I need some sort of assurance /adv/. So I've been dating

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I need some sort of assurance /adv/.
So I've been dating this woman for about 3 years, & for awhile she had been telling me that she wanted to date and experience a Asian girl. Every time she told me this, i expressed to her that I'd feel like she'd be stepping out of the relationship & betraying me. She would understand at first but later get emotional & guilt me about it. Eventually I allowed it.

At that point we considered our relationship a open one because a true romantic relationship is between two people.

Everybody in our friend group thought it was odd & even some got upset for me. So later on she had developed strong feelings for her, despite that they did not last (she was some sort of mild autism & ocd) & they split. It was apparent that she heartbroken about it for a while but she got over it & we both forgot about it.

So later on we have a emotional fallout & I end up sleeping with another woman. Things lead to another & she hears about it. She confronts me about it but I deny all of it. Inside I feel guilty, yeah I did it behind her back.

But then I think about it.
She WAS the first to step out of the relationship & make it open. She throws this situation in my face every chance she gets, I had sat back & allowed myself to share my lover with someone else just to appease her emotions. Penis or vagina, doesn't matter, she was intimate with another person. But when she hears about me fucking someone else she gets furious.

I understand that what I did was behind her back & she was upfront with me & her wants. But that doesn't change the fact that I was never happy about it.

She tells me that they never had sex but I hear from others that she bragged about doing so.

So I'm here with this question: Am I 100% wrong for having sex with someone else behind her back when she technically stepped out of the relationship & did such first?