Should I keep my friends and risk constantly stressing them out, or should I cut them off and risk hurting them?
I have a close, small friend circle who have been together for 5 years now. We have been through ups and downs, but ultimately I've had most of the ups and they've received most of the downs.
I've always worried about them because of this and sometimes the fear clouds my thoughts, causing me to say the wrong things at the wrong times. This just stresses them out even more, which makes me worry… and the cycle goes on.
I figure they won’t have to stress about me if I leave since they no longer have to hear my problems. The thing is, we all love each other very much and they will be very hurt if I just up and go. Each one would probably also blame themselves for my departure.
So should I tough it out and try my best to grow a pair to become their support, or should I leave before I can deal any more damage?
Don't make the decision for them. If they want to get rid of you they will. If they think you're worth all the trouble they won't. I have a feeling you're probably just scared that they'll get tired of your bullshit and leave, so you want to leave first. Understandable in a way, but a shitty thing to do. Just trust them, I'm sure they know what they want and need without you deciding what that is.