Hey /adv/, how do I deal with anger towards people that have

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Hey /adv/, how do I deal with anger towards people that have wronged me in the past and how do I deal with conflict in the future?

Lately I have been plagued with rage over past incidents in which other people have criticized me, back stabbed me, mistreated me, etc. It can be stuff from years ago that some people would probably find petty. But I will just relive these incidents over and over in my head and feel the urge to murder the person who wronged me. I'll even punch myself in the head and pretend I'm punching them.

During the actual situations I usually pretend it doesn't bother me at all, but inside it makes my blood boil for a long time.

A little background about me: I tend to avoid conflict, I care a shit ton about what other people think of me, and I have a toxic reaction to rejection and embarrassment. I suspect I might have aspergers and probably other mental disorders. I had a shitty childhood. I've been a shut in NEET for the last year due to health problems and I feel that this rough chapter in my life has amplified this already big problem. I want to stop feeling this way because it makes me miserable and I'm afraid I might kill someone one day.

And yes, I'm going to seek therapy within the next week. I know I need it but looking for help in the meantime.