy people work hard whether then need to or not, like OP I worked a 12 hour day when I was studying at the detriment of my final marks
the need to work for yourself and not for money is a wisdom that is not widespread

even the most virtuous partner will struggle to see why they should work when they have enough to live on one income or to retire, when they could be spending time with their kids or together

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>>17377708
>Doesn't read article, just shitposts
As a lawyer, I can assure you a legally binding contract is hard to have tossed. This case is unique in circumstance.

This, like other contracts you sign, are hard as fuck to be invalidated, and it's RARE; you have better chances of hitting the fucking lottery.

Shitposter.

>>17377737
>it's okay for me to be a lying, manipulative fuck because I know what's best for my partner and myself, really, I am doing what's best!

>managing a wealth disparity in a relationship is a real chalenge, and something you couldn't comprehend unless you've experinced it
It sure is if you're a paranoid liar who can't bring up the concerns honestly.

Since it's probably a compulsive thing for you, let me spell it out: There is no issues with a pre-nup per se, it's the roundabout way you'd try to push it on somebody with justifications, that anybody but you benefits from it.

>>17377708
>trusting buisiness insider for any reason

they make trash artiles for facebook, they even have a meme dept.

it was a celebrity case and the ruling was extrodinary
a claim of a verbal promise taken over a real, signed legal document

but the big point here is that the prenup was overuled because it was deemed a fraudulent inducement (as basically any contract can be), NOT because all pre-nups are invalid in some way

>>17377784
>paranoid
that implies it's an unfounded fear
the reality is that this shit happens daily, it's a realistic concern

it's easy to say "someone is lying so they must be wrong"
but you havn't lived through women pretending to care about you to get at your money

the wealthy CAN'T be as trusting as the poor because of how attractive targets we are
don't blame us for being guarded, blame the people trying to rip us off

in a relationship you deal with feelings, not logic
making a logically presented case for the stability and security a pre-nup affords is a wasted effort

I'm not advocating lying for OP's benefit, I'm saying he should do it to protect the feelings of his partner and make an uncomfortable truth less problematic

you just don't understand the responsibilities and burdens that come with inherited wealth, you can't trust other people with it because it's not yours

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>>leads to massive argument where she says it proves i don't love the person

first post still best post

Look guys, the problem is that this is not a real argument, this is a TACTIC. You can say this to literally any disagreement. Don't put down the toilet lid? Why, don't you love me? It's the equivalent to "because I told you to"; i.e., it's a demand.

You can tell it's a tactic, because you can play the same card right back:

>"Why don't you want to sign a pre-nup? Don't you love me?"

There's a number of reasons WHY she might be playing the tactic - including genuine insecurity (she didn't even know about the money, remember?), but don't be fooled, because it's a tactic nonetheless.

Don't explain this to her, by the way. And don't throw back at her what I just greentexted unless she's really not budging off the idea of it meaning you don't love her. I'd try and figure out her motivations first, then explain yours. Probably she'll back off - she was already willing to marry you, and now you come with cash, too. But don't put up with this bullshit, regardless of why.

>>17377807
>it's a realistic concern
Gold diggers tend to be pretty easy to spot, if some fat 70 year old fuck thinks that the hot college student gets wet when she sees him, it's not because he isn't being vigilant.

Besides, for this case it was established that the girl didn't even know about OPs money for all the years they've been together ... nor is any of the shit an excuse to lie or "guard" yourself from the person one wants to marry. If you have to do it before you even married, why bothering with the marriage?

>making a logically presented case for the stability and security a pre-nup affords is a wasted effort
Why assuming that right away? Besides, if you're more of rational person and your partner is completely irrational about it ... why even bother?

My best friend married a multimillionaire and wanted a pre-nup even though she's literally a refugee (although with a decent job by now, yay for nepotism). My current GF is rich as fuck too, and we talked about this shit before the relationship started to be sure that we're on the same page ... OP sure fucked up by bringing it up so late.

>I'm saying he should do it to protect the feelings of his partner and make an uncomfortable truth less problematic
It does work if she's completely retarded and can't put one and one together, which is unlikely given that she's a student. Besides lies like this further skew the power dynamics in a relationship beyond the money, and are bound to blow up sooner or later, hurting both.

>>17377837
Or she's simply the more emotional person and doesn't equate marriage with a contract it actually is. There isn't always a hidden motive.

>>17377896
>Or she's simply the more emotional person and doesn't equate marriage with a contract it actually is. There isn't always a hidden motive.

You missed where I said it could certainly be insecurity underlying it. My issue here is with the manipulative accusation. Being a more emotional person doesn't mean you get to be a shitty person, sorry. An equally-emotional but more mature person would have just said they were feeling insecure, and then listened to the alternative explanation. Not packed up and stormed off for a week in full radio silence mode.

OP, like I said there's no way to tell WHY she flipped her shit. But the shit-flipping itself is a problem.

>>17376881

Inheritances and assets held before marriage are separate property. You don't need a prenup to protect them after marriage/divorce.

Property and income acquired DURING the marriage is presumptively community property, however. If you get married, and your trusts/assets are generating ongoing revenue, and you divorce, you will have to prove that that income was generated from a non-community property source. Usually this is done by establishing the short paper trail of money going from your separate property trust to your bank account ("tracing").

i am mostly extremely liberal and prenups don't even seem like such a big deal to me.
but you are messed up OP, 6 years is a long time and you didn't say anything?! why marry her if you think that she could be a golddigger?
my current boyfriend and his family told me after a year of us being together that they have quite a lot of money saved up and their uncle is super rich. they all know i don't have that much money and my family is not wealthy at all. if we get married and he starts discussing a prenup, no problem, i am up for it. but he told me upfront and that is what you do if you have a slight intention of marrying someone.

so i understand her. and nope, she is not after your money. she is just devastated. i would be too.

I have told my parents that if I am to get married one day, they are not to allow it without a pre-nup. So I can shift the responsibility and keep clean hands.

>>17378246
>i understand her!
>im a gold digger too btw


shouldve guessed

>>17376948
T H I S

>>17378263
haha i am a gold digger too? he hardly ever pays for any of my shit. mostly he invites me to a dinner every now and then.
you people are hilarious.

>ITT: /adv/ hipsters defending women and literally saying that men deserve to have all their money taken from them because women are "oppressed", despite women in western society being the most privileged class of people in human history

I hate this board.

>>17376935
no, it means divorce doesnt get more interesting for the woman because of a potential financial gain and therefore helps keeping them together and therefore proofs that he loves her and wants to be with her forever

>>17378282
Literally nobody said that thought. It's okay to hate this board but you could try to read a bit of a thread before posting, you know.

>>17377452

Even on equal terms does court favour the woman over the man.
My uncle got a divorce 4-5 years ago, 1 of his kids is with him and doesnt want to see her mom.
The 2nd child switches every week.
Both parents work and there's not a large diffrence in the amount of money they get.
Yet my uncle needs to pay alimony for no other reason thats she's a woman.
Even though she been with another man for the last 3 years in who's house she lives now.

>>17377466

Okeey buddy

>>17378435
>The 2nd child switches every week.
Hence he needs to pay alimony ... what's so unfair about it?

The only times where the courts tend to favor the women is when it comes to kids, so even a crazy bitch is more likely to get the custody against a reasonable father, thank the gender roles bullshit for that.

>>17378477

It's unfair since he's already taking care of one of the kids and 50% of the other.

While she's only responsible for 50% of 1 of the children.

Why would she need more money than him for only 25% of the responsibility?

Going to marriage in this day and age without a prenup is a practical suicide.

Massive redflag if you gf doesn't understand that so you are just better off without her.

>>17376881
LEAVE HER ASS. SHE IS GUILT TRIPPING YOU. You should ask her to marry you and the day later walk into the room with the paperwork, otherwise call it off. It puts pressure on the female not to fuck up the relationship and cause embarrassment.

>>17378496
Because being a mother lowered her career possibilities in the past. He does earn more, no?

>>17378538

I just told he doesnt.

They both do the same work, they teach people to drive.

And spending some extra time with the kids doesnt validate you to that kind of money.

>>17376901
This

>>17376881
OP DID LITERALLY NOTHING WRONG
Ignore the fucking slut, move on mate.

>>17376934
This dude is 100% a dumb cunt

>>17378600
I think he's right. You can't have a good relationship with someone without open and honest communication. Should he have told her on day 1? No. Day 365? Probably not. But after a couple years into the relationship and you know this is probably the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with? Yes.

What if the shoe was on the other foot and she came to him and said "Before we get married I just want you to know I was a hooker and took as many BBC's and dog cocks as I could get paid for." Yeah, he'd be out of there in a flash.

I honestly think that if you for any reason THINK you need a prenup, as in that's the first thing that comes to your mind while discussing marriage, you shouldn't marry her. Not because having a prenup is bad or wrong, but because it shows that you have obvious doubt in your mind. Your girlfriend is valid in getting upset; she probably was expecting you to be lovey dovey happy go lucky about the possibility of marriage but was instead bogged down by the seriousness of the discussion. A prenup isn't really something right to through out over an INITIAL marriage discussion. Maybe it would have been better at a sequential date.

>>17378613
You're getting that shit wrong, don't compare money to degeneracy.

>/adv/ ready to ruin a 6 year relationship because of a simple disagreement
>telling op to "dump to slut" when she didn't even know he had money

look op, it is all about tone. you probably came off as a little apathetic about the possibility of marriage. if you love this girl, talk to her, make things right. find her and explain that you are in every way ECSTATIC about the possibility of marriage(if you are) and then forget the prenup stuff for a while. bring it up at a later date when you are making ACTUAL marriage plans and not just talking casually.

>>17376881
Do NOT marry this girl OP. Chances in the western world for the average marriage to fail in the western world are statistically near to 50%. Her argument where she says it proves you don't love the person goes for her, too. So she's only going to marry you in case she benefits in a divorce case? You didn't do anything wrong. It was mature and you were just trying to get equal terms. This is a huge red flag.
>>17377031
Are you 15? https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Divorce_demography. The statistics clearly show that countries, which favour the women in case of a divorce have an higher divorce rate. If people gain something from doing something, they will consider it.
>>17377079
THIS!!!
>>17377149
Because it's an insurance for the case that life doesn't follow how you believe it to be. Usually life never goes the way you want to. The most constant thing about time is change.>>17377262
Anon is right you are stupid. OP had 6 years to decide if he is going to marry and probably thought it out. You sir, are naive but don't worr you will learn, too.
>>17377645
I actually think that living your whole life without deending on that money is admirable and shows that OP isn't a lazy cuck.
>>17377698
This

>>17378435

How much does he pay in alimony?

>>17376881
instead of signing a prenup why don't you make a special contract? a special prenup per se.
make the prenup only for the money your parents gave you and the investments you handle with that money BUT share normal money with her and that's it

just say you want your parents wishes to be fullfilled and that it would bug you for honor and nothing else


she has to respect that you don't want her to handle THAT money. but the money from your marriage she should be able to handle as well


make a special prenup.
that's all

>>17378617
It's not wrong. It's a matter of discussing important things that affect the relationship.

But if it's any better, let's say she's an accountant with a public practice and just before they get married she confesses that she never got a license to practice accounting or do tax returns so chances of her being a contributor to family finances are nil. Assuming it's another anon who isn't rich, what does he do?

>>17377031
If you have the legal right to break the promise, the other person should have the legal right to fortify that promise by removing any gain you can get from breaking the promise.

>>17376962
>posting in English
Can I see your English degree please?

>>17376901

Kek

>>17376881
Goldigggga nigguh

you're way better off dude, if she was a decent, rational human who loved you this would NOT be a problem.

>been together for 6 years now, was considering marriage
>never told her about the money
>i reveal that i have money
>makes her angrier, says i don't trust her
well, yeah. You don't trust her, at all, and she left you because of it.
>What do I do /adv/?
Live your single dude life.

>>17376933
I agree with this, OP

>>17376881
>leads to massive argument where she says it proves i don't love the person

Maybe so, but if that is the case, refusing a prenuptial agreement proves the same thing.

HOWEVER

In your case she might not be entitled to your money because it is an asset you possessed prior to marriage

>>17376888
This.

Prenup is so essential. I've seen so many guys get so royally screwed over. I won't marry without one.

>>17379316

Come on we don't even know the jurisdiction and can't possibly say this without it.

Anon where do you live? If you want any kind of solid legal advice, we must start there.

Otherwise I'd say stop wasting your time and move on, counting yourself lucky you got rid of this golddigger while you had the opportunity. Expect her to run back though, and hope to god she's not pregnant.

She couldn't be pregnant. . .could she? DO NOT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES HAVE SEX WITH HER AGAIN

>>17376934
This guy obviously is a retarded and has no life experience.

>>17379328
>We don't know everything so we can't make statements that being with "might"

Come on, son. I know it's summer and you've been out of school for a few weeks, but try to keep up.

First of all I think you should look into the marriage laws in your country. Where I live she wouldn't be able to see a dime of your money, even without a prenup, BUT she can get half of everything you buy with it. So if you buy a house with that money after you marry her half of that house is hers. Look up the legislation on this issue, it may save you a lot of headaches in the future.

Now. If you have some retarded laws where she can get half of your shit don't even consider marrying someone without a prenup. Your girlfriend may not be a gold digger, she may actually be pissed that she thinks you don't love her or trust her or whatever because of this. Some people are stupid like that. It's irrelevant though, no matter her intentions now, you can get fucked either way. You will marry her with a prenup or not at all and she needs to understand and accept this.

>>17377688

Because the court system is heavily biased towards women. Unless the woman is a convicted child molester, child abuser, or animal abuser, a woman will at least get half your shit in a divorce.

>>17377149

>Why would you want health insurance if you truly believe you will never get seriously injured?

>>17379333
>is a retarded

>>17376881
D I T C H
I
T
C
H

>>17376881
Move on, plenty of fish out there

>>17376915
There was on hers, op

My dad set me up so that I have to sign a prenup or the money goes to charity. I get my trust in installments, so midway through they'd just stop after marriage without a prenup.

So unless my SO wouldn't want either of us to have that money, she'd sign one.

>>17376881
You were not hiding the money because you were not using it (going off what you have said in the OP), your gf had no obligation to know about it.
The fact that she is so touchy over the money and prenup does not look good.

>>17376919
>MGTOW
>MEN going their own way

I'm inclined to call bullshit on your claim, anonymous

>>17377031
Congratulations, you've just self discovered that marriage is a fucking sham

>>17379586
Your dad is a wise man, anon

>>17376935
LET ME PLAY DEVIL'S ADVOCATE.

If you get a prenup and the marriage succeeds, doesn't the prenup just become a worthless piece of paper?

By not signing it, YOU are betting on it not succeeding and coming out the other side with a ton of shit that isn't yours.

If you had no reservations that the marriage would succeed, they wouldn't have a problem signing a piece of paper that should be worthless in their opinion.

People don't sign contracts in business because they expect the other side to fuck them. They sign them in case the other sides becomes stupid for some reason and they are forced to rely on the contract to protect them.

>>17379937
>LET ME PLAY DEVIL'S ADVOCATE.
>If you get a prenup and the marriage succeeds, doesn't the prenup just become a worthless piece of paper?
>By not signing it, YOU are betting on it not succeeding and coming out the other side with a ton of shit that isn't yours.
>If you had no reservations that the marriage would succeed, they wouldn't have a problem signing a piece of paper that should be worthless in their opinion.
People don't sign contracts in business because they expect the other side to fuck them. They sign them in case the other sides becomes stupid for some reason and they are forced to rely on the contract to protect them.

>>17376881
DTMFA. Consider yourself fortunate this happened before you actually married her.