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Hey /adv/. Kinda gonna ramble here, I'm not sure if I need advice as much as I'm curious if people can relate, just so I can get some perspective.
I graduated last year. In the past year, I met a girl and we've been going out for about 8 months. Lovely girl, beautiful, incredibly high aspirations and the intelligence and drive to pull them off, thoughtful, good in the sack... She's great. But she's also got diagnosed anxiety disorder and gets very upset over things very quick; she's also so meticulous about planning things that often they get to her if there's something she's unsure of. I'm the opposite and focus on being adaptable, so I just go with the flow. It helps her a lot of the time to cool her jets and work with bad situations but sometimes we're at odds.
One of her main dreams is to move to Philly and there's a program that seems perfectly fit for what she's doing. I'm like... 95% sure she will apply to it and get in without issue, just since she's her. Thing is, she's been kind of floating that she'll be probably doing this since we've been together for two months, and she's had her heart broken by long-distance stuff. I haven't really said much about it since it's still a year in the future, so she got really upset the other night, feeling I'm not supporting her because I probably don't want to go. We talked for a few hours and I gave her my honest answer, which is that I can't really know how I'm going to feel about this until next year but I'd be happy to go with her if that's where she's moving. She's cool with that answer, but wants me to be honest about it come, say, March so we can plan this if we're gonna move up there.
What do you guys think about following SOs around? How long were you with them and how did you end up? I do like Philly and I probably will be up for it, but it is a bit earlier than I thought I would be doing that sort of thing, especially since I've been in my area for so long.
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>>17371140
Sounds like you're thinking this through and that you're with a solid partner. There's nothing wrong with moving to a new city with an SO as long as it is deliberate and you have a plan.
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>>17371159
I'm glad it sounds OK. I'm just worried because it feels so weird coming right out of college to be in a relationship so deep as to move out so far... I've never devoted myself so deeply to someone and as someone really, REALLY heavily introverted it's kicking up some knee-jerk feelings that I need to slow down or something out of self-preservation for my usual habits.
I don't think self-preservation is even that great; I'm a really hedonistic person and my me time, right now, is rambling about feelings on /adv/ and playing VA-11 HALL-A with some mixed drinks. Not doing much for me or anyone else. She's the best thing that's happened to me in a long, long time and she's shaping me up to not be a dork with no standards. I reach for better because of her next to me. But being independent, making a damn good living that I can enjoy myself with never happened... It makes me feel like this is where I expected to be in four years instead of now. Guess I didn't put enough stock in myself being with someone like her.
I'm also concerned that my need for my me time is going to be in a ton of stress, I suppose. She does really want our us time to be us, and while I don't personally mind it I know I've had periods where my introversion has tuckered me out from being with her for really long periods of time. She's unbelievably extroverted and I don't know how to tell her it's not her fault if I get tired without upsetting her. Dunno if it's weird I'm concerned about that and not as much moving away from my parents, friends of 20-something years, or "home" but that... Ugh. I have no concept of what's normal or not.
(Thanks for reading, by the way. All y'all. I feel like there's a lot to sort through in my head and you guys always help.)
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>>17371140
Just going by normal statistics, two years from now you will probably not be with this girl, and might not even remember her name, but you'll be in Philadelphia. Will that be OK?
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