i hate working. i don't know if its because i spend so many hours in my room, because it's too many hours (i'm working 9 hours a day from home), because i genuinely hate working, because i don't like programming, because i don't like this specific project, or what. i despise so much waking up knowing i have to do shit. and this is the first job i've had.. i don't know how i'm going to do this for 20 more years or whatever feeling like this. also i think i'm a nihilist so there's no end for me i'm just making money to not end up sucking dick for money not because i have a goal. i don't want kids. i'm not trying to get a lady
Your OP sums up the fears I currently have about what my life might turn into.
So ironically I would be asking you for advice.
>>17353652
i don't know be prepared for this to happen. load up on whiskey? i don't know how to proceed
You're not going to do it for 20 years. You're gonna cry and pussy out and fall off the wagon and fall into a deep spiral of misery and poverty in less than a decade while someone better than you takes your place and betters their life further with it. Just do the right thing and clear the room you're taking up for someone who can use it well.