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My gf will not talk on the phone to save her life (or right now, her immediate future).
She applied to grad school about a month ago staying within the same university, for a 1-1.5 year Master's degree. Since she was already "in network," they're forgoing all the exams and prereq stuff, and basically all she needed was a personal statement and 3 letters of rec.
She finished pretty much everything in a week and sent out the requests for letters of rec, with a personal message. 2/3 get theirs done in a week, and the 3rd either intentionally or unintentionally ignores it. She still works for that professor, so she sends another email, the first half about the letter of rec, the second half about work, and the prof. doesn't address it at all, while the application status page says the prof hasn't even acknowledged it. A week later, she sends another email, which was ignored. I ask her to call the prof during the prof's office hours, and she utterly refuses, getting snappy and bitchy with me.
Last week, the school sent a message to her saying that due to their spaces filling up, they're not going to take her app anymore, since its incomplete. That same day, the prof emails her asking if she needs a letter of rec. GF is inconsolable for 3 days. Then, the admissions officer emails her in surprise, saying that admins told them to extend the deadline for her, as long as she gets the last letter of rec in by tomorrow. She emails the prof on the 5th, and the prof responds quickly, saying that she'll get it done.
Now, its the 7th, the letter is due tomorrow at noon, and she's bugging me and tearing her hair out at work because the status of the recommendation is still "acknowledged" and not "started." She sent another email a little bit ago, and is panicking. I tell her to call, she rejects it.
What do? Ignore it and let her feel like shit and also miss out on a fucking great opportunity? How do I convince her to at least try?
TL:DR. GF can't talk on phone. What do?
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Op you've done all you can to help her, this is just one of those things that she either handles on her own or fails. So let it play out
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>>17334987
This is like the one thing that's genuinely annoying me. Even the emails I'm ghost-writing for her because her original drafts are so indirect and non-assertive, I'm not even surprised the first request was ignored. She didn't make deadlines or urgency clear until I went back through them with her to make sure there was no confusion.
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>>17335002
She wont learn if you are her crutch. You sound like a good guy, let this one play out maybe she'll learn her lesson. It is annoying to see people you care about make stupid fucking decisions, but thats how it goes some times
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>>17335014
I guess I'll sit back then. I just can't stand knowing that she hasn't tried everything. She would go to the actual office itself but their work hours are both 9-5, so she can't do that. It's just the phone.
I'll ride it out then, and focus on consoling her when the expected occurs.
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>>17335033
I would be frustrated as fuck too, but it's her life and her choice.
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>>17335033
don't console her, listen and understand her and take her side but you don't need to tend the baby.
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>>17335033
just make sure she isn't secretly turning on you and getting advice from gay guy friends.
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>>17335090
Maybe console wasn't right, but more support. But I'm probably not going to strongly defend her.
>>17335095
She isn't asking or taking advice from anyone else, parents or peers. She's very embarrassed to be seen making "mistakes."
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>>17335115
i think all should go well for you regardless, then. i'd keep messaging but not like IM messaging. don't make yourself super available.
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