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im sure all of you know this feel >being in kind of a happy

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im sure all of you know this feel

>being in kind of a happy relationship
>having low confidence
>the fact that things seem to work well mean nothing if this feel creeps up on you

>my girl likes to go to parties mainly for dancing
>somewhere in my 20s i just lost it. cant do it. feels somehow unnatural for me to dance. only occasion i do is when i go to gigs where theres someone playing i really enjoy listening to.
>im a little scared to go with her to partys cause low self esteem
>so when it happens i often try to get somewhere at the party where im not in direct contact with her
>often i leave without saying
>tonight open air party
>she went there earlier tahn me
>arrive
>see dancing bluk of people
>cant even go near
>end up riding bike through the nighg playing pokemon go
>arrive home
>fells are strong
>wonder if she will come by after party or go to her hom
>wonder her home
>wonder come home with some dude
>cant stop this feeling

i know i should just control this thought and regulate myself. should control it by intellectual reflecting, knowing that she wont do this. but cant think in rational way. only higly emotional driven by fear. what can i do?

also general feels of fear and jealousy thread

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>>17361130
This shit creeped up on me after i got sick, really bad.

If she isn't with me it feels like she wants to be with someone else and that's why she isn't here.

Before I was sick she was the clingy one, now it feels like she isn't so it makes it worse.

Keep thinking she found someone else to talk to while I was sick.
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>>17361130
Hey, asshole, make a sacrifice for her and be there for her. Going out of your comfort zone as a gesture to her happiness is the type of compromise you do make in a relationship. She'll want you to be there, and you'll have peace of mind.
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>>17361130>>17361196
>>17361172
Your feelings are very normal but you have to learn to deal with them, or else your relationship will be ruined in the long run
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>>17361172
so this all started because right after your sickness u felt just your dropping out as an active social partner while being sick was enough to make her look for someone else?

this really made me feel.

theres one thing i can tell you. but unfortunately this is something very rational and therefore might be no help.
you cant be the only one in her life she wants to be socially active with. of course there are occasions she prefers the company of maybe a friend more than yours. thats just heathy.

but damn i know how this feels. sometimes i think stupid things like i think it would best if it were just the two of us and i could control her having noone to interract with. like 60 years ago or whatever
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>>17361130
>I'm sure all of you know this feel
>in a relationship

OP I just spat out my drink laughing and then I broke down crying
thanks senpai
>>
>>17361203
im the second poster
I know, i feel im straining her trying to keep her attention. It's only been 2 weeks but it's not getting any better for me.


>>17361207
It wasn't just me being sick, I also got depressed after it and started to not be as responsive.
That's why I have the constant 'she found someone else' feeling.

I do understand she has friends and stuff but its still pretty shit.

>control her
I'm trying really hard not to be controlling.

Worst part is I don't usually feel emotions this strong, I don't think I ever have and I can't seem to deal with it.
>>
>>17361196
this may sound dumb, but i make sacrifices very often. she does, too. this is why its been working so well. but sometimes im just not able to do it. my gf helps me overcome many feels and fears but some are to deeply rooted.
>>
>>17361217
Have you talked with her about your insecurities?
My bf is also afraid i might leave him, if i'm going sonewhere with my friends or put on nice clothe and make up for fun etc. But we talk about it, and i accept his insecurity, of course i also try not to make him insecure by thinking about what makes him feel bad and not do it, but i think it helps to talk about it, he gets less insecure because he can see i'm coming home everyday and i don't love him less after a little trip to the store
So communication!
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>>17361240
Yeah we've talked about it, I've tried opening up a lot more than I used. She generally says she loves me and there's nothing to worry about and she feels the same when I go to work.

She is a lot more insecure than me about herself and i think that's partly why its hanging on me that she doesn't seem as worried that I will leave or find someone else.(ever since i got sick)

She said we are with each other more than enough so she doesn't feel as insecure.

I've tried doing new things for her, which previously I wouldn't have liked but now I just feel happy when we are together or communicating i don't care what we are doing.

I've turned into like a beta and it's fucking with my head

thanks for your response, I'll keep trying to talk about my feelings and hopefully she will as well. I don't talk to anyone else about this stuff so this is kind of nice.
>>
>>17361217

>I do understand she has friends and stuff but its still pretty shit.

i know this feel. but you probably have friends who mean much to you. we know that they need their social environment. but them having many friends makes us fear they may be too independent to not leave us at one point. this comes with the low self esteem. as long as we cant see whats to love about us we cant take someone else seriously that "pretends" to love us.

>>control her
of course you dont want to do this. i know this is stupid. nevertheless i cant stop feeling this way sometimes

>Worst part is I don't usually feel emotions this strong, I don't think I ever have and I can't seem to deal with it.

exactly the same with me. the relationship before her i couldnt feel this much because my love for them wasnt the way it is to her. low self esteem comes crawling because we in deep bad man
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>>17361271
I have like 2 'close' friends that I play games with and I play with their friends. She also only has a couple she actually seems to like hanging with.
I've always had somewhat low self-esteem(like everyone else) but it never affected me like this.

>>17361271
>the relationship before her i couldnt feel this much
I've only been in one relationship before her and it was like we just stuck together because we wanted the company. I ended up having to end it and felt better desu.
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>>17361270
I'm sorry to hear you don't have many to talk with it about!
It's funny cause me and my bf are in the same situation, i have no confident but because we live together, sleep eat do almost eveything together, we even share one phone. I don't think he'll leave, i'm afraid he'll find me unatttactive but i feel like he wouldn't cheat or leave me.
But he doesn't feel as sure as i do, maybe it's because he only have a small group of friends, i have four friends all female and he have two friends both male and then my girlfriends love him but he doesn't really like hanging with them without me. He's not that social while i like to take road trips with my friends, we are never away for more than some hours, and i don't drink or party so it's only the road trips where i get to "go out"
I always tell him to calm down because i love him but it only works sometimes.
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>>17362038
not sure about your bf but whenever my gf goes out to clubs or pubs which she rarely does I get really worried. Not so much that she will cheat but she will be taken advantage of. Shes a lightweight
some of her friends are really shit and will get her another alcoholic drink when she asks for water.
she also gets really sad afterwards if she feels sick and it makes me want to tell her no drinking but I don't want to be controlling.

All i can recommend is send him lots of pictures. It reassures me she is OK.
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>>17362056
My bf never goes out, but i understand your concern if her friends are dicks! I always either send him pictures of my trip or take pictures the whole trip so he can see what we've been doing, and he's always okay when i get home it's more when i leave theres a problem. He'll sometimes say stuff like "who are you going to sleep with" " don't cheat on me while you're out" etc. And of course he's not trying to be a dick he's just insecure and i don't always know what to do
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>>17362067
I'm not sure. Try and compliment him more often to try and get him to think he deserves you and you want him.
Good luck
>>
>>17362112
Thank you for your advice! I will try that, i want to make him happy!
I hope your gf does the same so you get more confident!
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