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Hey /adv/, I've got somewhat of a conundrum for you. I'm

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Hey /adv/, I've got somewhat of a conundrum for you. I'm 25, and by almost all measures and metrics, I'm successful. Pic is me.

I've got an MS in Electrical Engineering from a highly rated university in the northeast and work as an Electronics Engineer in a research lab. I'm a homeowner. I'm married to a great girl (who is both amazing and infuriating, often at the same often) and have 2 amazing puppies.

My entire life has sort of been a pursuit of the next stage. I worked hard in Middle School to get into honors classes in HS. I worked hard in HS and took college classes in HS to get into a great college. I worked hard in my undergrad to be able to get into a graduate program. And I worked hard in the graduate program to be able to get a job in the research world and make a difference in the state of technology.

I saved and scrimped to be able to be a homeowner at a young age. I was overly social in college (which is hard for me as a natural introvert) to meet someone to spend the rest of my life with, and I did.

I guess, I'm just not sure of what comes next. My entire life has been the pursuit of reaching my goals to be happily married, a homeowner, and have a great job that makes a difference in the world. I've reached the top of the mountain, so to speak, and the lack of a direction of where to go from here has got me feeling somewhat disoriented and empty.

Sure, there's professional advancement, which is all fine well and good, but that's far from something I'd consider an overarching goal that can permeate my life and would provide me with the motivation I need.

Maybe it's just a grass-seeming-greener thing, but I feel like the lack of some kind of overarching goal is sapping my motivation and my drive, which is leaving me feeling lazy and I dislike seeing myself as lazy.

What should I do /adv/? Where do I go from here? Do I find a new goal? Do I try to figure out how to live a life without that next-stage mentality? If so, how?
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get your phd
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find a new goal.
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maybe you should start thinking about spawning brood that you can shape and mold into fine achievers like yourself
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>>17359090
That's something I've considered, but the problem with that is it paints you into a box of being stuck being a basic research paper-writing-machine in my lab, rather than doing the real, hands-on applications kind of research I'm interested in. I don't want to spend 8 hours a day writing equations, doing derivations, and writing papers and giving presentations at conferences. I want to design technologies that are new and novel and do more applied research, which you tend to get away from with a PhD.
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>>17359100
That's in the plans a few years out (start trying around 28). My wife loses her phone, wallet, and purse constantly. I don't think she's ready to handle a child and I don't think I am either, if I'm being honest. I want to try and get my student loans paid off completely before we start having kids.
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>>17359085
There is no purpose to life. I don't know if there is a meaning to it either. Knowing this is sometimes depressing but is true freedom. OP you can do whatever the fuck you want. You can sit around on the couch for the rest of your life if that's what makes you and your lady happy. Life's just too short to worry about "what's next?" Focus on what you enjoy; be a hedonist; pamper your lady, grab what pleasures you can. Why worry?
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>>17359085
Maybe there is something else going on? Like for instance a health issue causing low-grade depression? Achieving goals causes a release of dopamine. If you look up "chemical causes of happiness" you will find that chems do play a huge role in what drives us. You can gimmick your body into upping your emotions; I'm clinically depressed/ill and taking this stuff called Zembrin along with St John's Wort and CBD oil. There could also be a lack of greens in your diet (wild lamb's quarters are a natural antidepressant) and/or a lack of Vitamin D and exercise. Maybe you could make a habit of going camping with your wife?
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>>17359204

That's an interesting thought. I dealt with depression in my younger days, but haven't really had much of an issue with it since. I exercise about 3x a week and try to eat healthy, although I enjoy pizza a handful of times a week. One of my indulgences.

I'll definitely take a look into the possibility of the chemical issues though. It sounds like a pretty plausible cause.

She's not the camping type, but we live in the country as it is. I'm out quite a bit, mowing the lawn, working in the garden, playing with the dogs, etc. though.
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>>17359085
>What should I do /adv/? Where do I go from here? Do I find a new goal? Do I try to figure out how to live a life without that next-stage mentality? If so, how?

Find a hobby/passion, and make attaining new heights of it your new goal.

I.E.

If you enjoy food, make it a goal to try new things, make cook new things, whatever.

If you enjoy being active and competitive, join a league of some sort (football, basketball, billiards, whatever) and make progression there a goal.

If you enjoy traveling/exploring, make it a goal to save enough to take vacations in every country.

Doesn't matter what, just find something that excites you and that you genuinely love doing, and do that.
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>>17359101
who says it has to?
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>>17359274
My issue has been I've yet to find a hobby that can keep my interest for more than a few weeks before I've lost my interest/motivation.

>>17359295
Unfortunately, management has basically said that the job of PhDs in their organization is to do basic research and publish publish publish.
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>>17359085
>Sure, there's professional advancement, which is all fine well and good, but that's far from something I'd consider an overarching goal that can permeate my life and would provide me with the motivation I need.

Wrong. Your daily work/tasks should be so fulfilling to you that nothing else matters. That's how it works.
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>>17359085
Add me on skype joel4earl i can answer all your problems. 100% SERIOUS
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You should lose some weight
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I think losing weight would be a great solution for you. It provides a goal that will make you healthier. Physical health impacts mental health so you'll probably feel more satisfied with what you have.

Also, if you believe you are already successful in the weight department then you need a reality check, no offense, but it's obvious from your pic that you are at least overweight, if not obese.

Eat less, move more, no excuses.
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>>17359429
>Eat less, move more, no excuses


WHY do you people always have to be so patronizing
It was going ok before that stupid line
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You could start a business? You're an engineer right? Learn some machining, buy or build your own CNC equipment?

Have kids? Sounds like you should probably reproduce desu senpai, not enough people out there like you
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>MSEE age 25
>went straight into MS out of undergrad
fell for it
should have gotten a job first
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>>17359085
hit the gym home boy, you're 25 with no kids and you already have the dad look down
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>>17359433
It is not patronizing. Eating food based on your actual nutrional needs is a corner stone of your biological self. It is non-negotiable. Same for movement and exercise, you are a biological being that is literally built for those two things, you need to do them otherwise your whole system will slack.
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My problem is, I've never found the gym particularly satisfying in and of itself.

I used to work out a lot more in college (I was a lineman) because it was towards a higher goal that I found worthwhile.

I do currently work out 3x a week (I get 3 hours a week of paid time at the gym) for about an hr each time, mostly cardio and have a caloric intake of roughly 1900 calories a day, so it's not to say I don't eat healthy most of the time.

My problem is the motivation is scant there. Why work out? My health? Eh, I'm 25 and heart problems and shit are a long way off. Looks? I'm married, so who else do I need to impress? She likes the fact that I'm a bigger guy (all of the guys she's dated have been broader shouldered chubbier guys like myself).

There seems to be very little payoff to doing that, so it's difficult for me to find any motivation to do that.
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>>17359085
How about fuck off and find a real problem? First world problems ey lmao
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>>17359625
>It is not patronizing.


Yes it fucking is, listen to yourself.
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>>17359101
Is this true for most fields? I want to eventually go the PhD route but idk....they obviously make less money in academia but it seems like you have more freedoms which is what I uktimately want. I kinda dread 9-5 jobs, but then again Ive never had a research related 9-5 as im still undergrad
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>>17359199

Gonna agree with this fella. Sometimes you just gotta enjoy life for what it is. Go on an adventure, visit other places, other continents, other countries, see how other people in the world live. It will really change your perspective on life and challenge how it is you thought the world was like. For you, in a developed nation, life seems pretty linear, but other people have it way different. Learn something new that isn't related to electrical engineering, constantly be challenging yourself to learn new things and meet new people. I don't guarantee this will make you happy but it's a good start.
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>>17359085
Do more small things. Travel, get into a hobby, build a shed or deck, rebuild a car, read into some philosophy, or just read more in general. Big goals are well and all, but they aren't necessarily the only ones that can give you purpose.
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>>17359679
I used to weigh 300 pounds (6'3, so not that bad). Life felt the same way, I had a job that I like, a home (bought at 27), et cetera. When I lost weight (now 215) and felt the shear capability of my own body, I don't need to find motivation anymore, I just started to want to do things.
Take my experience for what you will.
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>>17359085
>I'm 25, and by almost all measures and metrics, I'm successful
>I'm married to a great girl (who is both amazing and infuriating, often at the same often) and have 2 amazing puppies
>I was overly social in college (which is hard for me as a natural introvert)
>My entire life has been the pursuit of reaching my goals to be happily married, a homeowner, and have a great job that makes a difference in the world
>that's far from something I'd consider an overarching goal that can permeate my life
>grass-seeming-greener
You look and sound like a le-hat-tipping Redditor.

Sorry to say, but wrong site buddy. This place is for NEETs, kissless basement wizards and beta orbiters.

You should do the exact opposite of any advice you receive. And yes, that includes my advice.

/tips fedora

G'day, gentle sir.
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>>17359085
Do you have any dreams, anon? Things you wish you could do if you had the time, money, whatever? Work towards those things then.
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>>17359721
No. It's my organization specifically. The culture will vary from org to org. For us, MS level people are the applied guys and PhD are the paper makers.

There's a lot of freedom in both to pursue what interests you, so long as you stay within the swim lanes for your level and for your organization.

>>17359781
Right now, I'm fluctuating between 250-265. It's comfortable, (I'm 6' even) but I find myself having difficulty slimming down any further, despite exercising 3x a week and eating around 1900 cal/day. I'm not sure if it's stress levels or lack of sleep, but something has more or less plateau'd my weight loss

>>17359817
Honestly, my dreams were basically to get married, own a house in the country, and work in research lab, and eventually procreate and whatnot (but this is not the time for that. Student loans and shit to pay off first.) That was about as far as my prior planning in my younger days got me.
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>>17359911
You can always find new dreams. A life without dreams is a very sad one. There's gotta be a subject that interests you, take a class, read, or travel. Something will inspire you.
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>>17359085

Get an MBA. Your company will probably pay for it. You will be able to chew up those business majors who don't understand the business cycle is a second order differential equation.

it will be invigorating learning something completely different and then you can get into management where the real $$$ and power lies.

That's what I did and never regretted it.
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>>17360123
This is something I'd considered previously, but it's almost looked down upon in our research lab (which explains the managerial incompetence, but I digress). They will pay for a PhD, but the MBA, I'd have to find a way to justify it.
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OP, you should try out art of violence.

Learn to play an instrument in your downtime, or make clothing.

OR join a boxing gym and punch people real good.

Just learn. new. shit. That way you'll have more to share with your kids when you have them!
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>>17359085
You ticked all of society's boxes and none of your own it seems. save up and take as long as possible off work for a journey to as many places as possible. Don't go to these places to view them through a glass wall mind. avoid tourist spots and make your goal for each to place to make good friends and spread happiness. learning about everyone elses life and culture will make you appreciate and understand your own to the degree you no longer feel the need to set yourself the next goal.

self improvement is all well and good unless you are never happy with what you have, otherwise it turns into an endless search
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In your route you've nothing to gain and everything to lose, try getting into something new for you. Even drawing, some instrument, literature, basically anything you're shit at and get good at it
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>>17359085

First off, your post inspired me so I will reply. Just to establish some credential, I recently graduated and am about to begin my career working for an engineering company (I'm not successful yet, but hopefully with time I'll get there).

To me, it sounds like you mastered the part of you that stays focused. Try moving on to mastering the part of you that's not focused.

In less ambiguous terms, your mind thinks that you need something else to keep you going, and if you don't give it direction, you'll end up going through a depression or a mid life crisis. I can't say for sure I have gone through it, but I have spent my last 2 years going through a rough depression. The fact of the matter is your mind is aching for you to conmect with more people.

To answer your question, I recommend going into the arts. start by finding an interest, then connect with people who share your particular interest, practice, and inspire.

You've reached the top of your mountain, now you can find a bigger mountain to climb.

If you don't like the idea of diving into the arts, there's always a shortcut to what you seek: drugs. Be wary, as this method can and will change you.

Hope my 2c helped, best of luck, and remember to keep moving!
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>>17359085
you need something that you feel is going to leave a mark on the world and give your existence meaning. this obviously doesn't have to mean children.

this is the main reason I'm pursing a degree in forensics and biochemistry, because I want to help families get peace for their murdered family/loved ones and think it would make a big impact on people's lives.

find something that you are genuinely interested in, not for the pursuit of money but for the satisfaction of leaving a mark on the world and gaining that satisfaction, be it through art, helping others, helping animals, inspiring others, etc.

I was in the same predicament as you are, and decided to say fuck it and pursue this degree. In the mean time I volunteer at wolf sanctuaries and do stuff I feel will actively help the community and leave an impact on others' lives.

as lame as it sounds, it makes you feel like a part of something bigger.

TL;DR: do something that will make you look back on your death bed and think, damn, I did do some good in the world.
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>>17359679
>all of the guys she's dated
Found the beta cuck
Well you look like one
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http://www.strawpoll.me/10758849/r help
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Most of my life I have chased goals, thinking that if I just got THAT I would feel content enough to settle down and just be happy. You never do. "THAT" is never enough. Learn to be happy where you are. Doesn't mean you can't be ambitious, but when you finally reach success--which it seems you have--that shouldn't pose an issue.
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