Do I just have to accept that sexual lust will fade after some

Then, I met a guy online. We started chatting, we got along very well and things started to get more "serious" between us, some feelings were also involved. He was from another city so I spontaneously went and visited him and - again: I started a mainly physical relationship with this guy - even though some more feelings were involved than with the douchebag before. But still, this guy had so many flaws and issues that bothered me which my ex boyfriend did not have; and I started to question whether the sexual gratification was worth putting up with the negative aspects. I ended up breaking up with him, too, even though I still think about him sometimes as the sex was very, very good and satisfying.
Well, shortly after that I decided that all these sexual experiences I made in the last months were NOT at all worth it, they couldn't compare to the general happiness and safety my ex-boyfriend gave me. And I convinced myself that it's normal to lose the sexual desire for one person after being together for some time, that it would also have happened with that guy from another city, and what would then be left? No sexual desire AND his flaws. But with my ex-boyfriend, there would still be love, and understanding, and happiness, and security and and and...So I decided to contact my ex-boyfriend again and, long story short, now we've been together again since the beginning of the year.

2/?

At first, the sex was a bit better, I was very positive that something might change.
But now I don't feel any sexual desire at all again. Not that there's no attraction, he's good looking, attractive, intelligent, he's 100% my type. But I just don't feel any lust. With that guy from another city, I just couldn't contain myself, we were mad for one another. But with my boyfriend.. it would feel weird to behave in the way I behaved when I and the other guy were getting it on. So I know that i'm capable of having great sex, and I remember that some time ago I did in fact have great sex. But now I just don't feel any desire. My boyfriend of course gets frustrated because he says he needs it and he always tries to make advances but that doesn't help at all. I feel under pressure and every tiny bit of lust is gone even though I, too, miss having sex, especially when I sometimes think of the couple of months with that guy from another city.

>tl;dr
I have found the man of my dreams and I want to spend all my days with him. But I don't feel any sexual lust FOR HIM anymore, while he does for me. This leads to frustration and anger in our relationship. wat do

I don't really know if what I'm writing makes sense. I don't even know what replies I'm expecting.
Maybe any similar experiences, any advice? I want to stay in this relationship, and he wants too! So breaking up again is no option.

3/3

>>17372742
>Tl;dr: i cheated on my boyfriend and i'm trying to rationalize something out of it

fucken women

Sex gets stale, can you find ways to spice it up? Maybe you have a fetish or something?

I've been in similar situations with my relationships, and, now at 30, I've found I want a buddy more than I want the crazy sex. I want a companion. Maybe you'll come around to that too.

Sex is important but like >>17372791 said you can get creative. My gf and I have done things recently to make things more interesting, for both me and her. We're both probably 'subs' - which is maybe not ideal, but we make up for it by doing things like I'll dominate her and then another time she'll tie me up and edge me to orgasm.

The more you talk the more you'll find what he's into and open up about what you are into. I'd say you guys just need to talk about sex more maybe.

It's completely normal for one person to be hornier than the other. My gf wants sex like 4x per week and I generally only want it on the weekends because I'm so tired from work. We compromise.

>>17372791
Well, we used to do really everything in our first years. Maybe we did "too much", it feels like there's nothing left we can do apart from really disgusting stuff.

We enjoyed anal and everything that has to do with it a lot. Now, the very thought of the whole preparation and foreplay that goes along with it annoys me.

Although now, that I think about it, I would do it for another guy any second if I felt that he would be into it and that it would make him horny.
Somehow for me it's not about the sex itself, it's about the conquering, the feeling desired. I remember telling my boyfriend a couple of years ago that I'd do everything in bed as long as I feel and see and hear how horny it makes him.
Now, after "all these years" I feel like it's a given that he is attracted by me (especially as he never had another girl in his life) and that there is no real challenge for me to prove how "hot" i can be. I would very much like to change this... To go back to the "do everything he wants as long as I see how hot he finds it"

>>17372820
Just break up with him.
He deserves better than a cheater.

>>17372805
>The more you talk the more you'll find what he's into and open up about what you are into
We know that actually, as we had a perfectly functioning sex life until last year when somehow routine started to creep into our relationship.
I know exactly what makes him go crazy, I know exactly what he likes.

It just seems like I don't know what "I" like.
As mentioned here >>17372820 i think that I like the whole conquering and feeling desired part more than acthe actual physical stimulation.
I remember being completely satisfied by just giving endlessly long , crazy blowjobs because his reaction to it was just... hnng.
I enjoyed more doing things to him than having him getting down on me as I always felt like he was only doing it half-assedly (maybe it appeared that way because he was so inexperienced)

But now I've somehow lost all my desire to get intimate with him as I don't feel he desires me that much, it feels like my "duty" as his gf to have sex, it's nothing special anymore..

>>17372820
Well you have a beta boyfriend. You want some Chad who's going to fuck you silly or you want a nice guy? True there is some guys that sort of meet both requirements, but not really. Sounds like you have a better friend then you have a lover.

This is way out there, but, you think he'd be up for you having a bull? Maybe a guy that can fuck you?

>>17372842
I didn't read where she cheated, but I do feel bad for this guy. He's a robot that finally got a gf and now he can't please her sexually even though he's been really good to her.

>>17372848
I thought you were the one who was bored and he was still horny for you?

>I enjoyed more doing things to him than having him getting down on me as I always felt like he was only doing it half-assedly (maybe it appeared that way because he was so inexperienced)
Sounds like you need to train him.


You want to be dominated.

>>17372853
>You want some Chad who's going to fuck you silly or you want a nice guy?
-had a Chad last year (the ignorant douchebag) and it was not what I wanted AT ALL (extremely good-looking, ripped meathead but literally a fucking idiot and the sex wasn't that good either)
-had a guy that knew how to fuck AND please me but when I wasn't horny, he grossed me out. Visually not my type at all, was messy, never achieved anything in his life.
-then there's my boyfriend who's good looking, extremely intelligent, considerate, kind, thoughtful, who has achieved a lot in his life and is overall a person I can look up to and WANT to spend my life with so bad. But sexually it's just.... meh.

It's true, he is really my best friend (as I don't have many friends anyway) and we help and support each other in so many aspects. I would wish we could somehow be best friends and lovers.

>He's a robot that finally got a gf and now he can't please her sexually even though he's been really good to her.
that's basically the situation and I feel so shitty about it.
when we got together again in January, I really hoped that maybe in the time when we weren't together, he would have had some other girl so that now he would be more confident and that I had that urge again to prove how great the sex with me is. But of course he didn't.
I wonder if the situation was different if he had had sex with another girl

>>17372897
So get him another girl

>>17372897
>he would have had some other girl so that now he would be more confident and that I had that urge again to prove how great the sex with me is. But of course he didn't.
that's because you're a whore and he isn't. yes you were 'broken' up but you obviously weren't too 'broken up' about it whoring around. fucking disgusting. in the short time you managed to be apart you fucked TWO other guys. It isn't cheating but it shows how disgusting you are.

maybe this guy will eventually figure out he doesn't want to be with such a disgusting cum guzzler who doesn't appreciate what she has when she has a good guy

wwaaa waaaa he doesn't fuck me hard enough

get the fuck outa here

>>17372853
Yeah, i was wrong i guess.

>>17372865
>I thought you were the one who was bored and he was still horny for you?
Yes, that's the case. Where did you read otherwise? (English is not my first language, sorry if my posts are hard to understand)

>You want to be dominated.
>Sounds like you need to train him.
Both statements arew absolutely true. Both statements sadly are completely contrary.
The feeling of telling him "to do this and that" is really the opposite of him being dominant and me submissive.

Also, he takes criticism very personally very quick. I have to be extremely careful when ciriticizing because he can't stay calm and objective when there's something I don't like about him and he gets mad and depressed. (although after an hour or so he usually apologizes and sees how stupid it was from him to react that impulsively but in that moment he just can't control himself)
Criticizing, or even suggesting something, during sex is a veeeery delicate topic.

>>17372932
You're wrong about the cheating, but not wrong about that he deserves better.

>>17372926
wew lad

>>17372934
He's never going to be amazing at sex. The only reason you are so good at it is because you're a slut and have all that practice riding the cock carousel.

Do this guy a favor and break up with him.

>>17372960
Breaking up is not an option for both of us.

>>17372984
Well I wish I had a bf like him. It's sad you normies never understand how good you have it.

>>17373016
why is it that people are never satisfied with what they have

>>17373033
I think we are all victims of that to some degree. Got no job, don't have any money. Have a job, don't have any time and exhausted. Don't have a gf, so lonely. Have a gf, too much hassle.

Or in her case: Got a good guy, won't fuck me right. Got a bad guy, won't treat me right.

>>17372727
I feel bad for this guy, he probly didn't get any vag while they were broken up